Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu. - LightNovelsOnl.com
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Therefore I think today is an important day as I announce this new resolution to the world. This highschool, part of Yougetsu Academy which takes students all the way from elementary school to university, boasts the greatest number of pupils amongst the local highscools and had a large number of extra-curricular clubs. Today, that number will be increased by one. The Twintails Club – our club – will be added. As I completed the administrative process for using a club room during recess, all I have to do is wait for the approval of the club formation. I took out the nameplate with the words ‘Twintails Club’ from my bag and stared at it with infinitely deep emotions. It was a brand new nameplate, made in the technology cla.s.sroom over lunch break. Confirming the touch of the smooth ivory-like surface, I probed the curves of the engraved lettering one by one. If you write the word ‘twintails’ in a gothic font it feels like the embodiment of cuteness, but if it is expressed in a Mincho font it seems so solemn, almost making you straighten your posture under the gravity. I stopped at the end of the club building corridor. Although rather far from my cla.s.sroom, from today onwards this is our clubroom. I took off the white sign indicating a free room and put on the new nameplate. “So it’s the Twintails Club...” The word ‘twintails’ is truly fascinating. Even if you just say it like this, the very sound coming out of my throat makes me happy. Everyone must have hummed to a tune in the bath or shower without realizing it. For me, there are many times when I belatedly think ‘oh, I just said twintails again’. In addition when I just look at the very letters, I feel content and enlightened, as if I am meditating about the philosophy of the universe. Even with my new ability to wear twintails, I am making fresh discoveries every day. And I will make even greater ones in this club. “Alright, I’ve made an official club, so let’s try hard to make it grow!”
As I opened door with my new determination – “Oh Souji-sama! I’m so glad you’re here! Please say something to this beast! Tell it that unless it starts to act like a human I will give it away to the animal rearing club!!” – the two girls who had come here sharing the same feelings were having a catfight. My elated emotions went away at the speed of light. And...one was sprawled on the floor unlike her vibrant att.i.tude and the other was on top of her on a mounting position, as if she would never let go even if she died. This was only an encounter between predator and prey and could not be called a fight. “You’re the animal! Why are you showing your b.o.o.bs!!” My childhood friend and the person most sympathetic to twintails, Tsube Aika, was the predator in the situation. “I tried to turn around and show my bra and panties through my uniform with a cute scream when Souji-sama came in, but Aika-san obstructed me!!” And Twoearle, a visitor from another world who entrusted me with her twintails, was the prey. Her clothes were loosened in several places, perhaps from the relentless a.s.sault. As per usual the two girls were playing together in a friendly way. During recess the well-cleaned floor, windows and walls...turned into a specially set up wrestling ring. “And also, why are you in school right now! Surely there has to be some sort of procedure!” “Do not worry, both the test and paperwork have been submitted and the only thing left is to finalize the entry date! So Aika-san, please restrain your abnormally violent expression of youth in school! And why are you making me do the cowgirl position with you!” “It’s not a c-cowgirl position! This is a mount, a mount okay! Who would do it with someone like you...” “You are blus.h.i.+ng! You imagined it you pervert! You were riding a guy in your imaginations, right? But for a flat chest like you with no bouncing b.o.o.bs, it wouldn’t even be funny to do it cowgirl!” “...I guess so. But I’m very good at making other people bounce around!” “Stop..ah...my..brain..is shaking...” Aika leapt on the slightly undressed Twoearle and delivered a chain of attacks from an inescapable mount. No wait, you’re shaking too, Aika. Your twintails at least. “Twoearle, just surrender... Aika, please just stop now!” “Surrender..? You can’t give up, this isn’t some sort of combat sport” “I want to! Please say I can!!” ...this is just an everyday occurrence. With this inelegant scene unfolding, like on any other day, I guess Twoearle will soon adjust to this school. Unfortunately not just in a good way.
Aika and I use our love for twintails to transform into ‘Twintails’ in order to fight invaders from another universe. This morning on the way to school we took down an Elemerian – a monster which had declared war on the whole world. It had the appearance of a tiger and had an obsession for school swimsuits. Such days continued until a short while ago, when the fighting came to a pause when we defeated the enemy commander. Taking advantage of this break, Twoearle decided to join Yougetsu Academy. Originally today was supposed to be her first day but due to the incident with the Elemerian this morning, she said that the timing would not match and delayed the date of her entry. She was preparing something like an introduction yesterday, but I have a bad feeling about that. Furthermore in order to take responsibility for my actions, I decided to make the club I had carelessly written on the club questionnaire... I decided to officially create the Twintails Club. “Protect twintails and protect the world. That is the aims of our Twintails Club. Now let’s go for it!” Aika released the mount of death on Twoearle and stoop up. “Well, it can’t be helped then. Those perverts won’t stop coming, so we may as well do it properly.” “Aika-san’s so-called playing also will not stop coming, so for how much longer must I endure this? At this rate both my mind and my body will end up breaking...” Having escaped from Aika’s attacks, Twoearle recovered at an amazing speed as per usual and immediately adjusted her clothing. Every day the two went on well and had playfights. Perhaps this was due to their compatibility – Twoearle had an incredibly strong body as she was from another world while Aika was the kind of person who thought with their fists. As the clubroom had been secured, I suggested to Twoearle what must be done first. “So Twoearle, I have a request. Can you do it?” “I understand! I will strip immediately!!” Aika grabbed Twoearle’s hand which she had put up so confidently, placed a hand on her narrow waistline, spun her around two...no three times and finally shoved her onto the floor. “So what do want, Souji?” “I want to ask a favor to you as well. Please behave more quietly.” “Yes...say, that...Live quietly and unnoticeably...just like your b.o.o.bs...” Twoearle voiced her approval feebly, like a victim in a horror movie slowly die from a curse. “So Twoearle, could you modify this room like the underground base in our house? I guess we’ll need quite a few things, like a transportation device to move quickly to the base. ...oh, and I recommend you change the material of the floor to something softer; otherwise there may be a risk to your life.” “Thank you for thinking about me, Souji-sama! You are right, we need to modify this room. Just now I realized the need for defensive structures such as anti-barbarian traps.” Twoearle stood up with glaring eyes. I’m scared of Aika, who is remaining calm even though she blatantly knows that she is the subject of the conversation. Shown by her attempts to use technology to improve her offensive capability rather than defensive ones, it seems that Twoearle hates losing as much as Aika.
Aika and I were leaning on the corridor wall while waiting for Twoearle to finish modifying the room. She had said that the room wouldn’t take more than an hour to finish – after all, she had built the enormous underground base in one night. As if she had become the crane from the Crane’s Repayment (a j.a.panese folk tale), she stuck a sign on the door saying ‘do not enter’. As expected strange sounds similar to the ones from that night when the base was built could be heard. Urisekke. Nyakerropa. Shohaha. Karopereprepopu. Fumuememe, komiinmyoimyoi. “...what is that awkward noise which seems to look just wrong when you try to express it in letters?” I was relieved that the feeling was shared between all humanity, but Aika tried to open the door. I stopped her with all my might – after all, Twoearle might return to her original world if we saw her working. “...anyways, I guess it’s kinda surprising that there’s such a nice clubroom which we could use.” That was pretty obvious. Although our school was enormous, there was finite s.p.a.ce which the students could use. A newly formed club only consisting of three people finding such a nice clubroom at the end of April was nothing short of a miracle.
Well, technically speaking I guess there is a reason. “Oh the thing is, this place used to be shut off up till now. Apparently there were lots of rumours of ghosts appearing here. There are a lot of rumours, like how a girl committed suicide in this very spot a long time ago.” “Wait really?! Then why did they give such an ill-omened room to us?” “After I said to the teacher that you were in our club, the teacher said ‘I guess it’ll be fine then~’ and let us use it.” Our cla.s.s teacher was easy to persuade as she did things differently to other teachers and glossed over the details. “Hey you! What do you think I am! And that teacher too!” “Now listen carefully, Aika. Elemerians are essentially a physical embodiment of a mind’s desires. In other words they are quite similar to ghosts. So why are you being so scared now.” Aika took a deep breath and cast a side glance at me. “...so if a ghost appears... take responsibility and protect me.” “What? Oh, okay then...” Why is she suddenly being so shy – is Aika that afraid of ghosts? To be honest I have no memories of Aika being scared of anything. “It’s finished~ And please stop being so sneaky.” Twoearle opened the door and beckoned us to come in. Aika and I walked in quickly. For some reason, Aika clicked her tongue in disapproval. “With this, the disguise is perfect!” A whiteboard. A bookshelf. A table for meetings and folding chairs. A cabinet. Although this was a clubroom furnished with only the bare essentials, Twoearle said that this had all been made with her special technology. “Why didn’t you show us what you were doing.” Aika said with a pout. “Well that’s a secret~” Twoearle winked and placed her index finger on her lip. Aika rubbed her temples while she grinded her teeth. It seems that she still had a spiteful dislike for Twoearle’s feminine actions. “Aren’t you curious Souji? You can’t be unconcerned about exactly what she’s doing!” “Well, maybe..?” I am curious. But my instincts tell me that it would be better not to know. Perhaps if I find out, I’ll never be able to go back... “Instead I will show you one of the room’s features. Aika-san, please sit on that chair over there,” “This one?” When Twoearle saw that Aika had sat down on the chair with armrests, she undid a b.u.t.ton on her school blouse and took out a remote from between her b.o.o.bs. Why doesn’t she just keep it in her pocket? “Switch on!!” As she pressed the remote some objects loosely resembling bear traps came out of the floor and secured Aika’s legs tightly to the chair while a clamp came out from the armrests and locked her wrists. “...what is this.” Aika said in a cold voice, looking down at her completely restrained body. “Hahahaha! It seems that curiosity has killed the cat, Aika-san! Escape is impossible from that situation! Behold, the anti-Aika system mark 2, Icaughtyouaika~!” As if she had achieved something great, Twoearle pointed at Aika and boasted. “Now, what should I do. Maybe I should draw on those flat b.o.o.bs of yours, which seems to be the perfect flatness for a kindergartener to draw on with a crayon. Or should I take off my bra right here and put it on you, so that you sustain irreversibly great psychological damage..?” Aika, tightly fixed to the chair appeared like a prisoner awaiting electrocution but did not feel shaken in the least by Twoearle moving in closer to her with the intent to play a prank. Aika breathed in from her nose and “Fhn!” A short fighting cry. Aika moved her arms so that they crossed in front of her chest and destroyed the seemingly strong shackles. “Thi... this can’t be happening, even the anti-Aika system mark 2 has failed?!” Ignoring the now distressed Twoearle, Aika stood up overflowing with confidence. It seems that facing anti-Aika systems without transforming is her policy, in a way. “Did you really think that you would catch me with a system operated by a remote placed between your b.o.o.bs?” Aika broke the remaining shackles on her wrists with brute force and tossed them aside. When Twoearle realized that the intense stare was directed at her cleavage, she covered her mouth and turned away as if embarra.s.sed. “Ah Aika-san, you perv☆” Twoearle received a powerful punch and fell down to the floor. Judging by what the tone of her voice just then, ☆s should be floating in front of her eyes. Why is there more physical activity here than the sports clubs?
Twoearle placed a case the size of a pizza box on the table, having taken it out of her gown pocket. Of course it has to be a pocket which has transcended conventional science. “Hm, so you can’t put things of that size in between your b.o.o.bs then?” Aika was sitting down on a chair with her legs crossed over, wearing a victor’s smile. “Why are you acting like you won...” “It is alright, Souji-sama. Listening kindly to the words of those with inferior b.o.o.bs is a duty of the large-breasted people.” “Gu, gi...” Maybe because she was the one who had started the provocation, Aika sat there gripping her pathetic b.o.o.bs so hard that it looked like they were being julienned. “The mission of the n.o.ble b.r.e.a.s.t.s (n.o.blesse oblige)... those with superior b.o.o.bs must help those without... It is only because of these words which I keep close to my chest do I restrain myself from retaliating to your violence. Because, of, these enormous b.o.o.bs.” Twoearle bounced her large b.o.o.bs up and down as if she were bouncing two b.a.l.l.s. Seeing this, a large quant.i.ty of blood flowed out from between Aika’s lips, making her look like she was having hematemesis. “I see... so with great b.r.e.a.s.t.s there comes great responsibility.” “That’s right! Oh? Oh! Souji-sama, did you just develop an interest in b.o.o.bs?” “What? No, not really... anyways what’s inside that box?” Although those awe-inspiring words made me support b.o.o.bs, my real curiosity was about the contents of the box. “Well, I made it to commemorate the founding of the Twintails Club!” As I opened the box I saw three smartphone-like devices inside. “These are the tools for the Twintails. I made three, so please take one.” “Whoa!” At the end of the day I am a boy. So it is obvious that I find new machines exciting. What made me happier than anything else was the fact that Twoearle had prepared three of them – that means she remembered what I had said about the three of us being the Twintails. “High performance telecommunications device, namely the Twoearlephone!” “...Twoearlephone, doesn’t that make you even slightly embarra.s.sed?” “Not at all, why?” Aika closed her mouth at the nonchalant response. The two anti-Aika systems which had both been destroyed, then this Twoearlephone. Who knows, maybe she might make something named after me next. “Not only does this make calls from underground, in the ocean and in deep s.p.a.ce, it can also act as a voice changer, ma.s.s spectrometer and various other devices with updates.” As with the Tailgear, why does she emphasise that it can be used in s.p.a.ce?! I imagined how twintails would move in s.p.a.ce, with reference to various principles of twintail dynamics. Twoearle picked up on of the Twoearlephones and showed it to us. “If you use your bracelets to communicate, as you have done up till now, it might look suspicious to other people. One of the features of this Twoearlephone is the ability encrypt the content of the conversation in real time. Sound has traditionally been the weak point of recognition changing devices, after all.” “That’s amazing!” “Eh? What does that mean?” Aika, not really into machines, had little clue what we were talking about. “To make this simple... say Souji-sama shouts “have the Ultima Guil appeared?!” Those words will reach us clearly by the Twoearlephone, but to the people standing nearby it would sound something like “what’s for dinner tonight?”” This is an incredibly simple yet amazing piece of technology. “Thanks Twoearle. Trying to hide our ident.i.ty is quite stressful. With this, at least communications should be fine now!” “Ehehe~, please pat my b.o.o.bs as a reward.” “I’m sorry~ tell me how to use this thing!” As if trying to do a tsukkomi, Aika reb.u.t.ted Twoeale. “...well, fine. The basic usage is identical to a normal smartphone. Souji-sama, would you be as kind to call me as a demonstration?” “Right. I’ll do it.” “Yes! Please call me to your heart’s extent!!” I don’t know why her face reddened and pupils widened in antic.i.p.ation; instead I just called Twoearle’s number which happened to be already registered. “Twintail twintail, twintail? (Have the Ultima Guil appeared?)” “Ah, ah, I am behind you right now, showing my b.o.o.bs scantily clad by black lingerie~ (Please deploy quickly Souji-sama!)” This is amazing. The correct answer to what I had said definitely came back from the Twoearlephone and the changed voice on Twoearle’s had also come back faintly. I think it had something to do with being scantily clad... But the problem is I don’t know how my voice became changed. “What was that, on Souji’s side! It sounds likes some b.l.o.o.d.y ancient twintail language!!” “The fact that Souji-sama is obsessed with twintails is surprisingly well known, so I thought this would be perfect...” An ancient twintail language. I would love to major in it at university, but could it be used in everyday situations? It would be more of an attention-seeking feature rather than a disguise. Aika picked up her own Twoearlephone. “I’ll try now, Souji.” “Okay... So Aika’s number is...” Aika’s number was second in the contacts list, after Twoearle’s. Above the kanji for Tsube Aika were the words ‘d.a.m.ned b.i.t.c.h’; was she thinking about dogs when she made this? “Twin twin twintail, twin twin twin, twintail! (Aika, let’s hurry to the scene!)” “Gehahahahahaha, I wanna eat raw meaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat! I want it raw, raw! I love it raw! Because I’m a b.i.t.c.h! (How is it? Can you hear me properly? There’s nothing weird right?)” The ancient twintails language was completely drowned out by the almost demonic sound which could be heard from the ear not on the Twoearlephone. “Right! Aika-san’s voice has been changed perfectly!” “Really? Let’s see then.” Aika took out her own phone from her skirt pocket and pressed its screen. “Um... Aika-san... what...” 『Gehahahahahaha, I wanna eat raw meaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat! I want it raw, raw! I love it raw! Because I’m a b.i.t.c.h!』 Aika had recorded her modified voice as she did not trust Twoearle. So that’s why she had me show her how to record stuff on her phone... With a powerful throw only seen in the last innings of the national finals of a highschool baseball compet.i.tion, Aika pitched her Twoearlephone against the wall. “The Twoearlephone-!! I wanted to upgrade it later to link it with the Tailbrace to make a transformation phone.” “Screw a transformation phone. Those are s.h.i.+t phones anyway!” “Hey are you trying to antagonize all of the heroes out there who transform using their phones...” I picked up the Twoearlephone Aika had thrown. Luckily it seemed to be intact. If it could survive Aika’s throws, it would definitely function with ease in the depths of the sea and in outer s.p.a.ce. “This is too far, Aika; she made it just for us. You can just change the voice modifier.” “it might be fine for you because it’s something you like but for me...” “Wait, Aika. Be quiet...” I suddenly noticed a feeling which seemed to penetrate me slightly then come out again, so I cut off Aika and stood up from my seat. “...I can feel the twintails. It’s coming towards here.” “What?! Why are you suddenly talking like an Elemerian!” “Yeah you can talk!” I am much more logical than Aika, who had trained her five senses so that she could use her instincts to detect threats around her without relying upon sight. Right after that. A tap on the door. A quiet knock could be heard in the room, “This is the student council president s.h.i.+ndou Erina. May I enter?” “-what?!” The visit from a completely unexpected person led to a slight state of panic in the room. “P-please wait!” I said that and desperately looked around. I could make the Twoearlephone pa.s.s for something else, and there shouldn’t be something which shouldn’t be seen, right..? “Twoearle, is there anything which needs hiding?” “Oh, other than this, no!” Twoearle pointed at Aika. With a perfectly straight face. Aika struck Twoearle’s face with her elbow and followed up with a headlock to devastating effect. However this was an emergency situation so I had no leisure to pay attention to this now common spectacle. In reality in a scenario like the student council president’s visit, Twoearle could be right. “C-come in!” It was a mindless situation but I had to let her in at some point.
“Well excuse my entry.” The moment the door opened, the air – changed. Footsteps so elegant that a refres.h.i.+ng noise could have been heard. The student council president who was accompanied by a maid seemed to be a princess from a different country. There even seemed to be a sense of incongruity, as if a pure princess had walked into a blood-stained amphitheater. President s.h.i.+ndou Erina. A s.h.i.+ning twintail wearer, who had captured my heart since the day of the entrance ceremony. Her golden twintails flowing in a 八 shape brought images of a bridal veil to mind. “Ah, ahh...” I still haven’t got used to it. It’s almost scarily captivating. “...and the person over there is–“ The president looked straight at Twoearle, who was as expected too conspicuous to be seen as an ordinary student. Before I could think of an excuse the president opened her mouth first. “I have heard that a female student has completed the admissions process today, is that you?” “Yes. She is my relative from overseas. I'm sorry. She begged me to show her around the school before she officially joined...” Quickly I explained to her with our planned ‘cover’. Of course the student council, responsible for thousands of students, knew about a transfer. “So it is, then please tour the school to your heart’s content and I hope you will enjoy your time here.” As the president said this with a smiling face, Twoearle nodded without speaking. There was a part of me which worried that the school authorities may have said something about an outsider’s entry, but I could relax for now. However when the president looked at the doc.u.ment in her hand, her smile disappeared at once only to be replaced by a hard expression. Although previously I had seen her kind side when talking to others or her pure belief in TailRed, she was now fulfilling her duties as the student council president, with the expression of a person who stood over others. “There was a thing which concerned me in the paperwork for a new club. I wanted to clarify that for myself before authorizing it thus I came down here to see for myself.” “I’m sorry for making you do that.” My tongue was all tangled, but I barely managed to squeeze out a voice. “You wrote here that your club activities were researching and protecting twintails.” “Of course.” I could not gloss over that. With the most serious face I could manage, I looked at the president’s twintails and gave a reply. People have told me that when talking to someone, looking in their eyes is a basic courtesy. However, when I am addressing someone’s twintails, I think that it is respectful to look at their twintails. If I say something here she might think that this is a suspicious club, with an unusual name and weird activities. In other words this could be described as a crucial battle. “Mitsuka-kun. Do you... like twintails?” “I really like them.” I answered straight away, so naturally that it felt no different to breathing. I don’t know whether my sincerity got through to her or not, but she followed up with another question. “Why do you love twintails so much? And why to the extent you would set up a club for it.” “Must there be a reason to love twintails?” The moment I said that, I saw the president’s twintails tremble minutely. I thought a person with such amazing twintails would understand, but... how should I say it. She made a complicated face and closed her mouth. No... she might be testing me like this because she has such magnificent twintails. A test to see whether I had the courage to voice my opinion in front of such radiant twintails. I won’t lose, student council president. Look at me. Are these eyes the eyes of a liar?! And look deep into my mind, where the world’s greatest twintails lives– The fight between twintail and twintail ended with the president nodding in approval. “Is that so... I understand.” Conscious that there may be another area of concern, Aika asked a question. “Is the activity content an issue?” “No, there is no problem. A club which loves twintails will probably have some connection to supporting the Twintails.” That is right. I would be lying if I said that if I had not used this to my advantage. As long as the entire school supports the Twintails, I calculated that a club focused on researching twintails would not be rejected. “...oh my?” The president looked straight at my right hand. “Mitsuka-kun, even though this is a clubroom, flashy accessories are still prohibited under school regulations, you know?” “...yes?!” I tried to bury my right arm in my chest. “A TailRed design. I see a lot of those lately.” As I hear something more shocking, I cannot understand the situation. As there have been a continuous stream of Twintails related merchandise recently, the same bracelet should not raise too many suspicions. But that is not the problem. When I looked at Aika almost by instinct, she had hidden her arm behind her back. “Ojou-sama, it is time now.” The president nodded at the words of the maid who had accompanied her. “Alright. Well then, I hope that you do well as the Twintails Club.” The president had probably spliced her already busy schedule in order to come here and with my mouth half-open, I waved her goodbye. The maid looked at me and spoke. “Sorry for taking your time. But your look back then was very good. I could feel your sincerity.” “Th-thank you.” The maid spoke like a knowledgeable teacher and followed the president out of the room. It is nice to be complemented... but now is not the time for those kind of thoughts.
“Hey, hey... what is the meaning of this, Twoearle! You said that the Tailbrace was invisible to normal people before transforming!” “It should be!” She had said that thanks to the effects of the Imagine Chaff the bracelet itself was invisible to normal people and in reality, n.o.body had seen it, not even when I was changing for sport lessons. “Could this be a weakness which Twoearle didn’t expect? For example, that the recognition modification effect is not as effective against people with the twintails attribute.” “If she could see due to her twintails attribute, other students with that Elemera from TailRed’s influence should be able to see it too.” “But the president’s Elemera is so strong that she was targeted several times by the Ultima Guil, right?” Twoearle wanted to say something to counter that, but resigned. “...I see. The recognition modification device is the most important thing in order to prevent major disturbances to your lifestyle. Just in case I will do some maintenance on your bracelets tonight.” “Then I’ll leave it to you.” I was sorry for Twoearle. Because I questioned her abilities. However I could not just ignore this. Depending on the situation this could have major consequences. “I will take an especially close look at Aika’s one.” “Why just my one? Is there a problem or something?” “Yes. Looking at the fights up till now it seems that the defensive capabilities of your Tailgear is too strong. I think I will have to adjust it so that the breast part of it breaks off even with a slight pull, you know, like in an ecchi anime.” “Why do you have to do something stupid like that!!” “You are still worried that only TailBlue is unpopular. You might as well market yourself as the stripping character! Even though you have pitiful b.o.o.bs which look like a paper tray on an inkjet printer, if you just show them there will be a slight possibility that you will gain some popularity among the more hardcore people!!” “Oh, the Twoearlephone flew off!!” “Gueri!” The phone which had become like a ufo embedded itself in Twoearle’s face. Its propulsion was not some sort of magical energy but the force exerted by a human’s arm. I hope I’m overthinking things... but something similar happened before. When I was talking about TailRed, I felt the president’s gaze on me and I could sense her mixed emotions... Has president s.h.i.+ndou... started to suspect something about me-?!
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There are infinitely many ‘worlds’. Not just countries, planets or galaxies. There are countless parallel universes which contain all of the above. It is not an easy concept to get your head around. This ma.s.sive universe, which we have not even detected the boundary of, is only a tiny speck and several trillions of them are spread out in various gradations. People do not know this. That a remarkable similar world exists just on the other side of a thin wall. And that there are monsters which abuse this fact to repeatedly invade. –Ultima Guil, invaders from another world. An organization made up of Elemerians, monsters who live off the power inside people’s minds, known as Elemera. They were born in a different world where technology was advanced enough to the extent that people’s mental strength could be converted to energy. Eventually their numbers grew and formed an organization, centered around a great leader ruling over them. The main goal of the Ultima Guil is to take all of the twintails Elemera from all the worlds. And for that they have a highly cla.s.sified plan. When they first invade they would purposely leak some of their overtechnology to the one with the strongest twintail Elemera as to create a warrior which would oppose them. When the powerful and inspirational guardian had planted the twintails Elemera in the other peoples of the world, they would come in at once and take all of the Elemera. This was their most practical and effective tactic, having conquered almost all of the worlds in this way. However... –TailRed. The young female warrior with the strongest twintail Elemera overcame despair and fought valiantly to destroy the Ultima Guil’s dark plans. They made two critical miscalculations. Firstly Twoearle, who had seen her own word fall to the very same practice, came before them to hand over technology to Mitsuka Souji. Secondly, TailRed or Mitsuka Souji was completely obsessed with twintails. The commander of the invasion force for this universe, Drag Guildy, was defeated in the final fight with TailRed without ever suspecting that his opponent was actually a boy, thus Souji thought that the invasions against his world was over. However the Ultima Guil is an organization of immense size. Led by a one-of-a-kind leader there were several battalions, all conquering different worlds. And a division was now gathering in Souji’s world–
The late Drag Guildy’s base. In the grand conference room several Elemerians were sitting around with dark faces. Sparrow Guildy was present, a warrior with the mild air of a sparrow as well as incredible astuteness. His shoulders sagged even further when he heard the reports of his subordinates who had just burst into the room. “Sir, I have a report! Tiger Guildy-sama was defeated by the Twintails!” “d.a.m.n... as I feared...” Tiger Guildy, the ace of the school swinsuit attribute. He was the commander of the first reinforcements which had joined this world’s unit, but was lacking in combat prowess in comparison to his sworn friend Drag Guildy; he was not a match for the Twintails in a head-to-head fight. “He was captivated by their twintails... and could not execute his powers.” “Furthermore it seems that TailRed’s clothing resembled a school swimsuit, leading him to defeat.” A subordinate showed the footage of the fight which a combat drone had filmed on the screen of the conference room. There, the image of Tiger Guildy lying down on his back in a position of defeat at TailRed’s feet was projected. If this were a kitten the immense cuteness would make even the most hard-hearted smile, but the being pathetically sprawled on the floor had a muscular body and the face of a tiger. On the screen, TailRed was backpedaling in fear. 『What.. what are you... lying down on your back... 』 『Young girl with such a radiant school swimsuit! I beg of you! Think of my stomach as the sea, and swim powerfully across it!』 『Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa it’s a perveeeeeeeeert!!!』 TailRed was in despair, but behind TailBlue was spinning her spear, calm as if this was a common occurrence. 『This always happens!』 As soon as Tiger Guildy saw TailBlue’s rather skimpy outfit, he gave a blatant sign of disgust and cried out. 『Begone, you impure thing! Such a swimsuit with so little fabric, is merely toilet paper for a water closet in comparison to the magnificence of school swimsuits! Now apologize heartfully to this little girl!』 The projection showed TailBlue’s yakuza-like face and wide open eyes and ended there. “...after this she inflicted a critical blow on Tiger Guildy without speaking... TailBlue is a ruthless and terrifying warrior.” Having heard this report Sparrow Guildy grabbed at his own hair in frustration. ‘Even though I gained control of this unit from the dead Drag Guildy, I continue the conquest for twintails with burning pa.s.sion!’ – Although this sounded nice, in truth he had partially given up. The Twintails are too strong. As he had been staff officer under Drag Guildy, acting as a close aide, he definitely knew of the true plan behind the invasion, spreading Elemera in order to increase efficiency. Therefore when the commander and ultimate warrior Drag Guildy, who was supposed to deliver the final blow in the operation, had fallen, in reality his aide Sparrow Guildy and the whole unit collapsed. The young underlings, unknowing of the true plan, were clamoring for revenge, but if this was to continue, this would all end truly in vain. The commander of the reinforcements, Tiger Guildy, fell and only his subordinates were left. Sparrow Guildy now became the de facto leader of two units, but for him, who was unconfident in his fighting ability, the enemies were overpoweringly strong. “This is, the price...” Because up till now he had not bothered to train his men in order for efficiency only the commander was strong while the rest were incapable, giving the unit an unhealthy composition of ma.s.ses of weaklings lead by one strong leader. The other units were the same. Furthermore a heroic leader like Drag Guildy was hard to find even among other unit commanders. So this is the limit... Must I persuade my men to withdraw from this world. The moment he thought these weak thoughts without realizing– Another subordinate ran in quickly. “Sparrow Guildy-sama! A new unit has arrived!” “...so it seems, but the thing is...” “It is Levia Guildy-sama’s unit!” “OH?!” Sparrow Guildy stood up without thinking. Levia Guildy was a cla.s.smate of Drag Guildy. There was widely spread praise that his skills were equal to those of Drag Guildy’s too. Another report came in to Sparrow Guildy, who had discovered a small hope. “Krake Guildy-sama’s unit is also here!!” “What did you just say?! Are you sure?!” “Yes... I am sure.” And Krake Guildy was a warrior who had a stubborn rivalry with Levia Guildy. His reputation spread after always achieving practical results on the battlefield, with little regard to the organization’s protocols. “Hm, how can this be... There is n.o.body in the Ultima Guild senior command who do not know that the two see each other as rivals... And to put the two into the very same unit...” Soon, a disturbance would spring up in this unit.
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Souji opened the door of the café, which was also his house, ringing the cowbell quietly. “Mom, I’m back.” “Welcome home Souji~” My mother replied while frantically moving around the café. “Oh?” What in the world, apart from the counter all of the tables were full with customers! I shouldn’t really say this, but until now there had never been so many customers in the café (mostly thanks to the laxity of a certain owner). Recently, I feel that the number of patrons is growing. I should have just come in by the back door. “Sorry, can you help me for a sec?” “Oh, okay.” As my mother would not be able to handle the workload I decided to help out. “Yes mother! I will help as well!” Twoearle set out as if it was obvious. As this was not the first time Aika had lent a hand here, she was making preparations as soon as I had said that I would help. “You’re fine! You might put something weird in a cup!!” “I am perfectly ordinary when I am with anyone but you, Aika-san!” “You’re extremely messed up when it comes to Souji!!” I signaled the two bickering girls to calm down with a stare. Please, not in front of the normal customers. “Thank you for your patience.” Twoearle with her waitress ap.r.o.n send the ordered coffee to the patron’s table with an elegant movement, just like a figure skater. Those voluptuous b.o.o.bs raised the cloth up so that the ap.r.o.n was barely hiding her lower body... but as always, she was wearing her white gown. “Your coffee is here.” In a complete contrast Aika was putting down coffee on another table, speaking in a very professional tone. Here, there was no excess strain on her ap.r.o.n, with a surface as flat as a tranquil lake. My mother was looking at the two satisfied, spinning a coffee mill on the counter. However... maybe it’s just me, but the atmosphere of this place feels odd. Not due to the sudden appearance of waitresses, but... it’s due to the incongruousness of the patrons. I tried to stop it, but did Twoearle and Aika’s conversation annoy them? As I was pondering my question a male customer vigorously opened the door and came in. “Excuse me, master... water... and a newspaper... could you show me today’s newspaper?” He was speaking as he went across to the counter to down the cup of cold water my mother had prepared for him. He looked like a tired salaryman, with a creased suit, bent tie and unshaven face. “...here...” The man received with shaking hands the newspaper my mother had handed over. “April... 25th... thank goodness, I’m back...” Oh, wait. What is this guy. In surprise I looked around at the other customers but n.o.body took any notice. Only I... and Aika widened our eyes. In front of the man who had barely put on a relaxed face, my mother gently put down a cup of coffee. Hey, dear guest. What are you looking at? “Master, I...” My mother started speaking as if to show the man that she understood everything. For no apparent reason while cleaning a cup from the cupboard she said: “...if you ever become lost in time, come to this place. In the past... present... future. The coffee here will always taste the same...” “Thank you, master... I’ll be back. I need to, exist as myself...” After he coolly put down a 10000 yen note on the counter, he seemed to fade away gradually into the light coming in from the open door. That was fast. Only a minute. Why was he here? “Mom... that guy seemed like you knew him... Are you friends or something?” “Nope, never met him before.” “Who is that guy!!” He didn’t fade into the light but disappeared during the awkward and unknown atmosphere! After saying some really random things! “You were speaking as if you knew what was going on!” “I kinda know what sort of reply he wanted. I had similar conversations with your father every day.” “What...” No way... The source of incongruousness in the café was... Trying to be as natural as possible, I looked around the patrons in the café. There was a gentleman with a fedora and tuxedo with a cup right in front of his face, enjoying the smell. If I said that his outfit looked like it had been coordinated to say ‘I tried my best at looking like a vampire’, would that be offensive? “Only this aroma can suppress my insatiable bloodl.u.s.t...” That’s just coffee... I want to give garlic pasta to that customer on the house. I guess the man furiously typing away on a notebook is a writer. “Fufu... okay, okay. Come on... just like that... YES! Alright! Phew, this is the first time I've been so nervous since loads of windows popped up when I went to a hentai site!” He was speaking in a slightly over-the-top voice like the dub of a foreign movie, and clearly had finished something other than writing. Looking at his screen there were only countless letters arranged randomly. But this was the result of his attack on some security system which only he could pull off. Probably. After looking at the samples, I realized that all of the patrons in the café were muttering something strange. And sooo... No, I knew of this already, but I felt that I should not accept this. The incongruousness could be explained with the most common area of this puzzle. I wrapped my head in resignation. – this place has totally become a chuunibyou café!! Twoearle smiled satisfied and explained in a low voice. “You mother’s growing chuunibyou attribute seems to be the cause. People with the same Elemera are naturally attracted to those who are stronger.” “Don’t say that... and although it won’t be true, never speak about her Elemera in front of my mom..!” My mother must not know the fact that she has strong Elemera. Her Elemera must have grown loads after the formation of the Twintails..! Although I can understand... as for both of us the situation we dreamed of became reality. But this is like all of the customers in a maid café wearing maid uniforms. Why are they all self-serving. “I don’t know why, but for some reason I’m happy.” “M-mom...” My mother was looking at the café, which had turned into another world, with eyes overflowing with affection. “Chuunibyou can easily be mistaken for something bad. But in reality isn’t it nicer and stronger than anything else? Because it is immersing yourself doing the things you love and enjoying youth to the fullest.” Immersing yourself in the things you love. That is – “Not everyone can be pa.s.sionate in their youth. Or sometimes you miss that when you become an adult. If I can help them find that pa.s.sion when they are tired from work or everyday life, I’m happy.” That is – that mind is the very thing the Twintails and I are trying to protect. As expected this person... is my mother. And I am her son. “Did you just memorize that line?” “Oh, the thing is... yeah.” While I was warming up on the inside, my mother leant over the counter. “So the next time you’re in great danger like when you were fighting Drag Guildy, think of those words! The words I said should inspire a counterattack to get out of a tight situations!” “Just how is something like that going to happen! And your voice is too loud! And why have you memorized the enemies’ names! Now I can’t complain with just one sentence!!” Well, with this chuunibyou atmosphere my ident.i.ty won’t be leaked, but... This request is probably too hard. “It was in a dream... where the main character pushed to the verge of death suddenly recalled my words, and then turned the battle around... Although in Souji’s story I’m the mother not the heroine...” “Fine! I’ll just... think of it some time later!!” “You have to do it when you’re about to die, right?” “Stop hoping that your son will be on the brink of death!” Twoearle was wiping her eyes with the sleeves of her gown in an obviously fake way. “I’m so jealous... I grew up without ever knowing the warmth of family... Your conversation with Souji is so heartwarming...” “Twoearle! You’re practically my daughter now! I’ll give you plenty of affection too!” “Oh... Mother, your kind words have saved me!” “But the thing is, it’s been over a month since you came here, but it looks like things haven’t been sorted out on your end yet. How come?” “I have lost my honor. I try to attack every night, but the barbarian with both b.o.o.bs and defense akin to an iron wall stops me every time...” What do you mean by ‘things’. Exactly what. I looked over at Aika who seemed to be strangely quiet. She was hard as rock, put off by the atmosphere in the café. As expected it’s hard for someone without previous exposure to this kind of stuff... I want to recommend a twintails café to Aika, where all of the attendants are wearing twintails. I imagined such a paradise, which could one day be realized in this place too.
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The maid serving the s.h.i.+ndou family, Sakuragawa Mikoto let out a large sigh. She was looking at s.h.i.+ndou Erina, both the person she was supposed to protect and her master she was to serve with her mind and body, who was smiling while queuing by the counter. It was early in the morning on a Sat.u.r.day, yet in the toys section of a major shopping mall huge lines of customers holding waiting number tickets. This was the weekend directly before Golden Week. Toy manufacturers would forecast great demand and launch new products in a frenzy. If something like a power-up item or a new robot comes out, a fierce scramble breaks out between the parents who have given in to their children’s nagging and devoted fans. And by the way Erina came to this particular shopping mall, part of a national chain, in order to get an original freebie included in purchases, but there was no way that Mikoto would know this. “She at least could leave the shopping to me...” She muttered what she had repeatedly said to Erina. And every time the same reply: “I only get the attachment if I go and buy it myself.” A maid like herself has no intention to challenge her master’s hobbies. Rather, she was pleased that Erina could pa.s.sionately devote herself to something to relieve her stress from being the student council president and the heir to the s.h.i.+ndou line. However after the Ultima Guil had appeared in this world, Erina had been abducted by them many times. Going out alone was dangerous. It would be wrong to force her to stay inside 24/7, but Mikoto thought that at least her master could leave such petty things to others. “Ojou-sama is an ardent fangirl of the Twintails after all...” It was by no means surprising. After all, the heroes Erina had admired all along had appeared right in front of her. It deserved excitement. She had an absolute belief that if she got in trouble the Twintails would come to her rescue. This led to complicated emotions on the part of Mikoto who was responsible for security, but it was true that TailRed had saved Erina every time. However Mikoto was worried about something else. “Maybe... ojou-sama... purposefully puts herself in danger looking to be rescued...”
Mikoto did not take her eyes of her master but skillfully looked at the males in the store. A herd of male university students in frivolous clothing. A dark-looking male in a suit. And even the little children asking for toys. Although it had been a long time in the past since the phrase ‘optimal age of marriage’ was last considered to be relevant, everyone has worrisome thoughts about that from time to time. 28. Sakuragawa Mikoto, a feeling of the final battle – People-watching was like a marriage preparation activity to someone like her, who wanted to get married as soon as they could. She looks for her future husband at all times. Actually her work is the priority. The moment she heard something from her earphone, her expression returned to that of a professional. 『Chief maid! Escape immediately with ojou-sama!』 The desperate voice of a subordinate maid was heard and Mikoto ran out at once. There was no need to ask what had happened. By that point Erina had finished buying and was walking away from the counter. “Ojou-sama!” “Mikoto?” Mikoto lifted up Erina in the princess position and ran straight towards the stairs without even looking at anything else. The escalator would be too slow. Thus – “Ojou-sama, please take care not to bite your tongue!” Although the weight was not much greater than a child’s, she jumped down the stairs in one go while holding a person. Four times in total from the third floor, including the landing (you know, that flat bit in the middle of a stairwell where the stairs change direction). Showing superhuman strength, she ran immediately the moment she reached the first (ground) floor, without a pause to take a breath. She admirably demonstrated her physical capabilities. When she squeezed out of the half-open automatic door into the parking lot... Mikoto clenched her teeth, knowing that she was a step too late, “d.a.m.n, they’re here already..!” The black and unsettling monsters she had seen many a time blocked her path, making weird noises. “Moke!” “Mokeke!” And from behind, a monster which resembled a crab standing straight walked towards them slowly. “Hm, this seems to be a young girl with significantly great potential... With such a strong twintails Elemera ‘that’ must also be superb!” “Again! You monster!” Twintails Elemera. n.o.body knows why, but the fact that these beasts were targeting Erina for her twintails is the undeniable truth. In reality changing her hairstyle would be so much more safe and simple... but there is a reason that s.h.i.+ndou Erina is unable to do this. She felt irritated. “They call me Crab Guildy! An investigator vigorously das.h.i.+ng forward to spread to prosperity the beautiful nape Elemera, which coexists with the twintails Elemera!” “Nape... What?! My nape?!” This again. Those monsters always put such ign.o.ble words in their mouth. The other maids waiting outside ran towards here Mikoto was standing. “Quickly take Erina-sama! I will stop him here!” Mikoto handed over Erina to the others and stood in front of the monster. “Hm, female of a motherly age. It seems you also have a good grounding in twintails!” “Motherly age?! You monster!!” Mikoto had twintails. She had her thick and wavy hair into two bunches, from the top of her facing her back. The hair which flowed onto the back of her was done in twintails, symbolizing vigor. As the monster had said the 28 year old Mikoto had various thoughts, but from the day she had made a vow to serve the s.h.i.+ndou family she had never changed her hairstyle. When that was insulted, she could not restrain herself. “You beast! That is not something a lowly being should say!” She attacked decisively, spurred on by rage. “You have attacked ojou-sama many a time; this will be the last! Never mind the Twintails, I will finish you all!” A kick ruthlessly drove home into the monster’s body. There are some who suggest that a maid’s uniform is only complete with a long skirt. But anyone could see that Mikoto, with a miniskirt and frills waving around as she launched powerful kicks in succession with her well-trained legs, was a professional maid. A maid’s uniform customized to fight, to protect her master. A work ethic harder than steel. The very essence of being a maid was infused in her body. The overpowering attacks continued. Just by looking at her kicks, it was obvious that this was no ordinary woman. Rather, these were techniques which would not seem out of place in an Olympic martial arts match. However Crab Guildy was not affected. Instead Mikoto fell down, grabbing her legs. “d.a.m.n..! Why, why is this so hard?! It feels like its whole body is made out of metal!” She had attacked not just the back of the crab-like monster but the weak points as well, yet the creature did not budge. “Kyaa!” The other maids were protecting Erina, but the combat drones grabbed her using brute force. Actually Erina broke away slightly so that the other maids would not get injured. “Ojou-sama! Run away!” Mikoto was also captured by the combat drones while her attention was elsewhere and could not move. “These things... how are they so strong when they look so thin! Ojou-sama...” “It’s fine, Mikoto. Without fail... I’m sure that the person will come...” Without a trace of doubt, Erina’s eyes were filled with hope. ‘Of course. Ojou-sama knows about –“ “Right, make them turn around!” The combat drones grabbed Erina’s shoulders from both sides and turned her around 180 degrees with toddling steps. Crab Guildy crossed his pincer arms and nodded in satisfaction. “Wh-what are you looking at?!” Erina asked, feeling rather uncomfortable. “You nape! Listen carefully, it is obvious that the nape is visible with twintails! The beauty of each synergizes to s.h.i.+ne even more brightly! I would like to spread this win-win relations.h.i.+p to many other comrades! And I would like to show this to you as well!” “I have nothing to learn from you!” Erina refused to take in these ridiculous words. “Shut up! A man talks with his back, and a woman with her nape! To not understand the providence of nature, you must be immature in mind as well as appearance!!” “What... I, I’m...” Although she had kept a resolved composition, these words made Erina shake. “You foul beast, insulting ojou-sama is unacceptable!” “I have no interest in an old hag’s nape!! Go home and search for some wrinkle creams which actually work!” As he hit her weak spot, Mikoto protested while blus.h.i.+ng. “I’m only 28! Stop joking! I’ll kill you!” She was angrier than when her master had been captured. “Now, I shall take your twintails Elemera!!” Crab Guildy approached Erina with menacing footsteps. “Ojou-sama! d.a.m.n...” A combat drone lightly tapped Mikoto’s neck to knock her out. “Mi, Mikoto... All because of me..!” Erina hugged her newly bought hero toy and desperately got rid of the fear induced from the approaching footsteps. There are heroes. Erina knew that. So what fills the mind is not fear, but belief –
“Elemera Orb – Rabbit!” “Moke?!” The combat drones which had been holding Erina’s shoulders flew away as if they had been flicked by a giant finger. “Oh?” Erina opened her eyes widely. The successive kicks the blue warrior landed onto the combat drones using the jumping ability of the Elemera Orb were so fast that it looked like there were multiple copies of her. And – “Blue, take care of that person!” Right in front of Erina’s eyes. Just like from a tv show – there was a small girl who defiantly stood