Maria-sama ga Miteru - LightNovelsOnl.com
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On the Tuesday that Yos.h.i.+no had unilaterally chosen for reconciliation, Rei-chan was absent from school.
According to Rei-chan's mother, she had a temperature late Monday night and while fever medicine had temporarily cooled her down, her condition worsened in the morning so she was having the day off.
On the trip home yesterday Rei-chan had been silent, like on the way to school, but she hadn't really looked sick. Maybe she'd spent so long in the bath thinking about things that she came down with a cold. How pathetic.
"Ah, maybe it's my fault &h.e.l.lip; "
The student murmured, gathering her shoulder-length hair in her hands as she stood in front of her cla.s.sroom.
Before school started, Yos.h.i.+no made her way to the third-year plum cla.s.sroom, having been asked by her aunt to tell them that Rei-chan would be having a two or three day break from the kendo club. And, having heard the details, it was club president Nojima's voice that said, "my fault."
"Umm, why would it be your fault?"
Yos.h.i.+no asked, not understanding. As background, the club president's house was a long way away from Yos.h.i.+no's, and in the conversation with her aunty neither the words 'club president' nor the name 'Nojima' were mentioned. How she could be connected to Rei-chan's illness was a complete unknown.
"Well, I called Rei-san last night."
As she said this, club president Nojima had a pained expression on her face.
"Ahh."
But even supposing they had talked for a long time, she wouldn't be responsible for the health of the person on the other end of the phone, right? As a high-school student, surely Rei-chan should be responsible for making sure she was wearing enough clothes that she didn't catch a cold.
"At first I was telling her about what happened during yesterday's club activities."
"Mmm."
Rei-chan had skipped out on those yesterday so that she could welcome Noriko-chan to the Rose Mansion.
"Then the conversation turned to you, Yos.h.i.+no-chan."
"Huh!?"
"Rei-san knew that you wanted to join the club, but apparently she hadn't heard that you'd handed in an application form. So - "
You put your foot in it, club president.
"I'm sorry. I guess I messed up, right?"
Club president Nojima looked depressed, at a loss for what to do.
"&h.e.l.lip; No."
They hadn't agreed to keep it secret, so Yos.h.i.+no had no right to get mad at her. It was just unlucky, she thought. Yos.h.i.+no had planned to come clean with Rei-chan this morning.
"Rei-san seemed to be quite shocked by it."
In that case, it was more like it was Yos.h.i.+no's fault then the club president's - but, what? Rei-chan came down with a temperature because of shock? How pathetic.
The fire that had been extinguished within Yos.h.i.+no's heart was once again starting to flare up.
What are you playing at, Rei-chan? - Yos.h.i.+no balled her hand into a fist and glared in the direction of her house.
"Umm &h.e.l.lip; Yos.h.i.+no-chan?"
"Club president."
Yos.h.i.+no spun around abruptly and faced the club president.
"Yes?"
The club president put herself on guard, as though unsure of what was about to happen. It was the inevitable response from someone who had been watching Yos.h.i.+no for a while.
"Right or wrong, I'm going to join the kendo club."
"Okay?"
"So, I look forward to working with you."
Yos.h.i.+no bowed extremely deeply then walked away from the third-year plum cla.s.sroom, satisfied. With that decided, she had other arrangements she had to make elsewhere.
Left behind, the club president's exhausted muttering echoed down the corridor.
"&h.e.l.lip; What just happened?"
The young lady with pigtails skipped away, then quickly turned a corner in the corridor.
"I'll introduce you to the club member who's going to be guiding you from today."
Yos.h.i.+no was taken aback when she saw who club president Nojima was introducing her to.
"Welcome aboard, Yos.h.i.+no-san."
"&h.e.l.lip; Tanuma Chisato."
Yos.h.i.+no said her full name, without thinking. Of all people, her despised rival for the half-day date with Rei-chan. Also, the person from a somewhat sorrowful memory.
"Well, I'll leave the rest to you, Tanuma-san."
Then the club president left, leaving just the two of them at the edge of the dojo. Inside, the other club members had already started practicing their swings.
Wednesday, after school.
Yos.h.i.+no's club application had involved the club president, club adviser, school nurse, school doctor and her own family doctor, and had even been raised as a topic for discussion at the staff meeting on Tuesday, but after much wrangling, in the end her application was provisionally accepted.
The relative speed with which it had all been resolved led Yos.h.i.+no to believe that her "arrangements" had been effective. Although she called them arrangements, they weren't anything particularly grandiose. It just involved Yos.h.i.+no going around to everyone, telling them about how she had wanted to do kendo ever since she was young, how she was so happy because after her surgery it felt like her dream was finally coming true, and that she promised not to worry anyone by overdoing it. That was all.
It may have been exaggerating things slightly, but it wasn't a lie. It was the results of the high spirits she was in about joining the club while Rei-chan had irresponsibly gone and gotten herself sick.
If someone in authority decided that there was an impediment to Yos.h.i.+no continuing kendo, then she would abide by their decision. - That was one of the conditions attached to Yos.h.i.+no joining the club. In other words, the moment someone said something like, "You're looking tired, so that's enough for today," or, "You don't look so well, take the day off," she had to hand over the s.h.i.+nai.
Yos.h.i.+no thought it should be fine because her body was in good health, but she was slightly concerned that 'someone in authority' included a person by the name of 'Hasekura Rei.' Rei-chan had been given the power to snuff out her kendo life with a single word.
"Since when have you been in the kendo club?"
Yos.h.i.+no asked Tanuma Chisato, while sneaking a glance at the ongoing practice.
"I joined at the end of first-year. That makes me your senior, just by a little. So it was quite an honor for me to be chosen as your guide."
At the end of first-year, so that could have been right after that date. Yos.h.i.+no thought Chisato-san might have come to hate seeing Rei-chan's face, but apparently she was impudent and had a lot of nerve.
She'd boldly cut her shoulder-length hair, although not as short as Rei-chan's, and although it hurt Yos.h.i.+no to admit this, it looked good on her. Much better than before - really, it was annoying how good she looked.
"Why do I need a guide?"
"You've joined midway through second-year. Not only are you inexperienced with kendo, but you haven't really done any strenuous exercise before, right?"
"Well, excuse me &h.e.l.lip; So what?"
"Geez, just listen. When someone like that knocks on the door, you can't just give them a s.h.i.+nai straight away and let them have at it. So, first of all, we have to build up your core strength. You understand that much, right?"
The way she spoke rubbed Yos.h.i.+no the wrong way, but Yos.h.i.+no had been rude first so she let it slide.
"Build my core strength? Doing what?"
"Stretching, weights, light running, that kind of thing."
So she'd be doing endless warm-up exercises during club practice. It looks like the first-years who'd joined as novices at the start of the year had been following this training regime and had only recently been allowed to wield the s.h.i.+nai.
"So, you mean, I'll have to do that all by myself?"
In the dojo, the practice swings continued. Mixed in amongst the sounds were the artless cries of those who'd apparently only just started kendo.
"That's why I'm with you as your guide. Don't whine, I went through all the same things when I joined without complaint. Now, let's get going."
While she wasn't wearing any kendo armor, she was in her gym clothes, and when someone in a track suit is told, "Let's get going," the only possible response is, "Okay." It was annoying that she was being guided by someone whose career was only a couple of months longer than her own, but Chisato-san wasn't someone she had to fight so it would have been counterproductive to futilely cry about it.
"Yos.h.i.+no-san. Your body is really stiff. Do some training at home before your bath, okay?"
Chisato-san spoke her mind as she pushed on Yos.h.i.+no's back. But she wasn't wrong in what she said, so Yos.h.i.+no couldn't object.
"Chisato-san."
"Yeah?"
"Ah, it's nothing."
Yos.h.i.+no started to speak, then stopped. Although she'd called out, she didn't really know what she wanted to say.
"What's nothing?"
"Ah, can you go a bit easier on my back?"
"Like this?"
Chisato-san smiled as she pushed harder and harder on Yos.h.i.+no's back. The back of her knees were stretched taut.
Back when Chisato-san had joined, who had been her guide? Yos.h.i.+no was a bit bothered by this, but she didn't want Chisato-san to know, so she put all of her concentration into stretching forward.
(Rei-chan never said anything about Chisato-san.)
It wasn't a big deal, but it was bothering her.
After taking into account her suspicions, Yos.h.i.+no vanquished the unworthy thought that Rei-chan was trying to keep her away from the kendo club because Chisato-san was there.
As if that would happen.
At the foundation of their relations.h.i.+p was trust.
The sound of the club president leading the younger girls reached her ears. It seemed incredibly strange to Yos.h.i.+no that Rei-chan wasn't there.
Thursday lunch.
They'd been called to the Rose Mansion, so Yos.h.i.+no left the cla.s.sroom carrying her lunch. Her cla.s.smate Yumi-san was with her.
"How's the kendo club?"
"Hm, so-so."
At the moment, it felt more like a "Stretching / marathon / weight training a.s.sociation." She'd only been there for one day, but already her legs felt tired and sore.
"Hang in there."
"&h.e.l.lip; Thanks."
Yos.h.i.+no responded with an equally insipid expression of grat.i.tude to the listless encouragement from her friend. They were both pretty exhausted.
Even though they were exhausted, they still had to do their Yamayurikai duties at lunch. Work had already started for the school festival in autumn.
After school, the remaining members would gather and work on things individually, but the work just kept on coming, so they didn't have any free time. Rei-chan was down, and Sachiko-sama would go home early to deal with family matters or something, so with the main people out it was only natural that it would end up like this.
"Ah."
Yos.h.i.+no spotted s.h.i.+mako-san ahead of them in the hallway. Rosa Gigantea was always so beautiful that she grabbed people's attention, but the sight of her keeping her melancholy (perhaps caused by the sudden disappearance of the sun's rays) to herself made her look kind of seductive.
The three girls exchanged smiles but omitted saying "Gokigenyou," then continued walking alongside each other.
"Is Noriko-chan coming?"
"No."
s.h.i.+mako-san shook her head, as though the answer should have been obvious. Which probably meant that they still hadn't officially become soeurs. Talk about indecisive.
Yos.h.i.+no had no idea why s.h.i.+mako-san was hesitating. She should just give her the rosary and become soeurs. They both knew that, and due to Nijou Noriko's nature, no-one would oppose them.
Although, come to think of it, things were kind of like this during s.h.i.+mako-san and Satou Sei-sama's time. The two involved seemed to be bothered by something, but Yos.h.i.+no had no idea what. This time around, there were probably some things they had to work through, but why was it taking so long?
If she likes her, give her the rosary. If not, send her away. - It was such a simple thing, that should cover it.
"Gokigenyou."
A group of first-years had been lying in wait in the hallway that ran past the first-year cla.s.srooms and called out warmly to Yos.h.i.+no's group.
"Gokigenyou everyone."
Beset by exhaustion, Yos.h.i.+no couldn't conjure up her usual smile.
Besides, it would be a pain if they were stopped here, and by walking on looking downcast it made it hard for the first-years to follow after them.
Phrases like, "hiding their sorrow," itched at Yos.h.i.+no's ears from behind, but going back and correcting the first-years would be foolish, so she continued on.
There was no need to shatter those girls' illusions. Deliberately, she walked slowly.
"What's the matter?"
s.h.i.+mako-san asked, when the first-years had disappeared from view.
"What do you mean, what's the matter?"
Yos.h.i.+no and Yumi-san called out in harmony, although they hadn't rehea.r.s.ed beforehand.
"Well &h.e.l.lip; "
s.h.i.+mako-san said that they were being unusually quiet.
"Quiet?"
Yumi-san pointed out that Yos.h.i.+no had hardly said a word, prompting Yos.h.i.+no to highlight Yumi-san's gloomy face. Apparently things weren't going well with Sachiko-sama, or so Yos.h.i.+no thought.
"It's just her imagination, right?"
After this denial, they resumed walking. But, in truth, Yos.h.i.+no had noticed it too. The reason she hadn't said a word wasn't just because she was tired from club activities. The gloomy faces she was seeing weren't just because of the poor weather.
Just as they stepped out into the courtyard, all three of them sighed simultaneously.
"What?"
Blind to her own shortcomings, Yos.h.i.+no attacked the other two. Not knowing how to handle her own emotions, she was getting more and more depressed by those around her.
"What do you mean?"
Yumi-san responded honestly, pus.h.i.+ng out her lips in a pout. And then.
"Is there something bothering you two?"
s.h.i.+mako-san asked, sounding concerned.
"There's no way you can talk to someone who's sighing, right?"
Yos.h.i.+no bluntly responded. That was probably an outburst of anger. Looking at lovable s.h.i.+mako-san's face, it had just come blurting out.
"Especially when there's not that many different species of sighs."
Yos.h.i.+no felt like she had to follow that up, but the words that came out of her mouth weren't much of a follow-up. Instead, it sounded more like something she wanted to tell herself.
As they were entering the Rose Mansion, s.h.i.+mako-san said there was something she had to attend to and headed back towards the school building. Yos.h.i.+no was a bit worried by that.
"I guess I hurt her feelings."
Yos.h.i.+no said, seeking confirmation from Yumi-san, but she simply refuted it with, "I don't think that's it." Even so, Yos.h.i.+no was bothered by it, and she grabbed Yumi-san's hand to stop her climbing further up the stairs and asked:
"You know, sometimes I'll get carried away and not pay attention to things around me. Do I, unknowingly, make things worse for other people?"
"Huh?"
Yumi-san asked with a puzzled look on her face.
"I've probably done it to you, Yumi-san."
"I've never really - "
"Sure."
Even though the burden on club-less Yumi-san must have increased when Yos.h.i.+no started her club activities.
Noriko-chan coming to a.s.sist had helped out a bit, but the three second-years were all without pet.i.t soeurs, so they'd constantly been short-handed since the start of the school year.
It would have been better if she hadn't started club activities - such were Yos.h.i.+no's thoughts when she considered it calmly. Even if Yumi-san didn't think that, there were probably plenty of people who did.
"I guess I should get a pet.i.t soeur."
Yos.h.i.+no mumbled as she climbed the creaky stairs.
"&h.e.l.lip;Why do you say that?"
"I've been thinking about it for a while. Two boutons isn't enough to support the Roses."
"You'd take a pet.i.t soeur just for the manpower?"
Yumi-san stopped climbing the staircase and looked at Yos.h.i.+no in amazement.
"Someone like s.h.i.+mako-san might be opposed to it, but that kind of clear contract is one option, right?"
"Yeah &h.e.l.lip; but &h.e.l.lip; "
She couldn't bring herself to agree.
"At any rate, I need to spread my emotions."
Yos.h.i.+no finished climbing the stairs and let out a huge sigh.
If she kept thinking only about Rei-chan, her brains would boil and scorch her skull.
On Friday, Rei-chan finally came to school.
"Morning."
"Morning."
It was awkward, but they exchanged greetings and then went out the gate. It had only been three days since they'd seen each other, but Rei-chan looked noticeably worn out. She wasn't staggering or anything, but as they walked alongside each other Yos.h.i.+no found herself wanting to ask Rei-chan if she was alright, out of concern.
But it would surely hurt Rei-chan's pride to have Yos.h.i.+no support her, or carry her school bag for her, so Yos.h.i.+no didn't make the offer.
Really, it was shocking, but that was all she knew.
"Yos.h.i.+no."
Rei-chan looked straight ahead as she spoke to Yos.h.i.+no walking beside her.
"I hear you've officially joined the kendo club."
"&h.e.l.lip; Yeah."
Feeling a bit guilty, Yos.h.i.+no replied without making direct eye-contact either.
Who it was was unknown, but someone had apparently informed Rei-chan of what happened during her absence. Well, it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that everyone in the kendo club was on Rei-chan's side, so it was only natural that someone would have told her.
"Well, even though I've joined, all I'm doing is warm-up exercises."
It had been a while since they'd last talked, so Yos.h.i.+no was getting a bit excited. As Yos.h.i.+no soared, she tried her hardest to convey her thoughts. While she had been the one to start the fight, she was trying to encourage a friendly conversation so that they could naturally make up.
But Rei-chan coolly said, "I see," and nodded her head.
"Your life is your own, Yos.h.i.+no. I have no right to stop you."
"Rei-chan &h.e.l.lip; ?"
Yos.h.i.+no didn't understand what Rei-chan wanted to say. Was it an acceptance of her club activities, or a rejection, or even an inability to decide? Yos.h.i.+no didn't know how to respond.
"While I was in bed, I thought about a lot of things."
"Thought &h.e.l.lip; about what?"
"About kendo, and about soeurs, and about other things."
In other words, she thought about Yos.h.i.+no. She should have just said that straight out.
"Which led to something that needs contemplation. Because it goes to the heart of how soeurs are supposed to be."
"Huh?"
"Our relations.h.i.+p is different to normal soeurs. Which is why we always have these kinds of fights."
"Hmm &h.e.l.lip; well, that may be true."
Yos.h.i.+no agreed vaguely, unsure of where the conversation was going. It may have just been because she was worn out, but Rei-chan's face looked unusually serious, and Yos.h.i.+no's heart whispered that it was times like these when extreme care was needed.
"You know, Yos.h.i.+no, as your onee-sama, I could admonish you to stop club activities."
"Admonish? Implore, right?"
"Implore, maybe &h.e.l.lip; But, you probably wouldn't go along with it."
"If you were right, I would. But your reasons for objecting aren't very persuasive."
Who would give up on joining the club just because they were told about morning practices, or that it was a barefoot world, or that it was strict? If Yos.h.i.+no was repelled by that, then it seemed like no-one would ever join the kendo club.
"It's always puzzled me why it always comes to this."
"Isn't it tied up with how we're different to other soeurs?"
"Maybe it was a mistake for us to become soeurs in the first place."
Rei-chan spoke very calmly as she said something that was very close to a break-up line.
"What are you trying to say?"
"If you're going to do what you want, then I have to rethink things too."
Rei-chan stopped walking and turned to Yos.h.i.+no, a serious look on her face as she spoke deliberately and clearly.
"I've had enough of being blown off by you."
Rei-chan made an appearance at the kendo club not long after returning to school.
The club president wasn't at practice because she had an evening dentist appointment, so Rei-chan took over leading the younger students.
Which was why Yos.h.i.+no too headed to the martial arts building after school. She was a bit worried about the Yamayurikai work, but Yumi-san had said it was okay, so she was taking advantage of that. Rei-chan was many times more important.
Additionally, Yos.h.i.+no was worried because she hadn't felt all that good in the morning. Taking a break from the club would be like losing to Rei-chan, which would also leave a bad feeling. But what she was most concerned about were Rei-chan's profound words.
(Contemplating the heart of how soeurs are supposed to be, wasn't it?)
Yos.h.i.+no thought as she did her warm-up exercises. Contemplating something, that's thinking about how it can be improved, right?
"Don't just move with the upper half of your body. See, you're legs aren't moving at all."
Rei-chan's voice reverberated around the dojo.
"You're wide open from the side."
The kendo club was the only club using the martial arts building today, so they were using the entire dojo. Rei-chan was standing right in the middle, leading the younger students. With the sounds of practice as background music, Yos.h.i.+no was off to the side doing her core strength training. She knew what to do, since she'd been doing this since Wednesday, so Chisato-san had returned to her own training. It would have been a waste to keep her around indefinitely.
"Don't stare at where you're going to attack. Your opponent will read your movement."
That charming voice. Rei-chan always looks coolest when she's doing kendo. It seemed completely unbelievable that she'd been absent due to illness up until today.
It had always been that way. With a s.h.i.+nai in her hand, Rei-chan looked sharp. And no-one looked more at home than her in gym clothes.
(One &h.e.l.lip; two &h.e.l.lip; three &h.e.l.lip; four)
Yos.h.i.+no discreetly watched Rei-chan's face in profile as she did her squats. For a while now, Rei-chan hadn't even glanced her way.
When they'd walked to school together, Rei-chan had said that she had to rethink things. Yos.h.i.+no wondered if that meant she was going to be ignored during club activities.
(And what was up with, "It was a mistake for cousins to become soeurs?")
Who knows. Yos.h.i.+no's thighs and calves screamed in pain, and her b.u.t.t thumped into the floor. She wasn't thinking properly and on top of that her body was exhausted.
Rei-chan noticed and glanced her way. Yos.h.i.+no quickly flashed her the peace sign and she turned away again.
(Oh, what's with that?)
Nothing more than bad vibes. Idiot, bringing their personal lives into the club activities.
As she cursed in her head, Yos.h.i.+no wiped away her sweat with her towel, then used it to dry the floor so she wouldn't slip.
(Seriously, what the h.e.l.l.)
Yos.h.i.+no thought she was the idiot. Even if she hadn't known how to react, why had she held up those two fingers? Especially to someone she was fighting with.
She would have been better off holding up one finger, her middle finger. - Although that was completely unthinkable behavior for a student of Lillian's Girls Academy.
"Yos.h.i.+no-san, time to finish up."
Chisato-san called out as she mopped the floor, having finished her practice.
"Yeah, just a little bit more."
The training regime made by the club adviser and president was, to Yos.h.i.+no, a Herculean task for her to finish in time.
It would probably be a piece of cake for a regular second-year high-school student, but since Yos.h.i.+no couldn't even do three push-ups in a row, there was a lot of time spent resting.
Time and again, Yos.h.i.+no really felt her lack of core strength. This was what she got for having flat-out missed all PE cla.s.ses during compulsory schooling.
The advice that she should build up her physical strength before touching a s.h.i.+nai felt right.
"Don't overdo it. The training regime's just a rough guide."
Chisato-san squatted as she flapped the cleaning cloth. At least Chisato-san treated Yos.h.i.+no like a regular club member.
At the best of times, someone joining during second-year would be considered harebrained, but Yos.h.i.+no was Hasekura Rei's pet.i.t soeur.
The first-years, understandably, kept their distance from someone who was in a lower position than them in the club, but still their senior, and with the pompous t.i.tle Rosa Foetida en bouton to boot.
A lot of the second-years had joined the club aiming for Rei-chan, and most of them weren't amused by Yos.h.i.+no stepping into what they regarded as their territory.
With the exception of Rei-chan and the club president, most of the third-years would only show up occasionally, half-way through the transition to being members on paper only.
"You can go home too, Chisato-san. I'll take care of the floor here before I go."
Except for a roughly two metre square area around Yos.h.i.+no, Chisato-san had finished mopping the floor. The other club members had already departed one by one after finis.h.i.+ng their cleaning tasks. Yos.h.i.+no realized it was just her and Chisato-san left in the dojo. Rei-chan wasn't anywhere to be seen either.
"I'll help out, then we can go home together."
Chisato-san's words were achingly kind. But Yos.h.i.+no shook her head.
"It's okay. I can do it myself."
She dug her heels in. No matter how long it took, Yos.h.i.+no wouldn't be going home until she'd finished the task set before her.
"But it looks like it's going to rain."
"Yeah."
Perhaps was.h.i.+ng her hands of Yos.h.i.+no's stubbornness, Chisato-san let out a sigh and put the wash cloth down.
"&h.e.l.lip; Take it easy, okay."
"Thanks."
The sounds of her footsteps gradually faded into the distance. Yos.h.i.+no silently continued her stretching. Now that she was alone, the dojo suddenly felt vast and cold.
Yos.h.i.+no was fine even if no-one else was there. On the contrary, it was better for her concentration.
Even though no-one was watching, Yos.h.i.+no didn't even think about taking short-cuts. It wasn't really because she believed the sisters' favorite saying, "Maria-sama is always watching you." It was because she didn't want to lose.
(Lose? Who on earth to?)
To herself, perhaps. Either that, or to Rei-chan.
It felt like both, and neither. Or, rather, inside Yos.h.i.+no's heart dwelt a vague form that was "Myself and Rei-chan," with no well defined boundary.
Having finished her entire training regime, as she started to mop the floor, Yos.h.i.+no heard footsteps from someone entering the dojo. Even without seeing their face, she knew who it was. Yos.h.i.+no's conscience, Rei-chan.
"Didn't you go home?"
"I was about to, but I couldn't."
"Hmm."
Even though it looked like she'd just suddenly appeared, Rei-chan had probably been lurking somewhere within the martial arts building, keeping track of what was going on in the dojo. Despite a fair amount of time having pa.s.sed, she was still in her gym clothes.
Yos.h.i.+no washed the cloth in the bucket then squeezed it tightly.
"I'm not going to quit."
"Yeah. I know you're determined. You're working hard."
It made Yos.h.i.+no really glad to hear Rei-chan say she was working hard. But it would have been annoying to show that on her face, so she scrubbed the floor.
"Even so, you're not happy with it, Rei-chan."
"It's not that I'm not happy. It's that I'm troubled."
Rei-chan squatted down and let out a sigh.
"Troubled?"
"Yeah. It's too much for me to handle."
Perhaps at a loose end, Rei-chan reached into the bucket and took out the cloth, but Yos.h.i.+no quickly s.n.a.t.c.hed it back. This was Yos.h.i.+no's job. There was no reason for Rei-chan to help.
"Probably."
Rei-chan smiled bitterly and stood up, stepping back from the bucket.
"I thought that maybe I was protecting my territory."
"Your territory? The kendo club?"
"Yeah. Or, rather, my place in the kendo club. How do I look to you when I'm doing club activities?"
"You look totally cool. The way you lead the younger students."
Rei-chan then put what Yos.h.i.+no was thinking into words.
"Yeah, I really like that side of myself."
How brazen, just coming out and saying that.
"Okay. Then, wouldn't this be a good thing?"
By Yos.h.i.+no joining the kendo club, Rei-chan was blessed with a golden opportunity to show her cool side to her cute pet.i.t soeur.
"&h.e.l.lip; It's not."
Rei-chan sluggishly sat back down on the floor. She looked like she was close to tears as she ran her fingers through her short hair.
"I'm hopeless with you here, Yos.h.i.+no."
"Hopeless?"
"I lose my composure. I was desperately trying to keep it together today."
So that was why Rei-chan had been ignoring her.
"Has Yos.h.i.+no been hit? Is she hurt? - It's pathetic, but that's all I can think about. At heart, I don't have a lot of mental strength. But I hide that, pretend to be strong, and that's how I can proudly lead the younger students."
"Yeah."
Yos.h.i.+no nodded. She'd known that from the start.
"But this lame person? There's no way she can guide the other students and Yos.h.i.+no. The juniors are precious, but you're special. The moment I think that I have to treat you impartially, there's already a distinction within me."
It was just high-school club activities, but she was thinking about it so seriously. Well, that was one of Rei-chan's good points too.
"In other words, you're scared that you might go easy on me."
"Or I'll think I can't go easy on you, and be overly strict."
"That so?"
Compared to the other reasons she'd given so far, this was much easier to understand. Rei-chan's honestly conveyed feelings left Yos.h.i.+no instinctively agreeing with her.
"Go ahead and laugh at me. I said I was opposed to it because I was worried about your body, and I thought that was true, but I was wrong. Really, it's about me."
"I'm not going to laugh."
Yos.h.i.+no dropped the washcloth and wrapped her arms around Rei-chan's neck. The emotions, "I'm sorry," "My sympathies," and "I love you," were all mixed together in her tight embrace.
Rei-chan's troubles were born from Yos.h.i.+no. Therefore, she wouldn't laugh.
"I've turned into something I hate. Incredible, right? You should just give up on me, Yos.h.i.+no."
"Rei-chan&h.e.l.lip;"
As her trembling voice escaped her body, tears made their way down Rei-chan's cheeks. And, as though chasing them, rain started to pepper the martial arts building's gla.s.s windows.
Spitter spatter. Spitter spatter. The martial arts building was filled with the sounds of rain.
"Are you telling me to return the rosary?"
Despite Yos.h.i.+no's question, Rei-chan didn't deny it. By not saying anything, she was accepting it. Although she wasn't actively affirming it either.
Rei-chan's words from that morning were connected to this. Yos.h.i.+no hadn't realized. No, the thought, "Perhaps," had crossed her mind numerous times, but it had always been vanquished with an, "As if."
"Maybe you're right. That way, you won't be blown off by me any more."
As she said this, Yos.h.i.+no tried to put a smile on her face, but it didn't work all that well. Yos.h.i.+no had thought about returning the rosary to Rei-chan, but she'd never considered being asked to give it back. No matter what Yos.h.i.+no did, Rei-chan would never abandon her. In that way, she'd sometimes take her for granted.
"Is that okay? Do you want nothing to do with me, Rei-chan?"
Yos.h.i.+no grasped Rei-chan's shoulders and held her close.
Now, confronted by this inconceivable situation, she was incredibly disturbed. Why did she have to lose Rei-chan, just because she joined the kendo club?
If asked to pick between Rei-chan and kendo, Yos.h.i.+no would unhesitatingly choose Rei-chan. Rei-chan was so much more important that it would be impossible to even try to weigh them on the same set of scales. So Yos.h.i.+no was confused as to why it had come to this.
"It wouldn't mean I'd have nothing to do with you, Yos.h.i.+no."
Rei-chan very clearly corrected her.
"My feelings for you haven't lessened by even a milligram."
"Okay. In that case, it's fine."
The disturbance in Yos.h.i.+no's heart suddenly stopped completely. Rei-chan hadn't come to hate her. As long as she held on to this, it would be alright.
"Rei-chan. I'll do everything I can for you."
"Yos.h.i.+no&h.e.l.lip;"
Those were her true feelings. No way in the world did she want victory over Rei-chan's existence. Yos.h.i.+no loved Rei-chan more than she loved herself. So the thing that made her happiest, was for Rei-chan to love her back.
"If you say I absolutely have to, I'll quit the kendo club. But, you know."
Yos.h.i.+no offered, although she didn't think that that would be the end of it.
"If I quit, I think you'll get even weaker, Rei-chan. The memory of running away from something difficult will stay with you, and you'll feel indebted to me."
Yos.h.i.+no was thinking as she spoke, so to stop Rei-chan from interrupting she talked faster as she went on and on.
"That's why, right now, I don't want to quit. Either the kendo club, or as your pet.i.t soeur. I'll work as hard as I can so that I don't have to quit either. - That's all."
Yos.h.i.+no stopped and took a breath. She'd said all she wanted to say.
Rei-chan, who'd listened to Yos.h.i.+no's spiel in something of a daze, snapped back to reality at Yos.h.i.+no's, "That's all."
"&h.e.l.lip; How are you going to work hard?"
"Until you're okay with me being in the dojo, I'll stay in the kendo club. This way, your mental strength will grow."
"My mental strength&h.e.l.lip;"
Rei-chan