The Humbugs of the World Part 20

VI. HOAXES.

CHAPTER x.x.xI.

THE TWENTY-SEVENTH STREET GHOST.--SPIRITS ON THE RAMPAGE.

In cla.s.sing the ghost excitement that agitated our good people to such an extent some two years ago among the "humbugs" of the age, I must, at the outset, remind my readers that there was no little acc.u.mulation of what is termed "respectable" testimony, as to the reality of his ghosts.h.i.+p in Twenty-seventh street.

One fine Sunday morning, in the early part of 1863, my friends of the "Sunday Mercury" astonished their many thousands of patrons with an account that had been brought to them of a fearful spectre that had made its appearance in one of the best houses in Twenty-seventh Street. The narrative was detailed with circ.u.mstantial accuracy, and yet with an apparent discreet reserve, that gave the finis.h.i.+ng touch of delightful mystery to the story.

The circ.u.mstances, as set forth in the opening letter (for many others followed) were briefly these:--A highly respectable family residing on Twenty-seventh Street, one of our handsome up-town thoroughfares, became aware, toward the close of the year 1862, that something extraordinary was taking place in their house, then one of the best in the neighborhood. Sundry mutterings and whisperings began to be heard among the servants employed about the domicile, and, after a little while it became almost impossible to induce them to remain there for love or money. The visitors of the family soon began to notice that their calls, which formerly were so welcome, particularly among the young people of the establishment, seemed to give embarra.s.sment, and that the smiles that greeted them, as early as seven in the evening gradually gave place to uneasy gestures, and, finally to positive hints at the lateness of the hour, or the fatigue of their host by nine o'clock.

The head of the family was a plain, matter-of-fact old gentleman, by no means likely to give way to any superst.i.tious terrors--one of your hard-headed business men who pooh-poohed demons, hobgoblins, and all other kinds of spirits, except the purest Santa Cruz and genuine old Otard; and he fell into a great rage, when upon his repeated gruff demands for an explanation, he was delicately informed that his parlor was "haunted." He vowed that somebody wanted to drive him from the house; that there was a conspiracy afoot among the women to get him still higher up town, and into a bigger brown-stone front, and refused to believe one word of the ghost-story. At length, one day, while sitting in his "growlery," as the ladies called it, in the lower story, his attention was aroused by a clatter on the stairs, and looking out into the entry he saw a party of carpenters and painters who had been employed upon the parlor-floor, beating a precipitate retreat toward the front door.

"Stop!--stop! you infernal fools! What's all this hullabaloo about?"

shouted the old gentleman.

No reply--no halt upon the part of the mechanics, but away they went down the steps and along the street, as though Satan himself, or Moseby the guerrilla, was at their heels. They were pursued and ordered back, but absolutely refused to come, swearing that they had seen the Evil One, in _propria persona_; and threats, persuasions, and bribes alike proved vain to induce them to return. This made the matter look serious, and a family-council was held forthwith. It wouldn't do to let matters go on in this way, and something must be thought of as a remedy. It was in this half-solemn and half-tragic conclave that the pater-familias was at last put in possession of the mysterious occurrences that had been disturbing the peace of his domestic hearth.

A ghost had been repeatedly seen in his best drawing-room!--a genuine, undeniable, unmitigated ghost!

The spectre was described by the female members of the family as making his appearance at all hours, chiefly, however in the evening, of course.

Now the good old orthodox idea of a ghost is, of a very long, cadaverous, ghastly personage, of either s.e.x, appearing in white draperies, with uplifted finger, and attended or preceded by sepulchral sounds--whist! hus.h.!.+ and sometimes the rattling of cas.e.m.e.nts and the jingling of chains. A bluish glare and a strong smell of brimstone seldom failed to enhance the horror of the scene. This ghost, however, came it seems, in more ordinary guise, but none the less terrible for his natural style of approach and costume. He was usually seen in the front parlor, which was on the second story and faced the street. There he would be found seated in a chair near the fire place, his attire the garb of a carman or "carter" and hence the name "Carter's Ghost"

afterward frequently applied to him. There he would sit entirely unmoved by the approach of living denizens of the house, who, at first, would suppose that he was some drunken or insane intruder, and only discover their mistake as they drew near, and saw the fire-light s.h.i.+ning through him, and notice the glare of his frightful eyes, which threatened all comers in a most unearthly way. Such was the purport of the first sketch that appeared in the "Sunday Mercury," stated so distinctly and impressively that the effect could not fail to be tremendous among our sensational public. To help the matter, another brief notice, to the same effect, appeared in the Sunday issue of a leading journal on the same morning. The news dealers and street-carriers caught up the novelty instanter, and before noon not a copy of the "Sunday Mercury" could be bought in any direction. The country issue of the "Sunday Mercury" had still a larger sale.

On Sunday morning, every sheet in town made some allusion to the Ghost, and many even went so far as to give the very (supposed) number of the house favored with his visitations. The result of this enterprising guess was ludicrous enough, bordering a little, too, upon the serious.

Indignant house-holders rushed down to the "Sunday Mercury" office with the most amusing wrath, threatening and denouncing the astonished publishers with all sorts of legal action for their presumed trespa.s.s, when in reality, their paper had designated no place or person at all.

But the grandest demonstration of popular excitement was revealed in Twenty-seventh street itself. Before noon a considerable portion of the thoroughfare below Sixth Avenue was blocked up with a dense ma.s.s of people of all ages, sizes, s.e.xes, and nationalities, who had come "to see the Ghost." A liquor store or two, near by, drove a splendid "spiritual" business; and by evening "the fun" grew so "fast and furious" that a whole squad of police had to be employed to keep the side-walks and even the carriage-way clear. The "Ghost" was shouted for to make a speech, like any other new celebrity, and old ladies and gentlemen peering out of upper-story windows were saluted with playful tokens of regard, such as turnips, eggs of ancient date, and other things too numerous to mention, from the crowd. Nor was the throng composed entirely of Gothamites. The surrounding country sent in its contingent. They came on foot, on horseback, in wagons, and arrayed in all the costumes known about these parts, since the days of Rip Van Winkle. Cruikshanks would have made a fortune from his easy sketches of only a few figures in the scene. And thus the concourse continued for days together, arriving at early morn and staying there in the street until "dewy eve."

As a matter of course, there were various explanations of the story propounded by various people--all wondrously wise in their own conceit.

Some would have it that "the Ghost" was got up by some of the neighbors, who wished, in this manner, to drive away disreputable occupants; others insisted that it was the revenge of an ousted tenant, etc., etc.

Everybody offered his own theory, and, as is usual, in such cases, n.o.body was exactly right.

Meanwhile, the "Sunday Mercury" continued its publications of the further progress of the "mystery," from week to week, for a s.p.a.ce of nearly two months, until the whole country seemed to have gone ghost-mad. Apparitions and goblins dire were seen in Was.h.i.+ngton, Rochester, Albany, Montreal, and other cities.

The spiritualists took it up and began to discuss "the Carter Ghost"

with the utmost zeal. One startling individual--a physician and a philosopher--emerged from his professional sh.e.l.l into full-fledged glory, as the greatest canard of all, and published revelations of his own intermediate intercourse with the terrific "Carter." In every nook and corner of the land, tremendous posters, in white and yellow, broke out upon the walls and windows of news-depots, with capitals a foot long, and exclamation-points like drumsticks, announcing fresh installments of the "Ghost" story, and it was a regular fight between go-ahead vendors who should get the next batch of horrors in advance of his rivals.

Nor was the effect abroad the least feature of this stupendous "sell."

The English, French, and German press translated some of the articles in epitome, and wrote grave commentaries thereon. The stage soon caught the blaze; and Professor Pepper, at the Royal Polytechnic Inst.i.tute, in London, invented a most ingenious device for producing ghosts which should walk about upon the stage in such a perfectly-astounding manner as to throw poor Hamlet's father and the evil genius of Brutus quite into the "shade." "Pepper's Ghost" soon crossed the Atlantic, and all our theatres were speedily alive with nocturnal apparitions. The only real ghosts, however--four in number--came out at the Museum, in an appropriate drama, which had an immense run--"all for twenty-five cents," or only six and a quarter cents per ghost!

But I must not forget to say that, really, the details given in the "Sunday Mercury" were well calculated to lead captive a large cla.s.s of minds p.r.o.ne to luxuriate in the marvelous when well mixed with plausible reasoning. The most circ.u.mstantial accounts were given of sundry "gifted young ladies," "grave and learned professors," "reliable gentlemen"--where are those not found?--"lonely watchers," and others, who had sought interviews with the "ghost," to their own great enlightenment, indeed, but, likewise, complete discomfiture. Pistols were fired at him, pianos played and songs sung for him, and, finally, his daguerreotype taken on prepared metallic plates set upright in the haunted room. One shrewd artist brought out an "exact photographic likeness" of the distinguished stranger on cartes de visite, and made immense sales. The apparitions, too, multiplied. An old man, a woman, and a child made their appearance in the house of wonders, and, at last, a gory head with distended eyeb.a.l.l.s, swimming in a sea of blood, upon a platter--like that of Holofernes--capped the climax.

Certain wiseacres here began to see political allusions in the Ghost, and many actually took the whole affair to be a cunningly devised political satire upon this or that party, according as their sympathies swayed them.

It would have been a remarkable portion of "this strange, eventful history," of course, if "Barnum" could have escaped the accusation of being its progenitor.

I was continually beset, and frequently, when more than usually busy, thoroughly annoyed by the innuendoes of my visitors, that I was the father of "the Ghost."

"Come, now, Mr. Barnum--this is going a little too far!" some good old dame or grandfather would say to me. "You oughtn't to scare people in this way. These ghosts are ugly customers!"

"My dear Sir," or "Madam," I would say, as the case might be, "I do a.s.sure you I know nothing whatever about the Ghost"--and as for "spirits," you know I never touch them, and have been preaching against them nearly all my life."

"Well! well! you will have the last turn," they'd retort, as they edged away; "but you needn't tell us. We guess we've found the ghost."

Now, all I can add about this strange hallucination is, that those who came to me to see the original "Carter," really saw the "Elephant."

The wonderful apparition disappeared, at length, as suddenly as he had come. The "Bull's-Eye Brigade," as the squad of police put on duty to watch the neighborhood, for various reasons, was termed, hung to their work, and flashed the light of their lanterns into the faces of lonely couples, for some time afterward; but quiet, at length, settled down over all: and it has been it seems, reserved for my pen to record briefly the history of "The Twenty-seventh street Ghost."

CHAPTER x.x.xII.

THE MOON-HOAX.

The most stupendous scientific imposition upon the public that the generation with which we are numbered has known, was the so-called "Moon-Hoax," published in the columns of the "New York Sun," in the months of August and September, 1835. The sensation created by this immense imposture, not only throughout the United States, but in every part of the civilized world, and the consummate ability with which it was written, will render it interesting so long as our language shall endure; and, indeed, astronomical science has actually been indebted to it for many most valuable hints--a circ.u.mstance that gives the production a still higher claim to immortality.

At the period when the wonderful "yarn" to which I allude first appeared, the science of astronomy was engaging particular attention, and all works on the subject were eagerly bought up and studied by immense ma.s.ses of people. The real discoveries of the younger Herschel, whose fame seemed destined to eclipse that of the elder sage of the same name, and the eloquent startling works of Dr. d.i.c.k, which the Harpers were republis.h.i.+ng, in popular form, from the English edition, did much to increase and keep up this peculiar mania of the time, until the whole community at last were literally occupied with but little else than "star-gazing." d.i.c.k's works on "The Sidereal Heavens," "Celestial Scenery," "The improvement of Society," etc., were read with the utmost avidity by rich and poor, old and young, in season and out of season.

They were quoted in the parlor, at the table, on the promenade, at church, and even in the bedroom, until it absolutely seemed as though the whole community had "d.i.c.k" upon the brain. To the highly educated and imaginative portion of our good Gothamite population, the Doctor's glowing periods, full of the grandest speculations as to the starry worlds around us, their wondrous magnificence and ever-varying aspects of beauty and happiness were inexpressibly fascinating. The author's well-reasoned conjectures as to the majesty and beauty of their landscapes, the fertility and diversity of their soil, and the exalted intelligence and comeliness of their inhabitants, found hosts of believers; and nothing else formed the staple of conversation, until the beaux and belles, and dealers in small talk generally, began to grumble, and openly express their wishes that the d.i.c.kens had Doctor d.i.c.k and all his works.

It was at the very height of the furor above mentioned, that one morning the readers of the "Sun"--at that time only twenty-five hundred in number--were thrilled with the announcement in its columns of certain "Great Astronomical Discoveries Lately Made by Sir John Herschel, LL.D., F.R.S. etc., at the Cape of Good Hope," purporting to be a republication from a Supplement to the Edinburgh Journal of Science. The heading of the article was striking enough, yet was far from conveying any adequate idea of its contents. When the latter became known, the excitement went beyond all bounds, and grew until the "Sun" office was positively besieged with crowds of people of the very first cla.s.s, vehemently applying for copies of the issue containing the wonderful details.

As the pamphlet form in which the narrative was subsequently published is now out of print, and a copy can hardly be had in the country, I will recall a few pa.s.sages from a rare edition, for the gratification of my friends who have never seen the original. Indeed, the whole story is altogether too good to be lost; and it is a great pity that we can not have a handsome reprint of it given to the world from time to time. It is constantly in demand; and, during the year 1859, a single copy of sixty pages, sold at the auction of Mr. Haswell's library, brought the sum of $3,75. In that same year, a correspondent, in Wisconsin, writing to the "Sunday Times" of this city, inquired where the book could be procured, and was answered that he could find it at the old bookstore, No. 85 Centre Street, if anywhere. Thus, after a search of many weeks, the Western bibliopole succeeded in obtaining a well-thumbed specimen of the precious work. Acting upon this chance suggestion, Mr. William Gowans, of this city, during the same year, brought out a very neat edition, in paper covers, ill.u.s.trated with a view of the moon, as seen through Lord Rosse's grand telescope, in 1856. But this, too, has all been sold; and the most indefatigable book-collector might find it difficult to purchase a single copy at the present time. I, therefore, render the inquiring reader no slight service in culling for him some of the flowers from this curious astronomical garden.

The opening of the narrative was in the highest Review style; and the majestic, yet subdued, dignity of its periods, at once claimed respectful attention; while its perfect candor, and its wealth of accurate scientific detail exacted the homage of belief from all but cross-grained and inexorable skeptics.

It commences thus:

"In this unusual addition to our Journal, we have the happiness to make known to the British public, and thence to the whole civilized world, recent discoveries in Astronomy, which will build an imperishable monument to the age in which we live, and confer upon the present generation of the human race a proud distinction through all future time. It has been poetically said, that the stars of heaven are the hereditary regalia of man, as the intellectual sovereign of the animal creation. He may now fold the Zodiac around him with a loftier consciousness of his mental superiority," etc., etc.

The writer then eloquently descanted upon the sublime achievement by which man pierced the bounds that hemmed him in, and with sensations of awe approached the revelations of his own genius in the far-off heavens, and with intense dramatic effect described the younger Herschel surpa.s.sing all that his father had ever attained; and by some stupendous apparatus about to unvail the remotest mysteries of the sidereal s.p.a.ce, pausing for many hours ere the excess of his emotions would allow him to lift the vail from his own overwhelming success.

I must quote a line or two of this pa.s.sage, for it capped the climax of public curiosity:

"Well might he pause! He was about to become the sole depository of wondrous secrets which had been hid from the eyes of all men that had lived since the birth of time. He was about to crown himself with a diadem of knowledge which would give him a conscious preeminence above every individual of his species who then lived or who had lived in the generations that are pa.s.sed away. He paused ere he broke the seal of the casket that contained it."

Was not this introduction enough to stimulate the wonder b.u.mp of all the star-gazers, until

"Each particular hair did stand on end, Like quills upon the fretful porcupine?"

At all events, such was the effect, and it was impossible at first to supply the frantic demand, even of the city, not to mention the country readers.

I may very briefly sum up the outline of the discoveries alleged to have been made, in a few paragraphs, so as not to protract the suspense of my readers too long.