More Portmanteau Plays - LightNovelsOnl.com
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NATHANIEL
By the right of blood and understanding.
JOHN
Blood and understanding? Where were you when Emily had to leave her husband and brought her boy into my home? Where were you when Emily died? I took Emily in and I took her boy in. As head of the family it was my duty to do so and as head of the family it is my duty to see that the boy is brought up in the best traditions of the family.
NATHANIEL
John, you can't force this boy into a mold.
JOHN
A boy of fourteen doesn't know his mind.... Do _you_ know what Jonathan wants to be?
NATHANIEL
Yes, a writer of plays, a theatre director, and an actor.
JOHN
Imagine!... And I suppose you encouraged him.
NATHANIEL
No, but I didn't discourage him. The selection was wide enough for him to find some lasting life work.
JOHN
He never told me he wanted to be an actor.
NATHANIEL
Oh, my brother, every growing boy has a deep secret wish that he cannot bring himself to disclose! As you know, I always wanted to be a writer, but most of all I wanted to be a left-handed base ball pitcher. And although I'm irretrievably right handed I used to practice--religiously--pitching with my left hand.
JOHN
That was juvenile foolishness.
NATHANIEL
Yes, but it was genuine.
[_John starts to speak._
What am I now? I am going to tell you, John--by and by. First, we must dispose of the boy.
JOHN
I shall decide about the boy.
NATHANIEL
No, John; the boy must decide for himself.
JOHN
He'd decide to be an actor.
NATHANIEL
If he did, what of it?
JOHN
I want members of my family to do useful work.
NATHANIEL
What _is_ useful work? An actor serves his purpose just as a plumber or lawyer serves his.... The only difference is that all of us are not plumbers or lawyers while all of us _are_ actors. Yes, John, we're all playing something--you are playing at head of the family, I'm--
JOHN
Still I do not regard acting as a worth-while or lucrative profession.
NATHANIEL
You never know, John.... Five generations ago the Clays were respectable carpenters. They weren't wealthy and they gave no promise of becoming wealthy. Then suddenly our revered ancestor became a successful maker of cypress drain pipes--sewer pipes, I think we used to call them! The family fortunes were founded!! Our ancestor bought a high hat and the esteem of his neighbors. Cypress was in time replaced by pottery. Conduits for wires and terra cotta building materials were added to our achievements and then in your regime superfine sewers became a specialty.
JOHN
Every kind of concrete work!
NATHANIEL
I beg your pardon! Concrete sewers and other concrete things.--Such is the foundation of the family.
JOHN
You are evidently ashamed of our business.
NATHANIEL
Not at all, but I cannot consider the manufacturing of sewers a greater achievement than acting.
JOHN
Nathaniel, are you an actor?
