Caesar or Nothing Part 42

"Really?"

"I should think so."

"But you would have to live in Madrid."

"Certainly."

"Would you leave here?"

"Yes, why not?"

"Then, not another word, we will say no more about it. When the time comes, you will write to me and say: 'Don Calixto, the moment has arrived for you to remember your promise: I want to be a Deputy.'"

"Very good. I will do it, and you shall present me as candidate for Castro... Castro... what?"

"Castro Duro."

"You will see me there then."

"All right. And now, another favour. There is a Canon from Zamora here, a friend of mine, who came on the pilgrimage and who desires nothing so much as to see Saint Peter's and the Catacombs rather thoroughly. I could explain everything to him, but I am not sure about the dates. Will you come with us?"

"With great pleasure."

"Then we shall expect you here at ten."

"That will be fine."

Sure enough, at ten Caesar was there. Don Calixto and his friend the Canon Don Justo, who was a large gentleman, tall and fleshy and with a long nose, were waiting. The three got into the carriage.

"I hope this priest isn't going to be one of those library rats who know everything on earth," thought Caesar, but when he heard him make a couple of mistakes in grammar, he became tranquil.

_THEODORA AND MAROZIA_

As they pa.s.sed the Castel Sant' Angelo, Caesar began to tell the story of Theodora and her daughter Marozia, the two women who lived there and who, for forty odd years, changed the Popes as one changes cooks.

"You know the history of those women?" asked Caesar.

"I don't," said the Canon.

"Nor I," added Don Calixto.

"Then I will tell it to you before we get to Saint Peter's. Theodora, an influential lady, fell in love with a young priest of Ravenna, and had him elected Pope, by the name of John X. Her daughter Marozia, a young girl and a virgin, gave herself to Pope Sergius III, a capricious, fantastic man, who had once had the witty idea of digging up Pope Formosus and subjecting him, putrefied as he was, to the judgment of a Synod. By this eccentric man Marozia had a son, and afterwards was married three times more. She exercised an omnipotent sway over the Holy See. John X, her mother's lover, she deposed and sent to die in prison.

With his successor, Leo VI, whom she herself had appointed Pope, she did the same. The following Pope, Stephen VII, died of illness, twenty months after his reign began, and then Marozia gave the Papal crown to the son she had had by Sergius III, who took the name of John XI. This Pope and his brother Alberic, began to feel their mother's influence rather heavy, and during a popular revolt they decided to get Marozia into their power, and they seized her and buried her alive in the _in pace_ of a convent."

"But is all this authentic?" asked the Canon, completely stupefied.

"Absolutely authentic."

The Canon made a gesture of resignation and looked at Don Calixto in astonishment.

While Caesar was telling the story, the carriage had pa.s.sed down a narrow and rather deserted street, called Borgo Vecchio, in whose windows clothes were hanging out to dry, and then they came out in the Piazza di San Pietro. They drove around one edge of this enormous square. The sky was blue. A fountain was throwing water, which changed to a cloud in the air and produced a brilliant rainbow.

"One certainly wonders," said Caesar, "if Saint Peter's is not one of the buildings in the worst taste that exist in the world."

They got out in front of the steps.

"Your friend is probably well up on archeological matters?" asked Caesar.

"Who? Don Justo? Not in the least."

Caesar began to laugh, went up the steps ahead of the others, lifted the leather curtain, and they all three went into Saint Peter's. _THERE IS NO PERFORMANCE_

Caesar began his explanations with the plan of the church. The Canon pa.s.sed his hand over all the stones and kept saying:

"This is marble too," and adding, "How expensive!"

"Do you like this, Don Calixto?" Caesar asked.

"What a question, man!"

"Well, it is obviously very rich and very sumptuous, but it must give a fanatic coming here from far away the same feeling a person gets when he has a cold and asks for a hot drink and is given a gla.s.s of iced orgeat."

"Don't let Don Justo hear you," said Don Calixto, as if they ought to keep the secret about the orgeat between the two of them.

They came to the statue of Saint Peter, and Caesar told them it is the custom for strangers to kiss its foot. The Canon piously did so, but Don Calixto, who was somewhat uneasy, rubbed the statue's worn foot surrept.i.tiously with his handkerchief and then kissed it.

Caesar abstained from kissing it, because he said the kiss was efficacious princ.i.p.ally for strangers.

Then they went along, looking at the tombs of the Popes. Caesar was several times mistaken in his explanations, but his friends did not notice his mistakes.

The thing that surprised the Canon most was the tomb of Alexander VII, because there is a skeleton on it. Don Calixto stopped with most curiosity before the tomb of Paul III, on which one sees two nude women.

Caesar told them that popular legend claims that one of these statues, the one representing Justice, is Julia Farnese, sister of Pope Paul III, and mistress of Pope Alexander VI; but such a supposition seems unlikely.

"Entirely," insisted the Canon gravely; "those are things invented by the Free Thinkers."

Don Calixto allowed himself to say that most of the Popes looked like drum-majors.

Don Justo continued appraising everything he saw like a contractor.

Caesar devoted himself to retailing his observations to Don Calixto, while the Canon walked alone.

"I will inform you," he told him, "that on Sat.u.r.day one may go up in the dome, but only decently dressed people. So a placard on that door informs us. If by any chance an apostle should re-arise and have a fancy to do a little gymnastics and see Rome from a height, as he would probably be dirty and badly dressed, he would get left, they wouldn't let him go up. And then he could say: 'Invent a religion like the Christian religion, so that after a while they won't let you go up in the dome.'"

"Yes, certainly, certainly," replied Don Calixto. "They are absurd. But do not let the Canon hear you. To be sure, all this does not look very religious, but it is magnificent."

"Yes, it is a beautiful stage-setting, but there is no performance,"

said Caesar.

"What do you mean by that?" asked Don Calixto.