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Julius Caesar Chapter 48

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Chapter 48


Alexander's POV .

I was beyond turbulent .

My son . My sorry, so sorry son managed to do it again . Managed to repeat the same d.a.m.n blunder . He managed to fall in love .

I clutched my bedsheets and glared at my dead phone . I could not comprehend how stupid he possibly got . I could not believe how he ruined everything .

Of course, I knew . I knew about his d.a.m.ned abduction . And of course, I knew how it happened . I had warned him that I'd had him watched over . And I was beyond displeased at his idiocy when Simon -one of my men- reported seeing him kiss a girl and fall to the ground before getting dragged to a van . Simon had followed them and knew where exactly they were taking my son . He then claimed that he saw the 'dead boy's brother'- which I figured was Maxime . Simon obviously recognized Maxime because he was the one who got what was needed done . Simon was the one who shot Leonard in the neck .

It didn't take me long to connect the dots . It had turned out that my son didn't only fall in love . He'd fallen in love with our foe's sister .

What a commendable plot twist .

And after realizing that, everything made sense . For instance, why he was too afraid to get the d.a.m.ned doc.u.ments on his own . He was scared to hurt the b.l.o.o.d.y girl by harming her brothers . He didn't want it to come from his side . He didn't want himself to blame . So he decided to throw it all on me . And I believed .

All for the sake of protecting those doc.u.ments from his ignorant self . He couldn't know what was in them because he was too d.a.m.n reckless and thoughtless . He would ruin everything I worked on for all those years since the death of his mother- Miguel .

He shouldn't see his mother's will .

He shouldn't think anything except for what I allow him to think . He shouldn't because he wouldn't understand . There's a reason why I had to threaten him by the thought of enjailing him . Because there's a more pressing reason as to why our motto is 'Kill for Gorj' . He didn't really kill for Gorj . He killed for more than Gorj . More than he would ever imagine . For a much more n.o.ble purpose .

Gorj isn't merely an advertising company . No . That's just a disguise . But that's another story for another time . And that's actually the secret I'd mentioned before .

Naturally, Julius isn't allowed to know because secrecy is a priority in what we actually do . No one should know anything except for people who worked with me and understood the enormity of this . Loyal and understanding people like Philip .

You couldn't have possibly thought that he worked out of his will for all those years .

And I was desperate . Desperate that until today I couldn't get the doc.u.ments in my hands . And all I could imagine was what would happen if the doc.u.ments fell in the wrong hands . If it got out to the public . The connections people, especially our enemies, would make would be detrimental .

And if Julius got to know what they carried, he might as well respond like an enemy . He would not be forgiving for 'living by force' was all I taught him .

You'd wonder why I didn't work on a good 'father-son' bond and the answer is quite obvious . I wanted him to be completely and emotionally independent . He shouldn't for a wavering moment develop any sympathies . So that even if my life had to be the price Gorj paid for some reason, Julius shouldn't hesitate to kill me . He would have to do it . Kill his own father that is .

But I'd clearly failed at that part . I couldn't mitigate his emotions . The boy had a much bigger heart than I had antic.i.p.ated . And he seemed to always, stubbornly recover everytime he paid the price with it . He would never exterminate his d.a.m.ned heart .

So all I managed to do was try to make him believe that he was nothing but a 'filthy', 'hypocrite' murderer . I tried to make him believe that he was incapable of emotion . I tried to weave it in his soul . I wanted to make 'doubt' his life companion . I wanted him to doubt any emotion he'd ever welcome . I wanted him to constantly remind himself of who he is before venturing into anything . I also wanted 'pretence' to be his fear . I wanted him to fear the fact that he could be pretending emotion, not actually feeling it .

Being harsh on him was only a must . Scars, bullet shots, killing his love in front of his eyes was only to make him stronger . To try to kill his enduring heart . I wanted to feel his heartburn, but hear it come beating emptily back from ashes . I wanted him to morph into an invincible being .

So witnessing him slip again was disappointing and infuriating .

Julius had lived my life and I said that before . He had lived it well . He learnt quickly, observed well, was incredibly tolerant and had a great gift of reading people's emotions from their facial and body expressions . His abilities were invaluable . And I discovered those long before involving him in Gorj .

I will not deny, whatsoever, that other reasons as to why I let Julius into this, was my undying love to Augustus and my utter hatred toward Miguel for forcing me to take care of him until he was twenty . Blimey, she threatened me before she died as if she knew of my disloyalty . She said that she'd have people sent to check on her son's well-being every now and then . She said she'd take Julius and her company away from me and hand them over to her brother if I weren't 'careful' . She said that all my profit should be channelled only into Julius . She wanted him to study abroad and achieve greatness .

It was her last wish .

But she hadn't had the slightest clue about the plans I had for Gorj . And I was too deep in my plans to back out then . I needed the company- which left me a helpless, vulnerable, malleable Julius to take care of . And that was how it all started .

And now? I had to do something before it was too late . I wouldn't go and 'save' Julius just now . I wanted him to suffer the consequences for a while . I wanted him to learn a lesson or two . I wanted him to pay with his heart again . One last time .

Maybe it'd finally expire then .

I put my phone on the bed next to me and took a deep breath only to have my room's door slammed open by Augustus .

I sat up alertly and gaped at his dishevelled appearance . Messy, almost-white hair, wide, blue eyes with dark circles beneath them, unshaven face and parted dark-red lips . He stood tall and handsome in black pants and an unb.u.t.toned white, b.u.t.ton-up s.h.i.+rt with a hand tightly curled around the door's k.n.o.b, his neck taut and his breathing heavy .

His antic.i.p.ating facial expression turned into a slight scowl as he studied me . And I felt my heart clench at the way he looked at me . He never looked at me like this . What could've happened?

I raised my eyebrows and his hand dropped from the doork.n.o.b before he placed it on his hips and ran the other one through his hair while exhaling loudly .

"Okay . Okay . This isn't funny anymore," was what he said, hand still caught in his hair and brilliant blue eyes narrowed at me .

I pinched my nose at the accusing tone he used . "Pardon?"

"This isn't funny anymore!" He repeated breathily, dropping his hand from his hair so that he held his hips with both his hands .

I looked at him confusedly . Why he seemed utterly provoked was beyond my understanding . "I don't understand you, son . "

"You don't, huh?" He narrowed his eyes, even more, his voice thick and strangled . "Dad, I'm not as daft as I used to be!"

I frowned at his frantic state and c.o.c.ked my head a little . "Is there something wro-"

"Yes! Of course," he exploded . "Of course there's something wrong . There always is!"

"Augustus," I stated firmly, s.h.i.+fting on the bed . "What are you getting on?"

His toned chest heaved with every breath he took as he clenched his jaws, shut his eyes and raised his right hand to rub his temples . "Alright . Alright . Where is- uh- where is Julius?"

His question was posthaste but managed to linger bitterly in the air between us . My eyes widened and he dropped his hand from his temples to openly stare at me . "Julius?"

I thought my heart died a little .

---

Samantha's POV .

"You look absolutely exquisite today, love . " My breath caught in my trachea as the lights above me brightened . I squinted then quickly turned my back to the stage's platform to find him standing behind me . My eyes quickly travelled down his length . He stood straight and tall . Barefoot and dominant . His now b.u.t.toned pants were rolled up a bit beyond his ankles and he wore his black leather jacket on his bare chest . It was open and did little to hide the valleys and depths of his faultless body . His hands were hidden behind his back . And when I looked up at his face, his dark red lips were curved in an obnoxiously perfect smile and his black hair was ta.s.selled randomly, yet appealingly .

He looked scary .

His forests for eyes devoured me shamelessly as his smile widened and his eyes crinkled . I had to clear my throat and frown despite the heat that slapped the back of my neck and all the way up to my cheeks .

"And you look repugnant . " I found myself telling him .

He lowered his head, grinned, looked up and caught my eyes . His smile faltered and then there was a moment of silence when I stared into the depths of his unwavering, emeralds . I immediately looked away, not allowing myself to be captivated by their beauty and intensity again .

"You're here to finally free me, I hope?" His voice was strong, his face serious and momentarily smile-free, and his eyes sharp with the thoughts they carried as weapons .

I smirked at his confidence . "No . "

"No?" He was trying not to roll his eyes as he feigned confusion and caged the anger that he thought was invisible to me . "Why? Planning to keep me as your pet? Lock me up, feed me and watch me grow an inch every day?" He raised his eyebrows at me and I shrugged .

"Maybe," I teased as he made no effort to hide his irritation . "Like it or not, we're keeping you hostage . "

"Hostage?" He said it like it was an insult, his face contorted and his head tilted at an odd angle . "Are you being absolutely serious, love? Are you being serious, serious?" He s.h.i.+fted his weight from one leg to the other, his hands still behind his back . He was breathing faster . I could tell from the chaotic movement of his chest . I was angering him .

I raised my eyebrows subtly at him . "We want your father . And we'll get to him through you . "

Julius gaped at me for a while, processing what I said before he raised his eyebrows and let out a hard, forced laugh . "You really cannot be serious . "

I shrugged at him as I watched his mouth form unspoken words . He then shut his eyes, shook his head and smiled .


I shrugged at him as I watched his mouth form unspoken words . He then shut his eyes, shook his head and smiled .

"I'm afraid, you'll be disappointed," I said with a fake sigh .

"You have no idea what you're doing . " His voice was clipped and his eyes were unkind when they snapped open .

"I'm satisfying myself," I said coolly, daring to look into his death-cold eyes .

"At what?" He frowned deeply as the corner of his upper lip lifted itself . "At the cost of my freedom? My time?"

"Your time?" I scoffed as I watched him slowly regain his composure . "And am I supposed to care?" My voice was mocking . "I mean, by keeping you here, I'm saving lives . What does time mean to a cruel thing? To a thing that wears the smell of blood and cadavers as perfume?"

He drew back his eyebrows subtly as I noticed a flicker of some emotion flit into and out of his suddenly distant eyes . He then closed his eyes, snapped them open and stared into mine . "And you seem to be particularly oblivious . " His voice was breathy and harsh . "Or you choose to be absolutely idiotic about ignoring the very obvious," he continued, with his lips hardly moving . "-that you're within less than ten feet of a murderer . What makes you think that I wouldn't want your blood as 'perfume' too?" My breath hitched at the thought as I gaped more at him . "I've been stinking for a couple of days, love . Your blood would be very appetizing . "

And he was being absolutely serious saying this . He wasn't smiling . His lips were pulled in a thin line and his eyes were waiting to be challenged . Waiting for a win . His once casual stance was threatening as dangerous, lethal energy buzzed around him .

I was almost terrified . I thought I was incapable of talking .

I then noticed him take a step back as his shoulders relaxed and his face neutralized . "I want to go . "

"I'm sorry," was all I managed to utter .

His face screwed up . "You don't understand . " His voice was dangerously low . "You can't possibly think it's that simple . "

"What's not simple about this?" I tried maintaining a steady voice as I clasped my shaky hands in front of me . And he seemed to notice because his eyes dropped down to glance at them . I immediately unclasped them and hid them behind my back . Like he did with his hands .

He looked up, glanced at my eyes, clenched his jaws, looked away, exhaled shakily then sighed . "My father will never show up . "

"We'll see," I said bitterly .

He closed his eyes and inhaled sharply . "If he doesn't show up," he said . "-I'm leaving . "

"That returns to us," I said referring to Maxime as his eyes opened and widened with renewed interest .

"Us?" He caricatured . "You mean you and your pathetic excuse of a brother?" He then smirked as a few hair strands managed to fall over his left eye .

I clenched my fists behind my back and furrowed my eyebrows . He had absolutely no right to insult my own brother in front of me . He was belittling me and underestimating my reaction .

But being angry wasn't something that came naturally to me . So I decided to take a deep, calming breath and tilt my head . "Don't you dare call him that . "

"I shall call him what I see him as, darling . " His voice was strong and confident .

"I'm not your darling . " I scowled and he seemed to ignore me .

"And he's not your brother . " I was surprised by the sharpness in his voice and the storms raging under his irises . I almost believed him .

"What do yo-"

"How can he be a brother if he encourages you to get blood on your hands, dammit?" He asked me . "Can you possibly be that naive, Samantha?" And suddenly he sounded so sincere . Suddenly, I felt that his eyes were actually reaching out for me, not insulting me .

He used my name .

"He thought you killed his own brother!" I said hotly, defending Maxime .

"Well, I'll be G.o.dd.a.m.ned!" His voice was louder than normal and I could see that it was taking him loads of energy to keep himself from las.h.i.+ng out . And I thought- I never saw Julius ever angry . "Why didn't he come and finish me off himself? I bet he'd have the time of his life . " Julius was getting on a point, I couldn't grasp yet .

"Maxime is not a murderer!" I fought back and Julius actually leaned back a bit with frozen fury painting his features .

"And you are?" His nose flared and his face reddened from all the rage that kept building up right beneath his skin . I could feel it radiating off him in waves .

"And you are?" His nose flared and his face reddened from all the rage that kept building up right beneath his skin . I could feel it radiating off him in waves .

"Of course not," I said defensively . "I'm not a murderer . "

"Of course you're not," he said, shaking his head vigorously . "But you were a finger pull away from becoming one . Your brother, my love," he panted . "-manipulated you . "

I frowned at the nonsense he was saying . Maxime would never be in the right mind to do this . I mean, Leonard was just killed . In front of him .

"Manipulated me?" I screwed my face at him angrily . "How dare you accus-"

"Maxime is a murderer, darling," he said as if proud of this indictment . "He is no better than me . He might be even worse . "

"And presently you might be manipulating me!" I found my voice miraculously as I ignored Julius's accusations . He was just blathering anything .

Julius looked taken aback by my statement before his lips curled into a sneer . "You know I'd never do that . Samantha . "

The sincerity in his voice and eyes caught me off guard and left me wondering . Was he even worth listening to?

"I've no way of knowing . " My voice was harsh and I wanted it to be . "You manipulated me when I was blind . You manipulated my innocence and made me believe that you were someone worth caring for . Forgot already? Didn't know that memory loss came as a side effect of murder . "

Julius's rising figure faltered . He looked me in the eyes like I said something he didn't want to hear . Something forbade for him . "I manipulated you?" His voice was barely a whisper . "You've no ide-" He then stopped himself, closed his eyes, touched his fingers to his lips, and s.h.i.+fted a bit . His eyes snapped open and I was surprised to see the stories in them . Stories he immediately decided to hide in the shelves of his bright, emerald irises . His soft eyes hardened and I wondered how he did that almost unnoticeably .

He is a murderer- I then thought . Murder is all about deceit and being smart about choosing what to show .

"You're right . " He then said solidly, nodding as I noticed his throat move . "I manipulated you . " He said with effort and I raised my eyebrows surprisedly . He just seemed so offended a few seconds ago . "You were beautifully naive . And my murderer instincts got automatically activated . " He stated with eyes so blank, giving me no way of understanding him .

I grimaced . But my heart kept nagging me . I didn't believe what he said . But I should've . And I realized Julius was right . I needed to stop being naive .

"Long story short," Julius then said, shutting his eyes wearily . "Maxime is mentally disturbed . He's tryi-"

"A psychopath has no right to insult others . " I managed to slip in, but he ignored me .

"He's trying to 'replace' you with Leonard . " He emphasized more, looking down . "He's trying to get you to be his partner in crime . Because he's lunatic . He'll only see you as Leonard . I've dealt with his likes befo-"

"Sounds to me that you're describing yours-" He then looked up, his lips parted as I noticed the heavy movement of his bare chest, the tautness in his neck and his exasperated facial expression .

"You are not listening to me!" He then exploded and I almost gasped at the actual concern that lingered in his features for longer than he'd normally allow . And I wondered if he could control that too . I wondered so many things . "Your brother is planning on getting your hands dirty . Because he's psychotic! And I'm scared you'd succ.u.mb to his theatrics and pathological lying . And I know you will!"

"I'm not stupid . " I started slowly and realized that my reply meant that I might've believed him . I found myself looking for theories in my mind to prove him right .

"You will fall for it . " The intensity in his voice killed me and I wondered why wasn't he getting closer to me . Why wasn't he allowing himself to shout in my face? Closer to me . "Just like you did before!"

"That never happened . " I was shaking my head and looking at him like he lost his mind . I was about to laugh at his unnecessary seriousness .

"Oh?" His perfect lips traced the letter 'o' perfectly as he took a step closer to me . "So he wasn't the one who manipulated you into abducting me, was he?" His eyes were looking at me differently . He was looking at me like he wanted to reveal some dirty, underlying truth . "He wasn't the one who told you to kiss me, run your fingers in my hair and walk away, was he?" His voice was low and husky .

And I thought my heart wasn't in its right place . Because I kept feeling it everywhere . In my temples, neck and ears . And then I realized that my jaw wasn't in its place too . I remembered touching it, trying to find it because there was a problem . I couldn't talk . And then I wondered that -no, maybe my tongue was paralyzed or, no, maybe I've been hit in the head . Because looking in his accusing eyes, I didn't know what to say . There was nothing to say .

"What you did to me was vile and cruel, Samantha . " His voice was low and soft and he was impossibly close to me despite the considerable distance between us . I was even imagining his hot breath next to my ears, on my neck . But I lifted my head and he wasn't even slightly close .

I gulped and collected the remaining pieces of my shameful-self from the ground . "I don't care . "

"You wouldn't do that!" He almost lost it at those three lying words I uttered . "If it weren't for your brother, you wouldn't do that . I'd bet my life on it!" His voice was rough and I knew it took him his all not to yell and crack the walls with his bare fists .

"You don't know me," was what I said, still drowning in shame .

"You haven't the slightest idea how much I know you . " His voice was suddenly calm and deep . "And I know you wouldn't have done that because you know-" He stopped to catch my burning eyes . They were burning in shame and guilt . "-you know, what it means to get your heart broken to smithereens by hope . " He looked tired . Like it was physically painful to spill all those words . And maybe, it was for him .

"I would want to hurt you," I said nevertheless .
"You haven't the slightest idea how much I know you . " His voice was suddenly calm and deep . "And I know you wouldn't have done that because you know-" He stopped to catch my burning eyes . They were burning in shame and guilt . "-you know, what it means to get your heart broken to smithereens by hope . " He looked tired . Like it was physically painful to spill all those words . And maybe, it was for him .

"I would want to hurt you," I said nevertheless .

"You keep denying this . " He was breathing hard again . "Who are you protecting?! Why?" He exploded as he shook his head and more hair strands fell over his eyes . His teeth were bared and his frame shook with rage . I was so shocked to see him capable of showing so much emotion . Even if it was anger .

But he daren't step closer to me .

"You don't understand, do you?" I found myself saying quietly . "You're a murderer in my eyes no matter what you do . "

"This isn't about me . " He stressed on each word angrily . He then c.o.c.ked back his head, looked at the ceiling as I observed his Adam apples move . I let my eyes trail down his neck to where his sharp collar bones were tucked under his jacket . His head then slowly came down and I continued watching him . "This isn't about me," he repeated sadly . His eyebrows were drawn up and his eyes were raw with emotion . "I'd hate it to see you lose yourself to all this . You don't belong here . You shouldn't be doing this . "

"You think I'm incapab-?"

"Dammit, this isn't about abilities, Samantha!" His voice was harsh again and his ocean-green eyes ice, ice cold . "This is about a darkness you've never known of . A darkness that will consume you, the moment you open your arms for it!" He was shaking his head, looking down, trying to explain . "Ask me about it! I'd know . I'd know so much . I'd know . " His eyebrows were tugged down with concern as he stared into my eyes . He was pleading me to do the impossible . Believe him .

"Of course you'd know," I grimaced . "You're a murderer! I know you! I know who you really are!"

His raised eyebrows dropped low as his eyes darkened and narrowed . "You know nothing about me . " His voice was flat . Lifeless . "Love, this darkness you seem to be welcoming made me a nothing . A repet.i.tive, dead joke . A good book with no readers . A silent letter . A tree with no leaves . A laughter with no sound . " He was smiling despite the weight his words carried . I was staring at him say such things so casually and flatly . Like he'd made terms with it a long time ago . "You don't know what you're talking about . You'll never know me, love . " He was looking down and frowning . "You shouldn't know me . " He finished with a soft, disappointed sigh as he stepped back and raised his head .

He looked at me through his hair and I had to gulp back tears that made their way out of their glands . I was crying because he was right . I looked at him and saw a stranger of the man I loved . I never really knew him .

"I have to go," I breathed .

Because it was just too much for me . Seeing him transform from someone I thought I could always rely on to someone I barely knew . I was seeing him transform to something scary . Something monstrous . And I had to go because I couldn't help the tears over his hopeless case .

Julius's eyes snapped up to mine . They were completely shut off . A dull, empty green . He then nodded slowly with a subtle shrug . "Go . " His voice was unwavering .

"I will," I said as I dug my nails in my palms to stop myself from crying . "I will be back to deliver my condolences over your dead father . "

He looked at me, expressionless before shrugging again . "He will not come . "

And then I remember pressing a fake, irritating smile . But nothing moved in him . Not an eyebrow . He didn't even blink as he stared more at me . And I couldn't read him no matter what . I couldn't read his posture . His eyes . Or face . He was just staring at me .

Maybe I'd finally pushed him to his wits ends .

I then walked past him and toward the door as I felt his unfaltering gaze on my back .

"Cinderella . "

My heart skipped a whisperous beat at his voice .

I then raised my eyebrows and turned to face him again . He was holding yesterday's red pumps from their heels in both his hands in front of him . And he was looking at them . And I realized that that was why his hands were behind his back all that time . They held my pumps . He slowly averted his gaze to me and I felt my heart gallop in my chest . I looked at the pumps, then back at his emeralds with parted lips .

I then hesitantly made my way to him with clenched fists . He was watching me approach him, his eyes trained all over my body . I felt my knees weaken as the distance decreased . When I was close enough, I dropped my gaze to the pumps .

I held them from the front part- the top line- and was about to pull them away when I felt him tighten his hold around the heels . He wasn't letting go . I looked at him and was on the verge of freaking out at his proximity .

I just had to breathe .

So I did as his eyes locked mine in place . They were unreadable but stormy . "I will not allow your stubbornness to be the reason why you lose yourself . " His voice was uneven with the emotion it tried concealing . "Do you follow me?" He then pulled the heels toward himself with so much force, that I staggered toward him . I had to close my eyes to steady myself because he was even closer now . I was looking down and holding my breath . "Because if you do, I swear to you and to all the blazing stars in the universe, I will not stop at anything to watch Maxime bleed to death . " His voice carried so much venom and hatred, I almost felt sick .

I then easily snapped my neck up and studied his resolute features . His neck was red and taut as I watched him lick his lower lip quickly . "Your brother's life is in the palm of your hands . " His face inched closer to mine and I couldn't help but watch his wet lips whisper those words .

He then let go of the heels and I stood staring at him dumbly . He looked satisfied with himself as he took several steps away from me .

"Come on, Cinderella . " He mocked, waving a hand in front of him . "Maxime's waiting to be impressed . So go, be a good doll and carry his gun in your little pocket . Be a good sissy and fulfil his wishes . " He looked so disappointed in me saying this to the extent that I felt my heart plummet relentlessly to the depths of my soul . "All of course," he added with a smile playing on his lips that his fingers brushed . "-in the name of Leonard's departed soul . " He then shoved his hands in his pants' pockets .

I heard myself inhale sharply at his choice of words . I blinked rapidly, tightened my hold around my heels, did not say a thing, turned around and walked out with the little dignity I had left . Alexanders POV . I was beyond turbulent . My son . My sorry, so sorry son managed to do it again . Managed to repeat the same d.a.m.n blunder . He managed to fall in love . I clutched my bedsheets and glared at my dead phone . I could not comprehend how stupid he possibly got . I could not believe how he ruined everything . Of course, I knew . I knew about his d.a.m.ned abduction . And of course, I knew how it happened . I had warned him that Id had him watched over . And I was beyond displeased at his idiocy when Simon -one of my men- reported seeing him kiss a girl and fall to the ground before getting dragged to a van . Simon had followed them and knew where exactly they were taking my son . He then claimed that he saw the dead boys brother- which I figured was Maxime . Simon obviously recognized Maxime because he was the one who got what was needed done . Simon was the one who shot Leonard in the neck . It didnt take me long to connect the dots . It had turned out that my son didnt only fall in love . Hed fallen in love with our foes sister . What a commendable plot twist . And after realizing that, everything made sense . For instance, why he was too afraid to get the d.a.m.ned doc.u.ments on his own . He was scared to hurt the b.l.o.o.d.y girl by harming her brothers . He didnt want it to come from his side . He didnt want himself to blame . So he decided to throw it all on me . And I believed . All for the sake of protecting those doc.u.ments from his ignorant self . He couldnt know what was in them because he was too d.a.m.n reckless and thoughtless . He would ruin everything I worked on for all those years since the death of his mother- Miguel . He shouldnt see his mothers will . He shouldnt think anything except for what I allow him to think . He shouldnt because he wouldnt understand . Theres a reason why I had to threaten him by the thought of enjailing him . Because theres a more pressing reason as to why our motto is Kill for Gorj . He didnt really kill for Gorj . He killed for more than Gorj . More than he would ever imagine . For a much more n.o.ble purpose . Gorj isnt merely an advertising company . No . Thats just a disguise . But thats another story for another time . And thats actually the secret Id mentioned before . Naturally, Julius isnt allowed to know because secrecy is a priority in what we actually do . No one should know anything except for people who worked with me and understood the enormity of this . Loyal and understanding people like Philip . You couldnt have possibly thought that he worked out of his will for all those years . And I was desperate . Desperate that until today I couldnt get the doc.u.ments in my hands . And all I could imagine was what would happen if the doc.u.ments fell in the wrong hands . If it got out to the public . The connections people, especially our enemies, would make would be detrimental . And if Julius got to know what they carried, he might as well respond like an enemy . He would not be forgiving for living by force was all I taught him . Youd wonder why I didnt work on a good father-son bond and the answer is quite obvious . I wanted him to be completely and emotionally independent . He shouldnt for a wavering moment develop any sympathies . So that even if my life had to be the price Gorj paid for some reason, Julius shouldnt hesitate to kill me . He would have to do it . Kill his own father that is . But Id clearly failed at that part . I couldnt mitigate his emotions . The boy had a much bigger heart than I had antic.i.p.ated . And he seemed to always, stubbornly recover everytime he paid the price with it . He would never exterminate his d.a.m.ned heart . So all I managed to do was try to make him believe that he was nothing but a filthy, hypocrite murderer . I tried to make him believe that he was incapable of emotion . I tried to weave it in his soul . I wanted to make doubt his life companion . I wanted him to doubt any emotion hed ever welcome . I wanted him to constantly remind himself of who he is before venturing into anything . I also wanted pretence to be his fear . I wanted him to fear the fact that he could be pretending emotion, not actually feeling it . Being harsh on him was only a must . Scars, bullet shots, killing his love in front of his eyes was only to make him stronger . To try to kill his enduring heart . I wanted to feel his heartburn, but hear it come beating emptily back from ashes . I wanted him to morph into an invincible being . So witnessing him slip again was disappointing and infuriating . Julius had lived my life and I said that before . He had lived it well . He learnt quickly, observed well, was incredibly tolerant and had a great gift of reading peoples emotions from their facial and body expressions . His abilities were invaluable . And I discovered those long before involving him in Gorj . I will not deny, whatsoever, that other reasons as to why I let Julius into this, was my undying love to Augustus and my utter hatred toward Miguel for forcing me to take care of him until he was twenty . Blimey, she threatened me before she died as if she knew of my disloyalty . She said that shed have people sent to check on her sons well-being every now and then . She said shed take Julius and her company away from me and hand them over to her brother if I werent careful . She said that all my profit should be channelled only into Julius . She wanted him to study abroad and achieve greatness . It was her last wish . But she hadnt had the slightest clue about the plans I had for Gorj . And I was too deep in my plans to back out then . I needed the company- which left me a helpless, vulnerable, malleable Julius to take care of . And that was how it all started . And now? I had to do something before it was too late . I wouldnt go and save Julius just now . I wanted him to suffer the consequences for a while . I wanted him to learn a lesson or two . I wanted him to pay with his heart again . One last time . Maybe itd finally expire then . I put my phone on the bed next to me and took a deep breath only to have my rooms door slammed open by Augustus . I sat up alertly and gaped at his dishevelled appearance . Messy, almost-white hair, wide, blue eyes with dark circles beneath them, unshaven face and parted dark-red lips . He stood tall and handsome in black pants and an unb.u.t.toned white, b.u.t.ton-up s.h.i.+rt with a hand tightly curled around the doors k.n.o.b, his neck taut and his breathing heavy . His antic.i.p.ating facial expression turned into a slight scowl as he studied me . And I felt my heart clench at the way he looked at me . He never looked at me like this . What couldve happened? I raised my eyebrows and his hand dropped from the doork.n.o.b before he placed it on his hips and ran the other one through his hair while exhaling loudly . Okay . Okay . This isnt funny anymore, was what he said, hand still caught in his hair and brilliant blue eyes narrowed at me . I pinched my nose at the accusing tone he used . Pardon? This isnt funny anymore! He repeated breathily, dropping his hand from his hair so that he held his hips with both his hands . I looked at him confusedly . Why he seemed utterly provoked was beyond my understanding . I dont understand you, son . You dont, huh? He narrowed his eyes, even more, his voice thick and strangled . Dad, Im not as daft as I used to be! I frowned at his frantic state and c.o.c.ked my head a little . Is there something wro- Yes! Of course, he exploded . Of course theres something wrong . There always is! Augustus, I stated firmly, s.h.i.+fting on the bed . What are you getting on? His toned chest heaved with every breath he took as he clenched his jaws, shut his eyes and raised his right hand to rub his temples . Alright . Alright . Where is- uh- where is Julius? His question was posthaste but managed to linger bitterly in the air between us . My eyes widened and he dropped his hand from his temples to openly stare at me . Julius? I thought my heart died a little . --- Samanthas POV . You look absolutely exquisite today, love . My breath caught in my trachea as the lights above me brightened . I squinted then quickly turned my back to the stages platform to find him standing behind me . My eyes quickly travelled down his length . He stood straight and tall . Barefoot and dominant . His now b.u.t.toned pants were rolled up a bit beyond his ankles and he wore his black leather jacket on his bare chest . It was open and did little to hide the valleys and depths of his faultless body . His hands were hidden behind his back . And when I looked up at his face, his dark red lips were curved in an obnoxiously perfect smile and his black hair was ta.s.selled randomly, yet appealingly . He looked scary . His forests for eyes devoured me shamelessly as his smile widened and his eyes crinkled . I had to clear my throat and frown despite the heat that slapped the back of my neck and all the way up to my cheeks . And you look repugnant . I found myself telling him . He lowered his head, grinned, looked up and caught my eyes . His smile faltered and then there was a moment of silence when I stared into the depths of his unwavering, emeralds . I immediately looked away, not allowing myself to be captivated by their beauty and intensity again . Youre here to finally free me, I hope? His voice was strong, his face serious and momentarily smile-free, and his eyes sharp with the thoughts they carried as weapons . I smirked at his confidence . No . No? He was trying not to roll his eyes as he feigned confusion and caged the anger that he thought was invisible to me . Why? Planning to keep me as your pet? Lock me up, feed me and watch me grow an inch every day? He raised his eyebrows at me and I shrugged . Maybe, I teased as he made no effort to hide his irritation . Like it or not, were keeping you hostage . Hostage? He said it like it was an insult, his face contorted and his head tilted at an odd angle . Are you being absolutely serious, love? Are you being serious, serious? He s.h.i.+fted his weight from one leg to the other, his hands still behind his back . He was breathing faster . I could tell from the chaotic movement of his chest . I was angering him . I raised my eyebrows subtly at him . We want your father . And well get to him through you . Julius gaped at me for a while, processing what I said before he raised his eyebrows and let out a hard, forced laugh . You really cannot be serious . I shrugged at him as I watched his mouth form unspoken words . He then shut his eyes, shook his head and smiled . Im afraid, youll be disappointed, I said with a fake sigh . You have no idea what youre doing . His voice was clipped and his eyes were unkind when they snapped open . Im satisfying myself, I said coolly, daring to look into his death-cold eyes . At what? He frowned deeply as the corner of his upper lip lifted itself . At the cost of my freedom? My time? Your time? I scoffed as I watched him slowly regain his composure . And am I supposed to care? My voice was mocking . I mean, by keeping you here, Im saving lives . What does time mean to a cruel thing? To a thing that wears the smell of blood and cadavers as perfume? He drew back his eyebrows subtly as I noticed a flicker of some emotion flit into and out of his suddenly distant eyes . He then closed his eyes, snapped them open and stared into mine . And you seem to be particularly oblivious . His voice was breathy and harsh . Or you choose to be absolutely idiotic about ignoring the very obvious, he continued, with his lips hardly moving . -that youre within less than ten feet of a murderer . What makes you think that I wouldnt want your blood as perfume too? My breath hitched at the thought as I gaped more at him . Ive been stinking for a couple of days, love . Your blood would be very appetizing . And he was being absolutely serious saying this . He wasnt smiling . His lips were pulled in a thin line and his eyes were waiting to be challenged . Waiting for a win . His once casual stance was threatening as dangerous, lethal energy buzzed around him . I was almost terrified . I thought I was incapable of talking . I then noticed him take a step back as his shoulders relaxed and his face neutralized . I want to go . Im sorry, was all I managed to utter . His face screwed up . You dont understand . His voice was dangerously low . You cant possibly think its that simple . Whats not simple about this? I tried maintaining a steady voice as I clasped my shaky hands in front of me . And he seemed to notice because his eyes dropped down to glance at them . I immediately unclasped them and hid them behind my back . Like he did with his hands . He looked up, glanced at my eyes, clenched his jaws, looked away, exhaled shakily then sighed . My father will never show up . Well see, I said bitterly . He closed his eyes and inhaled sharply . If he doesnt show up, he said . -Im leaving . That returns to us, I said referring to Maxime as his eyes opened and widened with renewed interest . Us? He caricatured . You mean you and your pathetic excuse of a brother? He then smirked as a few hair strands managed to fall over his left eye . I clenched my fists behind my back and furrowed my eyebrows . He had absolutely no right to insult my own brother in front of me . He was belittling me and underestimating my reaction . But being angry wasnt something that came naturally to me . So I decided to take a deep, calming breath and tilt my head . Dont you dare call him that . I shall call him what I see him as, darling . His voice was strong and confident . Im not your darling . I scowled and he seemed to ignore me . And hes not your brother . I was surprised by the sharpness in his voice and the storms raging under his irises . I almost believed him . What do yo- How can he be a brother if he encourages you to get blood on your hands, dammit? He asked me . Can you possibly be that naive, Samantha? And suddenly he sounded so sincere . Suddenly, I felt that his eyes were actually reaching out for me, not insulting me . He used my name . He thought you killed his own brother! I said hotly, defending Maxime . Well, Ill be G.o.dd.a.m.ned! His voice was louder than normal and I could see that it was taking him loads of energy to keep himself from las.h.i.+ng out . And I thought- I never saw Julius ever angry . Why didnt he come and finish me off himself? I bet hed have the time of his life . Julius was getting on a point, I couldnt grasp yet . Maxime is not a murderer! I fought back and Julius actually leaned back a bit with frozen fury painting his features . And you are? His nose flared and his face reddened from all the rage that kept building up right beneath his skin . I could feel it radiating off him in waves . Of course not, I said defensively . Im not a murderer . Of course youre not, he said, shaking his head vigorously . But you were a finger pull away from becoming one . Your brother, my love, he panted . -manipulated you . I frowned at the nonsense he was saying . Maxime would never be in the right mind to do this . I mean, Leonard was just killed . In front of him . Manipulated me? I screwed my face at him angrily . How dare you accus- Maxime is a murderer, darling, he said as if proud of this indictment . He is no better than me . He might be even worse . And presently you might be manipulating me! I found my voice miraculously as I ignored Juliuss accusations . He was just blathering anything . Julius looked taken aback by my statement before his lips curled into a sneer . You know Id never do that . Samantha . The sincerity in his voice and eyes caught me off guard and left me wondering . Was he even worth listening to? Ive no way of knowing . My voice was harsh and I wanted it to be . You manipulated me when I was blind . You manipulated my innocence and made me believe that you were someone worth caring for . Forgot already? Didnt know that memory loss came as a side effect of murder . Juliuss rising figure faltered . He looked me in the eyes like I said something he didnt want to hear . Something forbade for him . I manipulated you? His voice was barely a whisper . Youve no ide- He then stopped himself, closed his eyes, touched his fingers to his lips, and s.h.i.+fted a bit . His eyes snapped open and I was surprised to see the stories in them . Stories he immediately decided to hide in the shelves of his bright, emerald irises . His soft eyes hardened and I wondered how he did that almost unnoticeably . He is a murderer- I then thought . Murder is all about deceit and being smart about choosing what to show . Youre right . He then said solidly, nodding as I noticed his throat move . I manipulated you . He said with effort and I raised my eyebrows surprisedly . He just seemed so offended a few seconds ago . You were beautifully naive . And my murderer instincts got automatically activated . He stated with eyes so blank, giving me no way of understanding him . I grimaced . But my heart kept nagging me . I didnt believe what he said . But I shouldve . And I realized Julius was right . I needed to stop being naive . Long story short, Julius then said, shutting his eyes wearily . Maxime is mentally disturbed . Hes tryi- A psychopath has no right to insult others . I managed to slip in, but he ignored me . Hes trying to replace you with Leonard . He emphasized more, looking down . Hes trying to get you to be his partner in crime . Because hes lunatic . h.e.l.l only see you as Leonard . Ive dealt with his likes befo- Sounds to me that youre describing yours- He then looked up, his lips parted as I noticed the heavy movement of his bare chest, the tautness in his neck and his exasperated facial expression . You are not listening to me! He then exploded and I almost gasped at the actual concern that lingered in his features for longer than hed normally allow . And I wondered if he could control that too . I wondered so many things . Your brother is planning on getting your hands dirty . Because hes psychotic! And Im scared youd succ.u.mb to his theatrics and pathological lying . And I know you will! Im not stupid . I started slowly and realized that my reply meant that I mightve believed him . I found myself looking for theories in my mind to prove him right . You will fall for it . The intensity in his voice killed me and I wondered why wasnt he getting closer to me . Why wasnt he allowing himself to shout in my face? Closer to me . Just like you did before! That never happened . I was shaking my head and looking at him like he lost his mind . I was about to laugh at his unnecessary seriousness . Oh? His perfect lips traced the letter o perfectly as he took a step closer to me . So he wasnt the one who manipulated you into abducting me, was he? His eyes were looking at me differently . He was looking at me like he wanted to reveal some dirty, underlying truth . He wasnt the one who told you to kiss me, run your fingers in my hair and walk away, was he? His voice was low and husky . And I thought my heart wasnt in its right place . Because I kept feeling it everywhere . In my temples, neck and ears . And then I realized that my jaw wasnt in its place too . I remembered touching it, trying to find it because there was a problem . I couldnt talk . And then I wondered that -no, maybe my tongue was paralyzed or, no, maybe Ive been hit in the head . Because looking in his accusing eyes, I didnt know what to say . There was nothing to say . What you did to me was vile and cruel, Samantha . His voice was low and soft and he was impossibly close to me despite the considerable distance between us . I was even imagining his hot breath next to my ears, on my neck . But I lifted my head and he wasnt even slightly close . I gulped and collected the remaining pieces of my shameful-self from the ground . I dont care . You wouldnt do that! He almost lost it at those three lying words I uttered . If it werent for your brother, you wouldnt do that . Id bet my life on it! His voice was rough and I knew it took him his all not to yell and crack the walls with his bare fists . You dont know me, was what I said, still drowning in shame . You havent the slightest idea how much I know you . His voice was suddenly calm and deep . And I know you wouldnt have done that because you know- He stopped to catch my burning eyes . They were burning in shame and guilt . -you know, what it means to get your heart broken to smithereens by hope . He looked tired . Like it was physically painful to spill all those words . And maybe, it was for him . I would want to hurt you, I said nevertheless . You keep denying this . He was breathing hard again . Who are you protecting?! Why? He exploded as he shook his head and more hair strands fell over his eyes . His teeth were bared and his frame shook with rage . I was so shocked to see him capable of showing so much emotion . Even if it was anger . But he darent step closer to me . You dont understand, do you? I found myself saying quietly . Youre a murderer in my eyes no matter what you do . This isnt about me . He stressed on each word angrily . He then c.o.c.ked back his head, looked at the ceiling as I observed his Adam apples move . I let my eyes trail down his neck to where his sharp collar bones were tucked under his jacket . His head then slowly came down and I continued watching him . This isnt about me, he repeated sadly . His eyebrows were drawn up and his eyes were raw with emotion . Id hate it to see you lose yourself to all this . You dont belong here . You shouldnt be doing this . You think Im incapab-? Dammit, this isnt about abilities, Samantha! His voice was harsh again and his ocean-green eyes ice, ice cold . This is about a darkness youve never known of . A darkness that will consume you, the moment you open your arms for it! He was shaking his head, looking down, trying to explain . Ask me about it! Id know . Id know so much . Id know . His eyebrows were tugged down with concern as he stared into my eyes . He was pleading me to do the impossible . Believe him . Of course youd know, I grimaced . Youre a murderer! I know you! I know who you really are! His raised eyebrows dropped low as his eyes darkened and narrowed . You know nothing about me . His voice was flat . Lifeless . Love, this darkness you seem to be welcoming made me a nothing . A repet.i.tive, dead joke . A good book with no readers . A silent letter . A tree with no leaves . A laughter with no sound . He was smiling despite the weight his words carried . I was staring at him say such things so casually and flatly . Like hed made terms with it a long time ago . You dont know what youre talking about . Youll never know me, love . He was looking down and frowning . You shouldnt know me . He finished with a soft, disappointed sigh as he stepped back and raised his head . He looked at me through his hair and I had to gulp back tears that made their way out of their glands . I was crying because he was right . I looked at him and saw a stranger of the man I loved . I never really knew him . I have to go, I breathed . Because it was just too much for me . Seeing him transform from someone I thought I could always rely on to someone I barely knew . I was seeing him transform to something scary . Something monstrous . And I had to go because I couldnt help the tears over his hopeless case . Juliuss eyes snapped up to mine . They were completely shut off . A dull, empty green . He then nodded slowly with a subtle shrug . Go . His voice was unwavering . I will, I said as I dug my nails in my palms to stop myself from crying . I will be back to deliver my condolences over your dead father . He looked at me, expressionless before shrugging again . He will not come . And then I remember pressing a fake, irritating smile . But nothing moved in him . Not an eyebrow . He didnt even blink as he stared more at me . And I couldnt read him no matter what . I couldnt read his posture . His eyes . Or face . He was just staring at me . Maybe Id finally pushed him to his wits ends . I then walked past him and toward the door as I felt his unfaltering gaze on my back . Cinderella . My heart skipped a whisperous beat at his voice . I then raised my eyebrows and turned to face him again . He was holding yesterdays red pumps from their heels in both his hands in front of him . And he was looking at them . And I realized that that was why his hands were behind his back all that time . They held my pumps . He slowly averted his gaze to me and I felt my heart gallop in my chest . I looked at the pumps, then back at his emeralds with parted lips . I then hesitantly made my way to him with clenched fists . He was watching me approach him, his eyes trained all over my body . I felt my knees weaken as the distance decreased . When I was close enough, I dropped my gaze to the pumps . I held them from the front part- the top line- and was about to pull them away when I felt him tighten his hold around the heels . He wasnt letting go . I looked at him and was on the verge of freaking out at his proximity . I just had to breathe . So I did as his eyes locked mine in place . They were unreadable but stormy . I will not allow your stubbornness to be the reason why you lose yourself . His voice was uneven with the emotion it tried concealing . Do you follow me? He then pulled the heels toward himself with so much force, that I staggered toward him . I had to close my eyes to steady myself because he was even closer now . I was looking down and holding my breath . Because if you do, I swear to you and to all the blazing stars in the universe, I will not stop at anything to watch Maxime bleed to death . His voice carried so much venom and hatred, I almost felt sick . I then easily snapped my neck up and studied his resolute features . His neck was red and taut as I watched him lick his lower lip quickly . Your brothers life is in the palm of your hands . His face inched closer to mine and I couldnt help but watch his wet lips whisper those words . He then let go of the heels and I stood staring at him dumbly . He looked satisfied with himself as he took several steps away from me . Come on, Cinderella . He mocked, waving a hand in front of him . Maximes waiting to be impressed . So go, be a good doll and carry his gun in your little pocket . Be a good sissy and fulfil his wishes . He looked so disappointed in me saying this to the extent that I felt my heart plummet relentlessly to the depths of my soul . All of course, he added with a smile playing on his lips that his fingers brushed . -in the name of Leonards departed soul . He then shoved his hands in his pants pockets . I heard myself inhale sharply at his choice of words . I blinked rapidly, tightened my hold around my heels, did not say a thing, turned around and walked out with the little dignity I had left .

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About Julius Caesar Chapter 48 novel

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