Shin Kidou Senki Gundam W: Frozen Teardrop c6

[translation] Frozen Teardrop, Chapter 6


NOTE: un-flocking this made it "too long" to be posted. The footnotes have been removed and put in a separate post here

NOTE: I am aware I have written "Katrine Wood Winner" and it's come to my attention and been pointed out by a few readers that it's "Oud" and I think the general consensus is: I was wrong. I am sorry, but I'm going to put off fixing all this until a later time...there is a lot of text to go through (but it would be a fantastic refresher, when I get around to it).

MC File 2
Once upon a time there lived a rooster called "Voice of Dawn." One day, as Voice of Dawn was walking, a fox came along and jumped upon the high wall. Then, the fox spoke:
"Why do you run away?"

Voice of Dawn decided to ignore [the fox] and did not answer (at all).

"The other day, the Lion, king of beasts, and the Eagle, king of birds, had a discussion. And they have decided that all animals shall stop killing other animals."

Voice of Dawn spoke as he looked far off into the distance, "There is a hound running up from over there!" When the fox heard that, he panicked and fled. "Why do you run away? Haven't all the animals stopped killing each other?" But the fox did not return......

The Dawn of World Peace
From A Thousand and One Nights told by Scheherazade

MC-0022 Next Winter

Katrine Wood Winner. That's my name. My father's name was Zayed Tabla [#1] Winner. He's been dead for decades. My middle name is a [kind of] instrument, as are [the middle names of] my older brother, 'Raberba [#2],' and my father, 'Tabla,' and that's one thing customary to the Winner family. Iria told me that (later). I know Quatre killed our Father and Mother. Mother, after who I am named, died giving birth to Quatre. It seems that for women at the time, 'pregnant' was synonymous with 'death' [#3]. I don't think that's any excuse, but since I had no mother, [they used] techniques from the last era [AC]; I was conceived by in vitro fertilization and born a test tube baby. Ever since I was born (to this world), it's been my fate to shoulder [the question?] of what it means to live.

There is not one life that isn't worth saving. The heaviest thing in [all of] s.p.a.ce is life.

That's true, isn't it? For example, the Katrine for whom I am named traded her life so she could give birth to my elder brother Quatre but...... that was the right decision, right? I actually asked [my brother].

"Brother, have you ever been happy you were born?"

"That's a tough question...... I think I'll know the answer when I die."

"How many people have died because you were born?"

"I don't know...... Father and Mother definitely died because of me, I myself have killed many people in war......"

"But, you've saved the lives of many more people, right?"

"Yes..... the people who survived on the battlefield, they all rely on that thought to keep going."

"I've never seen you cry."

"I cried a lot a long time ago..... maybe my tears are frozen now."

"......"

"If you shed a tear and make an apology, then maybe someone will forgive you, but I cannot forgive myself...... so I decided I wasn't going to cry anymore."

Say there is a peaceful world but it's under control, and there is a free world but it's constantly at war, which place is [the] happ[ier place]? Naturally, a world that is free and [has] peace is ideal, but I don't think a place like that actually exists in this world. Both sides find some points upon which to compromise and [despite] a film of little inconveniences, they [must] manage to find satisfaction-- that is the condition of the world in which man lives, isn't it? If sacrificing a few can bring happiness to the many, that must certainly be the virtuous route. However, it's necessary for those who are to be sacrificed to a.s.sent. If a mutual agreement isn't reached, then force is used. Whereupon the 'supreme happiness' of the large majority transforms into the immoral 'arrogance' of the strong and absurd demands are made of the weak. [My] father Zayed was of a minority opinion. He was against the militarization of the s.p.a.ce colonies. As he was a wealthy man, large numbers of colonial citizens [tried to] coax him into buying them weapons, but he stubbornly refused.

"Humans can just barely live in s.p.a.ce. War and whatnot, it's an impossible, stupid act."

I think that's the right opinion. However, Quatre didn't abide by that thought.

"War is sad. But if someone doesn't fight, the war will not end."

He took the mobile suit called Sandrock and went himself to the battlefield.

No matter how perfect the saint, the majority will be full of sacrifice. The problems of s.p.a.ce have been much talked about, but if [you're] really going to inquire about the importance of it [224/2/9], then the best method seems to be the decimation of mankind, that (ultimate theory) doesn't feel entirely wrong [to me]. For man, if to live means to sin, then it's better to stop living straight away, what's more, a way to 'atone for sins' must be developed and put into action. It's funny but actually, most people alive don't have [any concept (lit: consciousness)] of 'sin.' Living is natural; and death, [that] certainly ought to be hateful. But my case is a little different. The gift of life was a result of an intentionally performed medical technique; the meaning of [my] life has, from the very beginning, been laid out like something of a mission. The suffering of all the people in this world must be removed. For (the sake) of the happiness of many others, I must volunteer. That was the life given to me. It's okay to treat my life cheaply. Even in s.p.a.ce, my life falls under the category of things to be taken lightly.
***
I decided to wear gla.s.ses. Not because my eyesight was bad, it just felt like someone like me didn't deserve to look directly at such a world inundated with beautiful life. Doesn't everything appear clam when looked at with a microscope or telescope? It was something like that. When I looked at the world without [that filter], it was embarra.s.sing and left me rather unsettled.
***
The scenery that spread before my eyes now was probably Mars' most beautiful. The morning glow of the sun starting to rise. [And] to that the unique solar eclipse [caused by] the first moon Phobos sinking in front. Mt. Olympus towered jet-black off in the distance; a sandstorm raged in the vast red desert stretching out at the foot [of Olympus]. And [there were] two giant humanoid weapons-- mobile suits.

White cloaked Snow White.

Black cloaked Warlock.

I was excited. The two suits, black and white, were paragons of beauty. With my spirits lifted, I called their names. However, the person I admired coldly declared:

"Katrine...... I will kill you."

He had somewhat of a different image from the 'Heero Yuy' of whom Relena had spoken.

"Heero is the man who gave us hope," she had said with eyes downcast in shame/embarra.s.sment [#4]. "I also beseeched President Dorothy. For the sake of brining peace to Mars now, we need him." [#5]

That is most definitely what I had heard--

Trowa Phobos came calling at my back.

"Think about it, Katrine! The ideals of Relena Peacecraft can't be realized [right] now!!"

I knew that much at least. I knew I might be fighting a losing battle. But if someone doesn't fight for those ideals, nothing will change these sad, miserable conditions. I had decided. I would [fight to] achieve Relena's total pacifism.

MC-0015 - 0019

When I was little, I was raised by Doctor Iria. Iria was the one who best understood my feelings. She seemed like a kindly mother. It was probably her that brought me into the world. She is also my big sister and was born a test tube baby herself (I had her tell me). My birthday is the same day (lit: anniversary) of the Mars Independence day. Ever since then, I hear disputes have broken out here and there. But little me was indifferent. Far removed from the (Mars district city), out in the sticks, there was a para-terraforming life dome and there, Iria had opened a small hospital called Winner Hospital [#6]. It was a small, wooden house that looked just like a bird house, yet it housed the latest medical equipment; I remember it running smoothly. Outside the house, a transparent dome isolated us from the rest of Mars and [inside] it was full of beautiful trees, a sparkling late, and birds and squirrels and other little critters flitting between the trees and running around. Each season in the garden, pretty flowers bloomed and beautiful b.u.t.terflies flew around elegantly. I am sure fairies and dwarves must have lived there. To me, as a kid, that idyllic place was my whole world. And I truly thought I'd never venture out into the outside world. I selfishly dreamed that gentle Iria and I would stay together always. I was pretty much a tomboy and pretty spoiled [alt: hanging on Iria's ap.r.o.n strings #7]. After dinner (just the two of us), Iria often played the violin for me. It was an old violin and she played a beautiful song from long ago. I thought she had a bothersome musical middle name, too, but she said that she didn't.

"Only the Winner family heirs have middle names," that's what Iria said. "[I] want you to succeed Quatre." That was the first time I'd heard the name of my older brother, Quatre.

"Mr. Quatre, he doesn't have kids?"

"No...... he won't marry nor will he love."

"......?" I was amazed. I was little so I didn't understand what she was saying.

"He's a bid odd...... Quatre used to play this [very] violin a long time ago."

"You won't get married, Iria?"

"I'm an old lady." She didn't look [that old] in my eyes. "Moreover, I've got my work as a doctor...... If I said things like this to [my husband], he'd surely get angry." Iria continued her research on Martian endemic diseases. At first, I thought I'd been born to be a guinea pig for [researching] those illnesses.

"Katrine, please, please don't say such sad things," said Iria as she hugged me tight and shed tears. At the time, I honestly didn't care one way or the other but she lavished love upon me unconditionally. There was just one time, when Iria was making a house-call, that I tried to play the violin.

SCREECH......

That was the only [horrible] sound I could make; I knew I really couldn't play the violin. But I managed okay on the piano. I tried playing the song Iria had performed from memory.

"That's great, Katrine! I thought you were a genius......" I think I was about two at the time. But that's in Mars years, I just thought I'd mention that. Iria slept in the same bed with me [#8]. When I couldn’t sleep, Iria would tell me nursery rhymes from a long time ago. Great adventures upon s.h.i.+ps, secret caves, flying carpets, genies coming out of lamps; I always listened eagerly. I didn’t know it until later, but those were the stories told by Scheherazade in One Thousand and One Nights. It might have been because of that that I took a liking to reading books. Iria had a veritable mountain of books in her personal collection, if there was anything in there that I didn’t understand, there was a handy thing called a computer [which had] a store of information. My interest grew without bounds and I read all kinds of things about all kinds of [subjects]. People often say [it was] ‘special education for gifted children’ but at least in my case, it was a hobby I did because I liked it, so I didn’t like the term 'education' being used. Also, there was a game called ‘Image Trace’ and when you synched it to your brain waves, you could temporarily reenact data from a specific person. I played with it often. Around then, [when I played] I got [so] into the role of the male hero that somewhere along the line, I started referring to myself in the masculine. I reformed the softwar to suit my needs 226/2/4. For example, I’d download Iria’s violin performance program and although I wasn’t super confident, I could reenact [the performance] so that even I could play “Scheherazade.” But there was a limit to the digital conversion and it had taken several months of continued practice to learn how to play it properly. When I performed (lit: demonstrated) it in front of Iria, she was choked up when she spoke, “You’re like Quatre with that kind of skill…… but you can’t go easy on your practice because (for people) there is value in that which you have toiled over…..” That was the only time Iria [gave me] anything like candid advice. Even when I started referring to myself in the masculine despite being a girl [#9], she accepted it with a smile on her face.
***
Two or three times every six months, Ras.h.i.+d, a big man with a magnificent white beard, came to our house to deliver provisions, medicine, and the latest medical equipment.

“I really appreciate you always doing this,” Iria politely thanked [him].

“Don’t mention it 226/3/9, Miss Iria.”

I loved Uncle Ras.h.i.+d.

“That’s because we’re Maganacs!” His smiling face was fantastic. “You (lit: Little Miss) look more and more like master Quatre and it seems like you’re [already so] intelligent! Keep it up! I’m looking forward to [seeing you grow up]!” Uncle Ras.h.i.+d’s job was [doing the] Winner family interplanetary s.h.i.+pping and whenever he pa.s.sed close to Mars’ orbit, he never failed to stop by. Some[where along the line], just when Uncle Ras.h.i.+d came, I noticed that typically bare-faced Iria wore make-up. I began to think that Iria was in love with Ras.h.i.+d, though it is only something I’ve heard about from books. There was just one time when I asked Uncle Ras.h.i.+d as he was working in the garden.

“What do you think of Iria?”

“I think she is a great person.”

“Won’t you marry her or something?”

“You kidder! Iria and I are from different worlds (lit: social cla.s.ses).” Uncle Ras.h.i.+d got red in the face and turned around. I asked a simple question:

"Because she's a test tube baby?"

"......" Uncle Ras.h.i.+d stopped his garden work, came up to me taking big strides and glared at me with his big eyes.

"Miss Katrine! Please don't say that again!" He had a powerfully serious face. "First of all, I'm a test tube baby myself!" I thought if that were so, then it had no connection to their social standing.

"Iria likes [you], Uncle Ras.h.i.+d......"

"I already have Kami. My forever complaining, none-too-easy-on-the-eyes, rough wife-"

Wouldn't Iria be a far more appealing woman than such a wife [as that]?

"-but she's my kind of woman [ALT: she matches me]."

White magnolias were blooming in the garden and a wonderful smell wafted through the air. "Men and women don't always do what we want them to do."

"I guess it's hard......"

"But Miss Katrine, please fall in love how you think you should, how you feel you should. You must not be untrue to your own heart! Being born from a test tube (and all), that's absolutely irrelevant!"

"O-okay......" I nodded in front of Uncle Ras.h.i.+d but I couldn't even imagine myself in love. Magnolias mean "love of nature." 227/2/22 I didn't understand love towards people but all the nature here in s.p.a.ce, that I respected and loved its will to live 227/2/25. All of nature makes my life s.h.i.+ne with my own thoughts/wishes.

"You resemble Master Quatre in the strangest ways......" Uncle Ras.h.i.+d was muttering something but I couldn't really catch it.
***
Two patients were admitted to Winner Hospital. One of them was a nice old lady named Marine [#10] Darlian and she affectionately always called me Relena. Every time she did that, I told her my name was Katrine, but Ms. Darlian didn't seem to listen.

"I was, a long time ago, a lady-in-waiting for [Mistress] Katerina...... that's your real mother, Relena."

"But I'm not Katerina, my name is Katrine...... and I'm also not Relena."

Ms. Darlian kept telling me to behave more like a lady.

"Ms. Darlian, do you want milk in your tea?"

"Yes, please. But Relena, good girls say 'Would you like some milk?'"

It seemed like this Relena was the dughter Ms. Darlian had raised. "Put on a skirt. It would certainly look good on you, Relena." I listened to what she told me. I loved seeing her smiling face. Tomboy that I was, I had to be on my best behaviour when I was with Ms. Darlian. And I took to calling myself watakus.h.i.+ [#11] instead of boku.

The other [patient] was a year older than me; her name was Stella. She was always asleep in bed. Stella, who had a chronic congenital disease in her heart and lungs, only smiled when I was with her, so I decided to be at her side as much as possible. Twice, I had seen Stella as she was in [the throes of great] pain. She cried out in misery, "It hurts...... it hurts......" She cried, screamed, coughed, threw up blood; she was in agony. "Please don't look at me... go away......"

Iria gave Stella some painkillers and that managed to settle her, but it seemed as though Stella hated that I had seen her [in such intense pain]. An invisible wall went up between us. From the next day, I wasn't privy to seeing her with a smile on her face. It was sad. But (it seemed like) there was nothing I could do about it. It wasn't like Stella wanted to be sick. We were equally blessed with life but [as] she lived a life [bedridden] and full of pain and I had lived the life of a (spoiled) tomboy, [our worlds] were just too different. That's what I thought. Why couldn't someone like me who hadn't the least handicap give freedom to Stella-- that was no wonder 228/2/3. Stella began to suffer from insomnia. She was afraid [to sleep] because when she closed her eyes, she concentrated on every little pain. Just like Iria had done for me when I was little, I [sat] by her side and read books aloud to her. Seems I got lucky and [was able] to get Stella's smile back a little and she was able to get some peaceful sleep. By keeping that up every night, my friends.h.i.+p with Stella mended.

"Thank you......" Stella thanked me politely in her gravelly voice. "Katrine, will you be my best friend?"

"Little old me?"

"Of course......"

Stella and I looked at each other. At some point, tears welled up in our eyes and the [tear]drops gently fell. We were so happy. And then we talked about all kinds of things. The flowers blooming in the garden, the fish jumping in the lake, family stuff.

"I heard that I have twenty nine sisters and one big brother...... but I haven't met any of them except for Iria."

"I have a father and a mother and I have a Big-Sister-of-the-Same-Name...... but I haven't met them either."

A big sister by the name name? I didn't know what that meant but I was happy knowing that Stella wasn't alone. But I wondered why she'd never met them. We thought stella was on the slow road to recover, perhaps because the drugs for her illness were taking effect. Despite that, six months later, Stella was agonized by intense pain. Not even painkillers had any effect anymore. Iria made me leave the sick room. There was nothing I could do. Iria commenced an emergency operation and didn't come home until morning. I read aloud all through the night. It was just me in the bedroom but I read as hard as I could while the tears streamed down my face. I couldn't help but be frustrated at my inability to do something. Even though my best friend Stella was in so much pain, all I could do was sit in my bed and read aloud. The next morning, though not as if my wished had been granted, it looked as though Iria's operation had been a success. Iria had done what's called 'regenerative treatment' whereby a new heart and lungs had been produced from Stella's cells and transplanted [into her]. However, in Stella's case, because of the congenital disease, it was only a matter of time before she'd get sick again.

"That's why I want you to stay with her, Katrine......"

"Okay."

Stella got better day by day. I was really happy. She [even] recovered enough to go to the same junior school as me. [It was] MC-0019, Stella was five and I was four. Outside the dome, the dust clouds were horrendous. [Sand] got in my eyes and I couldn't stop tearing up. I was probably [just] afraid of the outside world 229/1/14. Just then, Uncle Ras.h.i.+d came along; he have me a pair of goggles.

"These are the goggles of the Maganac leader." When I put on the goggles, it felt like courage bubbled up inside me.
***
MC-0022 Next Winter
The advancing Snow White brandished its beam saber (overhead). And then in a flash of light, it stabbed the hovercraft I had been on. The c.o.c.kpit was completely destroyed. I had, before that, jumped down to the red desert and threw myself up a sand dune. I turned around and confirmed the destruction of the hovercraft. The hangar was unharmed.

"Good, looks like I'll still be able to collect Prometheus in one piece......" I muttered as I headed through the raging sandstorm for the lead Maganac suit. The goggles protected my vulnerable heart and eyes. I changed [the control schematics to] manual in the c.o.c.kpit of the suit named 'Ras.h.i.+d.' From that machine, it was possible to control the [whole] Maganac Corps remotely. I [made ready to] pa.s.s the sandstorm.

"Sorry, but I'm going to have to resist!" I (threw) myself inside the c.o.c.kpit of Ras.h.i.+d.

"The pa.s.sword is 'MAGANAC-8x5' Miss Katrine."

In the back of my mind, I heard Uncle Ras.h.i.+d's voice. I input that pa.s.sword on the sub-board. The main monitor switched on and 'Ras.h.i.+d' started up. The com-link somehow got restored. Amidst a dreadful nose, I could intermittently pick up on the conversation between the pilots of Snow White and Warlock.

"Did you get her?"

"No, she's probably going to start up the mobile dolls."

Bingo. That's just what I'd expect of the pilot I admired. Using the side controls, I [set up] a virtual keyboard. It was a mobile doll control apparatus styled like a piano keyboard. I pulled up the name of a composer who was a contemporary of the composer of the 'Scheherazade,' Rimsky-Korsakov.

"Do you like Sergei Prokofiev? 'Peter and the Wold' is good, and 'Romeo and Juliet' is also pretty, isn't it?" But my tastes [ran to] a piano sonata said to be difficult [to play]. It was also called the 'War Sonata.'

"Well, shall we use 'Piano Sonata No. 7'?" I commenced the performance (handling). With this song, I hailed the Maganac Corps and they started up.

"Oy, oy, the others moved!"

"You [go] slice through the left wing...... I'll attack from right to center."

"Ain't it gonna be hard taking on forty mobile dolls?"

"It's twenty dolls each...... your father could do it with his eyes closed."

"Ch! Big whoop. I'll show you!!"

Their conversation made me laugh. It seemed like they couldn't work as a team yet. In that case, there was hope for me.

"Seven dwarves for Snow White!" I continued my up-tempo performance, "A magic mirror for Warlock!" In my [video data], I had seen the (former [original]) "Gundam Deathscythe h.e.l.l" wield that giant [beam scythe] at Brussels on Earth. The beam scythe's destructive power exceeded [my] imagination. It was dangerous to approach the suit from all sides. I needed to send the mobile dolls in a (graduated) wave attack and [have them] firing at all times. Performance time for the war sonata was about eighteen minutes thirty seconds. Hanging on to the mobile dolls was the difference between [success and failure #12]. Seven of [my] best dolls surrounded Snow White. I programmed the remaining thirty two dolls with 'mirror trace' and they challenged Warlock to close-quarters fighting. I didn't think that would give me a win, but at least I [could buy myself some time]. That's how it was according to my calculations. Warlock didn't avoid the hundreds of bullets sniped at it. With a magnificent swing of the beam scythe, [he] destroyed all the ammo in one blow. The area was covered with a flash of light, an explosion, and a blast [of wind]. Warlock moved left and right even as [he] showed signs of going straight ahead. The black cape was whipping [through] the wind and it was both ominous and elegant. [He] planned to make a conscientious attack from the left wing. However, the thirty two suits of the Maganac Corps antic.i.p.ated [Warlock's moves] all the more and s.h.i.+fted right, putting themselves directly before their target, the Warlock.

"What are these things......?!"

Duo Maxwell, the pilot of the Warlock, was taken aback by the unexpected moves of the mobile dolls. The mirror trace program was working excellently. Making mobile dolls take irregular attack patterns was a tactical theory. However excellent a pilot Duo Maxwell was, I predicted it would take quite a bit of time for him to read the pattern. The Snow White pilot, Heero Yuy, was calmly facing the seven cream-of-the-crop dolls (from my Corps).

"......"

Both sides glared at each other and neither so much as twitched 231/2/7. The seven Maganacs specially [modified] bodies [were equipped with] close-quarters beam canons, hand-tohand combat beam sabers, mid-range support artilerary with homing missiles, high speed chargers for diversions [#13], heavy defense equipment, and more-- all at the read. I maintained a distance [that would allow me to] immediately yield free-for-all battle conditions should either one [Snow White or Warlock] make a move. A shower of sparks shot from the white cape where grains of sand blew against it. Those pale sparks made me feel the quiet [thrum] of war. In an instant, Snow White disappeared (from that place). I wondered if he would come attacking but he didn't. Heero Yuy's suit flew high up in the air and, turning several times as if to lead the seven mobile dolls, retreated (to the rear). The seven dolls made to follow vigorously, but I changed to a slow tempo [song] and instructed them to (act restrained). The purpose of this battle was not to win.

"Katrine, don't you want this suit?"

Heero Yuy opened a com-link and [his] provoking voice [filled my c.o.c.kpit].

"Yes, of course," I said even s I maintained my distance. "But you aren't just going to let me take it me, are you?" The distance I kept was perfect for [making] preparations to attack another target. I had [yet] to eliminate the most dangerous player from the field. That boy referred to by the perfectly love name 'Nanas.h.i.+' who had gone and chosen the ridiculous name of 'Trowa Phobos;' if I didn't beat him......
***
MC-0020 Next Autumn
That junior school was called the Saint Minerva Inst.i.tute and, as I had expected, it was a school building inside a para-terraforming dome. The very first people who moved to Mars had built it and it was quite old. There was a small Mars Federation Naval port nearby and there was just enough noise to make it a hospitable school [#14]. Stella and I were transferred to the same cla.s.s. Everyone else was older than us but we followed the curriculum [without any problems]. Studying wasn't so much fun as it was a duty to complete, (so) talking to my cla.s.smates was far more interesting. Everyone adored me because they thought I was little and cute. Stella's vocabulary was pretty small 233/1/11, nevertheless, everyone warmed up to her and we made several good friends. I loved gym cla.s.s. But I thought it was a shame that Stella always had to watch (instead of partic.i.p.ate). One time, Stella suddenly collapsed in a corner of the gym. I panicked, called Iria, and had her come immediately (to the gym). It wasn't [just] Iria that arrived, but a large rescue vessel, and it took Stella from the naval port to a central hospital in a big city. All Iria and I could do was see her off.

"Two weeks ago, Stella and her big-sister-with-the-same-name were caught in [some military] dispute and now [the big sister] is brain dead."

"Brain dead?"

"Long ago, they used to call it a 'vegetative state' ." Iria closed her eyes for the pain. "In order to save Stella, they'll have her big-sister-with-the-same-name internal organs given to Stella."

"So, Stella will get all better."

"Yes...... probably...... it's ironic, though. She was actually the 'spare'......" said Iria in a small, pained voice. I had no idea what she meant. "Stella's suffered a lot...... so this is a good thing."

Several months later, Stella returned. She looked [healthy] and was bursting with energy.

"Katrine! I'm all better! The air smells wonderful [alt: it's great to be alive]. The doctor even said it was alright to go to gym cla.s.s!" Her smiling face shone like I had never seen it s.h.i.+ne before. "And my father and mother are so nice! I'm happy!!

Dreams do come true.

At the time, I was happy on the outside but...... Since then, Stella hadn't returned to the Winner Hospital, instead, she commuted to school from her own home. I got that Stella's family was very wealthy and a chauffeur picked her up and dropped her off at school, and they had dozens of employees living with them. Before I realized it, a great gap had come between Stella and me. I often tried talking to her but there some kind of formalness [in the] atmosphere that made it difficult to approach her. It was thicker than the invisible wall from before, calling it a (sense of) alienation conveyed more exactly [what it felt like]. I suddenly noticed 232/3/15 that at lunch time, I often sat all by myself. One day, when I was walking through the halls, I heard several girls talking in one of the cla.s.srooms.

"I knew there was a reason her school record was so good."

"She skipped two years, didn't she?"

"Do you suppose she's a 'spare' after all?"

"No way, is it even okay for a 'spare' to go to school?"

"Her family is super rich so they can do whatever they want."

When I heard that, I thought they were talking about Stella.

"Hold it! When you put it that way......"

When I went into the cla.s.sroom, I saw Stella standing in the middle of a ring of students talking with a smile on her face. The other girls avoided looking at me. Only Stella looked straight at me.

"How are you, Katrine?"

"Who were you talking about [just] now?"

"...... we were talking?"

Oh. They were talking about me. [For starters], I was the last daughter of the house of Winner and a test tube baby to boot. Since [that day], I was increasingly [and, ultimately, extremely] alienated from Stella and my cla.s.smates. I might have been Stella's [very] first real (lit: best) friend, but now I'd ended up somewhere around her thirtieth or fortieth. That wasn't a mistake [in and of itself]; as long as the sacrifice of a few [namely: me,] brought happiness to many. The whole thing would be over and done with if the minority [namely: me, again,] just accepted. Going to school became a bore. It was just a place to study. During lunch, I took to reading books in the library. I also tried reading books on history. Before Christ, Anno Domini, After Colony. I taught myself 233/1/9-1-< just="" how="" much="" the="" history="" of="" man="" consisted="" of="" a="" series="" of="" ups="" and="" downs.="" gradually,="" i="" came="" to="" learn="" what="" the="" real="" word="" was.="" i="" felt="" dry="" 233/1/7.="" a="" 'spare'="" meant="" a="" 'clone'="" that="" the="" wealthy="" [ordered]="" at="" special="" medical="" inst.i.tutions="" and="" were="" to="" serve="" as="" organ="" donors="" or="" 'spare="" parts'="" if="" the="" clone's="" owner="" ever="" became="" seriously="" ill.="" [it="" was]="" that="" [clone]="" which="" the="" men="" and="" women="" of="" the="" wealthy="" cla.s.s="" called="" their="" "little-brother="" (or="" sister)-with-the-same-name."="" however,="" in="" stella's="" case,="" her="" big-sister-with-the-same-name="" had="" ended="" up="" in="" a="" vegetative="" state="" so="" instead="" of="" the="" big="" sister,="" it="" was="" the="" little="" sister,="" stella,="" who="" received="" the="" lung="" and="" heart="" transplant="" and="" overcame="" her="" standing="" as="" a="" 'spare.'="" until="" then,="" she="" hadn't="" lived="" with="" her="" family="" but="" now="" she="" didn't="" have="" to="" worry="" about="" it="" 233/2/8.="" she="" was="" physically="" healthy="" and="" had="" truly="" gained="" her="" 'freedom.'="" wasn't="" that="" something="" to="" be="" happy="" about?="" it="" was="" the="" one="" thing="" i="" wanted="" most.="" after="" all,="" i="" wasn't="" so="" different="" (in="" standing)="" from="" a="" 'spare.'="" i="" decided="" to="" grin="" and="" bear="" it.="" a="" few="" days="" later,="" [instances="" of]="" unconcealed="" hara.s.sment="" increased.="" n.o.body="" would="" talk="" to="" me,="" they="" graffitied="" the="" computer="" inside="" my="" desk="" or="" broke="" it;="" they="" hid="" my="" gym="" uniform.="" but="" i="" took="" it="" all="" in="">

"Always with a pretty smile, eh...... Miss Katrine is such a bright [as in happy], good child."

That was how the teachers saw me. Before I realized it, I had begun thinking it was very important to make them feel as ease (about me). The atmosphere in cla.s.s wasn't bad and as long as I didn't complain or cause a commotion, it was peaceful at the Saint Minerva Inst.i.tute.
***
I endeavored not to pray for things. Not because I wanted to negate the existence of G.o.d, but because, simply, it's just scary to think of my prayers being granted-- to the point that it scared me. In truth, I've had impressions that there is a 'heart' to s.p.a.ce and couldn't it be putting it's will into action? Stella's case might have been a coincidence, but even if [it wasn't], I had the feeling I ought not to wish for my own happiness.

One day, in the afternoon, I was had been getting ready to go home as I always did. My goggles, however, had been lost. Once again, someone had hidden them [just] to be mean to me. If I asked Stella and her friends, they'd probably just say they didn't know and as I didn't have any friends [of my own] to help me look for them, I had decided to give it up for a lost cause and go home. Outside the dome, there were enough dust clouds to make my eyes water. The tears rolled down my face. Frankly speaking, at the time, somewhere in my heart, I hated every person at that school. I probably even thought I wanted them dead/gone [#15].

Out of nowhere, a resistance army raising a cry for 'Anti-federalism' began an attack on the Mars Federal army's naval base. It was a surprise attack by a storm hovercraft and five Mars suits. The negligent Mars Federal army was put down instantly. I'll bet no one [ever] thought a naval port out in the sticks would be attacked. Nevertheless, the Federal army mobilized nearby bases and attempted a desperate counterattack. The students couldn't leave the school and were instructed to take refuge at the shelter on the school's grounds. I made for the school dome, but it was already in emergency lockdown [mode]. I looked up in amazement at the huge humanoid weapons that were closing in. Federal support troops arrived in the area, one after the other. Live ammo from the Mars suits exploded against the school's dome. The dome was easily destroyed and then, the missiles started coming. I couldn't tell if they were from the resistance or the Federation. The old school went up in flames. I was horror-struck. I honestly regretted that another of my wishes had come true. Slightly removed from the school [grounds] was the underground shelter and it, too, was taking hits.

Then, I heard the screaming.

Surely several students and instructors have died, I had thought. War's greatest fault was (probably) that people with no connection to the war [whatsoever] were murdered without any regard for their individual beliefs. I was resigned to accept continuing my poor excuse of a life 234/1/1< 2/1.="" i="" thought="" i="" had="" to="" help="" them.="" even="" if="" i="" could="" only="" rescue="" a="" single="" precious="" life.="" i="" ran="" to="" the="" burning="" school="" grounds.="" before="" my="" eyes,="" the="" school="" collapsed="" with="" a="" roaring="" thunder.="" again,="" i="" felt="" acutely="" aware="" of="" my="" own="" powerlessness.="" i="" happened="" to="" look="" to="" my="" feet="" and="" there="" were="" my="" goggles.="" although="" i'd="" hated="" the="" people="" at="" school="" for="" hiding="" them,="" i="" didn't="" want="" them="" to="" die.="" i="" regretted="" thinking="" even="" for="" a="" second="" that="" i="" had="" wanted="" them="" dead/gone.="" i="" picked="" up="" my="" goggles="" and="" ran="" to="" the="" battlefield.="" the="" resistance's="" five="" mars="" suits="" were="" still="" firing="" and="" they="" were="" heading="" my="" way.="" ahead="" of="" me,="" there="" was="" a="" mars="" suit="" lying="" [on="" the="" ground].="" i="" thought="" the="" machine="" had="" been="" hit="" and,="" being="" unable="" to="" move,="" had="" been="" abandoned.="" it="" might="" have="" some="" some="" weapons="" i="" could="" use.="" i="" wanted="" to="" help="" the="" people="" at="" the="" school="" somehow.="" that="" was="" my="" only="" thought="" as="" i="" opened="" the="" hatch="" to="" the="" c.o.c.kpit.="" the="" simple="" security="" on="" the="" outer="" lock="" was="" [easily]="" broken.="" what="" surprised="" me="" was="" the="" pilot="" still="" inside.="" [he]="" was="" a="" young="" federation="" soldier="" quailing="" in="" terror.="">

"No... I can't do it......" he was shaking. He had also wet himself. I felt sorry for him. When I looked at the internal display, I saw the energy gauge and accompanying weaponry was still battle-ready. "Can't...... I don't do it."

"Is it okay if I take your place?"

"Huh?"

I had never been in a Mars suit. But I couldn't think of any other way.

"Don't talk crazy, a girl like you......"

"Don't worry, I'll try." I got in the c.o.c.kpit.

The young soldier spoke as he got out of the way, "Basically, this machine's programmed to respond somatically to me, it's not possible for someone else to operate it......"

I [used] the computer to clear all the pilot's recorded data, "There, now it'll be possible for me to operate [the suit]." Then I took a microchip from my pencil case and downloaded the image trance program. I selected 'Quatre Winner' from the several names listed. That [data] was very old left over combat data. I had copied from the Winner Hospital library. [Quatre Winner] could surely pilot a Mars suit without any trouble. That's what my intuition told me.

"We're going to move! Stand clear, please!" I put on my goggles and made the Mars suit stand up. Courage bubbled up [inside me]. "Let's go!" I turned to face the approaching resistance's Mars suits. The whole reason I was fighting in the first place was to get them away from the school. It seemed, however, that Quatre was skilled at hand-to-hand combat. I took uniquely suitable distance 235/2/6. My opponent seemed to be at a loss. That left a second's worth of an opening. I charged. Eluding the live bullets that were fired, I whipped out the beam saber and tore through the Mars suit holding a bazooka. I was afraid that the pilot had died. But as long as they were on the battlefield, they were supposed to be prepared to die.[.....] unlike everyone at the school.

"As if your life were more important than mine!" 236/1/3 I screamed as I turned to face the Mars suit coming up to attack me from behind and slashed it diagonally from one shoulder down under the other. "It's better not to fight!" Somewhere along the way, I'd picked up a second beam saber and held them at the ready and downed Mars suits that came at me from three directions. I was entranced. It hurt to breathe. I (cut off) the image trace program and pulled out the microchip. "......" When I took off the goggles, I knew tears streamed down my face. My chest, my heart, hurt. The disappearance of five souls was tough. I resigned myself [to the realization that] I could never go back to my regular life. I understood I could not return to school. After a while, Federation reinforcement troops came. Before [they got to me] I jumped down from the c.o.c.kpit of the Mars suit, flitted over a pile of rubble and kept running away. According to the Federation, I was a perpetrator who had stolen and used a military-grade Mars suit. According to the resistance, I was a loathsome enemy who had killed five of their comrades. It was probably a contradiction. I felt that I had keep living for the people who had died [at my hands]. I kept running, several times along the way, I [had to] push my nearly breaking heart [to go on]. I wanted to see Iria. But after this, when I imagined how much trouble I'd caused, I couldn't contain myself. I was driven to want to go somewhere, anywhere, and [just] disappear. But, just one last time....
***
At home, a silver-haired, middle aged gentleman and a scholarly type man with long fringe were with Iria.

"Welcome home," Iria received me as she always had.

"Oh, so you're Katrine......" I immediately knew the bright, eloquent voice was that of my older brother Quatre. (I thought) I had come to live my life as I had thanks to this person's fighting style. And the five souls taken in the blink of an eye, that was his fault. "Yeah, you look like mother after all, don't you."

"To take out five Mars suits in your first battle, that's quite something." The scholarly type man spoke as he smirked, "She's the perfect [addition] to our numbers......"

"Disparage me or praise me, it makes not difference to me. I just simply [used] the image trace."

"That's true. But I think it's better if you don't use that toy anymore...... play with it too many times and you'll lose your [nerve (lit: preparedness)] and liability."

"...... nerve and liability?......" I hated myself [for] making excuses. I want to help the people at school. I want to eliminate war. Wasn't that what I was really supposed to be thinking.

"Katrine...... are you living how you want to live?"

"What about you, brother?"

"Finding that answer may lead to death...... but I think you'll find it, if you live."

That was probably it. It wasn't the conclusion that was necessary just now 236/3/7. What was important wasn't the result, but the process.

"Are you going to take me in, brother?" It was okay to handle my life (shabbily).

"If you'll have us......"

In s.p.a.ce, my life was just a drop in the ocean. For the sake of the greater good, I had to serve.

"Pleased to meet your acquaintance......" This was the life given to me.

"Nice to meet you. Well then, I am currently going by the name Professor W."

"I'm Doktor..... you may call me Doktor T."

"[Time to] leave the nest," said Iria as she handed me the violin. "You are the only Katrine Wood Winner in the whole world......"

And I took pride in the fact that I didn't have any pride.

"If you ever get homesick, come back home anytime," tears streamed down Iria's face as she offered me [those] kind words.
***
MC-0022 Next Winter
I continued my performance. Tapping the keys, I closed in on Trowa's hovercraft, got it in my sights and launched a big missile (at it). The (hovercraft) Odenhaman sank into the depths of the desert. But there was no response.

"He got away......" If I (judged) this calmly, there's no way Trowa Phobos would be so easily felled. My attack was within [his predicted] set of possible outcomes. But the chances were low that he would immediately launch a counter attack. The current problem was Snow White and Warlock. The number of Maganacs mobile dolls had really decreased. "It's not been ten minutes yet......" My performance had just entered the second movement. Yet half my numbers were out of commission. "I was too lenient in my a.s.sessment [of them]......" They were showing oppressive strength. In the s.p.a.ce of just a second, when I saw a light flash by, [one of my] mobile dolls would already have been torn up. "Or perhaps not." I should say that I'd held them up for ten minutes.

"Heero Yuy" and "Duo Maxwell."

They are formidable [opponents (lit: existences)]. If those two [learned] teamwork, I suspect I would be absolutely helpless. I had checked the [video logs] of past battles and that exquisite combination had made me shudder. Attack and defense, those two things were interchanged seamlessly between them, they [covered] each other; kept supply consumption to the bare minimum; even their (game winning hits) were double-double and they delivered four times over-- that was the fighting style of the old team. I'd gotten the impression that their being on the same wave length was a thing they had cultivated on the battlefield. That the "Duo" fighting before me was not the "s.h.i.+nigami" displayed in [those] vid feeds was a very good thing for me. Thinking from a tactical perspective, when attacking a small force with a large one, annihilation by siege was the correct strategy. If the military strength was forty to two, that was supposed to be a cut and dry strategy, but I'd gone ahead and divided [my numbers] into two groups: thirty two to one and seven to one. Surely if I left Snow White and Warlock (alone) on the battle field, they would each come to learn the other's habits and directionals and in no time, they'd [turn into a formidable] team-- that much was self evident. That's why it was necessary for me to overa.s.sess their fighting power. So even though their numbers were small, I made two groups and made [Heero and Duo] beat them all 237/3. Even if I ignored the theory, I felt that this was the best strategy. My seven cream-of-the-crop dolls seemed too few against Heero Yuy. But when I estimated the destructive power of Duo's Warlock, the distribution seemed good. The mirror trace program read the opponent's movements in an instant and attacked by copying the same moves in reverse. Challenging Warlock to close-quarters combat, [he] could only go in for the kill if he was prepared to shoot himself, too 237/3/1-2. [This strategy] also had the [added benefit] of avoiding the mobile dolls greatest failure-- fighting amongst themselves. It also had the advantage of being able to cope with Duo's special, quirky attacks.

"Oi!"

Duo's screaming voice could be heard through the hard noise.

"Hey, oi! That's not part of the plan!"

Snow White jumped magnificently and while leaving an afterimage of beautiful particles that radiated pale light, continued to effortlessly dodge untold numbers of homing missiles.

"We were gonna split 'em twenty a piece!! I've already taken out twenty seven dolls!"

Heero Yuy calmly replied, "There are still twenty four dolls......"

"Ch! If you've got the time to count how many baddies have fallen, then get over here and help me!"

"Shut it...... I'm busy now."

I wasn't so confident as to give Heero Yuy [any] extra time. I had my seven best dolls continue their wave missile attack and keep up their 'in the round' [style of fighting]. And little by little, I closed the distance and had [the dolls?] move so as to block [my] movements [from being detected by the others, idk]. It was just like seven dwarves dancing madly around Snow White. But I had been careless. I had been unconsciously mesmerized by Heero Yuy's piloting techniques. Had I read the data more thoroughly, [I would have realized] Heero Yuy and Snow White wouldn't have made [any such] wasteful movements. I noticed much too late. When I finished the final chords of the battle sonata's second movement and made to plunge into the final movement--

'Ras.h.i.+d' suddenly stopped moving. My virtual keyboard disappeared.

"!"

The Maganacs stopped at the same time also. I wasn't supposed to finish for another three minutes thirty seconds. It was unfortunate, but I wasn't going to make it. And from the outside, the hatch was forcibly opened. Just like I had done once when I had piloted that Mars suit. The security was one hundred times stronger since then, but I couldn't expect anything less from a former terrorist. Standing before me was Phobos holding a pistol at the ready. To allow him to approach my suit and disable the security, Heero Yuy had made flamboyant moves with Snow White, showing a magnificent jump. Unbeknownst to me, they had made a superbly coordinated move.

With a straight face, Phobos joked, "Play time is over......" His gaze was as cold as ever. He hadn't changed a bit since I first met him.

"Don't applaud...... I have yet to play the third movement," I returned Phobos' glare albeit through my goggles.
***
MC-0022 First Spring
A year had pa.s.sed since I'd gone to stay at Chryse circus when I'd welcomed a youth called 'Nanas.h.i.+' as a friend [comrade/teammate]. 'Nanas.h.i.+' had sad eyes that had a coldness to them that spoke of how he had given up on the world. He seemed to be like me. I played my [best piece] 'Scheherazade' for him. When Doktor T offered 'a place to go home to,' he had selected that 'third path.' And 'Nanas.h.i.+' had played 'Endless Waltz' on my violin (for me). The solitude in my heart somehow felt soothed. His gypsy style performance was funky-- no, it was cheery as much as it was anything else; it made me feel sad and nostalgic. When I was with 'Nanas.h.i.+,' it felt as though my accursed fate [weren't mine alone], he let me forget the loneliness. He, however, probably didn't feel that way. My feelings were one-sided. If possible, I wanted to stay with him forever. But he had gone straight away to Earth with Catherine. We'd just met but there was a gaping hole in my heart (and the wind was blowing through). I got even better at playing 'Scheherazade.'

Not long after, I got a [call] from dear Iria.

"Katrine, I need a favor," the message said. I had cleared all the exercises and bored as I was, received permission from Professor W and Doktor T and headed directly to the Winner Hospital. The favor was visiting with Marine Darlian as she'd asked to be allowed to see her daughter 'Relena.'

"Oh, Relena Darlian!" I had only just now noticed. That (hard worker) for the Mars terraforming, that was Darlian's daughter. In retrospect, it's pretty obvious, but I hadn't imagined the mother of Relena, who was in the frozen capsule, was still alive. What's more, I couldn't believe that the lady (herself) had been awakened 239/1/1< 2/1.="">

"How have you been, Relena?" Ms. Darlian was still calling me [Relena].

"I am Katrine, Ms. Darlian......"

"My legs have become completely weak......" she was using a wheechair to move around but the lady had lost none of her elegance. I'd heard from Iria that it was probably impossible for her to walk on her own two feet again. Due to her long hospitalization and Mars' [weak] gravity, her muscles and bones had been weakened. When the mask-clad Relena announced her candidacy in the Mars Federation's presidential election, I and everyone else had been skeptical. But when I heard her pledge that she'd take off the mask "when the election was over", I thought she might be the real deal. In fact, the unmasked face was unmistakably Relena ([as] I confirmed via the history records). Nevertheless, that didn't pacify the skeptics. It's possible to perfectly replicate [someone's looks] with plastic surgery and I couldn't ignore the possibility that she was a clone. But I thought there was no fooling the mother who had raised [her]. In my case, although Ms. Darlian had mistaken [me for Relena], there was (that much more) unrest in (the pretenders [meaning Katrine's]) that the truth couldn't be concealed. I accompanied Ms. Darlian to the Mars Federation capital, Relena City. That day, an inauguration parade was being held on a grand scale. Ms. Darlian and I leisurely watched the spectacle of Relena's limousine pa.s.sing by. A few meters ahead, the limousine suddenly came to a halt.

"Mother!" Disentangling [herself] from the SP who [tried to] hold her back, President Relena ran as a little girl [might run to us]. "Mother! It's Relena!"

It was then that, right before my eyes, a miracle occurred.

"Relena!" Ms. Darlian got up from her wheelchair. The young girl and the mother who raised her met gain after so many decades; they had tears running down their faces as they embraced. "I'm sorry, Relena...... I've caused you painful thoughts (just for my sake)."

"No, mother...... I'm delighted to get to see you again, grateful from the bottom of my heart."

I just stood by watching in amazement. Yet intuition told me their innocence and their tears were genuine. There could be no mistake: they were Marine Darlian and Relena Darlian. And a feeling I had forgotten long ago came back to me. That is, the memory of Iria hold me like (that). Feeling loved. Loving. I had utterly forgotten. Just for that, I was grateful to the two Darlians.

That evening, I was invited to the presidential residence. The cuisine that the greatest person on Mars treated me to was remarkably (frugal) and homemade.

"Thank you.... for bringing [my] mother."

"Not at all, I should be the one to thank you." Besides Ms. Darlian, a sister and brother slightly older than me were also seated at the table.

They were Relena's nephew and niece; I was told they were twins. The older sister with beautiful long blond hair was called Naina Peacecraft, the quiet younger brother with black hair was named Milu Peacecraft. They didn't look much alike, so they were probably fraternal twins [#15.5]. Naina looked at me sharply and asked this question:

"Katrine Wood Winner...... Madame is the daughter of a prestigious family, and you seem to be crossing many a dangerous bridge, yes?" It appeared that [she] had looked into my past.

"For the record, I understand [my actions] to be volunteer activities...... 240/2/4-5." As soon as I'd said that, Milu began to chuckle.

"Well, if we're talking about dangerous bridges, isn't President Relena's 'total pacifism' far more dangerous?" He blurted and [tried] hard to hide [his laughing?] 240/2/11.

"It's not funny, Milu!" Naina scolded her [quietly/secretly] laughing brother. "What you just said is inexcusable...... how dare you group her terrorist acts with Miss Relena's sublime ideals!"

"Naina, what Katrine says is reasonable. I would enjoy hearing [her] opinion."

A small smile appeared on President Relean's face.

"Well then, I'll tell you. If the Mars Federation is going to be totally pacifistic, then it's absolutely necessary to have (secret) backing from the United Earth Sphere!"

"I cannot accept that," I was told bluntly, "The Mars Federation has [seceded] from Earth...... you'd do well to remember that."

"But for the sake of maintaining peace!"

"Do you mean to say secret troubleshooting organizations like the 'Preventers' are necessary?"

[She] was cut off by Naina, "The real problem is that [having Preventers] isn't really total pacifism, right?"

The young president sighed deeply, "I believe my old friends are even now continuing on that path," tears welled up in her eyes, "It's like they said long ago: my life is cheap and it's sewer rats like us who fight......" her voice trembled, "but what about their happiness? Surely it can't be painful to keep living in a world of dark shadows [#16]. "I believe a truly perfect peace has no meaning until existences like theirs are gone."

There's no mistaking the morality of sacrificing a minority for the [benefit] of the majority. But it's necessary to have the sacrificing minority agree.

"I agree. If it makes everyone happy, I'll do whatever it takes......" I took pride in never having had 'pride.'

"Step into the light, Katrine...... how many differences are there between you and me? You don't need to think any more painful thoughts......"

"...... but I......"

Milu flitted before me and my voice caught hesitantly in my throat. An angelic smile crossed his face and he [put] both hands to my face.

"......what?" I thought my cheeks were surely turning red.

Milu took off my gla.s.ses, "See, just as I thought......" [He] looked intently at me. "You're eyes are more beautiful than the Earth [itself]," and he pressed a violin into my hands.

"......"

Milu didn't say anything more. He seemed pretty much like a silent [type of guy]. It was embarra.s.sing but-- no, because it was embarra.s.sing I started playing the violin. I played 'Ave Maria' in an improvisational style. Milu slowly [started to play] a flute and matched the melody I was playing. I was timid at first but gradually got bolder. I looked at his eyes. His gentle smile was the same. His warm look was dazzling. And the tone of taciturn Milu's flue was very telling. The performance, which was filled with colors, moved on and on, imploring us to follow. I played with all my heart to match the tempo. When the piece changed to minor, I suddenly remembered a feeling that was akin to being enveloped in gentle warmth. It felt exactly as though someone were calling out for me to follow. When I finally thought I'd caught up, he slowed the tempo and this time, it was like [having someone] pressing my back the way the flute now followed [my] violin phrasing. Now, he was telling me to take the lead. I screwed up the courage and took the lead. I ran my bow over the strings feeling embarra.s.sed, like being made to dance in the nude. And yet I discovered a great up-lifiting of my spirit. Before I realized it, [I was feeling] the (pleasant) sensation that the freedom of playing straight from the heart [brought]. Suddenly, I realized Milu had stopped playing and was beaming at me. I had been performing solo. Improvising, I had mixed the melodies of Scheherazade and gypsy. I lost my embarra.s.sment. I performed the solo as if to say "This is me." And next, I would [give] him the main melody. "I'm in your hands," I said with a jerk of my chin (and look from my eyes).

"Leave it to me," he said with a nod. Milu's solo continued for fourteen measures. How spirited was the beautiful sound [he made]. His upper register was particularly clear. His performance oozed with his pure/innocent personality. When that melody rose, he signaled me with his eyes. "This is the climax, play with me," he said with a wave of his flute. I accompanied him with my harmony. Milu gave me a little wink; this time, he took charge of the harmony and I played the melody. The tempo increased several times over but there was neither confusion nor a stutter in our performance. We repeated the melody again and again; it was like floating in a unique spiral until we reached the climax. When we reached the pinnacle, he deliberately fell into a slow temp and (made me) draw the melody of the Ave Maria out of thin air. I had a twinge of fatigue that was close to mild dizziness. Relena and Naina and Ms. Darlian applauded us with tears in their eyes. Milu was also clapping.

On second thought, it was really embarra.s.sing. Milu extended his hand and so I shook it. It was warm (and warm). That duet had been my greatest performance. The night was exactly like a dream---
***
MC-0022 Next Winter
It was getting close to time to play the final movement of the War Sonata. Getting away from the gun Trowa Phobos has leveled [at me] would probably be the most difficult task. I decided to use slightly cowardly means. He ought to only be able to (simulate) as many (patterns) for the future as he could think of. I wouldn't survive this danger if [my plan] wasn't better than want he had predicted.

"Listen, Phobos...... Doktor said this before but, I'm not as nice as I look."

"Don't move...... and don't speak." I looked at the dial of the watch that I was wearing on the inside of my left wrist. Thirty more seconds. "Put your hands up." I did as I was told. Phobos gave me order after order. "Get out of the c.o.c.kpit."

I made my [own] pulse rate go up, "......" Now, my watch would be able to react to the speed of my pulse [#17].

Twenty seconds later, a beam of light shot out from my watch.

"......!?"

After pus.h.i.+ng the self-destruct b.u.t.ton, Phobos wrapped his arms around me and he pushed us out [of the suit].

"That hat, it really suited you!" So saying, I put my lips to his. It was my first kiss.

Phobos' eyes got real big, "!!......?......?!"

That had probably far exceeded anything he had predicted. The instant we hit the desert, Ras.h.i.+d self-destructed.

"Sorry, Ras.h.i.+d." Using the explosion to my advantage, I ran over to my half-broken hovercraft. In the hangar was the incomplete Prometheus. It was exactly the rendezvous time. Up in the sky, a huge high-speed transport came up. The craft collected me and Prometheus, hovercraft and all. In the c.o.c.kpit, Naina and Milu were waiting. Milu's smiling face was the same as ever. Naina's face was even cooler than before.

"How about an encore?"

"Roger."

A virtual keyboard had already been set up. I performed the third movement of the War Sonata. The last three minutes thirty seconds of the war began. The remaining mobile doll Maganacs once again stood facing Snow White and Warlock. They'd promised us plenty of time to make our escape.

"They made a neat getaway, huh......"

"...... I underestimated them......"

We could intermittently hear Heero and Duo's conversation.

I had broken from my family.

"Bye bye, everyone......"

Good bye, Quatre.

Good bye, Iria.

"And, I'm sorry......"

Then, I apologized to Milu, "Sorry, Milu."

He blankly c.o.c.ked his head, "......?"

"Why apologize to Milu?" Naina asked.

I couldn't say there [on the s.h.i.+p], how Milu wasn't my first kiss.

"Huh. Guess I made a mistake, I did......" I fibbed. But I'd made a decision. [A decision] to help realize Relena's total pacifism.