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She wanted to arouse the household, and send for a doctor, but Jessie pleaded most pitifully.
"You are very, very ill," cried Dorothy, in agony. "I must send for some one, or you will die!"
"Hus.h.!.+ I want to die!" cried Jessie, in a low whisper; "that is just it; I do not want to live."
Dorothy tried to soothe her, thinking it was but the idle vagaries of a wandering mind.
CHAPTER x.x.x.
"Hus.h.!.+" cried Jessie, sinking back on her pillow, and clutching frantically the hand that held hers. "You must not call any one. I want to die! I am so tired of living. I want to tell you my story, Mrs.
Brown--it seems to me that I shall go wild if I do not tell some one; and you seem so sympathetic and kind. May I trust you?" she whispered, with a great tremor in her voice.
"Yes," said Dorothy, slowly; "anything that you may say to me I will hold sacred."
"You are very good," returned the other. "You would think," she began, quickly, "that with wealth, and being the _fiancee_ of a n.o.ble young man like Mr. Garner, and so soon to marry him, that I was the happiest girl in the world."
"Yes," returned the other, choking back a sob.
"I was not always surrounded by wealth and affluence, as you see me now," commenced Jessie Staples, burying her head in her pillow. "Only a few short months ago I was poorer than you are now, and worked for my daily bread. Among the companions who stood side by side with me was one, a lovely girl whom I loved with all my heart.
"She was gay and thoughtless, the life of the work-room, with her bright, girlish, mischievous pranks. Though they called her 'Madcap Dorothy,' yet every one loved her for her bright, winning ways.
"There was one employed in the same place whom I had loved ever since I could remember--loved in secret, making no sign, for it was hopeless--as he loved pretty Madcap Dorothy, and loved her with all the strength of his great, n.o.ble, manly heart.
"I was her best friend, even though she was in secret my rival. I did not care for myself. I only wanted to see the two whom I loved so well happy. One of them was Jack Garner, and the other Dorothy; and I will tell you of her."
"She was young, and gay, and pretty, as I have said, and she knew it.
She knew that she had all of Jack's heart, but she longed for more heroes to conquer.
"One fatal day--oh, how well I remember it!--she fell in love with a handsome, black-eyed stranger--a car conductor on Broadway. That was the beginning of the end for Jack, who loved her so. One fatal day she ran away with the stranger and was never heard of again.
"Rumor has it that later on he tired of her, and was soon to lead to the altar a proud and lovely young girl--a school-girl--who had never known what it was to earn her bread, as did poor, pretty Madcap Dorothy.
"Dorothy's desertion nearly cost Jack Garner his life. I went and nursed him and took care of him; and when he recovered, his mother was stricken low, and I in turn nursed her.
"In the darkest hour of that terrible illness, when we were all gathered about her bedside, waiting for the angel of death to stoop and bear her away to that bright land that knows no grief nor partings, suddenly she beckoned Jack near her.
"'Oh, mother, is there anything that you wish?' he cried. 'Anything that I can do for you? Tell me if there is.'
"'Yes,' she whispered, 'there is one thing you could do, my son, that would make death easier to me. I--I could die happy if you would do as I ask.'
"'I promise you beforehand, mother,' he cried, 'if there is anything which I can do, it shall be done.'
"Feebly her hand crept toward mine and drew it toward Jack's, clasping them both together.
"'She has saved your life, my boy,' she whispered, 'and she has been as faithful as an angel to me--unto the last of mine. If you care for your mother's wishes, ask her to marry you, here and now. I love her as dearly as my life, Jack. My one wish in this world is to see you wedded to each other. You must say "Yes" or "No."'
"He buried his head in his hands, and I could see his stalwart form shake like a reed in a blast.
"He hesitated, but only for an instant. Slowly he raised his head, and I could see that his face was as white as death, in the dim-shaded light of the lamp. Then slowly he stretched out his hand toward me.
"'You know of my past, Jessie,' he said, huskily, 'and you know that my life-hopes were blasted. Will you take me under these conditions--if not for my sake, for--for my mother's?'
"I could not tell you the emotions that swept through my heart in that one moment of time.
"I do not know in what words I answered him; but, even without scarcely realizing what I did, my hand crept into his strong, cold one, and I nodded my head. I could not have spoken to have saved my life--my heart was too full for utterance.
"Mrs. Garner did not die that night, and she has always said ever since that she believed that promise brought her back from the gates of death to be a living witness to our happiness.
"Three months pa.s.sed, with, oh! such unspeakable joy for me. My lover was all that a lover could be; still, there were times when I thought Jack's heart was not in his words, but was far away with the girl who had so cruelly jilted him.
"At length the wedding invitations were printed and sent out, and only a week later the terrible _denouement_ came that has shattered all my hopes.
"I was about to enter Mrs. Garner's _boudoir_ one night, when I heard the sound of voices.
"Playfully I drew back, for I had recognized Jack's voice. I had a little gift for him, and I was hesitating a moment as to whether I should take it in and lay it on his lap, or wait until the next morning and give it to him in the library. Jack was pacing up and down, and I saw through the door, which was slightly ajar, that his face was very pale and stormy--and this was something unusual with calm, placid, courteous Jack.
"'For Heaven's sake, don't nag me any more, mother,' he cried, 'or you will drive me mad! Constant dripping will in time wear out even a stone.
I have ruined my life to satisfy one of your whims; surely that ought to suffice. If I can't have peace in the house, I will take my hat and walk out of it. I can not endure this eternal nagging, that I must treat Jessie better--more as becomes a betrothed lover. You know very well that I do not love her. My marriage with her will be all your doing. My heart is with Dorothy; and when a man loves as I loved her, even if that love is destroyed, no one can ever fill the same niche in his affections. It is an impossibility. So, have done with this subject, mother, at once and forever.
"'I shall marry Jessie, because I am pledged to do so. I will make her life as happy as I can. She need never know that my heart is not hers, although she will bear my name.'
"I--I--never knew how I groped my way into an adjoining room," continued Jessie, "and there I sank down unconscious.
"How long I remained there I never knew. When I came to, Mrs. Garner, greatly frightened, was kneeling beside me and laving my face with eau-de-Cologne.
"And I knew by the fearful look in her eyes that she suspected that I had found out about Jack not caring for me.
"'Tell me what is the matter, my little Jessie!' she said, clasping me in her arms and pillowing my head on her breast.
"In broken gasps I told her, adding that I was going away--back to the poverty from which they had taken me, and Jack should never see my face again. Oh! how she prayed and pleaded with me on her bended knees, crying out:
"'If you love me, Jessie, do not break from Jack. I am sure he did not mean all he said. He was only incensed a little at me. He would not have you know it for the whole wide world. Oh, believe me, Jessie! Do not try to break my heart by your rash action. The marriage invitations have gone forth. What could we say to the people? Think of the scandal, Jessie, and save us from it. Let my words be a prayer to you. I am older than you are, Jessie. Let me tell you how this will be:
"'There might be in his heart only deep respect for you, but when he marries you, he will learn to love you. Every man loves his wife.'
"Against my own will and my better judgment, I allowed her to persuade me.
"I made no mention to Jack of what I had learned, but every day it has eaten into my heart like a worm in the heart of a rose.
"I loved him so well, I was only too willing to hold to him. I did not have the strength to follow the dictates of my own will; and now, G.o.d help me! the day is drawing nearer and nearer. What shall I do?
"My brain is going mad with the torturous thought that I shall stand at the altar by the side of a man who does not love me--whose heart is given to another.