Studies in the Psychology of Sex Volume Iii Part 6

It is probable that all these structures serve to excite the s.e.xual apparatus of the female and to promote tumescence.

To the careless observer there may seem to be something vicious or perverted in such manifestations in man. That opinion becomes very doubtful when we consider how these tendencies occur in people living under natural conditions in widely separated parts of the world. It becomes still further untenable if we are justified in believing that the ancestors of men possessed projecting epithelial appendages attached to the p.e.n.i.s, and if we accept the discovery by Friedenthal of the rudiment of these appendages on the p.e.n.i.s of the human fetus at an early stage (Friedenthal, "Sonderformen der menschlichen Leibesbildung," s.e.xual-Probleme, Feb., 1912, p. 129). In this case human ingenuity would merely be seeking to supply an organ which nature has ceased to furnish, although it is still in some cases needed, especially among peoples whose apt.i.tude for erethism has remained at, or fallen to, a subhuman level.

At first sight the connection between love and pain-the tendency of men to delight in inflicting it and women in suffering it-seems strange and inexplicable. It seems amazing that a tender and even independent woman should maintain a pa.s.sionate attachment to a man who subjects her to physical and moral insults, and that a strong man, often intelligent, reasonable, and even kind-hearted, should desire to subject to such insults a woman whom he loves pa.s.sionately and who has given him every final proof of her own pa.s.sion. In understanding such cases we have to remember that it is only within limits that a woman really enjoys the pain, discomfort, or subjection to which she submits. A little pain which the man knows he can himself soothe, a little pain which the woman gladly accepts as the sign and forerunner of pleasure-this degree of pain comes within the normal limits of love and is rooted, as we have seen, in the experience of the race. But when it is carried beyond these limits, though it may still be tolerated because of the support it receives from its biological basis, it is no longer enjoyed. The natural note has been too violently struck, and the rhythm of love has ceased to be perfect. A woman may desire to be forced, to be roughly forced, to be ravished away beyond her own will. But all the time she only desires to be forced toward those things which are essentially and profoundly agreeable to her. A man who fails to realize this has made little progress in the art of love. "I like being knocked about and made to do things I don't want to do," a woman said, but she admitted, on being questioned, that she would not like to have much pain inflicted, and that she might not care to be made to do important things she did not want to do. The story of Griselda's unbounded submissiveness can scarcely be said to be psychologically right, though it has its artistic rightness as an elaborate fantasia on this theme justified by its conclusion.

This point is further ill.u.s.trated by the following pa.s.sage from a letter written by a lady: "Submission to the man's will is still, and always must be, the prelude to pleasure, and the a.s.sociation of ideas will probably always produce this much misunderstood instinct. Now, I find, indirectly from other women and directly from my own experience, that, when the point in dispute is very important and the man exerts his authority, the desire to get one's own way completely obliterates the s.e.xual feeling, while, conversely, in small things the s.e.xual feeling obliterates the desire to have one's own way. Where the two are nearly equal a conflict between them ensues, and I can stand aside and wonder which will get the best of it, though I encourage the s.e.xual feeling when possible, as, if the other conquers, it leaves a sense of great mental irritation and physical discomfort. A man should command in small things, as in nine cases out of ten this will produce excitement. He should advise in large matters, or he may find either that he is unable to enforce his orders or that he produces a feeling of dislike and annoyance he was far from intending. Women imagine men must be stronger than themselves to excite their pa.s.sion. I disagree. A pa.s.sionate man has the best chance, for in him the primitive instincts are strong. The wish to subdue the female is one of them, and in small things he will exert his authority to make her feel his power, while she knows that on a question of real importance she has a good chance of getting her own way by working on his greater susceptibility. Perhaps an ill.u.s.tration will show what I mean. I was listening to the band and a girl and her fiance came up to occupy two seats near me. The girl sank into one seat, but for some reason the man wished her to take the other. She refused. He repeated his order twice, the second time so peremptorily that she changed places, and I heard him say: 'I don't think you heard what I said. I don't expect to give an order three times.'

"This little scene interested me, and I afterward asked the girl the following questions:-

"'Had you any reason for taking one chair more than the other?'

"'No.'

"'Did Mr. --'s insistence on your changing give you any pleasure?'

"'Yes' (after a little hesitation).

"'Why?'

"'I don't know.'

"'Would it have done so if you had particularly wished to sit in that chair; if, for instance, you had had a boil on your cheek and wished to turn that side away from him?'

"'No; certainly not. The worry of thinking he was looking at it would have made me too cross to feel pleased.'

"Does this explain what I mean? The occasion, by the way, need not be really important, but, as in this imaginary case of the boil, if it seems important to the woman, irritation will outweigh the physical sensation."

I am well aware that in thus a.s.serting a certain tendency in women to delight in suffering pain-however careful and qualified the position I have taken-many estimable people will cry out that I am degrading a whole s.e.x and generally supporting the "subjection of women." But the day for academic discussion concerning the "subjection of women" has gone by. The tendency I have sought to make clear is too well established by the experience of normal and typical women-however numerous the exceptions may be-to be called in question. I would point out to those who would deprecate the influence of such facts in relation to social progress that nothing is gained by regarding women as simply men of smaller growth. They are not so; they have the laws of their own nature; their development must be along their own lines, and not along masculine lines. It is as true now as in Bacon's day that we only learn to command nature by obeying her. To ignore facts is to court disappointment in our measure of progress. The particular fact with which we have here come in contact is very vital and radical, and most subtle in its influence. It is foolish to ignore it; we must allow for its existence. We can neither attain a sane view of life nor a sane social legislation of life unless we possess a just and accurate knowledge of the fundamental instincts upon which life is built.

[61]

Various mammals, carried away by the reckless fury of the s.e.xual impulse, are apt to ill-treat their females (R. Muller, s.e.xualbiologie, p. 123). This treatment is, however, usually only an incident of courts.h.i.+p, the result of excess of ardor. "The chaffinches and saffron-finches (Fringella and Sycalis) are very rough wooers," says A. G. Butler (Zoologist, 1902, p. 241); "they sing vociferously, and chase their hens violently, knocking them over in their flight, pursuing and savagely pecking them even on the ground; but when once the hens become submissive, the males change their tactics, and become for the time model husbands, feeding their wives from their crop, and a.s.sisting in rearing the young."

[62]

Cf. A. C. Haddon, Head Hunters, p. 107.

[63]

Marro considers that there may be transference of emotion,-the impulse of violence generated in the male by his rivals being turned against his partner,-according to a tendency noted by Sully and ill.u.s.trated by Ribot in his Psychology of the Emotions, part i, chapter xii.

[64]

Several writers have found in the facts of primitive animal courts.h.i.+p the explanation of the connection between love and pain. Thus, Krafft-Ebing (Psychopathia s.e.xualis, English translation of tenth German edition, p. 80) briefly notes that outbreaks of sadism are possibly atavistic. Marro (La p.u.b.erta, 1898, p. 219 et seq.) has some suggestive pages on this subject. It would appear that this explanation was vaguely outlined by Jager. Laserre, in a Bordeaux thesis mentioned by Fere, has argued in the same sense. Fere (L'Instinct s.e.xuel, p. 134), on grounds that are scarcely sufficient, regards this explanation as merely a superficial a.n.a.logy. But it is certainly not a complete explanation.

[65]

Schafer (Jahrbucher fur Psychologie, Bd. ii, p. 128, and quoted by Krafft-Ebing in Psychopathia s.e.xualis), in connection with a case in which s.e.xual excitement was produced by the sight of battles or of paintings of them, remarks: "The pleasure of battle and murder is so predominantly an attribute of the male s.e.x throughout the animal kingdom that there can be no question about the close connection between this side of the masculine character and male s.e.xuality. I believe that I can show by observation that in men who are absolutely normal, mentally and physically, the first indefinite and incomprehensible precursors of s.e.xual excitement may be induced by reading exciting scenes of chase and war. These give rise to unconscious longings for a kind of satisfaction in warlike games (wrestling, etc.) which express the fundamental s.e.xual impulse to close and complete contact with a companion, with a secondary more or less clearly defined thought of conquest." Groos (Spiele der Menschen, 1899, p. 232) also thinks there is more or less truth in this suggestion of a subconscious s.e.xual element in the playful wrestling combats of boys. Freud considers (Drei Abhandlungen zur s.e.xualtheorie, p. 49) that the tendency to s.e.xual excitement through muscular activity in wrestling, etc., is one of the roots of sadism. I have been told of normal men who feel a conscious pleasure of this kind when lifted in games, as may happen, for instance, in football. It may be added that in some parts of the world the suitor has to throw the girl in a wrestling-bout in order to secure her hand.

[66]

A minor manifestation of this tendency, appearing even in quite normal and well-conditioned individuals, is the impulse among boys at and after p.u.b.erty to take pleasure in persecuting and hurting lower animals or their own young companions. Some youths display a diabolical enjoyment and ingenuity in torturing sensitive juniors, and even a boy who is otherwise kindly and considerate may find enjoyment in deliberately mutilating a frog. In some cases, in boys and youths who have no true s.a.d.i.s.tic impulse and are not usually cruel, this infliction of torture on a lower animal produces an erection, though not necessarily any pleasant s.e.xual sensations.

[67]

Marro, La p.u.b.erta, 1898, p. 223; Garnier, "La Criminalite Juvenile," Comptes-rendus Congres Internationale d'Anthropologie Criminelle, Amsterdam, 1901, p. 296; Archivio di Psichiatria, 1899, fasc. v-vi, p. 572.

[68]

Bk. ii, ch. ii.

[69]

Herbert Spencer, Principles of Sociology, 1876, vol. i, p. 651.

[70]

Westermarck, Human Marriage, p. 388. Grosse is of the same opinion; he considers also that the mock-capture is often an imitation, due to admiration, of real capture; he does not believe that the latter has ever been a form of marriage recognized by custom and law, but only "an occasional and punishable act of violence." (Die Formen der Familie, pp. 105-7.) This position is too extreme.

[71]

Ernest Crawley, The Mystic Rose, 1902, p. 350 et seq. Van Gennep rightly remarks that we cannot correctly say that the woman is abducted from "her s.e.x," but only from her "s.e.xual society."

[72]

A. Van Gennep (Rites de Pa.s.sage, 1909, pp. 175-186) has put forward a third theory, though also of a psychological character, according to which the "capture" is a rite indicating the separation of the young girl from the special societies of her childhood. Gennep regards this rite as one of a vast group of "rites of pa.s.sage," which come into action whenever a person changes his social or natural environment.

[73]

Fere (L'Instinct s.e.xuel, p. 133) appears to regard the satisfaction, based on the sentiment of personal power, which may be experienced in the suffering and subjection of a victim as an adequate explanation of the a.s.sociation of pain with love. This I can scarcely admit. It is a factor in the emotional att.i.tude, but when it only exists in the s.e.xual sphere it is reasonable to base this att.i.tude largely on the still more fundamental biological att.i.tude of the male toward the female in the process of courts.h.i.+p. Fere regards this biological element as merely a superficial a.n.a.logy, on the ground that an act of cruelty may become an equivalent of coitus. But a s.e.xual perversion is quite commonly const.i.tuted by the selection and magnification of a single moment in the normal s.e.xual process.

[74]

The process may, however, be quite conscious. Thus, a correspondent tells me that he not only finds s.e.xual pleasure in cruelty toward the woman he loves, but that he regards this as an essential element. He is convinced that it gives the woman pleasure, and that it is possible to distinguish by gesture, inflection of voice, etc., an hysterical, a.s.sumed, or imagined feeling of pain from real pain. He would not wish to give real pain, and would regard that as sadism.

[75]

De Sade had already made the same remark, while d.u.c.h.enne, of Boulogne, pointed out that the facial expressions of s.e.xual pa.s.sion and of cruelty are similar.

[76]

???pt?d?a, vol. vi, p. 208.

[77]

Daumas, Chevaux de Sahara, p. 49.

[78]

See in vol. iv of these Studies ("s.e.xual Selection in Man"), Appendix A, on "The Origins of the Kiss."

[79]

De Stendhal (De l'Amour) mentions that when in London he was on terms of friends.h.i.+p with an English actress who was the mistress of a wealthy colonel, but privately had another lover. One day the colonel arrived when the other man was present. "This gentleman has called about the pony I want to sell," said the actress. "I have come for a very different purpose," said the little man, and thus aroused a love which was beginning to languish.

[80]

See Havelock Ellis, Man and Woman, chapter vi, "The Senses."

[81]

This liability is emphasized by Adler, Die Mangelhafte Geschlechtsempfindung des Weibes, p. 125.

[82]

Zeitschrift fur Ethnologie, Bd. viii, 1876, pp. 22-28.

II.

The Definition of Sadism-De Sade-Masochism to some Extent Normal-Sacher-Masoch-No Real Line of Demarcation between Sadism and Masochism-Algolagnia includes both Groups of Manifestations-The Love-bite as a Bridge from Normal Phenomena to Algolagnia-The Fascination of Blood-The Most Extreme Perversions are Linked on to Normal Phenomena.