The Breitmann Ballads Part 12

Denn 'twas rowdy tow und hop-sa.s.sa, ve hollered, Mann und Weib; "Rip Sam und sed her oop acain! - ve're all of de Shackdaw tribe!"

Vhen Pelz Nickel plow his tromp vonce more, und peg oos to shtop our din, Und droo de oben door dere coomed nine den-pins marchin' in.

Nine vellers tressed like den-pins - dey goed to de end' der hall.

Und dwo Hans Wurst, shack-puddin' glowns - dey rolled at em mit a ball.

De b.a.l.l.s vas paintet peaudiful; dey was vifdeen feet aroundt; Und de rule ov de came: "whoefer cot hidt, moost doomple on de croundt."

Sometimes dey hit de den-pins - sometimes de oder volk- Und pooty soon de gompany vas all laid out in shoke; Boot I dells you vot, it maked oos laugh dill we by-nearly shplits, Vhen der Breitmann he roll ofer, und drip oop de Mina Schmitz.

Dis lets itself in Sharman pe foost-rade word-blayed on, Und 'mongst oos be-gifted vellers you pet dat id vas tone!

How der Breitmann mighdt drafel ash bride-man on de roadt dat ish breit und krumm:[28]

Here de drumpets soundt, and pair-wise ve goed for de sooper-room.

Ve goed for ge-roasted Welsh-hens, ve goed for ge-spickter hare, Ve goed for kartoffel salade mit b.u.t.ter brod,-kaviar: Ve roosh at de lordtly sauer-kraut und de wurst which lofely s.h.i.+ne, Und oh, mein Gott im Kimmel! how we goed for de Mosel-wein!

Und troonker more, und troonker yet, und troonker shtill cot ve, In rosy lighdt shtill drivin on agross a fairy sea; Denn madder, vilder, frantic-er, I proked a salat dis.h.!.+

Und shoost like roarin' elefants ve tantzed aroundt de tish.

I'fe shvimmed in heafenly droonks pefore - boot nefer von like dis; De morgen-het-ache only seemt a bortion of de pliss.

De vhile in trilling peauty roundt like heafenly vind-harps rang A goosh of goldnen melodie - de Rheinweinbechers' Klang.

De meltin' minnesingers' song - a droonk of honey'd rhyme- De b'wildrin-dipsy Bardic shants of Teutoburgic dime; Back to de runic dim Valhall und Balder's foamin' mead:- Here ents in h.e.l.ler glorie schein des Breitmann's Weihnachtslied!

BREITMANN ABOUT TOWN

DER SCHWACKENHAMMER coom to down, Pefore de Fall vas past, Und by der Breitmann drawed he in Ash dreimals honored gast.

"Led's see de sighdts! In self und worldt,- Dere's 'sighdts' for him, to see, Who Selbstanschauungsvermogen hat,"

Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vented to de Opera Haus, Und dere dey vound em blayin', Of Offenbach (der open brook), His show spiel Belle Helene.

"Dere's Offenbach, - Sebastian Bach,- Mit Kaulbach, - dat makes dree: I alvays like sooch brooks ash dese;"

Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vented to de Bibliothek, Vhich Mishder Astor bilt: Some pooks vere only en broschure, Und some vere pound und gilt.

"Dat makes de gold - dat makes de sinn, Mit pooks, ash men, ve see, De pest tressed vellers guilt de most:"- Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vent to see an edidor, Who'd shanged his flag und doon, Und crowed oopon der oder side, Dat very afdernoon.

"De anciends vors.h.i.+pped wetterc.o.c.ks, To wetter fanes pent de knee; Pow down, mein Schwackenhammer, pow!"

Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vented by a panker's hause, Und Schwackenhammer shvore, He only vant a pig red s.h.i.+eld Hoong oop pefore de toor; One side of red, one side of gold, Like de knighds in hisdorie- "De schildern of dat schild is rich,"

Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vent oonto a bicture sale.

Of frames wort' many a cent, De broperty of a shendleman, Who oonto Europe vent.

"Don't gry - he'll soon pe pack again Mit anoder gallerie: He sells dem oud dwelf dimes a year,"

Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vented to dis berson's house, To see his furnidure, Sold oud at aucdion rite afay, Beremdory und sure.

"He geeps six houses all at vonce, Each veek a sale dere pe, Gotts! vot a dime his vife moost hafe!"- Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vent to vind a goot cigar, Long dimes dey roamed apout, Von veller had a pran new sort, De fery latest out "Mein freund - I d.i.n.ks you errs yourself De shmell ish oldt to me; Dat Infamias Stinkadores brand,"- Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vented to de virst hotel, De prandy make dem creep, A trop of id's enough to make A brazen monkey veep.

"Dey say a viner house ash dis, Vill soon ge-bildet pe, Crate Gott! - vot can dey mean to trink?"

Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vented droo de Irish shtreeds, Dey saw vrom haus to haus, Und gountet oop, 'pout more or less, Vive hoondred awful rows.

"If all dese liddle vights dey waste, Could von crate pattle pe, Gotts! how de Fenian funds vouldt rise!"

Said Breitmann, said he.

Dey vent to see de Ridualisds, Who vors.h.i.+p Gott mit vlowers, In hobes he'll lofe dem pack again, In winter among de showers.

"Vhen de Pacific railroat's done, Dis dings imbrofed vill pe, De joss-sticks vill pe santal vood,"- Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vent to hear a breecher of De last sensadion shtyle, 'Twas 'nough to make der teufel weep To see his "awful shmile."

"Vot bities dat der Fechter ne'er Vas in Theologie, Dey'd make him pishop in his shoorsh,"

Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vent indo a shpordin' crib, De rowdies cloostered d.i.c.k, Dey ashk him dell dem vot o'glock, Und dat infernal quick.

Der Breitmann draw'd his 'volver oud, Ash gool ash gool couldt pe, "Id's shoost a goin' to shdrike six,"

Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vent polid'gal meedins next Dey hear dem rant and rail, Der bresident vas a forger, Shoost bardoned oud of jail.

He does it oud of crat.i.tood, To dem who set him vree: "Id's Harmonie of Inderesds,"

Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vent to a clairfoyand witch, A plack-eyed handsome maid, She wahrsagt all deir vortunes - denn "Fife dollars, gents!" she said.

"Dese vitches are nod of dis eart', Und yed are on id, I see, Der Shakesbeare knew de preed right vell,"

Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vented to a restaurand, Der vaiter coot a dash; He garfed a s.h.i.+cken in a vink, Und serfed id at a vlash.

"Dat shap knows vell shoost how to coot Und roon mit poulderie, He vas copitain oonder Turchin vonce,"

Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vented to de Voman's Righds, Vhere laties all agrees, De gals should all pe voters, Und deir beaux all de votees.

"For efery man dat nefer vorks, Von frau should vranchised pe: Dat ish de vay I solfe dis ding,"

Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vented oop, dey vented down, 'Tvas like a roarin' rifer, De sighds vere here - de sighds vere dere- Und de vorldt vent on forefer.

"De more ve trinks, de more ve sees, Dis vorldt a derwisch pe; Das Werden's all von whirling droonk,"

Said Breitemann, said he.

BREITMANN IN POLITICS.

I.

I.-THE NOMINATION