Zero. Part 55

Even in summer, alas, there is not a single heron.

"The heron!" Michael cried, staring at the design on the outside of the cup.

"It's on the heron!"

"That's right," Philip said, more proud of his children than he had ever been.

"A microdot over the heron's eye contains the full text of the Katei doc.u.ment.

We need to deliver this to Hadley as soon as possible. He's still got a lot of work left to do. The doc.u.ment is the only way we can identify all the members of the Jiban. Kozo s.h.i.+na was merely the head. But like the Hydra, the Jiban will continue to survive, subverting the economic and political policies of j.a.pan until it is utterly destroyed."

Michael got into the car. "I'd better get to the airport," he said. "The jet grandfather sent should be landing in a couple of minutes."

"I'll go with you," Eliane said. "I'd like to meet Sam Hadley."

Philip went around to the driver's side, bent over. "Michael," he said, "there's a lot I want to tell you, too much for a day or even a week."

Michael looked into his father's lined face. It would take time to adjust his thinking. He had believed that he would never see that face again. But at the same time, forgiveness was a long time in the making. His father had used Michael and Audrey in a scheme to, essentially, trap Lillian. Now she was gone. It was impossible for Michael to imagine her in Russia. He found himself praying for patience, for understanding in a world that seemed to have gone quite mad.

"I want-" Philip had to stop, so overcome with emotion was he. "Someday, I want to see your paintings. I know you're pa.s.sionate about them." He looked away for a moment. "Michael, I'd understand if you blamed me for what I did to you, how I created your life for you. I'd understand if you didn't want me to be a part of your life now."

"Stop it! You're being so G.o.dd.a.m.n reasonable. I don't want to hear this!"

"But there's more," Philip went on. "I want you to know there's more. The shape your life has taken had a purpose. Just as Jonas's death had a purpose in the overall scheme of things. It's unfortunate, but both were necessary."

"Yeah, I know. The gospel according to St. Philip," Michael said, tramping on the accelerator.

"He's so angry," Audrey said. "It's as if he hates you."

Philip watched them drive off, then he turned back to his daughter. "We'd better get checked in," he said. "I'll have to fly back to Tokyo in a couple of days."

"You're going so soon?" Audrey said.

"I want to get back." Philip kissed her cheek. "I'm needed there."

"By Michiko?"

"Yes," he said. "Among others. Joji's going to need my help. He's oyabun of the Taki-gumi now. Until all the ministers of the Jiban are taken into custody, there is still a great deal of damage they can do. And even after, the Taki-gumi must remain as a kind of watchdog to prevent the deep-seated ties that the Jiban has made throughout j.a.pan from keeping its philosophyalive. In a way, we've returned to the way it was in j.a.pan just after the war.

Michiko and I need to help Joji as we once helped his father."

"But Michiko is married," Audrey said. "What will happen to you two?"

"I don't know," Philip said. "But we've never had any guarantees-who does, when it comes to human beings? She and n.o.buo never loved one another. Theirs was a marriage of power, arranged by their fathers to cement a merger between the family businesses. But n.o.buo would lose great face if Michiko walked out on him. She could never do that, and I would not ask it of her. We'll do the best we can."

The two of them carried their bags into the lodge. Philip, watching her, did not know what to do. "I'm sorry it's turned out like this," he said. "I wish it could be otherwise. But I am what I am. I wasn't a very good husband. I guess I wasn't much better as a father."

"Don't say that," Audrey said. She had her father back, and nothing would make her give him up. "Don't ever say that."

"You know it's true," he said. "And until you accept it, the anger and the pain you're feeling will always cause you to resent me."

"I don't want to be angry with you."

"But, Aydee, you are," Philip said. "You have to be; it's only human. I want you to know that it's all right. You can be angry-the way Michael is angry. I know what's beneath the anger and the hurt. I'll still be here when they're gone."

Audrey stopped then. "Dad, do you think it's possible that Mom will come back?"

Philip shook his head. "Honestly, no."

Audrey was crying. "Oh G.o.d. I thought she would come home. That she'd miss us too much, that she'd do anything to be with us again." She looked at him. "And now she's gone-forever. It's just as if she's dead."

"I know, Aydee. I know."

"I can't believe it," she said as if to herself. "Not yet, at least. I have to think she's coming back. Dad, I have to keep her alive in my mind. I can't shut her out like that. She's not dead, not really."

"You have to do what's best for you, Aydee."

"You hate her, don't you, for what she's done?"

Philip took his time answering. He wanted to tell her the truth. In time, he said, "No, I don't hate her. I did, once. I suppose I could not have done what I did unless I hated her. But that's gone now. I feel sorry for her. That's all."

"She loved us," Audrey said, "didn't she?"

"As much as Lillian could love anyone, she loved you and Michael."

"I miss her, Dad."

Looking into his daughter's eyes, Philip somehow found the words. "Well h.e.l.l, Aydee, you haven't got much to hold you here. How about coming to Tokyo in a couple of days?"

She looked at him. "Are you sure? I mean, you'll be so busy."

"Not too busy to spend time with you." He smiled. "There's so much to see over there, so many places I could take you to." He found the thought exhilarating.

"Besides," he added, "you won't have to make the trip alone. Michael and Eliane will be coming over with your grandfather."

"They will?" Audrey said.

Philip nodded. "Hartley's putting up a good front. He's as tough as they come, always was. But this news about your mother has gotten to him. Only someone who knows him as long as I do could see it. He's devastated. He told me that he wants out of the intelligence-gathering game. That doesn't sound like your grandfather. He'll take care of the Katei doc.u.ment, then he's resigning. The president wants me to take Jonas's place, to head up an all-new agency.

There's a lot of damage your mother and Karsk have done. 'We're crippled,' the president said, 'but we're not dead yet.' "

He did not want to tell her-or anyone else-the real reason the president needed him: Everyone in the American intelligence community was terrified ofLillian, of her knowledge, of her capabilities. Only he, it was felt, had a chance of blunting the enormous edge she could give the KGB. a.s.suming, of course, that the Soviets would listen to her or trust her now that Karsk was dead. Philip wondered if perhaps Lillian would gain a measure of the equality she hungered for, after all.

"Are you going to take the a.s.signment?"

Philip looked toward the snow-capped mountains. He felt Audrey give a little s.h.i.+ver. For the first time, he was aware of just how much a decision he would make could affect his family. "Right now, I don't know what I'll do," he said.

"For the time being, I've convinced Sam to join us in j.a.pan. 'It's good to know I still have family,' he told me. And you know you were always his favorite, Aydee." He gave her a squeeze. "Besides, Eliane would like to get to know you. And I'll bet inside of a week, you two will be inseparable."

"I hope not, for Michael's sake," Audrey laughed. She smiled inwardly. She was very pleased by the thought. "Anyway, I miss Tori already." She nodded. "I'll come. We have to take care of Grandpa." We have to take care of each other now, she thought. "Of course I'll come." She put her head on her father's shoulder. She sighed, thinking, It's so nice to be like this.

At her side, feeling her warmth against him, Philip was certain that he would soon feel her love as well. Time, he thought. All we really need is time.

Isn't that what Michael said? I'll do anything to keep us all together.

He began to dream of j.a.pan, of drinking green tea, of watching the cherry blossoms, of being with his family. His only regret was that Jonas would not be there save in spirit.

He hugged his daughter to him. And he thought, That is the real difference between us, Lillian. It took me a long time, but I have finally learned what life is all about.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Eric Van l.u.s.tbader was born, raised and educated in Greenwich Village. He was graduated from Columbia College in 1969, having majored in sociology. While there, he founded an independent music production company, a move that led to a fifteen-year involvement in the entertainment industry.

Since 1979, Mr. l.u.s.tbader has devoted his full time to writing. He is the author of five previous internationally bestselling novels, The Miko, The Ninja, Sirens, Black Heart, and Jian.

He lives in New York City and Southhampton, N.Y., with his wife, free-lance editor Victoria Schochet l.u.s.tbader.