The Parent's Assistant Part 38

(_Exit Landlady, angry._)

SCENE III

JUSTICE HEADSTRONG, OLD MAN, _and_ LUCY

_Lucy._ Ah, now, I'm glad he can speak; now tell papa; and you need not be afraid to speak to him, for he is very good-natured. Don't contradict him, though, because he told _me_ not.

_Just._ Oh, darling, _you_ shall contradict me as often as you please--only not before I've drunk my chocolate, child--hey? Go on, my good friend; you see what it is to live in Old England, where, thank Heaven, the poorest of His Majesty's subjects may have justice, and speak his mind before the first in the land. Now speak on; and you hear she tells you that you need not be afraid of me. Speak on.

_Old M._ I thank your wors.h.i.+p, I'm sure.

_Just._ Thank me! for what, sir? I won't be thanked for doing justice, sir; so--but explain this matter. You lost your money, hey, at the 'Saracen's Head'? You had it safe last night, hey?--and you missed it this morning? Are you sure you had it safe at night?

_Old M._ Oh, please your wors.h.i.+p, quite sure; for I took it out and looked at it just before I said my prayers.

_Just._ You did--did ye so?--hum! Pray, my good friend, where might you put your money when you went to bed?

_Old M._ Please, your wors.h.i.+p, where I always put it--always--in my tobacco-box.

_Just._ Your tobacco-box! I never heard of such a thing--to make a _strong box_ of a tobacco-box. Ha! ha! ha! hum!--and you say the box and all were gone in the morning?

_Old M._ No, please your wors.h.i.+p, no; not the box--the box was never stirred from the place where I put it. They left me the box.

_Just._ Tut, tut, tut, man!--took the money and left the box? I'll never believe _that_! I'll never believe that any one could be such a fool.

Tut, tut! the thing's impossible! It's well you are not upon oath.

_Old M._ If I were, please your wors.h.i.+p, I should say the same; for it is the truth.

_Just._ Don't tell me, don't tell me; I say the thing is impossible.

_Old M._ Please your wors.h.i.+p, here's the box.

_Just._ (_goes on without looking at it_). Nonsense! nonsense! it's no such thing; it's no such thing, I say--no man would take the money and leave the tobacco-box. I won't believe it. Nothing shall make me believe it ever--that's poz.

_Lucy_ (_takes the box and holds it up before her father's eyes_). You did not see the box, did you, papa?

_Just._ Yes, yes, yes, child--nonsense! it's all a lie from beginning to end. A man who tells one lie will tell a hundred. All a lie!--all a lie!

_Old M._ If your wors.h.i.+p would give me leave----

_Just._ Sir, it does not signify--it does not signify! I've said it, I've said it, and that's enough to convince me, and I'll tell you more; if my Lord Chief Justice of England told it to me, I would not believe it--that's poz!

_Lucy_ (_still playing with the box_). But how comes the box here, I wonder?

_Just._ Pshaw! pshaw! pshaw! darling. Go to your dolls, darling, and don't be positive--go to your dolls, and don't talk of what you don't understand. What can you understand, I want to know, of the law?

_Lucy._ No, papa, I didn't mean about the law, but about the box; because, if the man had taken it, how could it be here, you know, papa?

_Just._ Hey, hey, what? Why, what I say is this, that I don't dispute that that box, that you hold in your hands, is a box; nay, for aught I know, it may be a tobacco-box--but it's clear to me that if they left the box they did not take the money; and how do you dare, sir, to come before Justice Headstrong with a lie in your mouth? recollect yourself, I'll give you time to recollect yourself.

(_A pause._)

_Just._ Well, sir; and what do you say now about the box?

_Old M._ Please your wors.h.i.+p, with submission, I _can_ say nothing but what I said before.

_Just._ What, contradict me again, after I gave you time to recollect yourself! I've done with you; I have done. Contradict me as often as you please, but you cannot impose upon me; I defy you to impose upon me!

_Old M._ Impose!

_Just._ I know the law!--I know the law!--and I'll make you know it, too. One hour I'll give you to recollect yourself, and if you don't give up this idle story, I'll--I'll commit you as a vagrant--that's poz! Go, go, for the present. William, take him into the servants' hall, do you hear?--What, take the money, and leave the box? I'll never do it--that's poz!

(_Lucy speaks to the Old Man as he is going off._)

_Lucy._ Don't be frightened! don't be frightened!--I mean, if you tell the truth, never be frightened.

_Old M._ _If_ I tell the truth--(_turning up his eyes_).

(_Old Man is still held back by the young lady._)

_Lucy._ One moment--answer me one question--because of something that just came into my head. Was the box shut fast when you left it?

_Old M._ No, miss, no!--open--it was open; for I could not find the lid in the dark--my candle went out. _If_ I tell the truth--oh!

(_Exit._)

SCENE IV

_Justice's Study--the Justice is writing_

_Old M._ Well!--I shall have but few days' more misery in this world!

_Just._ (_looks up_). Why! why--why then, why will you be so positive to persist in a lie? Take the money and leave the box! Obstinate blockhead!

Here, William (_showing the committal_), take this old gentleman to Holdfast, the constable, and give him this warrant.

_Enter_ LUCY, _running, out of breath._

_Lucy._ I've found it! I've found it! Here, old man; here's your money--here it is all--a guinea and a half, and a s.h.i.+lling and a sixpence, just as he said, papa.

_Enter_ LANDLADY.

_Land._ Oh la! your wors.h.i.+p, did you ever hear the like?

_Just._ I've heard nothing yet that I can understand. First, have you secured the thief, I say?

_Lucy_ (_makes signs to the landlady to be silent_). Yes, yes, yes! we have him safe--we have him prisoner. Shall he come in, papa?