A Voyage to Cacklogallinia Part 7

"No matter, he was a great Expence, I shall save at least Forty Pounds a Year by his Death, it's a good Legacy, _Tom_."

He tells him a Lord offer'd him Five Hundred Pounds to carry off his young Lady, but that he refused it, and thought himself obliged to acquaint him with his Lords.h.i.+p's Design.

"You are a Fool, _replies the old Man_; take the Money, I'll consent, we'll snack it--Quit of another. My Lord shan't have a Groat with her. What a Charge are Children! This Lord is the best Friend I have, to take her off my Hands. To be sure bring the Money, carry her to my Lord, and bring the Money; go take Time by the Fore-lock, he may recant, then so much Money's lost. Go, run to my Lord, tell him you'll do it."

Here he thrust the Fellow out, and appear'd with a smiling Countenance.

A Man comes in, and tells him the Exchequer is shut up, Stocks are fallen, a War declar'd, and a new Tax laid on Land; he beats his Breast, groans aloud, and vanishes.

"By this Wretch, _said Abrahijo_, you see the Care and Anxiety wait on the Miserable. The Love of Gold in him has extinguish'd Nature; nay, it predominates over Self-love; for he hastens his End, by not allowing his Body either Rest, or sufficient Nourishment, only that he may encrease the Number of his Coffers."

Another Shade appear'd with a great Crowd of People, huzzaing, a _Venditor_, a _Venditor_; he goes before them, steps into every Shop, enquires after the Health of each Family, kisses the Wives, and out of his thrusts Gold into their Mouths. Here he bows to a Tinker, there embraces a Cobler, shakes a Scavinger by the Hand, stands bare-headed, and compliments an Ale-Wife, invites a Score of Shoemakers, Taylors, Pedlars, Weavers, and Hostlers, to do him the Honour of their Company to Dinner.

The Scene changes; he's at Court, the Ministers repay him his servile Cringes by theirs; one comes up to him, and says, he hopes, when the Bill comes into the House, he will favour him with his Vote for its pa.s.sing: He answers, he shall discharge the Trust reposed in him, like a Man of Honour, in forwarding what is for the Good of his Country, and opposing the contrary, tho' the Consequence were his own Ruin: That he begg'd his Lords.h.i.+p's Pardon, if he dissented from him in Opinion, and did not think what he required warrantable in a Man of Honour.

"You are not well inform'd, _replied the n.o.bleman_, but we'll talk of that another Day, when I hope I shall convince you, that you did not well understand me; my present Business is to wish you Joy, _Courvite_'s Regiment is vacant, and tho' you have never serv'd, your personal Bravery and good Conduct in the Senate have spoke so much in your behalf, that you will to morrow have the Commission sent you."

"My Lord, _replied the Patriot_, this is an unexpected favour, and I am satisfied I owe it to your Lords.h.i.+p's Goodness. I hope an Opportunity to speak my Grat.i.tude, will present it self; in the mean while count upon me, in whatever I can serve your Interest."

At these Words, with a visible Joy in his Looks, he vanish'd.

Three dirty Mechanicks appeared in a Shoemaker's Shop, who was a Dreamer. He was declaiming to his Companions over a Pot of Beer, after the following Manner.

"Look ye, Neighbours, there's an old Proverb says, _It is not the Hood which makes the Monk_; the being born a Gentleman does not make a Man of Sense; and the being bred a Tradesman, does not deprive us of it; for how many great Men have leap'd from the Shop-board, sprung up from the Stall, and have, by patching and heel-piecing Religion and the State, made their Names famous to After-Ages? I can name many, but I shall mention only _John_ of _Leyden_. Now, I see no Reason, why Meanness of Birth should be an Obstacle to Merit, and I am resolved, as I find a great many Things which ought to be redress'd both in Church and State, if you my Friends will stand by me, to aim at the setting both upright: For you must own, they are basely trod awry. Trade is dead, Money is scarce, the Parsons are proud, rich and lazy; War is necessary for the Circulation of Money; and an honest Man may starve in these Times of Peace and Beggary.

"There are a great many Mysteries in Religion, which, as we don't know what to make of them, are altogether unnecessary, and ought to be laid aside, as well as a great many Ceremonies, which ought to be lopp'd off for being chargeable."

The rest gave their a.s.senting Nod, and seem'd to wonder at, and applaud his Eloquency. In a Moment, I saw him preaching to a Mobb against the Luxury of the Age, and telling them it shew'd a Meanness of Spirit to want Necessaries, while the Gentry, by force of long Usurpations on their Rights, rioted in all manner of Excess. That Providence brought none into the World that he might starve; but that all on Earth had a Right to what was necessary to their Support, which they ought to sieze, since the Rich refus'd to share with them. From a Preacher I saw him a Captain of a Rabble, plundering the Houses of the n.o.bility, was terrible to all; and tho' he declared for levelling, would be serv'd with the Pomp and Delicacy of a Prince; marries his Daughters to Lords, h.o.a.rds an immense Treasure, and wakes from his golden Dream.

Another Shade I saw suborning Witnesses, giving them Instructions what to swear, packing Juries, banis.h.i.+ng, hanging and beheading all his Enemies, sending immense Sums to foreign Courts, to support his Power at Home, bribing Senates, and carrying all before him without Controul, when he vanish'd. My _English_ Friend told me, that Soul belong'd to the Body of a Money-Scrivener, who almost crack'd his Brain with Politicks, and thought of nothing less than being a prime Minister. I knew him while I was in the World; his whole Discourse always ran on Liberty, Trade, Free Elections, _&c._ and constantly inveigh'd against all corrupt and self-interested Practices. I saw Persons descended from the ancient n.o.bility fawning on Valets who were arrived to great Preferment for Pimping; I beheld others contriving Schemes, to bring their Wives and Daughters into the Company of Persons in Power, and aiming to gain Preferment for themselves, at the Expence of the Vertue of their Families; nor was there a Vice, a Folly or a Baseness, practised in this World below, tho' ever so secret, which I did not see there represented, the Particulars of which being too long for this Place, I must beg Leave to refer them to the Second Volume of my Voyages.

In the mean time I was allow'd a Week to satisfy my Curiosity, and make my Observations on all the strange things which were there to be seen, which I may justly reckon the most agreeable Part of my whole Life; and also a further Time to refresh my self: Which being done, we prepared for our Journey, being provided with all things necessary for that Purpose.

As I found in my self that longing Desire (which is natural to all Men, who have been long absent from Home) of returning to see my own Country; and being besides unwilling to go back to _Cacklogallinia_, the Actions and Designs of the first Minister, to which I was privy, having made such Impressions upon me, that I was prejudic'd against their whole Nation; nor was that Prejudice remov'd, by being acquainted with their Laws, Customs and Manners, some of which appeared to me unreasonable, and others barbarous.

I say, upon the aforesaid Considerations, I apply'd my self to some of the _Selenites_, whose Courtesy I had already experienced, asking them, whether they could direct me to find out some Part of the Terrestrial World, known and frequented to by _Europeans_: They were so good to give me full and plain Instructions what Course to steer thro' the Air for that Purpose, which I was very well able to follow, having a Pocket Compa.s.s about me, which I brought from _England_, it having long been my Custom never to stir any where without one.

It being necessary to bring _Volatilio_ into the Design, I went to him and told him, that as we were so unfortunate not to succeed in finding out the Country of Gold, it would be adviseable to return home some other Way, in hopes of better Success in going back; otherwise we might, in all Probability, meet with a disagreeable Welcome from the Emperor and the whole Court. _Volatilio_ hearken'd to these Reasons, and besides having the true Spirit of a Projector in him, which is, not to be discouraged at Disappointments, he consented to my Proposal.

Accordingly we set out, and after some Days travelling, we meeting with little or nothing in our Journey differing from our former, we lighted safely upon the _Blue Mountain_ in _Jamaica_. Here I was within my own Knowledge; for having formerly made several Voyages to _Jamaica_, was no Stranger to the Place.

Now therefore I thought it time to acquaint the _Cacklogallinians_ with the innocent Fraud I had put upon them; they seem'd frighted and surprized, as not knowing how to get home to their own Country: For _Volatilio_ apear'd to be quite out of his Element. However, I directed them which Way to steer, which was directly Southward; and having rested for some time, they took their Leave of me, and _Volatilio_, with his _Palanquineers_, began their Flight, as I had directed them, and I never saw them more.

As for my Part, I made the best of my Way to _Kingston_, where coming acquainted with one Captain _Madden_, Commander of the _London Frigate_, he was so kind, upon hearing my Story, to offer to give me my Pa.s.sage _gratis_, with whom having embark'd at _Port Royal_, I reach'd my native Country, after a Pa.s.sage of Nine Weeks.

_FINIS._