The American Credo - LightNovelsOnl.com
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--97
That awnings keep rooms cool.
--98
That it is very difficult to decipher a railroad time-table.
--99
That gamblers may always be identified by their habit of wearing large diamonds.
--100
That when a man embarks in a canoe with a girl, the chances are two to one that the girl will move around when the boat is in mid-stream and upset it.
--101
That German babies are brought up on beer in place of milk.
--102
That a man with two shots of cocaine in him could lick Jack Dempsey.
--103
That fully one half the repertoire of physical ailments is due to uric acid.
--104
That a woman, when buying a cravat for a man, always picks out one of green and purple with red polka-dots.
--105
That a negro's vote may always be readily bought for a dollar.
--106
That cripples always have very sunny dispositions.
--107
That if one drops a crust of bread into one's gla.s.s of champagne, one can drink indefinitely without getting drunk.
--108
That a bra.s.s band always makes one feel like marching.
--109
That, when shaving on a railway train, a man invariably cuts himself.
--110
That the male Spaniard is generally a handsome, flas.h.i.+ng-eyed fellow, possessed of fiery temper.
--111
That after drinking a gla.s.s of absinthe one has peculiar hallucinations and nightmares.
--112
That since the Indians were never bald, baldness comes from wearing tight hats.
--113
That all wine-agents are very loose men.
--114
That the editor of a woman's magazine is always a lizzie.
--115
That what is contained in the pitcher on the speakers' platform is always ice-water.
--116
That all Senators from Texas wear sombreros, chew tobacco, expectorate profusely, and frequently employ the word "maverick."
