Six Plays by Lady Florence Henrietta Fisher Darwin Part 36

WILLIAM. Please to set it upon something different, Mother, for I'm not a marrying man, and John he'll tell you the same thing.

MRS. GARDNER. John! I'm sick of the very name of him. I can't think how 'tis that you can lower yourself by being so close with a common farm hand, William.

WILLIAM. Ah, 'twould be a rare hard matter to find the equal to John, Mother. 'Tis of gold all through, and every bit of him, that he is made. You don't see many like John these days, that's the truth.

MRS. GARDNER. Well, then, John, won't be here much longer, for we shan't have anything to give him if things go on like this.

WILLIAM. I'd wed forty wives sooner than lose John--and that I would.

MRS. GARDNER. I'm not asking you to wed forty. 'Tis only one.

WILLIAM. And that one?

MRS. GARDNER. The young person who's got Luther's farm. Her name is Julia.

WILLIAM. [Leaving his flower border and walking up and down thoughtfully.] Would she be the one with the cherry colour ribbons to her gown?

MRS. GARDNER. I'm sure I don't know. I was not at church last Sunday.

WILLIAM. Or t'other one in green?

MRS. GARDNER. You appear to have used your eyes pretty well, William.

WILLIAM. O, I can see a smartish bit about me when I choose.

MRS. GARDNER. T'other wench is but the housekeeper.

WILLIAM. Where did you get that from?

MRS. GARDNER. 'Twas Susan who told me. She got it off someone down in the village.

WILLIAM. Well, which of the maids would have had the cherry-coloured ribbons to her, Mother?

MRS. GARDNER. I'm sure I don't know, but if you go up there courting this afternoon, may happen that you'll find out.

WILLIAM. This afternoon? O, that's much too sudden like.

MRS. GARDNER. Not a bit of it. Recollect, your fancy has been set on her since Sunday.

WILLIAM. Come, Mother, you can't expect a man to jump into the river all of a sudden like this.

MRS. GARDNER. I expect you to go up there this very day and to commence telling her of your feelings.

WILLIAM. But I've got no feelings that I can tell her of, Mother.

MRS. GARDNER. Then you'll please to find some, William.

WILLIAM. 'Tis a thing that in all my life I've never done as to go visiting of a strange wench of an afternoon.

MRS. GARDNER. Then 'tis time you did begin.

WILLIAM. And what's more, I'll not do it, neither.

MRS. GARDNER. Then I must tell John that we have no further need of his services, for where the money to pay him is to come from, I don't know.

[She rolls up her knitting and rises.

WILLIAM. Stop a moment, Mother--stop a moment. Maybe 'twon't be so bad when I've got more used to the idea. You've pitched it upon me so sudden like.

MRS. GARDNER. Rent day has pitched upon me more sudden, William.

WILLIAM. Look you, Mother, I'll get and turn it about in my mind a bit. And, maybe, I'll talk it over with John. I can't do more, can I now?

MRS. GARDNER. Talk it over with whom you please, William. But remember 'tis this very afternoon that you have to start courting.

I've laid your best clothes out all ready on your bed.

WILLIAM. [Sighing heavily.] O then I count there's no way out of it. But how am I to bring it off? 'Tis that I'd like to know.

MRS. GARDNER. Maybe your man will be able to give you some suitable advice. Such things are beyond me, I'm afraid.

[She gathers up her work things, and with a contemptuous look at her son, she goes slowly out of the garden.

[WILLIAM remains on the path lost in perturbed thought. Suddenly he goes to the gate and calls loudly.

WILLIAM. John, John!

JOHN. [From afar.] Yes, master.

WILLIAM. [Calling.] Come you here, John, as quick as you can run.

JOHN. That I will, master.

[JOHN hurries into the garden.

WILLIAM. John, I'm powerful upset.

JOHN. Mistress's fowls bain't got among the flowers again, be they, Master William?

WILLIAM. No, no, John. 'Tisn't so bad as that. But I'm in a smartish fix, I can tell you.

JOHN. How's that, master?

WILLIAM. John, did you ever go a'courting?

JOHN. Well, master, that's a thing to ask a man!

WILLIAM. 'Tis a terrible serious matter, John. Did you ever go?

JOHN. Courting?