A Fool's Paradise Part 1

A Fool's Paradise.

by Sydney Grundy.

NECESSARY PROPERTIES.

ACT I.--On R. table: China Bowl, books in case, newspapers, photo views, three letters and newspaper through post. Book on sofa.

_Ready:_ Tennis ball to throw on from between C. doors and R.W. Tennis bat for Kate R.U.E. _Hand Properties:_ Basket of cut flowers for Kate.

Work bag containing b.a.l.l.s of wool and needles, and an apple, for Mildred. Snuff box for Sir Peter.

ACT II.--Water bottle and gla.s.s, magazine, and Punch, on L. table.

Fire lighted. The hearth should be a solid sheet of slate for gla.s.s to break easily. Bell rope on flat, R. of opening R.C., bell pull on flat L., below fire-place. _Ready:_ Medicine bottle and gla.s.s, L.D. _Hand Properties:_ Water can (no water) for Kate. Two certificates of marriage, and one of death for Sir Peter. Cigarettes in case for Normantower.

ACT III.--Clear chair from back of table, and water bottle. Lighted lamp on piano. Ditto on pedestal in conservatory L.C. Small ditto on table, L.C. _Ready_ R.U.D.: Six cups of coffee on salver, sugar and milk on small salver. _Ready_ L.D.: Medicine bottle, wine gla.s.s and poison phial. Flower pot to smash on stone, R.U.E. Alarm bell to ring R.U.E. Large lock to work, R.U.E. _Hand Properties:_ Book for Sir Peter. Snuff box for Sir Peter.

A FOOL'S PARADISE.

ACT I.

SCENE.--_The Hall of an old-fas.h.i.+oned Country House with staircase.

Door C. Entrance, L. Door, R. Windows at back, looking into grounds.

Letters on table. Gong._

_TOM and MILDRED discovered together. MILDRED on sofa, L.C., TOM on foot-stool at her feet R. of her. She has some work in her hand, and a ball of wool in a satchel. [Note for TOM.--Before curtain rises, tie wool to b.u.t.ton on waistcoat, and see the wool is free to "payout" for business.]_

TOM. Come, Mildred dear, say "Yes."

MIL. But I can't say "Yes."

TOM. You might help a fellow a bit. I never proposed to anybody before, and I daresay I've done it very badly----

MIL. No, Tom, you've done it very well.

TOM. (_rises and sits beside her, arm round her waist_) Say "Yes,"

then. Of course, I'm not good enough for a girl like you. But I may be some day. My brother Ned's a confirmed bachelor, and it's just on the cards I may be the next Earl of Normantower.

MIL. Yes, Tom, that's just it. I'm not fit to be a Countess.

TOM. Not fit to be a Countess? Why, some of 'em are awful.

MIL. My brother wouldn't hear of it, I'm sure.

TOM. Well, then, you shan't be a Countess. A confirmed bachelor's always the first to get married; and if Ned has a family, I shan't come in for the t.i.tle. You wouldn't mind being Mrs. Verinder, would you?

MIL. Oh, Tom! I know ought to say I should, but I shouldn't.

TOM. (_half embracing her_) Say "Yes," then.

MIL. Someone's coming! (_TOM runs to opposite side of the stage and sits L. of table. She works; he pretends to read a book on table_)

_Enter KATE DERWENT from grounds, C. from R., with a basket of flowers._

KATE. Well, children! (_comes down, puts basket of flowers on back of table, R.C., and goes down to C._)

TOM. (_aside_) Children!

KATE. Why aren't you out of doors this beautiful morning?

MIL. Oh, I wanted to finish this slipper.

KATE. (_catching sight of the thread of wool, the end of which has got entangled on TOM'S b.u.t.ton and which stretches across the stage, connecting the two_) Really? And you, Mr. Verinder?

TOM. I? I was reading Hiawatha.

KATE. You don't say so! (_picking up the thread and drawing them together_) Now, how dare you tell me such stories? (_breaks the thread, throws it to MILDRED, crosses TOM to R. of table and fills a vase with flowers from her basket_)

TOM. It's no use trying to deceive you, Miss Derwent. I've been making love to Mildred.

KATE. Making love at ten o'clock in the morning? I'm ashamed of you.

It's almost as bad as playing cards by daylight.

TOM. (C.) I want her to marry me and she won't! She says my family's too good for her--as if anything could be too good for Mildred! I'm sure the Verinders are poor enough. As for me, she forgets my father was cut off with a s.h.i.+lling, and blew'd the lot?

KATE. (R.C.) Blew'd the lot.

MIL. Tom means, his father spent it. (_C.L. of TOM_)

KATE. Spent the s.h.i.+lling?

TOM. Every penny of it. Oh, we're a reckless lot, we Verinders!

_PHILIP SELWYN enters C. from L., he places his stick in stand L. of C. door, hat on small table up R.C., and goes slowly down to fire-place, R._

MIL. And why was he cut off with the s.h.i.+lling?

TOM. Because he married the girl he wanted; instead of a girl he didn't want; and his son's going to do the same. (_placing his arm round her and taking her down to L.C._)

KATE. Ah, Mr. Verinder! Marriage is a serious responsibility. (_goes to C., basket in hand_)

TOM. It's serious when you marry the wrong person, but I'm going to marry the right one.

KATE. Yes, but who is the right one?

PHIL. Surely, the right one is the one we love. (_sits, opening letters, in arm-chair R. of table_)

TOM. (_advances to C._) _You_ think so, Mr. Selwyn? (_turns to MILDRED, who sits on R. arm of sofa, searches in her work bag and finds an apple which he eats_)

KATE. (_sits R.C._) Because you have been fortunate in your choice, but how many have made a mistake! Even love matches are often unfortunate. Love has a habit of being so one-sided. (_filling a bowl on table, with flowers_)