The Phil May Album Part 2

[Ill.u.s.tration: ON THE BRAIN

SIR CHARLES EWAN SMITH]

[Ill.u.s.tration: ON THE SANDS

MACHINE MAN (_to bather who has been complaining that he was not taken out far enough_): "Why, lor bless yer, Sir, I once know'd a man who could dive in two foot of water."

BATHER: "And where's he buried?"]

[Ill.u.s.tration: ON THE BRAIN

MR. GEORGE GROSSMITH]

[Ill.u.s.tration: WOMANLY

FIRST PHILANTHROPIST: "Cannot we start a society for the employment of the poor Russian Jews?"

SECOND DITTO: "Well, you see, what could they do? You know that they can't speak English."

FIRST DITTO: "Oh, get them something to do on the railway, to call out the names of the stations, for instance."]

[Ill.u.s.tration: ON THE BRAIN

MR. ARTHUR ROBERTS]

[Ill.u.s.tration: OUR CLIMATE

"Look here, that barometer you sold me a month ago has got out of order, it won't work."

"Well, you see, sir, look what a lot of wear and tear 'e's 'ad lately."]

[Ill.u.s.tration: ON THE BRAIN

SIR GEORGE NEWNES]

[Ill.u.s.tration: CHEEK

URCHIN: "Hi, governor, remember the warning afore yer starts!"]

[Ill.u.s.tration: ON THE BRAIN

SIR GEORGE DIBBS]

[Ill.u.s.tration: INFORMATION WANTED

FAT PARTY: "Say, boy, do my boots want cleaning?"]

[Ill.u.s.tration: ON THE BRAIN

MR. HORACE SEDGER]

[Ill.u.s.tration: FRENCH, AS SHE IS SPOKE

FRENCH PROFESSOR: "How would you p.r.o.nounce t-o-u-t-a-f-a-i-t?"

PUPIL: "Totty Fay."]

[Ill.u.s.tration: ON THE BRAIN

THE MARQUIS OF QUEENSBERRY]

[Ill.u.s.tration: HARD LINES

DAY POLICEMAN: (_relieving night-man_): "How's the missus?"

NIGHT POLICEMAN: "I don't know. 'Aven't seen her for ten years."

DAY POLICEMAN: "But ye're living together, aren't yer?"

NIGHT POLICEMAN: "Yes, but she's a charwoman, an' is out all day, an'

I'm out all night. So we've never met since we came back from our honeymoon."]