“Call me ‘ge’.” I liked it when he called me ‘ge’. It felt nice.
My name was just too outdated.
“Ge.” He flashed a meaningful smile. “Yes or no?”
I wanted to try it. Although I had considered becoming a monk many times, being a virgin boy was nothing to be proud of.
I was very nervous but I did not want him to know. I was the ‘ge’ for goodness’ sake.
Thank goodness I sometimes stayed over at the shop so I had some towels and soap and stuff. I pushed him into the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash up—face, feet, b.u.t.t, everything—while I made the bed.
“OCD!”
“Who’re you to say that?” I retorted. I had not forgotten about that pig sty.
The little punk went in to wash up unwillingly.
I suddenly had a thought. I wondered if it was his first time. Meanwhile, I started peeking.
“Ahh! You creep! Pervert!” I felt utterly embarra.s.sed being called out by him.
“What’re you screaming about? You’re going to alarm the neighbourhood watch!” I then added after a short pause, “And so what if I look?”
His b.u.t.t was really pale.
He insisted on turning off the lights and I was too shy so I did.
The metal cot was very narrow so the two of us could only huddle close together under one blanket.
I thought about this too many times to count. I caressed everything from each rib bone along his torso, the two small, hard nipples and his waist and back to his firm b.u.t.t and member.
“We got all night,” he panted roughly. “There’s no rush.”
I was in a rush. I sealed his lips with mine; it tasted like Colgate. He had thirty-two teeth. d.a.m.n, I only had twenty-eight.
I was already hard. I knew what to do but I had never done it before.
Unexpectedly, he chortled and then grabbed it with his cool hands and stroked it.
Ahhh!
I bit hard on my bottom lip.
d.a.m.n that feels good.
A hundred times better than my own hand. His hand—oh my G.o.d!
It’s his mouth. I’m in his mouth. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I was up in cloud nine, literally.
By the time I landed on solid earth again, we were both sticky with sweat. His member was poking my thigh. I reached out and grabbed it.
Oh s.h.i.+t, I’m sorry.
I used a bit too much force as it was my first time. He hissed out in pain and I freaked out, but he only chuckled. He put a hand over mine and started moving slowly.
The result of our two hands stroking his member was that I got hard again.
“Pretty enthusiastic, aren’t we?” He breathed in my ear after coming once.
I was in a rush so I rubbed myself against his thigh. I had thought I would have a monk’s life: I did not even have any desires of this kind when I was twenty. I suppose I just never met the right person.
He started joking with me, reaching behind and pressing on my backdoor. It gave me a fright.
Not this. Not this, right?
“Pffft! Look at you, all scared.” He took his hand back but that made me feel bad. “Do me, ‘kay?”
Huh?
He turned around, spat into his hand and reached for his own behind. He only smeared it a couple of times before trying to stick my thing in.
Anyone with the tiniest amount of common sense would know that place was not made as an entrance. It was not going to be easy.
“Ju-just use your hand.”
“Shut up!” I could feel the daggers flying at me even with the lights off. He really wanted me to f.u.c.k him, huh?
The arrow was nocked and ready to go so I couldn’t stop myself. With his hand’s guidance, I steadied his waist and went for it. I had prepared for failure and even was considering with the remaining brain cells the possibility of using vanis.h.i.+ng cream as lubricant when I went all the way in.
He was tight but it was definitely not his first time, nor his second or third time, but his nth time. But I couldn’t care less. It felt so d.a.m.n good. I just kept going and going and going. Only when I was done feeling good did I notice he was quivering a little. Okay, not just a little. He was practically shaking like a leaf and his back was covered with sweat.
“Does it hurt. I’m–”
He didn’t make a sound but I spotted his hands clinging tightly onto the bar on the side of the cot.
How could I be so stupid? I quickly reached down to his b.u.t.t. It wasn’t bleeding. I knew it wasn’t bleeding but his little guy was all shrunken up.
“Binbin , does it hurt? I’m so sorry. Say something, won’t you?”
“I’m. Okay.” It sounded like he was speaking through clenched teeth. “I’ll. Letchu. Off this time. Just you. Wait ‘til my turn.”
It made me feel even worse seeing him taunting me and trying to make me feel better while suffering so much pain.
Really, this guy.
I held him and let him lie on top of me with his chin on my shoulder. He liked this position.
I swept my hand back and forth on his back. It was not as smooth as his thighs. I guessed there were some scars.
After some deliberation, I still asked, “Did that Wu guy do anything to you when you were in the detention centre?”
I felt him stiffen. He did not reply.
I felt so guilty.
It was completely understandable for him to not have pleaded for homicide out of self-defense. I mean, who would want other people to know about those things? Yet, what I had just done…
The next thing I knew, he was kissing me.
“It wasn’t self-defense. I started beating the c.r.a.p outta him before he could do anything.”
I didn’t believe him.
“Believe it or not.”
“But Binbin–”
“I just hate people like him.” I could hear the chilling, murderous intent in his voice. I believed him.
Is that so? But then why?
I really wanted to ask: Before me, who else did you…
But he was so tired, I couldn’t possibly ask that.
Let the past be the past. I just wanted to be with him.
When I woke up in the morning, he was already getting dressed.
There were many pale, white scars on his back, only a bit lighter than his skin colour—probably old wounds. There was also a brown, fist-sized scar near his waist of unknown origin.
Ding Hongmei’s lover was a s.a.d.i.s.tic brute.
He noticed that I had woken up so he whisked around. “You’re peeking again!”
I stuck my arms out. “Come snuggle, Binbin.”
“Cheesy.” He dived on top of me. Thank G.o.d the cot was st.u.r.dy.
I hugged him tight, really, really tight. “You f.u.c.k me next time.”
“Don’t need to say that twice. I’m a pro.”
×××
He went to Shanghai the next day.
I wanted to ask him to stay. But I was a bit too shy.
He laughed at me.
And promised to study hard and not go down the wrong path.
But he broke that promise.