The Humbugs of the World Part 22

"The 'Independent' yesterday had a leader of a column and a half about it."

"Well, Beecher is no better," said Bennett. "They're all a.s.ses. But what did he say about it?"

"Oh, he rather indorsed it."

"Well, I'll read the article," said Bennett. "And perhaps I'll have an article written ridiculing Beecher."

"It will make a very good handle against the radicals," said the other.

"Oh, I don't know," said Bennett. "Let them marry together, if they want to, with all my heart."

For some days, the "Herald" said nothing about it, but the occasion of the departure of a colored regiment from New York City having called forth a flattering address to them from the ladies of the "Loyal League," the "Herald," saw a chance to make a point against Mr. Charles King and others; and the next day it contained a terrific article, introducing miscegenation in the most violent and offensive manner, and saying that the ladies of the "Loyal League" had offered to marry the colored soldiers on their return! After that, the "Herald" kept up a regular fusillade against the supposed miscegenic proclivities of the Republicans. And thus, after all, Bennett swallowed the "critter"

horns, hoofs, tail, and all.

The authors even had the impudence to attempt to entrap Mr. Lincoln into an indors.e.m.e.nt of the work, and asked permission to dedicate a new work, on a kindred subject, "Melaleukation," to him. Honest Old Abe however, who can see a joke, was not to be taken in so easily.

About the time the book was first published, Miss Anne E. d.i.c.kinson happened to lecture in New York. The authors here exhibited a great degree of acuteness and tact, as well as sublime impudence, in seizing the opportunity to have some small hand bills, with the endors.e.m.e.nt of the book, printed and distributed by boys among the audience. Before Miss d.i.c.kinson appeared, therefore, the audience were gravely reading the miscegenation handbill; and the reporters, noticing it, coupled the facts in their reports. From this, it went forth, and was widely circulated, that Miss d.i.c.kinson was the author!

Dr. Mackay, the correspondent of the "London Times," in New York, was very decidedly sold, and hurled all manner of big words against the doctrine in his letters to "The Thunderer;" and thus "the leading paper of Europe" was, for the hundredth time during the American Rebellion, decidedly taken in and done for.

The "Sat.u.r.day Review"--perhaps the cleverest and certainly the sauciest of the English hebdomadals--also berated the book and its authors in the most pompous language at its command. Indeed, the "Westminster Review"

seriously refers to the arguments of the book in connection with Dr.

Broca's pamphlet on Human Hybridity, a most profound work.

"Miscegenation" was republished in England by Trubner & Co.; and very extensive translations from it are still pa.s.sing the rounds of the French and German papers.

Thus pa.s.ses into history one of the most impudent as well as ingenious literary hoaxes of the present day. There is probably not a newspaper in the country but has printed much about it; and enough of extracts might be collected from various journals upon the subject to fill my whale-tank.

It is needless to say that the book pa.s.sed through several editions. Of course, the ma.s.s of the intelligent American people rejected the doctrines of the work, and looked upon it either as a political dodge, or as the ravings of some crazy man; but the authors have the satisfaction of knowing that it achieved a notoriety which has hardly been equalled by any mere pamphlet ever published in this country.

VII. GHOSTS AND WITCHCRAFTS.

CHAPTER. x.x.xIV.

HAUNTED HOUSES.--A NIGHT SPENT ALONE WITH A GHOST.--KIRBY, THE ACTOR.--COLT'S PISTOLS VERSUS HOBGOBLINS.--THE MYSTERY EXPLAINED.

A great many persons believe more or less in haunted houses. In almost every community there is some building that has had a mysterious history. This is true in all countries, and among all races and nations.

Indeed it is to this very fact that the ingenious author of the "Twenty-seventh-street Ghost" may attribute his success in creating such an excitement. In fact, I will say, "under the rose," he predicted his hopes of success entirely upon this weakness in human nature. Even in "this day and age of the world" there are hundreds of deserted buildings which are looked upon with awe, or terror, or superst.i.tious interest.

They have frightened their former inhabitants away, and left the buildings in the almost undisputed possession of real moles, bats, and owls, and imaginary goblins and sprites.

In the course of my travels in both hemispheres I have been amazed at the great number of such cases that have come under my personal observation.

But for the present, I will give a brief account of a haunted house in Yorks.h.i.+re, England, in which some twenty years ago, Kirby, the actor, who formerly played at the Chatham Theatre, pa.s.sed a pretty strange night. I met Mr. Kirby in London in 1844, and I will give, in nearly his own language, a history of his lone night in this haunted house, as he gave it to me within a week after its occurrence. I will add, that I saw no reason to doubt Mr. Kirby's veracity, and he a.s.sured me upon his honor that the statement was literally true to the letter. Having myself been through several similar places in the daytime, I felt a peculiar interest in the subject, and hence I have a vivid recollection of nearly the exact words in which he related his singular nocturnal adventure.

One thing is certain: Kirby was not the man to be afraid of trying such an experiment.

"I had heard wonderful stories about this house," said Mr. Kirby to me, "and I was very glad to get a chance to enter it, although, I confess, the next morning I was about as glad to get out of it."

"It was an old country-seat--a solid stone mansion which had long borne the reputation of a haunted house. It was watched only by one man. He was the old gardener,--an ancient servant of the family that once lived there, and a person in whom the family reposed implicit confidence.

"Having had some inkling of this wonderful place, and having a few days to spare before going to London to fulfil an engagement at the Surry Theatre, I thought I would probe this haunted-house story to the bottom.

I therefore called on the old gardener who had charge of the place, and introduced myself as an American traveller desirous of spending a night with his ghosts. The old man seemed to be about seventy-five or eighty years of age. I met him at the gate of the estate, where he kept guard.

He told me, when I applied, that it was a dangerous spot to enter, but I could pa.s.s it if I pleased. I should, however, have to return by the same door, if I ever came back again.

"Wis.h.i.+ng to make sure of the job, I gave him a sovereign, and asked him to give me all the privileges of the establishment; and if his bill amounted to more, I would settle it when I returned. He looked at me with an expression of doubt and apprehension, as much as to say that he neither understood what I was going to do nor what was likely to happen.

He merely remarked:

"'You can go in.'

"'Will you go with me, and show me the road?'

"'I will.'

"'Go ahead.'

"We entered. The gate closed. I suddenly turned on my man, the old gardener and custodian of the place, and said to him:

"'Now, my patriarchal friend, I am going to sift this humbug to the bottom, even if I stay here forty nights in succession; and I am prepared to lay all "spirits" that present themselves; but if you will save me all trouble in the matter and frankly explain to me the whole affair, I will never mention it to your injury, and I will present you with ten golden sovereigns.'

"The old fellow looked astonished; but he smirked, and whimpered, and trembled, and said:

"'I am afraid to do that; but I will warn you against going too far.'

"When we had crossed a courtyard, he rang a bell, and several strange noises were distinctly heard. I was introduced to the establishment through a well-constructed archway, which led to a large stairway, from which we proceeded to a great door, which opened into a very large room.

It was a library. The old custodian had carried a torch (and I was prepared with a box of matches.) He was acting evidently 'on the square,' and I sat myself down in the library, where he told me that I should soon see positive evidence that this was a haunted house.

"Not being a very firm believer in the doctrine of houses really haunted, I proposed to keep a pretty good hold of my match-box, and lest there should be any doubt about it, I had also provided myself with two sperm candles, which I kept in my pocket, so I should not be left too suddenly and too long in the dark.

"'Now Sir,' said he, 'I wish you to hold all your nerves steady and keep your courage up, because I intend to stand by you as well as I can, but I never come into this house alone.'

"'Well, what is the matter with the house?'

"'Oh! everything, Sir!'

"'What?'

"'Well, when I was much younger than I am now, the master of this estate got frightened here by some mysterious appearances, noises, sounds, etc., and he preferred to leave the place.'

"'Why?'

"'He had a tradition from his grandfather, and pretty well kept alive in the family, that it was a haunted house; and he let out the estate to the smaller farmers of the neighborhood, and quit the premises, and never returned again, except one night, and after that one night he left. We suppose he is dead. Now, Sir, if you wish to spend the night here as you have requested, what may happen to you I don't know; but I tell you it is a haunted house, and I would not sleep here to-night for all the wealth of the Bank of England!'

"This did not deter me in the least, and having the means of self-protection around me, and plenty of lucifer matches, etc., I thought I would explore this mystery and see whether a humbug which had terrified the proprietors of that magnificent house in the midst of a magnificent estate, for upward of sixty years, could not be explored and exploded. That it was a humbug, I had no doubt; that I would find it out, I was not so certain.