Book of Etiquette Volume Ii Part 18

Dress is an index to character as surely as a table of contents is an index to what a book contains. We know by looking at an over-dressed young person, with a much-beruffled and ornamented frock, that she is vain. We know by glancing at a young man who wears an orange tie, checked hat, and twirls a bamboo cane, that he is inclined to be just the least bit gay. We know by the simple dignity of an elderly woman's dress that she is conservative and well-poised.

In the clothes we wear we reveal to the world the story of our ideals, our principles. If we are frivolous, our clothes show it. If we have a sense of the artistic, our clothes show it. If we are modest, bold, vain or proud the clothes we wear reveal it for all the world to see.

But "Dress changes the manners," Voltaire tells us. It is true; on the stage the "beggar" in his tattered clothes acts and speaks and looks the part of a beggar. At dress rehearsals he plays the part to perfection, but rehearsing in ordinary street clothes he is never quite satisfactory. Something seems to be missing; and that something is personality. The same is true of the rather studious young girl who is also shy and retiring. In her somber clothes, she is perfectly content in the gloomy solitude of her study; but dressed in a filmy little frock of lace and net, with her hair youthfully marcelled, with buckled slippers on her feet, she feels vaguely dissatisfied. She wants to skip and dance and laugh and sing; if she knew psychology and the personality in dress, she would be able to explain it to herself in this manner: clothes so affect the mental outlook, that the wearer unconsciously adopts the personality portrayed.

Can you imagine a Lord Chesterton in tattered clothes, a Queen Elizabeth in a limp calico frock, a George Was.h.i.+ngton in a conspicuously checked suit? Unmistakable qualities of character are discernible in the clothes we wear--and for that reason we should be particularly careful to make them a true expression of our personality.

Thus when you want to feel light-hearted and free from care, wear delicate fabrics and bright hats. When you want to be thoughtful and solemn, wear heavy clothes and large, drooping hats. Adapt your clothes to your moods, or your moods to your clothes; but have always one ideal in dress--yourself.

This holds equally true of the man. When weighty business matters are to be attended to, dark suits with correspondingly somber ties and s.h.i.+rts attract the desired mood of seriousness. For less sedate, though not less important, occasions, brighter attire makes one forget the cares of business and a.s.sume an air of gayety. One may recline in a full-dress suit and strive vainly for rest; but the mere putting on of a smoking jacket brings an immediate feeling of relaxation.

As Haliburton so pointedly said, "As soon as a person begins to dress 'loud' his manners and conversation partake of the same element."

GAUDINESS VERSUS GOOD TASTE

Striking attractiveness, rather than simple good taste, seems to be the spirit of modern dress. To see a beautiful young woman in gaudy clothes is as disappointing as seeing a romantic old Spanish tale bound in a cheap paper cover.

How much more delightful is a simple frock, developed of rich materials, and boasting only deep soft folds of the material as decoration, than an elaborate gown with rows and rows of imitation gold lace! And yet, we find that many of our most fas.h.i.+onable women, priding themselves on having good taste, select clothes that are conspicuous and gaudy rather than those that are simple.

Beauty of material and excellence of workmans.h.i.+p should be the primary considerations in selecting a new gown or suit. If ornament is desired, the laws of harmony, contrast and personality should be carefully considered. Colors must blend; there must be no weird contrasts that jar badly on one's artistic sense. Gaudiness, after all, defeats its own purpose, for it expresses a certain vulgarity. The desire to attract attention has no place in the world of good breeding.

Who wishes to be stared at, remarked upon, openly admired--if not the ill-bred woman, the sorely uncultivated man? Good taste finds expression in gowns that are simple, inconspicuous, yet well-cut and artistic; in suits that are quiet, conservative and well-tailored. And the good taste finds its reward in the genuine admiration and keen appreciation of others.

"EXTRAVAGANCE THE GREATEST VULGARITY"

That is what Dr. Crane says--Dr. Crane, who has studied manners in all their aspects. "Extravagance is the greatest vulgarity." How true it is!

How many of us adjust the expenditure for clothes in our households, not by what we ourselves can afford, but by what our neighbors and friends spend!

Fas.h.i.+on is a temptress. Smart gowns, exquisite hat creations, attractive styles in bootery, all tempt us to spend more than is really quite necessary. The extravagant woman fills her wardrobe with numerous dresses, blouses and hats for which she has no real use. But how much more sensible it is to have just enough for one's needs, a few stylish, well-made garments--each one an expression of the wearer's own personality.

There seems to be a false impression among men and women alike, that to be fas.h.i.+onable one must have a new dress for every occasion, a different suit for every day of the week. As a matter of fact, this is an entirely mistaken idea. Fas.h.i.+on is not measured by the number of suits or dresses we have, but by the good taste we display in their selection.

It is significant that the woman whose wardrobe is filled to overflowing, invariably finds that she has "nothing to wear," while the woman of taste, with her carefully selected wardrobe, always seems to be dressed just right.

INAPPROPRIATENESS IN CLOTHES

Just as there are certain laws governing the manners and conduct of society, there are certain laws governing the uses of dress. What is correct for the dance, is entirely incorrect for street wear. What one wears on a shopping trip may not be worn to the theater. The gentleman must not wear his business suit to dinner. Occasion governs costume--and its dictates must be heeded if one would be considered both fas.h.i.+onable and well-bred.

There is, for instance, the modish young lady taking an afternoon stroll in high-heeled satin slippers. What could be more inappropriate? Satin slippers should be worn only with semi-evening or evening dress--never with street clothes. Pumps with fur coats are strikingly inconsistent, as are straw hats with winter attire, or velvet hats with dainty summer-time frocks. True fas.h.i.+on does not profess to distort the seasons, although the style authorities would often have us believe so for their own material gain.

Then, of course, there is the young person who is athletically inclined, and insists on wearing sport clothes on all occasions. We see her on a shopping tour, blissfully unaware of how ridiculous her full-pleated skirt and loose middy appear beneath her elaborate wrap. We see her at a tea, enthusiastic over the glories of the eighteenth hole, and interpreting the glances of her friends at her sport shoes and bright sweater as glances of admiration rather than disapproval. Sport clothes are for the tennis courts, golf links, skating rinks and similar places.

They have no place at teas and receptions.

Of the transparent blouses and silk dresses of the business woman, we will speak later; but in drawing a comparison, we might say that they are no more inappropriate than the eccentricities of dress a.s.sumed by some of our women of fas.h.i.+on. The importance of this question warrants a special paragraph.

THE ECCENTRIC DRESSER

Many men and women, in the mistaken belief that they are expressing personality, adopt certain peculiarities of dress.

Eccentric dressing always attracts attention, and is therefore bordering on the vulgar. There are, of course, many men and women who enjoy attracting attention, who delight in being considered "different." In such people we are not interested. It is the people of good taste that we wish to advise against the mistake of wearing peculiar and unconventional clothes.

There is a very old tale related about an Egyptian queen who owned a chain of coral, strung on a strip of dried skin from one of their sacred animals. She gloried in the possession of it, and in order to do full justice to it, she forbade everyone in her kingdom to wear beads.

The man or woman of to-day who wears "different" clothes, unconventional and in most cases unbecoming garments, is merely obeying the same vain and selfish instinct that prompted that Queen of long ago to forbid the wearing of beads.

As for personality, the man or woman who cannot express it in correct, conservative and conventional clothes, certainly cannot express it in grotesque and eccentric ones.

COMFORT IN CLOTHES

Beautiful dress alone is not enough. We may be attracted to a manikin, but after five minutes or so it bores us. With beauty of dress there must also be a grace and ease of manner without which no man or woman is quite charming, for uncomfortable garments rob us of all poise and grace.

Think of holding a quiet, serious, calm conversation while one's foot aches painfully because of a tight shoe! Think of sitting gravely and patiently through a long concert while one's too-tight collar grows ever more and more irritating, while one's narrow jacket becomes constantly more uncomfortable!

To be uncomfortable is to be conscious of what one is wearing; and we know that well-dressed men and women are never conscious of clothes.

They know instinctively that they are well-dressed, and with the knowledge comes a dignity that adds charm to the beauty of their costumes. Thus they are able to enter whole-heartedly into conversation, feeling neither constrained nor uncomfortable but enjoying that serene satisfaction that comes when one is fully aware that one is well-dressed.

The early Romans had two distinct costumes which were worn alike by rich and poor--one simple, flowing garment for the ordinary activities of every-day life, and one that was also simple but a bit more decorative, for the ceremonial occasions. Perhaps the grace and ease of manner for which the Romans of yore were noted was due to the delightful comfort of their dress.

Tight shoes, extreme styles, uncomfortable wraps, coats or suits--anything that in any way makes you conscious of what you are wearing, should be rigidly avoided. You are truly a "slave of fas.h.i.+on"

if you allow yourself to suffer hours of torture merely to present an appearance that would have been vastly more pleasing if it had been accompanied by the graceful ease of manner of which discomfort robbed you.

IF ONE IS NOT AVERAGE

We cannot all be perfect "sixteens" or perfect "thirty-sixes." Some of us are taller than others. Some of us are inclined to be stout. Some of us are short, and others very slender. We all have distinct individualities that can be marred or "starred" in the manner of dress we adopt.

We should all study our "good points" and wear the kind of clothes that will emphasize them at the same time that it will conceal our defects.

Clothes have the power of magnifying imperfections. The too-stout woman can wear dresses that will make her look twice as stout. The short man can wear suits that make him look very much shorter. Intelligence, good judgment and a sense of beauty will achieve remarkable results for the man or woman who cares about his or her appearance.

There is the very thin woman, for instance. She must avoid the severely straight up-and-down lines that are so appropriate for other women who are built differently. Her forte is tunics, large collars, ruffles, overblouses and bows. Soft, filmy materials that fall in graceful lines are especially becoming, as are checked and flowered materials. Stripes in all forms must be strictly avoided as they accentuate the slenderness. For the thin woman, an easy, graceful manner is most important. When she develops such a manner, and combines it with the fluffiest and most frilly of feminine fas.h.i.+ons, one will see how very charming she can be.

The too-stout woman faces a more difficult problem. She must carefully consider each detail of her dress, making sure that it does not in any way accentuate her fles.h.i.+ness. She must avoid the checked and brightly-colored materials that her slender friends may wear. Long lines should be worn, and it should be remembered that clothes without waistlines work wonders for the stout woman--just as the coat without a belt improves the appearance of the stout man. Such edicts of fas.h.i.+on as the tight sleeve, round neck or short waist are not for the stout woman.

The ideal dress for her is one long and sweeping in line. The length of the skirt, as well as details of style, must be adapted to her own particular requirements. She will find that she will be much happier (and her friends, too!) if she forgets that she is stout, and does not constantly bewail the fact to those who are with her. It is not deplorable to be stout, but it certainly is deplorable to dress in a manner which emphasizes that stoutness.

TALL AND SHORT PEOPLE

Tall people have a distinct advantage. They are able to wear all styles, all colors, unless they are extremely tall. They seem to have a certain natural grace that lends charm to whatever they wear. But there is the too-tall person who must be careful of what he or she wears. The very tall woman should avoid stripes as they add to her height. She must not wear high collars, nor severely tailored blouses. The tailored suit, however, becomes her. She should avoid bright colors and indulge a great deal in blacks and "midnight" blues. The tall man may wear whatever he pleases--as long as it is not conspicuous. He almost invariably presents an imposing and dignified appearance if he is well dressed.

Short people, especially short women, must exert special care in the selection of their wardrobes. The short woman must select only those gowns that have long lines, long-waisted effects. Bright colors are not for her--except a touch here and there. Short skirts are more becoming than long ones, just as stripes are more becoming than checks. Two extremes that the short woman must never indulge in, are large, drooping hats and extremely high heels. The hat cuts her height, and the heels give her a tilted appearance.

Whether you are tall or short, stout or slender, you have some particular attractiveness, and you should not allow the knowledge of your imperfections to make you timid or awkward. It needs only the correct dress and the proper spirit of pride and dignity to accentuate your personal charms. Remember that it is personality that counts--personality and character--and while some of the world's greatest personalities have been exceptionally tall, just as many of them have been extremely short!