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Volume 1
Chapter 3-3 Part 3 And so, Sat.u.r.day. “Sorry to keep you waiting Aki-kun.” “…Yo.” Katou was about 3 minutes late arriving at our meeting place, but at the very least she had managed to show up. “Ah I’m so glad that the weather is all good today! I was worried since the forecast was a bit sketchy.” “Well, that’s good I guess.” Yesterday I had invited Katou over to my house. In the time that followed my sudden and profound invitation, Katou displayed, for only the briefest of seconds, a gesture of her hands touching her cheeks while in deep thought. However she immediately returned back to her ‘usual’ relaxed expression and gave me her response of “Sure, sounds good.” That little gesture was for me…actually no, was for just about anyone, an extraordinary achievement. Inviting a girl whom you’ve known for only about a week over to your place isn’t something an otaku would do. In normal circ.u.mstances, you would have first had to raise some sort of important flag and had some relational development occur… “Ooh, so your house is in this area. Did you know I sometimes happen to pa.s.s by here?” “Yeah I know.” “Oh, is that so? Ah now that I think about it, this is the place where my hat flew away.” “…Yeah.” Ah I had just realised…that the place we were meeting at was away from the convenience of public transportation; there wasn’t even a bus stop around here. “You look a bit tired Aki-kun. Were you up watching late night anime shows?” “Ah yeah. After watching them I went to deliver the morning papers. I only slept a little after I got back from my deliveries.” “Despite your outward appearance you’re actually a really hard worker Aki-kun. Although what you’re working hard for might be a little different I suppose, when compared to other people.” “….” I guess I had just slipped into the flow of it. Deliberately loading up my bicycle with a huge amount of newspapers for the morning delivery. “Your job really does seem tiring, doesn’t it?” “Yeah…it is if you’re jumping from one thing to another so suddenly.” “Are you alright? Maybe I should just head back for today?” “No, I’m fine. Let’s move on from me being tired for now…On the other hand Katou, those clothes of yours…” “Oh these? I bought them all as a single set last week. It’s been getting warmer lately, so I thought it’d be time for a change in seasonal clothing.” “Ah I see….” The light and warm colours of her cardigan and pants combined nicely as a full set. Looking at it all, it was definitely a most springlike outfit. Even though she was hanging out with someone like me, you could say her coming here normally dressed was a bit of a high point. However… “Hmm, do these clothes not suit me?” “No no, they look nice on you. They have an energetic feel about them, which is good don’t you think?” “Ah thanks. Now that I think about it, I agree with you there. These clothes are really easy to move in and I’m quite happy about that.” “Oh I see…how nice.” Oh right, that white one-piece of hers had been a winter outfit. I guess hoping for that much is a bit irrational on my part. Although, how should I put it, even if there were only a few fleeting memories of it… To not even have three of her flags broken during such a short conversation is just simply something else… “…Are you sure you’re alright Aki-kun?” “Yes I’m fine, you can stop asking me already. We should get going to my house now.” “Ah okay. Thanks for having me over.” “You can save that for when you’ve actually arrived at my house. There’s still ten minutes to go on foot and we need to go over that hill first.” “What? Your house is on top of the hill? Walking up there seems like a real pain.” Honestly, there’s no one better than this girl when it comes to freezing the blooming hearts of otaku. That’s why I was confident. Confident in the fact that no matter what would transpire today, I would not a.s.sault Katou. “Well we’re here now. The place is in a bit of mess, but please make yourself comfortable.” “Again thanks for having me over…woah, this is a perfect-picture of an otaku’s room.” “Ah, I sure wish I could be picture-perfect too.” “Being able to say such things so freely without sounding weird must be one of your virtues Aki-kun.” “Then I want to become even more virtuous and obtain the power of dakimakura materialisation!” “…Sorry, that was just a bit too weird.” I had already predicted to a certain extent where things were going to go but… Megumi Katou, despite having gone up into my room, was acting just like her usual self. For starters there were no signs of nervousness or tension at all: she wasn’t trying to strain herself by opening the window in my room while remarking ‘Oh it sure is hot in this room!’, nor was she mistakenly sitting down on my bed and hopping straight back off while saying ‘S-sorry!’, and she wasn’t trying to find things like my erotic mangas and adult videos while exclaiming ‘Now where are those treasures of yours?’ either. Actually there’s a mistake in that last part. “Anyway let’s just go kill some time for now with a dating sim. It’ll be 100% fine since there’s no eroge at all in this room.” “I’ve got no clue what you mean by ‘killing time for now’, or what you mean by things being ‘100% fine’.” This is why I can be myself, like how I usually am when I invite otaku friends over. If we’re gaming, we’ll be clearing the route of a single heroine. If we’re watching anime, we’ll be staying over until we finish an entire series. That’s right, these are the things we do when people come over to my house to play… “Today was really enjoyable. Feel free to invite me over again next time.” “Well, shall we go home then?” “This is why it’d be great if we were to gather more members together, Aki-kun. You’d think that even I would know that making a game requires a lot of people.” “But when it comes to PC dating sims, it’s not like that at all. The industry is small and you have games which are made by teams of just two or three people.” “But we’re talking about the right people for the right job here Aki-kun, even if we were to go for your preferred choices….” “Then let me ask you, Katou. Who do you think would be good for the job?” “Hmm let’s see, people who are big, who sweat even in winter and would never take off their bandanas, people who add ‘-dono’ to the end of people’s names when addressing them and use suffixes like ‘dao’ and ‘dufu’ and other words I don’t quite get and….” (1) “Well I guess I should be sorry then. That being said, are you alright with someone like that?” “Well, it’d be a bit uncomfortable but I guess it can’t be helped, can it? I mean I’ve heard that your dating sim industry is full of people like that.” “Sometimes I just can’t tell whether you’re being cruel or kind.” “Today was really enjoyable. Make sure to invite me next time. It’s a promise right?” “Well, shall we go home together then?” “Well Aki-kun, one of the more important elements is to first make sure whether or not we’re willing to go through with this right?” “Both willingness and ability are important. However when talking about these two elements, it is the latter which is more important. If we were to gather a mob of misfits together, what could we hope to accomplish?” “Even if you were to say that though….” “That being said, things such as appearance, personality and gender have nothing to do with making games. Only you, Katou, would choose people based on these standards.” “If we were to talk about judging people though, I kind of doubt that the people who don’t choose by those sorts standards would be above people like me, who do choose by those standards.” “By the way, you really don’t have any reaction to these kinds of lines in the game, do you?” “It’s just I feel that the pictures in this game are a bit old.” “That’s because it IS old. This game is a cla.s.sical masterpiece.” “It was a really tiring day.” “Well I’m heading home. Farewell.” “Anyway Aki-kun, Sawamura-san and Kasumigaoka-senpai are complete novices when it comes to anything related to otakus. It’s just impossible…right?” “When did you start thinking that they were novices?” “Eh? What do you mean?” “Katou, your perspective of them is too black and white.” “Wha-what is…?” “Oh, the choice you made just now was wrong.” “Eh, when did the dialogue in the game start changing?” “The present you chose dropped your affection level to minus 1.” “Huh?! Surely there’s nothing wrong with giving a girl an accessory right?!” “Please refrain from saying things that would devalue the worth of women.” “But since she’s just a game heroine, it should just be like that right?” “….” “Aki-kun?” “Alright. Time to stop the game for a bit. It’s now intermission and lecture time.” “The break is welcome, but why the lecture?” “Because, Katou, you have no understanding of what a dating sim heroine is! Those heroines might just be mere lines of code, but they aren’t just machines that give the same response over and over again if you press their b.u.t.tons! They’re warm and compa.s.sionate beings who ought to have a greater appeal than any real woman! And to top it off, you’re going to become a dating sim heroine, right? What are you going to do if you can’t even understand the core basics of a heroine!?” “…Aki-kun, could I at least make some tea first before becoming one?” “Hey, if we do this it won’t be cold right?” “Woah, how beautiful…a white Christmas.” “Anyway Aki-kun, I think that your fearlessness in this position is actually an advantage, so it really would be best if you chose someone like Sawamura-san.” “….” “But no matter how you look at it, it’s just not possible to persuade her. Aki-kun, you know what kind of person she is, right?” “….” “Aki-kun?” “Ah sorry. I was focused on the monitor.” “…Ah, I see.” “So, what were you talking about?” “I was talking about Sawamura-san. The second-year, Sawamura Eriri-san from Cla.s.s G.” “It’s Sawamura Spencer Eriri. There’s still her British surname.” “She’s the ace of the arts club, right? Last year after entering our school, she was chosen straight away for the city exhibition. Did you know that then her achievement became the talk of the school?” “Considering her abilities, being at that level is only natural.” “Huh? Anyway there are also rumours that her family is rich and her dad is a diplomat as well.” “While it’s true that her father is from England and is also a diplomat, what you’re envisaging, Katou, is probably something different.” “Eh? Anyway, despite her status, she’s very modest, kind and sincere to everyone. Because of this, she’s popular not only with students from our year, but our seniors as well. They also say that even the new students upon hearing these rumours, come up to her cla.s.s just to see her.” “Oh, that’s because her manner of hiding has been perfect since entering school.” “What? Um, Aki-kun?” “Hey, Katou.” “Huh, what is it?” “Did you know that the game you’re playing right now has various kinds of heroines in it?” “What’s with this all of a sudden?” “Literary types, scientific types, artistic types, sporty types, going-home types…there is a richness in variety.” “We-well there certainly is a lot of variety there.” “Within that variety there are also heroines who are easy to capture and heroines who are hard to capture.” “Ah I see now, I had a hard time understanding the connection between the protagonist’s parameters in the game.” “Regarding that, though, there’s only one thing that can be said….” “Um, what might that be?” “That is…it is completely possible to capture any heroine in the game!” “Wha-what?” “You can capture the childhood friend, the manager girl, and even the girl from the arts club!” “Well there’s also an arts club in our situation, I guess, but…” “It’s not just those! You can also capture the girl who thinks guys are gross and even the girl whom you b.u.mp into in the 3rd year corridor too!” “You’re starting to mix up what you’re wanting to say, aren’t you?” “No, no, this is definitely what I’ve been trying to get at! After all, what I’ve been trying to say is that as long as we, as humans, have things like motivation and pa.s.sion burning within us, we can do anything!” “That might be true in dating sims, but it might not go down so well in the real world.” “And so the curtain closed on my three years in high school.” “During those three years, nothing good had happened at all.” “….” “….” “Never mind the real world, Aki-kun, it seems that, even in games, things can go badly.” “I guess it really was the decision you made during that date in the spring of your second year that was bad.” “The situation in the game is eerily mirroring what’s been happening this spring, as well; it feels rather unpleasant, doesn’t it?” As we sat there listening to the stream of sorrowful male dialogue coming from the monitor, we were immersed in the lingering memories of three strife-filled years in high school that were now drawing to a close. As I took a casual glance outside the window, I saw that darkness had already descended onto the streets outside without us noticing at all. Basically, it had just been the two us together for about five to six hours straight. “Oh is it that time already…well then, I suppose it’s almost time for me to get going.” “Ah….” And so, Katou stood up. This important event, one where you call a girl over for the first time and spend the day alone together, had gone very well for a virgin otaku high school protagonist. We had jostled for the controller, our hands had touched numerous times as we pressed the b.u.t.tons together, we had exchanged heated conversations on capturing heroines and heroine features; all in all, we had shared important moments like this together. “Thank you for today, Aki-kun. It was much more fun than I expected.” And that’s why every moment of today, up until now, had been more than satisfying… “Well then, good-” “Wait.” “Hmm?” “Didn’t I say that no one leaves until we clear a route?” “We made it to an ending didn’t we? That’s why….” “That was a BAD END. It doesn’t count.” Wait, how could I say this was satisfying? I mean, nothing had even begun in the first place. “But it’s almost seven o’clock isn’t it? It’s completely dark outside.” “Ah, it’s alright. My parents aren’t coming home until midnight anyway.” “That’s definitely not alright, right?!” This was, however, a necessary path for our circle. Avoiding it was not an option; that’s why the road ahead was tough. “Promise me Katou…don’t go home yet!” “A-Aki-kun….” “I beg of you, please!” I stared intently at Katou. I was well aware of how irrational a request it was. However, I also knew of the lurking significance behind it. Despite that, I was… “Well I did kind of say that I might be late coming home today, so it should be alright if it’s just for a little while.” “You’re fine with it?!” I was a bit sceptical over Katou’s lack of nerves to stay over at a guy’s house late into the night. I mean, I could probably even ask her to let me do it and she wouldn’t even get angry; in fact, this could even be my one chance to… “You’ve got the guts for this! We’ll go to Kous.h.i.+en stadium together!” “Anyway Aki-kun, going back to our previous conversation….” “Hmm? What were we talking about again?” Katou was now in the midst of her second playthrough. She was no longer going for the main heroine but was instead targeting the short, blue-haired girl. “You say that it’s possible to capture any heroine, but just how do you do it?” “For now you should just join the athletics club. If you do nothing but club activities, the rest should handle itself nicely.” “I’m not talking about that, I’m talking about Sawamura-san.” “…Aaah!” The conversation topic Katou had raised was not about Katou-level-capture-difficulty game heroines, but instead, FujiO s.h.i.+O-level-capture-difficulty real life heroines. (2) “She was really quite adamant in turning you down earlier, so I was wondering if she’d ever listen to you again.” “Well it seems like this is where she wants things to go. She’s even rejecting my calls now.” “Huh…” Nonetheless, this would be the 36th time. “That’s why…well, all the pieces are already in place. All that’s left is to simply wait.” Even though you’re still bitter about the cancellation, you’re still someone who fails to learn from such an experience. “Even if she noticed the sign she would still come in from the opposite direction.” “Pieces? Sign? What do you mean?” “Hmm…how should I put it…take for example some ‘moe-lover’ recommends you a game and says that ‘The heroine’s cuteness is so much you’ll die!’. However, the truth is that it’s actually a depressing game where the cute, moe heroine dies instead. You’d be angry, right?” “Sorry Aki-kun, I don’t really get what you’re saying.” “Well then…another example, say a ‘scenario-fanatic’ promises you that a certain game is one of those depressing games where you would definitely cry, but instead, the game is full of bugs and you’re crying for a different reason because you can’t get the game to work. You’d be mad, right? “That example wasn’t any easier to understand than the last….” “Alright, I’ll get to the main point…in the same vein, you don’t like horror stuff, but someone lends you a horror-themed game, movie or something of the like. You’d be angry about it, yeah?” “How about that? The main point is the easiest to understand.” “Well if you had gotten such shabby treatment from the person who lent you the thing, you’d feel obliged to say a thing or two to them, right?” “Uh, not really I guess? I mean, if you were lent something for free, should you be getting angry over it?” “It’s inexcusable! Especially to otaku!” Anyway, when it came to dealing with the person behind that first story, it took me 3 hours by phone, 6 hours in real life and all my mental strength to give them a piece of my mind over what they did. “U-um, it might be so when it comes to you Aki-ku…I mean it might be so when it comes to otakus in general, but Sawamura-san doesn’t fall under that category….” “Are you seriously saying that?” “Eh?” “Katou. Do you really know the real Eriri…Sawamura Spencer Eriri…do you really know her?” “Actually on the contrary I’m quite curious about her. You seem to know a lot about her, don’t you Aki-kun?” Katou’s reply this time round was unusually sharp, a contrast to her usual light remarks made against my exaggerations. “…Why would you think that?” “I mean, you’ve been saying a lot of things about her…her actual name, things about her family, things about her past…it feels like a lot, doesn’t it?” It could be that a woman’s intuition is on an entirely different approach than a man’s. “While I’m on the say-everything-about-Eriri mode, how about I tell you one more thing about her?” While saying that, I walked up to the west window in my room and pointed forward. From the steepest point on the hill where my house was, there was another hill which could be could be seen if you looked up a little higher. “You said that her family was rich, didn’t you?” “Ah but they were only rumours though.” “Well it’s also true that her family is rich. Can you see that huge mansion from here?” “Oh that mansion on top of the hill? You can also see it from the windows at our school.” “That’s the Sawamura Mansion.” “Eh?” “By the way, she’s in the same school district as us. So the kids there and the kids here all go to the same schools at the bottom of the hill, s.h.i.+mamura Elementary and s.h.i.+mamura Middle School.” “…Ah.” “Well it would have been different if she had entered a private school back then, but the Sawamura family…I mean her old man Spencer is not the kind of person that gives out special treatment.” “Really? Ah….” And so…well, a lot of stuff happened in the past. “While we’re still looking over there, that single light heading down the hill, it’s heading this way, isn’t it?” “Hmm, ah, you’re right. What is it…a bicycle?” “That might be….” Ah right, now would be about the time where you’d be spouting steam from your head. “A-Aki-kun…it stopped! It stopped right in front of the house!” “Ah yeah, that’s right.” I’m not too sure how urgent it was for you to be here, but the immense screeching from your brakes was enough to make it echo around the area for about three seconds. “A-Aki-kun, they’ve entered! They’ve entered the house!” “Ah yeah, that’s right.” The noise from the door being opened so fiercely was enough to dash against the walls as the sound echoed throughout the area again. That being said, I wonder if you placed the spare key back underneath the flower pot. “A-Aki-kun…they’re getting closer! They’re coming to this room!” “Ah yeah, that’s right.” The sound of your two stairs-at-a-time ascent was now echoing throughout the middle of the house. “A-Aki-kun…? Why are you getting down?” “Don’t be silly….” Do-Katatata! The immense thudding sounds of your fall down the stairs were now echoing through the house. That seemed…painful. “A-Aki-kun…this time, um…” “Ah yeah, that’s right….Katou.” “Eh?” “Get down on the floor. Just in case.” Zom-Zom-Zom! The rhythmic sound of your one-stair-at-a-time crawl up was now like a… It’s just like, you know, that, um…. “You call this a moe battle anime? Screw yooooouuuuuuu!” And so, along with that otaku-ish shout, came flying at us a DVD case. Translation Notes and References 1. Katou is referring to an extremely stereotypical image of Otakus. ‘Dao’ is a portmanteau of だよ or dayo. ‘Dufu’ is a slang word which means a creepy and disgusting otaku laugh. 2. Refers to Fujisaki s.h.i.+ori, a character from an incredibly ancient (by today’s standards) dating sim called Tokimeki Memorial. The lines from the game they’re playing are also references to the game as are the heroine tropes being spouted by Tomoya.
Chapter 3-3 Part 3 And so, Sat.u.r.day. “Sorry to keep you waiting Aki-kun.” “…Yo.” Katou was about 3 minutes late arriving at our meeting place, but at the very least she had managed to show up. “Ah I’m so glad that the weather is all good today! I was worried since the forecast was a bit sketchy.” “Well, that’s good I guess.” Yesterday I had invited Katou over to my house. In the time that followed my sudden and profound invitation, Katou displayed, for only the briefest of seconds, a gesture of her hands touching her cheeks while in deep thought. However she immediately returned back to her ‘usual’ relaxed expression and gave me her response of “Sure, sounds good.” That little gesture was for me…actually no, was for just about anyone, an extraordinary achievement. Inviting a girl whom you’ve known for only about a week over to your place isn’t something an otaku would do. In normal circ.u.mstances, you would have first had to raise some sort of important flag and had some relational development occur… “Ooh, so your house is in this area. Did you know I sometimes happen to pa.s.s by here?” “Yeah I know.” “Oh, is that so? Ah now that I think about it, this is the place where my hat flew away.” “…Yeah.” Ah I had just realised…that the place we were meeting at was away from the convenience of public transportation; there wasn’t even a bus stop around here. “You look a bit tired Aki-kun. Were you up watching late night anime shows?” “Ah yeah. After watching them I went to deliver the morning papers. I only slept a little after I got back from my deliveries.” “Despite your outward appearance you’re actually a really hard worker Aki-kun. Although what you’re working hard for might be a little different I suppose, when compared to other people.” “….” I guess I had just slipped into the flow of it. Deliberately loading up my bicycle with a huge amount of newspapers for the morning delivery. “Your job really does seem tiring, doesn’t it?” “Yeah…it is if you’re jumping from one thing to another so suddenly.” “Are you alright? Maybe I should just head back for today?” “No, I’m fine. Let’s move on from me being tired for now…On the other hand Katou, those clothes of yours…” “Oh these? I bought them all as a single set last week. It’s been getting warmer lately, so I thought it’d be time for a change in seasonal clothing.” “Ah I see….” The light and warm colours of her cardigan and pants combined nicely as a full set. Looking at it all, it was definitely a most springlike outfit. Even though she was hanging out with someone like me, you could say her coming here normally dressed was a bit of a high point. However… “Hmm, do these clothes not suit me?” “No no, they look nice on you. They have an energetic feel about them, which is good don’t you think?” “Ah thanks. Now that I think about it, I agree with you there. These clothes are really easy to move in and I’m quite happy about that.” “Oh I see…how nice.” Oh right, that white one-piece of hers had been a winter outfit. I guess hoping for that much is a bit irrational on my part. Although, how should I put it, even if there were only a few fleeting memories of it… To not even have three of her flags broken during such a short conversation is just simply something else… “…Are you sure you’re alright Aki-kun?” “Yes I’m fine, you can stop asking me already. We should get going to my house now.” “Ah okay. Thanks for having me over.” “You can save that for when you’ve actually arrived at my house. There’s still ten minutes to go on foot and we need to go over that hill first.” “What? Your house is on top of the hill? Walking up there seems like a real pain.” Honestly, there’s no one better than this girl when it comes to freezing the blooming hearts of otaku. That’s why I was confident. Confident in the fact that no matter what would transpire today, I would not a.s.sault Katou. “Well we’re here now. The place is in a bit of mess, but please make yourself comfortable.” “Again thanks for having me over…woah, this is a perfect-picture of an otaku’s room.” “Ah, I sure wish I could be picture-perfect too.” “Being able to say such things so freely without sounding weird must be one of your virtues Aki-kun.” “Then I want to become even more virtuous and obtain the power of dakimakura materialisation!” “…Sorry, that was just a bit too weird.” I had already predicted to a certain extent where things were going to go but… Megumi Katou, despite having gone up into my room, was acting just like her usual self. For starters there were no signs of nervousness or tension at all: she wasn’t trying to strain herself by opening the window in my room while remarking ‘Oh it sure is hot in this room!’, nor was she mistakenly sitting down on my bed and hopping straight back off while saying ‘S-sorry!’, and she wasn’t trying to find things like my erotic mangas and adult videos while exclaiming ‘Now where are those treasures of yours?’ either. Actually there’s a mistake in that last part. “Anyway let’s just go kill some time for now with a dating sim. It’ll be 100% fine since there’s no eroge at all in this room.” “I’ve got no clue what you mean by ‘killing time for now’, or what you mean by things being ‘100% fine’.” This is why I can be myself, like how I usually am when I invite otaku friends over. If we’re gaming, we’ll be clearing the route of a single heroine. If we’re watching anime, we’ll be staying over until we finish an entire series. That’s right, these are the things we do when people come over to my house to play… “Today was really enjoyable. Feel free to invite me over again next time.” “Well, shall we go home then?” “This is why it’d be great if we were to gather more members together, Aki-kun. You’d think that even I would know that making a game requires a lot of people.” “But when it comes to PC dating sims, it’s not like that at all. The industry is small and you have games which are made by teams of just two or three people.” “But we’re talking about the right people for the right job here Aki-kun, even if we were to go for your preferred choices….” “Then let me ask you, Katou. Who do you think would be good for the job?” “Hmm let’s see, people who are big, who sweat even in winter and would never take off their bandanas, people who add ‘-dono’ to the end of people’s names when addressing them and use suffixes like ‘dao’ and ‘dufu’ and other words I don’t quite get and….” (1) “Well I guess I should be sorry then. That being said, are you alright with someone like that?” “Well, it’d be a bit uncomfortable but I guess it can’t be helped, can it? I mean I’ve heard that your dating sim industry is full of people like that.” “Sometimes I just can’t tell whether you’re being cruel or kind.” “Today was really enjoyable. Make sure to invite me next time. It’s a promise right?” “Well, shall we go home together then?” “Well Aki-kun, one of the more important elements is to first make sure whether or not we’re willing to go through with this right?” “Both willingness and ability are important. However when talking about these two elements, it is the latter which is more important. If we were to gather a mob of misfits together, what could we hope to accomplish?” “Even if you were to say that though….” “That being said, things such as appearance, personality and gender have nothing to do with making games. Only you, Katou, would choose people based on these standards.” “If we were to talk about judging people though, I kind of doubt that the people who don’t choose by those sorts standards would be above people like me, who do choose by those standards.” “By the way, you really don’t have any reaction to these kinds of lines in the game, do you?” “It’s just I feel that the pictures in this game are a bit old.” “That’s because it IS old. This game is a cla.s.sical masterpiece.” “It was a really tiring day.” “Well I’m heading home. Farewell.” “Anyway Aki-kun, Sawamura-san and Kasumigaoka-senpai are complete novices when it comes to anything related to otakus. It’s just impossible…right?” “When did you start thinking that they were novices?” “Eh? What do you mean?” “Katou, your perspective of them is too black and white.” “Wha-what is…?” “Oh, the choice you made just now was wrong.” “Eh, when did the dialogue in the game start changing?” “The present you chose dropped your affection level to minus 1.” “Huh?! Surely there’s nothing wrong with giving a girl an accessory right?!” “Please refrain from saying things that would devalue the worth of women.” “But since she’s just a game heroine, it should just be like that right?” “….” “Aki-kun?” “Alright. Time to stop the game for a bit. It’s now intermission and lecture time.” “The break is welcome, but why the lecture?” “Because, Katou, you have no understanding of what a dating sim heroine is! Those heroines might just be mere lines of code, but they aren’t just machines that give the same response over and over again if you press their b.u.t.tons! They’re warm and compa.s.sionate beings who ought to have a greater appeal than any real woman! And to top it off, you’re going to become a dating sim heroine, right? What are you going to do if you can’t even understand the core basics of a heroine!?” “…Aki-kun, could I at least make some tea first before becoming one?” “Hey, if we do this it won’t be cold right?” “Woah, how beautiful…a white Christmas.” “Anyway Aki-kun, I think that your fearlessness in this position is actually an advantage, so it really would be best if you chose someone like Sawamura-san.” “….” “But no matter how you look at it, it’s just not possible to persuade her. Aki-kun, you know what kind of person she is, right?” “….” “Aki-kun?” “Ah sorry. I was focused on the monitor.” “…Ah, I see.” “So, what were you talking about?” “I was talking about Sawamura-san. The second-year, Sawamura Eriri-san from Cla.s.s G.” “It’s Sawamura Spencer Eriri. There’s still her British surname.” “She’s the ace of the arts club, right? Last year after entering our school, she was chosen straight away for the city exhibition. Did you know that then her achievement became the talk of the school?” “Considering her abilities, being at that level is only natural.” “Huh? Anyway there are also rumours that her family is rich and her dad is a diplomat as well.” “While it’s true that her father is from England and is also a diplomat, what you’re envisaging, Katou, is probably something different.” “Eh? Anyway, despite her status, she’s very modest, kind and sincere to everyone. Because of this, she’s popular not only with students from our year, but our seniors as well. They also say that even the new students upon hearing these rumours, come up to her cla.s.s just to see her.” “Oh, that’s because her manner of hiding has been perfect since entering school.” “What? Um, Aki-kun?” “Hey, Katou.” “Huh, what is it?” “Did you know that the game you’re playing right now has various kinds of heroines in it?” “What’s with this all of a sudden?” “Literary types, scientific types, artistic types, sporty types, going-home types…there is a richness in variety.” “We-well there certainly is a lot of variety there.” “Within that variety there are also heroines who are easy to capture and heroines who are hard to capture.” “Ah I see now, I had a hard time understanding the connection between the protagonist’s parameters in the game.” “Regarding that, though, there’s only one thing that can be said….” “Um, what might that be?” “That is…it is completely possible to capture any heroine in the game!” “Wha-what?” “You can capture the childhood friend, the manager girl, and even the girl from the arts club!” “Well there’s also an arts club in our situation, I guess, but…” “It’s not just those! You can also capture the girl who thinks guys are gross and even the girl whom you b.u.mp into in the 3rd year corridor too!” “You’re starting to mix up what you’re wanting to say, aren’t you?” “No, no, this is definitely what I’ve been trying to get at! After all, what I’ve been trying to say is that as long as we, as humans, have things like motivation and pa.s.sion burning within us, we can do anything!” “That might be true in dating sims, but it might not go down so well in the real world.” “And so the curtain closed on my three years in high school.” “During those three years, nothing good had happened at all.” “….” “….” “Never mind the real world, Aki-kun, it seems that, even in games, things can go badly.” “I guess it really was the decision you made during that date in the spring of your second year that was bad.” “The situation in the game is eerily mirroring what’s been happening this spring, as well; it feels rather unpleasant, doesn’t it?” As we sat there listening to the stream of sorrowful male dialogue coming from the monitor, we were immersed in the lingering memories of three strife-filled years in high school that were now drawing to a close. As I took a casual glance outside the window, I saw that darkness had already descended onto the streets outside without us noticing at all. Basically, it had just been the two us together for about five to six hours straight. “Oh is it that time already…well then, I suppose it’s almost time for me to get going.” “Ah….” And so, Katou stood up. This important event, one where you call a girl over for the first time and spend the day alone together, had gone very well for a virgin otaku high school protagonist. We had jostled for the controller, our hands had touched numerous times as we pressed the b.u.t.tons together, we had exchanged heated conversations on capturing heroines and heroine features; all in all, we had shared important moments like this together. “Thank you for today, Aki-kun. It was much more fun than I expected.” And that’s why every moment of today, up until now, had been more than satisfying… “Well then, good-” “Wait.” “Hmm?” “Didn’t I say that no one leaves until we clear a route?” “We made it to an ending didn’t we? That’s why….” “That was a BAD END. It doesn’t count.” Wait, how could I say this was satisfying? I mean, nothing had even begun in the first place. “But it’s almost seven o’clock isn’t it? It’s completely dark outside.” “Ah, it’s alright. My parents aren’t coming home until midnight anyway.” “That’s definitely not alright, right?!” This was, however, a necessary path for our circle. Avoiding it was not an option; that’s why the road ahead was tough. “Promise me Katou…don’t go home yet!” “A-Aki-kun….” “I beg of you, please!” I stared intently at Katou. I was well aware of how irrational a request it was. However, I also knew of the lurking significance behind it. Despite that, I was… “Well I did kind of say that I might be late coming home today, so it should be alright if it’s just for a little while.” “You’re fine with it?!” I was a bit sceptical over Katou’s lack of nerves to stay over at a guy’s house late into the night. I mean, I could probably even ask her to let me do it and she wouldn’t even get angry; in fact, this could even be my one chance to… “You’ve got the guts for this! We’ll go to Kous.h.i.+en stadium together!” “Anyway Aki-kun, going back to our previous conversation….” “Hmm? What were we talking about again?” Katou was now in the midst of her second playthrough. She was no longer going for the main heroine but was instead targeting the short, blue-haired girl. “You say that it’s possible to capture any heroine, but just how do you do it?” “For now you should just join the athletics club. If you do nothing but club activities, the rest should handle itself nicely.” “I’m not talking about that, I’m talking about Sawamura-san.” “…Aaah!” The conversation topic Katou had raised was not about Katou-level-capture-difficulty game heroines, but instead, FujiO s.h.i.+O-level-capture-difficulty real life heroines. (2) “She was really quite adamant in turning you down earlier, so I was wondering if she’d ever listen to you again.” “Well it seems like this is where she wants things to go. She’s even rejecting my calls now.” “Huh…” Nonetheless, this would be the 36th time. “That’s why…well, all the pieces are already in place. All that’s left is to simply wait.” Even though you’re still bitter about the cancellation, you’re still someone who fails to learn from such an experience. “Even if she noticed the sign she would still come in from the opposite direction.” “Pieces? Sign? What do you mean?” “Hmm…how should I put it…take for example some ‘moe-lover’ recommends you a game and says that ‘The heroine’s cuteness is so much you’ll die!’. However, the truth is that it’s actually a depressing game where the cute, moe heroine dies instead. You’d be angry, right?” “Sorry Aki-kun, I don’t really get what you’re saying.” “Well then…another example, say a ‘scenario-fanatic’ promises you that a certain game is one of those depressing games where you would definitely cry, but instead, the game is full of bugs and you’re crying for a different reason because you can’t get the game to work. You’d be mad, right? “That example wasn’t any easier to understand than the last….” “Alright, I’ll get to the main point…in the same vein, you don’t like horror stuff, but someone lends you a horror-themed game, movie or something of the like. You’d be angry about it, yeah?” “How about that? The main point is the easiest to understand.” “Well if you had gotten such shabby treatment from the person who lent you the thing, you’d feel obliged to say a thing or two to them, right?” “Uh, not really I guess? I mean, if you were lent something for free, should you be getting angry over it?” “It’s inexcusable! Especially to otaku!” Anyway, when it came to dealing with the person behind that first story, it took me 3 hours by phone, 6 hours in real life and all my mental strength to give them a piece of my mind over what they did. “U-um, it might be so when it comes to you Aki-ku…I mean it might be so when it comes to otakus in general, but Sawamura-san doesn’t fall under that category….” “Are you seriously saying that?” “Eh?” “Katou. Do you really know the real Eriri…Sawamura Spencer Eriri…do you really know her?” “Actually on the contrary I’m quite curious about her. You seem to know a lot about her, don’t you Aki-kun?” Katou’s reply this time round was unusually sharp, a contrast to her usual light remarks made against my exaggerations. “…Why would you think that?” “I mean, you’ve been saying a lot of things about her…her actual name, things about her family, things about her past…it feels like a lot, doesn’t it?” It could be that a woman’s intuition is on an entirely different approach than a man’s. “While I’m on the say-everything-about-Eriri mode, how about I tell you one more thing about her?” While saying that, I walked up to the west window in my room and pointed forward. From the steepest point on the hill where my house was, there was another hill which could be could be seen if you looked up a little higher. “You said that her family was rich, didn’t you?” “Ah but they were only rumours though.” “Well it’s also true that her family is rich. Can you see that huge mansion from here?” “Oh that mansion on top of the hill? You can also see it from the windows at our school.” “That’s the Sawamura Mansion.” “Eh?” “By the way, she’s in the same school district as us. So the kids there and the kids here all go to the same schools at the bottom of the hill, s.h.i.+mamura Elementary and s.h.i.+mamura Middle School.” “…Ah.” “Well it would have been different if she had entered a private school back then, but the Sawamura family…I mean her old man Spencer is not the kind of person that gives out special treatment.” “Really? Ah….” And so…well, a lot of stuff happened in the past. “While we’re still looking over there, that single light heading down the hill, it’s heading this way, isn’t it?” “Hmm, ah, you’re right. What is it…a bicycle?” “That might be….” Ah right, now would be about the time where you’d be spouting steam from your head. “A-Aki-kun…it stopped! It stopped right in front of the house!” “Ah yeah, that’s right.” I’m not too sure how urgent it was for you to be here, but the immense screeching from your brakes was enough to make it echo around the area for about three seconds. “A-Aki-kun, they’ve entered! They’ve entered the house!” “Ah yeah, that’s right.” The noise from the door being opened so fiercely was enough to dash against the walls as the sound echoed throughout the area again. That being said, I wonder if you placed the spare key back underneath the flower pot. “A-Aki-kun…they’re getting closer! They’re coming to this room!” “Ah yeah, that’s right.” The sound of your two stairs-at-a-time ascent was now echoing throughout the middle of the house. “A-Aki-kun…? Why are you getting down?” “Don’t be silly….” Do-Katatata! The immense thudding sounds of your fall down the stairs were now echoing through the house. That seemed…painful. “A-Aki-kun…this time, um…” “Ah yeah, that’s right….Katou.” “Eh?” “Get down on the floor. Just in case.” Zom-Zom-Zom! The rhythmic sound of your one-stair-at-a-time crawl up was now like a… It’s just like, you know, that, um…. “You call this a moe battle anime? Screw yooooouuuuuuu!” And so, along with that otaku-ish shout, came flying at us a DVD case. Translation Notes and References 1. Katou is referring to an extremely stereotypical image of Otakus. ‘Dao’ is a portmanteau of だよ or dayo. ‘Dufu’ is a slang word which means a creepy and disgusting otaku laugh. 2. Refers to Fujisaki s.h.i.+ori, a character from an incredibly ancient (by today’s standards) dating sim called Tokimeki Memorial. The lines from the game they’re playing are also references to the game as are the heroine tropes being spouted by Tomoya.
