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Yesterday by Feng Nong
While I'm in the hospital, even my parents didn't come visit me. I suppose they probably just don't know that I've been hospitalized. Blocking out the sky with one hand can also be considered one of the capabilities of Rong YuJiang. In the hospital, the only person that I can meet is He ShuTing, that's it. He ShuTing is a very nice guy, even putting on his big white gown when visiting me. Bringing some fruits as snacks, along with some interesting little stories. Although I don't have any appet.i.te, I would actually invariably finish off everything that he brings. Sometimes, when I look at his upbeat and optimistic nature, I long to tell him some secrets but I know that ZhouHeng and the rest would not leave one word of our conversation out of the report they pa.s.s on to YuJiang. Only then am I able to hold back.
I definitely must not be seen by others, therefore when my body took a turn for the better, YuJiang immediately ordered to have me brought back to Rong mansion. After all, it's Rong mansion that is the rightful prison. From now on, even having a faint hope for visits from He ShuTing seems outrageous. YuJiang sees me all gloomy and depressed by the window and asks:
"What's the matter? You look like you're not happy." I stay silent, moving backwards lazily, and curl up on the sofa. YuJiang is back to his old self, I think he will remain this way until the end of the world. Each time we shout and scream, I would think that he would change a little. More violent, or even more vicious, of maybe he would discover his conscience and let me fly high away beyond the highest heavens, that would be the best. A few times I see him become extremely frustrated with tears threatening to flow, other times I see him completely lose hope as if wis.h.i.+ng to finish me off. Who would expect that the very next day, he would again act as if nothing happened. Back to the tender and thoughtful person with his calm voice and calm temperament. Carrying on this way, it doesn't diminish my bad temper. I'm too lazy to quarrel, too lazy to speak. At times I feel that I have already died, only leaving a trapped soul wandering about Rong mansion. I pa.s.s a few days in a hazy daze when one day ZhouHeng knocks at the door saying:
"Mr. Huang, there is someone here to see you." Isn't it that I'm a prisoner that doesn't even have visiting rights? Who could have come to visit? I jump up fl.u.s.tered from my depression. A familiar figure beaming with happiness walks in, as if bringing the freedom along with him from outside.
"After going through layer upon layer of tests, I finally met the criteria to see you." He ShuTing is again carrying a bag of tangerines in his hand, and says smilingly: "Your bodyguards practically investigated all my data, as if they forgot they ever met me after leaving the hospital." Too lazy to get angry at these things, I ask:
"ShuTing, again it's tangerines, it's fine if you love to eat them, why do you have to always force me to eat them?" Even as I say this, I stretch my hand into the bag searching for one. It's really strange, this person who wasn't even considered my friend before, has now become a very important person. It's as if his existence represents the other side of my life, representing my former free and splendid life.
"Tangerines are rich in vitamins." Saying such is only fitting for a doctor, showing his knowledge in nutrition at every turn. He continues: "But also, your hand is so pale, it really sets off the red color of the tangerine." I'm shocked. My hand that was originally in the middle of peeling the tangerine stops suddenly, and I raise my head to look at him. He ShuTing meets my gaze and abruptly blushes, lowering his head. This type of situation always happened to the HuangSheng of before, with just a hook of the finger, causing others to blush with thumping hearts. Those days of rash and uninhibited times are no longer. My heart is in a complete mess, as if a small deer is rus.h.i.+ng around inside. I guess it's because I haven't tasted this type of self-satisfaction for such a long time that resulted in my stilted reaction. Two people sitting separated by a coffee table, both with heads bowed, not saying anything. No one wanted to break this awkward yet ambiguous silence.
After a while, He ShuTing jumps up from the sofa as if he was pierced by something:
"It's time for me to go." I look at him, a little disappointed. My disappointment is mixed with a little reluctance to part with him. I say:
"Alright, I won't be sending you off." I wanted to say see you next time, but I purse my lips and say nothing. He has no idea of my desperate situation, dim with no hope of escape. He knows nothing at all. He belongs to the world of brightness and freedom, with a boundless future. This is only a visit from an envoy, he can't bring me back to his kingdom.
"ShengSheng, goodbye." I bow my head, unwilling to meet his eyes.
"Goodbye, ShuTing." He walks over and grips my hand like an ordinary farewell. I suddenly feel something in the palm of my hand. Shocked, I raise my head at stare at ShuTing.
"I will come and see you again." He winks at me showing a seldom seen mischievous gleam in his eyes. I try not to change my expression while holding the thing in my hand tightly, nodding towards him. He ShuTing smiles and leaves. ZhouHeng is always on watch, I just don't dare to see what's in my hand. I waited until the evening bath time. I lie in the bathtub and fish out the carefully hidden thing. It's only a small sc.r.a.p of paper. But for me, able to escape the detection of the stifling watch of YuJiang's men, even though it is a sc.r.a.p of paper, it is something significant. On it are a few words, written in proper smooth and round letters ----------------- "Aware of your plight, need my help?" My heart beats like crazy. Help, help, this is the reinforcement dropped down from heaven. I can't help but wonder if this is YuJiang's crafty plot, but I am already in the middle of his palm, why would he need to make such a move? Even if it is a scheme of YuJiang, the most that can happen is that he ridicules and manipulates me one more time. If I waste this golden opportunity in vain to suspicions, then I would be a real fool.
My gloomy and devoid of brightness life is now taking a favorable turn, my heart is suddenly filled with strength and excitement, I want to scream it out. I never knew that hope could make people so crazy. I turn over the piece of paper again and again as if it is a decree that guarantees my life. I really want to keep it by my side, so that I can take it out and look at it when I lose hope, giving me a push of encouragement. But ultimately it is better for the sake of security that I destroy every trace of it. I originally wanted to flush it down the toilet but decided instead to chew it to pieces and swallow it down my throat. It is as if this will show my determination, making me worthy of He ShuTing's rescue.
At night, YuJiang lies by my side, and kisses my face.
"ShengSheng, tomorrow there will a gathering of the stockholders of Rong enterprise, are you coming?" I shake my head:
"No, I'm not well, I just don't feel like moving." Furthermore I don't know when He ShuTing will come again. I can't help but be grateful that YuJiang gave this chance to me, allowing He ShuTing to visit me. This good-hearted gesture, maybe it's because ShuTing is a doctor, so he can monitor my health at any time. YuJiang strokes my collarbone gently, and says with distress:
"You've lost so much weight, is it because the food is not to your liking? I must watch over you everyday from now on, I can't let you eat so little." These few days I have been coldly indifferent towards him, but listening to him worrying about me, today I suddenly feel a little touched. Thinking that I have the chance of escaping from YuJiang, my heart is not only excited but also sentimental. I can't help myself from saying:
"I like to eat pickled chinese cabbage with dried shrimp soup, if you make it for me yourself, I will eat a little more." YuJiang smiles gently:
"Then I will do it tomorrow. ShengSheng, your mood is very good today." I'm taken aback, and hate myself for revealing my true feelings. YuJiang is such a person that if you say one wrong word in front of him, you would lose your life. Why did I not learn a little of those business tricks that my dad taught me all those years? It's only now that I keenly realize how naive and simple I am. Just like someone that has not yet graduated from kindergarden. Not daring to speak carelessly again, I turn my back to YuJiang and pull the coverlet up to my chest. YuJiang seems to be very happy, moving close to hug me firmly from behind, falling into a sweet sleep.
In the eyes of others ~~~ it's just like ~~~ this and that, this and that ........ It's because after acting selfishly until all tired out, I happily fall asleep without being asked, letting other people keep me swimming in the pit ~~~