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I feel the walls of reality cras.h.i.+ng down on me. Could it be true? Could my sister, after all this time of waiting, actually have thrown away her virginity to some random guy at Slay School? No way. No effing way. This has to be some kind of joke.
Silhouetted in the light streaming in from our window, Sunny gives me an amused shrug. "Magnus? Magnus who?" she says with a giggle.
"Are you effing kidding me right now?" I demand. "You've been sitting here for days, practically comatose 'cause you can't get in touch with the guy. Going on and on about how you're going to die without him. And now you're telling me you're just hooking up with random cla.s.smates and pretending he doesn't exist?" I shake my head in disbelief.
"Look, I'm bored. And a girl has needs, you know," she replies sulkily.
"Sunny, I've known you since you dropped out of the freaking womb. And you've never once had 'needs,'" I remind her. "Not to mention you told me a billion times you wanted your first experience to be special." I snort. "So was it special, Sun? Was hooking up with Aiden all you wanted it to be and more?"
Sunny looks a little taken aback. But she rallies. "It was great," she retorts. "Absolutely fantastic. I can't wait to do it again."
I can feel tears coming to my eyes and I'm not even sure why. After all, I've been trying to get her to give it up for years. I should be happy she finally got it over with, for goodness' sake. But instead all I can think of is Magnus's sad eyes. If he knew about this it would crush him. Absolutely crush him.
Sunny looks over at me and scowls. "Oh you're so self-righteous, aren't you?" she says scornfully. "What, do you think you're the only one allowed to have fun here?"
"Excuse me?"
"Don't act all innocent with me. I've heard all about your little rendezvous with Corbin in the woods," she says. "It's all over campus. Don't you have a boyfriend that you're not supposed to be cheating on, too?"
Oh G.o.d. Fears slams through my heart. People saw us? That is so not good. What if they put two and two together and- "Yeah, I thought so," Sunny adds smugly, taking my silence as an admission of guilt.
I decide I need to come clean. After all, I have no one else to tell. I swallow hard and prop myself up in bed. "Sunny, I've wanted to tell you. I'm in the worst situation ever," I blurt out, feeling the tears welling up in my eyes. Bleh. I hate crying. Especially since vampires cry blood.
In a flash, my sister is on my side of the bed, peering at me with concerned eyes. "What's wrong, sweetie?" she asks. I breathe a sigh of relief. For all her sudden boy weirdness, she's still kind, caring Sunny underneath it all.
"I ... I ... drank his blood," I manage to say in a rush. The need to admit it out loud has built up inside like volcano, desperate to erupt. "I drank so much I think I almost killed him."
Sunny stares at me, a horrified look on her face.
"What? Why would you-?"
"I know, I know," I moan, collapsing back on my bed and staring up at the ceiling. "But I'm a vampire, Sun. And I've been starving to death this entire time, not having any blood subst.i.tute on campus. I was wounded during the fairy attack and I needed something to help me heal quickly before someone took me to the infirmary and they found out I wasn't human." I squeeze my eyes shut and then open them again. "It was supposed to only be a one-time thing. But then Corbin brought me out into the woods and ..." I choke on my tears. "I couldn't help myself."
Sunny reaches over and smoothes my hair, gazing at me with worried eyes. "Poor girl," she says. "That must have been horrible for you."
"Please. I wish it were. I wish it were disgusting and horrible and nasty and I never wanted to do it again. But instead, it was amazing. Better than s.e.x. It was all I could do not to drain the guy dry." I grip my sheets in my fists, making a face. "I don't know what's wrong with me."
"Well, it sounds like you're a vampire," Sunny says simply. "And that's what vampires do: They drink blood from people. It's in your nature. How can you fight it?"
I let out a frustrated breath. "It's so ridiculous. Now I'm a vampire, vampire slayer, and turning into a fairy to boot. I found out today that I can't lie anymore. Literally can't spit out anything but the truth. Isn't that crazy?"
Sunny stares at me, horror written on her face.
"Yeah," I admit. "The fairy thing is still happening. I should have never gone and kissed my elbow like that. I'm such an idiot."
Sunny opens her mouth to say something, but at that moment, the church bells start ringing outside. I glance over at her and she shrugs. A moment later, we hear scuffling outside our door. I get out of bed and peek out the window to see students, en ma.s.se, rus.h.i.+ng toward the chapel.
"It's a little early for church," I remark.
Sunny joins me at the window. "Not to mention it's not Sunday."
A sudden knock at the door startles us both. We whirl around. Lilli peeks her head in, carrying her requisite squeeze bottle of Kool-Aid. "Mandatory meeting in the chapel," she informs us. "Get dressed and get over there quick."
Ten minutes later, we're seated in one of the back pews. The place is packed with students, all whispering to one another, trying to figure out why they've been called together at the crack of dawn. My heart pounds in my chest and my hands are shaking as I stare up at the still-empty pulpit. As a vampire, setting foot in a church already gives me flu-like symptoms. Add those to my growing trepidation about the meeting's topic and I'm pretty much a mess.
I feel movement and turn to see Corbin slipping into the pew beside me. The other Alphas take seats a row back. Corbin's freshly bandaged and looking anemic. But at least he's alive.
"Hey, baby," he murmurs, folding his hand into mine. Sunny gives me a knowing look, but I turn away. What am I supposed to do? Reject him in front of his friends? Besides, holding hands isn't that big of a deal. It's not like ... kissing. Or, you know, ripping his neck open and sucking out his blood.
"Do you know what this meeting's about?" I whisper as we watch the headmistress walk down the aisle and to the podium.
Corbin bites his lower lip, looking nervous. "Well, I blacked out yesterday. And so I went back to the nurse for a follow-up appointment." He swallows. "They think I've been bitten a second time."
I stare at him, horrified. Oh G.o.d, why hadn't I thought about him going back to the infirmary? Now they're going to know it wasn't part of some random fairy attack.
"I know!" he says, completely mistaking my look. "It's awful. I don't know what's happening to me."
I can feel Sunny's hard stare at my back, but refuse to acknowledge it. I already know what she's thinking: that I'm a disgusting, horrible monster. And she's right. To do this to a fellow human being ...
I need to get out of this place and fast. Get back to the coven, get back on synthetic. Or hire a donor even. Whatever it takes to stop this horrible transformation. This horrible hunger.
Corbin smiles at me, completely clueless. "Do you want to grab breakfast after this?" he asks. "I'm starving from all the blood loss and I'd love to spend some time with you."
What have I done to this guy? Stolen everything. His blood, his dignity. And yet he still comes back for more. I'm so disgusted with myself I can't even see straight.
"Please?" he adds and the hopefulness in his voice makes me want to stake myself in the heart.
Luckily the headmistress starts talking before I can answer him. We turn our attention to the pulpit.
"Students of Riverdale, thank you for gathering so early this morning for this unannounced a.s.sembly," she says into the microphone. "I know rumors have been flying and I wanted to take this time to address them and also inform you of what's really going on."
Murmurs break out, but she silences everyone with a stern gaze.
"As you may have heard, two nights ago, some of our students were illegally partying off campus." She throws a disapproving look over in the direction of the Alphas, who squirm in their seats. "While outside of school grounds, away from the guards, they were attacked by some winged humanoid creatures that we first believed to be members of the Sidhe. Otherwise known as fairies."
I stare up at her in confusion. First believed? What does she mean "first believed?" Of course they were fairies. What else could they possibly be?
"However, we a.n.a.lyzed the bite mark one of the students received from these alleged fairies," she continues and a drip of fear splashes into my empty stomach. "And while it does contain a strain of fairy DNA, it also contains DNA ..." She pauses dramatically and everyone sits with bated breath. "Of a vampire."
The whole chapel erupts into excited conversation, but the headmistress hushes them with a commanding wave. "I am not finished," she says and the room falls silent again.
"We originally a.s.sumed that it was a random attack. But last night, the bitten student came back for a follow-up examination. He'd blacked out and lost more blood. We believe he may have been bitten a second time by this vampiric Sidhe. Which means the creature is likely still at large and may be hiding around campus."
This time, the students aren't so easy to quiet down and the din of conversation reaches an almost deafening level.
"I promise you we're taking this very seriously," the headmistress says, her voice commanding over the chaos. "We've informed all your parents of the incident and they've agreed, for the time being, it's best to go into lockdown until we flush the monster out. No cla.s.ses for the rest of the week and you will all stay in your dorms, under the watchful eyes of our best guardians."
This elicits initial cheers, quickly followed by disappointed groans. No cla.s.ses-good. Stuck in the dorms? Definitely not.
The headmistress isn't done, either. "In addition to scouring the campus, we will be interviewing each and every one of you," she adds. "To learn if any of you has any information on this predator. If you can think of anything unusual, please come and see me at any time."
"Ow!" Corbin cries beside me. I look over and am embarra.s.sed to realize that I've been squeezing his hand way too tight.
"Sorry," I whisper. "It's just ... scary."
But scary isn't even the half of it. I'm stuck here now, under lock and key, making the possibility of escape even more difficult. And when they bring me in for questioning and I find myself unable to tell a lie?
Well, it's good-bye Rayne.
16.
We're dismissed by the headmistress and black-clad guardians armed with stakes and other a.s.sorted weaponry escort us over to the library. They tell us we're to spend the day here and the night back in our rooms. As if anyone's interested in studying at this point.
The Alphas invite Sunny and I to the private back room. There, among expensive collections and dusty tomes, they've set up camp. It should feel like a sanctuary-dressed in fine, soft leather and rich, elegant wood. Instead it feels like a prison. Not to mention it's stuffy as h.e.l.l and making me sneeze.
"I'm freaking out here!" Mara says, as she closes the door behind us and turns the key. "I mean, basically what they're saying is there's a murderer out there!"
"Well, not a murderer per se," I point out, before realizing I should just sit and keep my mouth shut.
Too late. All the Alphas turn to look at me.
"I mean, no one's actually dead," I finish lamely. If only they knew they'd just locked the monster in with them, instead of out.
"Yeah, for now," Peter b.u.t.ts in. "But how do we know this vampire-fairy mutant thing won't strike again? And what if this time he drains his victim dry?"
"I was pretty close to death," Corbin adds wearily and another pang of guilt stabs in my gut. He's plopped himself down in a nearby armchair, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. "That's what they told me in the infirmary anyway."
"Are you sure you don't remember anything, Corbin?" Varuka asks, peering at him with anxious eyes.
"No," he says, shaking his head, eyes still closed. "It's all a complete and utter blank."
The others let out frustrated sighs. "It's so maddening," Leanna complains. "To sit here and do nothing. Maybe we could research or something?" She grabs an ancient-looking book from a nearby shelf and starts thumbing through.
"It's not going to do any good," Sunny interjects. I can feel her looking directly at me and wish she wouldn't. "As the headmistress said, this creature is a totally new thing no one's ever heard of or seen before."
"It sounds so horrible!" Mara says, making a disgusted face. "Some disgusting vile monster putting its claws in poor Corbin and sucking his-"
I can't take it anymore. I burst up from my seat. "I've got to ... go ... check out a book," I mutter as I head for the door. I meant to say go to the bathroom, but unfortunately as a vampire, I no longer have the need to pee. And as a fairy I can't lie about it. What a winning combination.
I can feel the stares at my back as I unlock and push open the door, then head out into the library hallway, b.l.o.o.d.y tears welling up in my eyes. What am I going to do? How am I going to get out of here? I catch a guardian watching me from across the room with suspicious eyes so I swipe my tears away and turn the corner.
I'm trapped. A sitting duck. It's only a matter of time before they discover who I really am. What I really am.
I make a mad dash for the front door, but it's locked and the windows are all barred. And, I soon realize, even if I could just walk out, it wouldn't do me any good. There are slayer operatives everywhere, milling about outside, heavily armed with crossbows and stakes and scary-looking medieval axes. I wouldn't make it ten feet before being cut down.
I lean against the wall, feeling defeated. I'm going to die here. I'll never see my parents again. Never see Jareth again ...
"Rayne!"
Oh G.o.d, what now? I turn to see Corbin, rus.h.i.+ng down the hall toward me, his emerald eyes full of worry. "Are you okay?" he asks.
I try to nod, but that would be a lie. So instead I resign myself to shaking my head.
Corbin reaches out and brushes a lock of hair from my eyes with tender fingers. I know it's meant to be a comforting gesture, but it only serves to make me feel worse. If only he knew the truth about me. He'd be repulsed. Disgusted. He'd want nothing more than to strike me down then and there with his own bare hands. And, since we're all about the truth here in fairyland, I probably deserve all that and more.
Because even now, standing here with him in all my distress, I still can't stop thinking about his blood.
But he doesn't know. He has no clue. "Don't worry," he says in a low, soothing voice. "I'll protect you. No matter what. You don't have to be scared."
"Thanks," I say, staring down at my feet. "I don't deserve you." So very true.
He leads me over to an empty corner and pulls me down to the floor. Pressing my back against the hard stone wall, I stare up at the ceiling. He reaches over and takes my cold hand in his own warm one and starts stroking my palm while whispering comforting nothings in my ear.
I know I shouldn't be doing this. I know I should be staying as far away from him as possible. But yet I find I can't pull away. Instead, I snuggle up against his shoulder, breathing in his warm, woodsy scent, trying to block out everything except this one moment of peace. Maybe the last one I'll be able to enjoy for a very long time. Maybe the last one forever.
Suddenly a squeal interrupts us. My eyes fly open, fear striking my heart. A moment later, my sister whirls through the hall, followed by a boy I don't recognize. They're laughing and screeching and ignoring the librarians' shus.h.i.+ng.
"Your sister is a piece of work," Corbin remarks dryly.
I watch Sunny disappear around the corner. "She's not usually like this," I say. In fact, she's never like this. Has she just totally snapped because of all the stress we've been under? Or is something else going on here? "I'm going to talk to her tonight," I add.
"Actually, I was sort of hoping you'd come to my room tonight," Corbin says, looking over at me shyly. "We could sneak you in, past the guards ..."
Oh G.o.d. I swallow hard. I've got to stop this. Now. It's gone way too far as it is. Because as much as I'd love to go to his room tonight, it's not for the reasons he thinks. And there's no way I can put myself in that situation again. Because I know what will happen. I'm not strong enough to resist once I get that close.
"Look Corbin," I manage to say. "I know we've been hanging out a lot lately and it's been really nice. I like you. A lot. But ..." I scrunch up my face. It's going to be hard to break this to him gently when I can only tell the truth. "I have a pretty serious boyfriend back home and I don't think we should cross that line."
His face falls and he looks crushed at my words. My heart aches at the pain I've stupidly caused him by my weakness. I should have never let him kiss me. I should have died of starvation before taking his blood. "I know I should have told you earlier," I say sadly. "It's just ... I don't know. You're great. And I've been having a great time with you. But ... we can't ... you know, let things ... I mean, I've already let things go too far."
It's killing me to say all this. To see the tears well up in his eyes and know I'm the reason they fall. 'Cause I do like him. A lot. And I don't think it's only for his blood, either. He's a good person, under his arrogant exterior. Strong, caring, smart. A great catch for the right girl. But I'm not the right girl. And if I don't prove that now, I may end up killing him the next time we're together. And I couldn't live with myself after that.
He starts rising to his feet, anger overtaking his sadness. Scrambling up myself, I grab him by the arm. But he shakes off my grasp. "I'm sorry!" I say, desperately searching his face for some hint of forgiveness. "I know I should have told you from the beginning."
He waves me off. "You don't have to explain," he says. "I get it."
"Please, Corbin. I really like you. I want us to be friends."
He looks at me, his eyes a battleground between hate and love. Finally, he sighs, his shoulders slumping. "Come here," he says, beckoning me closer. "Give me a hug and we'll figure this out together."
I collapse in his arms, pressing my body against his st.u.r.dy frame. I can feel his heart beating wildly in his chest as he pulls me close to him. Burying his face in my hair, he runs his hands up and down my back and ...