Life of Lord Byron Volume III Part 18

LETTER 210. TO MR. MOORE.

"January 19. 1815.

"Egad! I don't think he is 'down;' and my prophecy--like most auguries, sacred and profane--is not annulled, but inverted.

"To your question about the 'dog'[64]--Umph!--my 'mother,' I won't say any thing against--that is, about her: but how long a 'mistress' or friend may recollect paramours or compet.i.tors (l.u.s.t and thirst being the two great and only bonds between the amatory or the amicable) I can't say,--or, rather, you know, as well as I could tell you. But as for canine recollections, as far as I could judge by a cur of mine own, (always bating Boatswain, the dearest and, alas! the maddest of dogs,) I had one (half a _wolf_ by the she side) that doted on me at ten years old, and very nearly ate me at twenty. When I thought he was going to enact Argus, he bit away the backside of my breeches, and never would consent to any kind of recognition, in despite of all kinds of bones which I offered him.

So, let Southey blush and Homer too, as far as I can decide upon quadruped memories.

"I humbly take it, the mother knows the son that pays her jointure--a mistress her mate, till he * * and refuses salary--a friend his fellow, till he loses cash and character--and a dog his master, till he changes him.

"So, you want to know about milady and me? But let me not, as Roderick Random says, 'profane the chaste mysteries of Hymen'[65]--d.a.m.n the word, I had nearly spelt it with a small _h_.

I like Bell as well as you do (or did, you villain!) Bessy--and that is (or was) saying a great deal.

"Address your next to Seaham, Stockton-on-Tees, where we are going on Sat.u.r.day (a bore, by the way,) to see father-in-law, Sir Jacob, and my lady's lady-mother. Write--and write more at length--both to the public and yours ever most affectionately,

"B."

[Footnote 64: I had just been reading Mr. Southey's fine poem of "Roderick;" and with reference to an incident in it, had put the following question to Lord Byron:--"I should like to know from you, who are one of the philocynic sect, whether it is probable, that any dog (out of a melodrame) could recognise a master, whom neither his own mother or mistress was able to find out. I don't care about Ulysses's dog, &c.--all I want is to know from _you_ (who are renowned as 'friend of the dog, companion of the bear') whether such a thing is probable."]

[Footnote 65: The letter H. is blotted in the MS.]

LETTER 211. TO MR. MOORE.

"Seaham, Stockton-on-Tees, February 2. 1815.

"I have heard from London that you have left Chatsworth and all the women full of 'entusymusy'[66] about you, personally and poetically; and, in particular, that 'When first I met thee' has been quite overwhelming in its effect. I told you it was one of the best things you ever wrote, though that dog Power wanted you to omit part of it. They are all regretting your absence at Chatsworth, according to my informant--'all the ladies quite,' &c.

&c. &c. Stap my vitals!

"Well, now you have got home again--which I dare say is as agreeable as a 'draught of cool small beer to the scorched palate of a waking sot'--now you have got home again, I say, probably I shall hear from you. Since I wrote last, I have been transferred to my father-in-law's, with my lady and my lady's maid, &c. &c. &c.

and the treacle-moon is over, and I am awake, and find myself married. My spouse and I agree to--and in--admiration. Swift says 'no _wise_ man ever married;' but, for a fool, I think it the most ambrosial of all possible future states. I still think one ought to marry upon _lease_; but am very sure I should renew mine at the expiration, though next term were for ninety and nine years.

"I wish you would respond, for I am here 'oblitusque meorum obliviscendus et illis.' Pray tell me what is going on in the way of intriguery, and how the w----s and rogues of the upper Beggar's Opera go on--or rather go off--in or after marriage; or who are going to break any particular commandment. Upon this dreary coast, we have nothing but county meetings and s.h.i.+pwrecks; and I have this day dined upon fish, which probably dined upon the crews of several colliers lost in the late gales. But I saw the sea once more in all the glories of surf and foam,--almost equal to the Bay of Biscay, and the interesting white squalls and short seas of Archipelago memory.

"My papa, Sir Ralpho, hath recently made a speech at a Durham tax-meeting; and not only at Durham, but here, several times since, after dinner. He is now, I believe, speaking it to himself (I left him in the middle) over various decanters, which can neither interrupt him nor fall asleep,--as might possibly have been the case with some of his audience. Ever thine, B.

"I must go to tea--d.a.m.n tea. I wish it was Kinnaird's brandy, and with you to lecture me about it."

[Footnote 66: It was thus that, according to his account, a certain celebrated singer and actor used frequently to p.r.o.nounce the word "enthusiasm."]

LETTER 212. TO MR. MURRAY.

"Seaham, Stockton-upon-Tees, February 2. 1815.

"You will oblige me very much by making an occasional enquiry at Albany, at my chambers, whether my books, &c. are kept in tolerable order, and how far my old woman[67] continues in health and industry as keeper of my old den. Your parcels have been duly received and perused; but I had hoped to receive 'Guy Mannering'

before this time. I won't intrude further for the present on your avocations, professional or pleasurable, but am, as usual,

"Very truly," &c.

[Footnote 67: Mrs. Mule.]

LETTER 213. TO MR. MOORE.

"February 4. 1815.

"I enclose you half a letter from * *, which will explain itself--at least the latter part--the former refers to private business of mine own. If Jeffrey will take such an article, and you will undertake the revision, or, indeed, any portion of the article itself, (for unless _you do_, by Phoebus, I will have nothing to do with it,) we can cook up, between us three, as pretty a dish of sour-crout as ever tipped over the tongue of a bookmaker.

"You can, at any rate, try Jeffrey's inclination. Your late proposal from him made me hint this to * *, who is a much better proser and scholar than I am, and a very superior man indeed.

Excuse haste--answer this. Ever yours most,

"B.

"P.S. All is well at home. I wrote to you yesterday."

LETTER 214. TO MR. MOORE.

"February 10. 1815.

"My dear Tom,

"Jeffrey has been so very kind about me and my d.a.m.nable works, that I would not be indirect or equivocal with him, even for a friend.

So, it may be as well to tell him that it is not mine; but that if I did not firmly and truly believe it to be much better than I could offer, I would never have troubled him or you about it. You can judge between you how far it is admissible, and reject it, if not of the right sort. For my own part, I have no interest in the article one way or the other, further than to oblige * *; and should the composition be a good one, it can hurt neither party,--nor, indeed, any one, saving and excepting Mr. * * * *.

"Curse catch me if I know what H * * means or meaned about the demonstrative p.r.o.noun[68], but I admire your fear of being inoculated with the same. Have you never found out that you have a particular style of your own, which is as distinct from all other people, as Hafiz of s.h.i.+raz from Hafiz of the Morning Post?

"So you allowed B * * and such like to hum and haw you, or, rather, Lady J * * out of her compliment, and _me_ out of mine.[69]

Sun-burn me, but this was pitiful-hearted. However, I will tell her all about it when I see her.

"Bell desires me to say all kinds of civilities, and a.s.sure you of her recognition and high consideration. I will tell you of our movements south, which may be in about three weeks from this present writing. By the way, don't engage yourself in any travelling expedition, as I have a plan of travel into Italy, which we will discuss. And then, think of the poesy wherewithal we should overflow, from Venice to Vesuvius, to say nothing of Greece, through all which--G.o.d willing--we might perambulate in one twelve months. If I take my wife, you can take yours; and if I leave mine, you may do the same. 'Mind you stand by me in either case, Brother Bruin.'

"And believe me inveterately yours,

"B"

[Footnote 68: Some remark which he told me had been made with respect to the frequent use of the demonstrative p.r.o.noun both by himself and by Sir W. Scott.]

[Footnote 69: Verses to Lady J * * (containing an allusion to Lord Byron), which I had written, while at Chatsworth, but consigned afterwards to the flames.]

LETTER 215. TO MR. MOORE.