Five Little Plays Part 4

HECTOR. [_Stopping, and staring at her._] What?

BETTY. [_Calmly, looking full at him._] My lover ... these last two years.

HECTOR. [_Staring stupidly at her._] He has been--

BETTY. [_Impatiently, as she taps the floor with her foot._] Yes, yes. How often must I tell you? My lover--don't you know what that means? Why do you stare at me with those fat goggle-eyes of yours? He has been my lover--and now he has fallen in love with this girl and means to marry her. That's all.

HECTOR. [_Turning towards_ WALTER, _who hasn't stirred from the side-table._] What? You?

[WALTER _remains motionless and silent._

HECTOR. [_In m.u.f.fled tones, scarcely able to speak._] You! It's true what this woman says?

BETTY. [_Contemptuously._] This woman! Don't be so melodramatic! Have you forgotten my name?

HECTOR. [_Turning fiercely to her, roaring madly._] Silence, Jezebel!

[_She shrinks back, in alarm, towards the fire._] Your name! Wait a bit, I'll tell you! [_He takes a step towards her--she crouches in terror against the wall._] You shall hear what your name is! Just now I'm dealing with _him._ [_He swings round to_ WALTER.] You there, you skunk and thief!

You, you lying hound! I was your best friend. So you've taken my wife, have you? And now mean to go off and marry this girl. That's it? Oh, it's so simple! Here--come here--sit down. Sit down, I tell you. Here, in this chair. Shall I have to drag you to it? I want to keep my hands off you.

Here. [WALTER _has moved slowly towards him._ HECTOR _has banged down a chair behind the centre table,_ WALTER _sits in it_--HECTOR _speaks over his shoulder to_ BETTY.] And you--fetch pen and ink and paper--

BETTY. [_In abject panic._] Hector--

HECTOR. [_Turning fiercely and scowling at her._] If you speak to me I'll brain you too. Just you go in there and fetch the things. D'you hear? Go.

[_She moves into the other room._ HECTOR _swings round to_ WALTER.] As for you, you're a scoundrel. A rogue, a thief, a liar, a traitor. Of the very worst kind, the blackest. Not an ordinary case of a husband and wife--I trusted you--you were my best friend. You sp.a.w.n, you thing of the gutter, you foul-hearted, d.a.m.nable slug!

[BETTY _comes back, dragging her feet, carrying paper and envelopes and a stylograph--she puts them on the table._

HECTOR. Not that stylograph--that's mine--his dirty hands shan't touch it--I could never use it again. Fetch _your_ pen--yours--you belong to him, don't you? Go in and fetch it. D'you hear?

[BETTY _goes into the inner room again._

HECTOR. My wife. And you the man I've done more for than for any one else in the world. The man I cared for, you low dog. Used my house--came here because it was dull at the Club--and took my wife? I don't know why I don't kill you. I've the right. But I won't. You shall pay for it, my fine fellow--you are going to pay--now.

[BETTY _brings a pen and an inkstand; she places them on the table;_ HECTOR _seizes them and pushes them in front of_ WALTER.

BETTY _slinks to the other side of the room, and stands by the sofa._

HECTOR. [_To_ WALTER.] Now you write. You hear? You write what I dictate.

Word for word. What's the old brute's name?

WALTER. Whose?

HECTOR. Whose! Her father, the sealing-wax man, old Gillingham?

WALTER. [_Staring._] Gillingham?

HECTOR. Gillingham. Yes. What is it?

WALTER. You want me to write to him?

HECTOR. [_Nodding._] To him. Who else? A confession? I've had that. His name?

WALTER. [_Dropping the pen and half rising._] I won't--

HECTOR. [_Springing upon him in a mad fury, and forcing him back into the chair._] You won't, you dog! You dare say that--to me! By Heaven, you will! You'll lick the dust off this floor, if I tell you! You'll go on your hands and knees, and crawl! Sit down, you! Sit down and take up your filthy pen. So. [_Thoroughly cowed,_ WALTER _has taken up the pen again._]

And now--his name. Don't make me ask you again, I tell you, don't. What is it?

WALTER. Richard.

HECTOR. Very well, Richard. So write that down. To Richard Gillingham. I have to-day proposed to your daughter, and she has accepted me. Got that?

She has accepted me. But I can't marry her--can't marry her--because I have seduced the wife of my friend Hector Allen--

WALTER. [_Appealingly, dropping his pen._] Hector!

HECTOR. [_Frantically gripping_ WALTER _by the throat, till he takes up his pen again._] The wife of my friend Hector Allen--write it--and plainly, you hound, plainly--so--and because I am taking the woman away with me to-night.

BETTY. [_With a loud cry._] Hector!

HECTOR. [_Over his shoulder, watching_ WALTER _write._] Silence, over there, you! Hold your tongue! Go into your room and put on your things--we've done with you here! Take what you want--I don't care--you don't show your face here again. And you--[_he taps his clenched hand against_ WALTER'S _arm_] write. What are you stopping for? How far have you got? [_He peers over_ WALTER'S _shoulder._] Because--I--am--taking-- the--woman--away--with--me--to-night.

BETTY. [_Beside herself, wringing her hands._] Hector, Hector--

HECTOR. [_Savagely, as he makes a half-turn towards her._] You still there? Wait a bit. I'll come to you, when I've finished with him. If you haven't gone and put on your things, you shall go off without them. Into the street. You'll find other women there like you. [_He turns back to_ WALTER.] Here, you, have you written? [_He looks over_ WALTER'S _shoulder._] Go on--I'm getting impatient. Go on, I tell you.

I--am--taking--the--

[WALTER _is slowly writing down the words,_ HECTOR _standing over him;_ BETTY _suddenly bursts into a peal of wild, uproarious laughter, and lets herself fall into a chair to the left of the card-table._

HECTOR. [_Madly._] You!

[_He leaves_ WALTER, _and almost springs at her._

BETTY. [_Br.i.m.m.i.n.g with merriment._] Oh, you old donkey! _How_ we have pulled your leg!

HECTOR. [_Staring at her, stopping dead short._] You--

BETTY. [_Through her laughter, choking._] Hector, Hector! Conventional situations! The usual stodge! The lover and husband! You goose, you wonderful old goose!

[WALTER, _with a mighty effort, has pulled himself together, and roars with laughter too. He jumps up._ HECTOR _is standing there blinking, paralysed._

WALTER. [_Merrily, to_ BETTY.] Oh really, you shouldn't. You've given it away too soon!

BETTY. Too soon! He'd have strangled us. Did you ever see such a tiger?

WALTER. [_Chuckling hugely._] He didn't give the lover much chance to stand up to him, did he?

BETTY. And _wasn't_ he original! Dog, hound, villain, traitor!

WALTER. To say nothing of Jezebel! Though, between ourselves, I think he meant Messalina!