The White Sister - LightNovelsOnl.com
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It was a challenge if it was not a threat, and Sister Giovanna defended herself as she could. But she was painfully conscious that something in her responded with a thrill to the cry of the pursuer.
Nevertheless, she answered with a firm refusal.
'You cannot make me do what I will not,' she said.
'I can and I will!' he retorted vehemently. 'It is monstrous that you should be bound by a promise made in ignorance, under a wretched mistake, on a false report that I was dead!'
'We were not even formally betrothed----'
'We loved each other,' interrupted Giovanni, 'and we had told each other so. That is enough. We belong to each other just as truly as if we were man and wife----'
'Even if we were,' said the nun, interrupting him in her turn, 'if I had taken my vows in the belief that my husband had been dead for years, I would not ask to be released!'
He stared at her, his temper suddenly chilled in amazement.
'But if it were a mistake,' he objected, 'if the Pope offered you a dispensation, would you refuse it?'
Sister Giovanna was prepared, for she had thought of that.
'If you had given a man your word of honour to pay a debt you owed him, would you break your promise if you suddenly found that you could use the money in another way, which would give you the keenest pleasure?'
'That is quite different! How can you ask such an absurd question?'
'It is not absurd, and the case is not so different as you think. I have given my word to G.o.d in heaven, and I must pay my debt.'
Giovanni was indignant again, and rebelled.
'You used to tell me that your G.o.d was just!'
'And I have heard you say that your only G.o.d was honour!' retorted the nun.
'Yes!' he answered hotly. 'It is! Honour teaches that the first promise given must be fulfilled before all others!'
'I have been taught that vows made to G.o.d must not be broken.'
She rose, as if the speech were final. Though they had been talking only a few minutes, she already felt that she could not bear much more.
'Surely you are not going already!' he cried, starting to his feet.
Sister Giovanna turned so that she was face to face with him.
'What is there left to say?' she asked, with a great effort.
'Everything! I told you that I would answer when you had finished, and now that you have nothing left to say, you must hear me! You said you would----'
'I said that there could be no answer.' Nevertheless she waited, motionless.
'But there is! The answer is that I will free you from the slavery to which you have sold your soul! The answer is, I love you, and it is yourself I love, the woman you are now, not the memory of your shadow from long ago, but you, you, your very self!'
Half out of his mind, he tried to seize her by the arm, to draw her to him; but he only caught her sleeve, and dropped it as she sprang back with a lightness and maiden grace that almost drove him mad. She drew herself up, offended and hurt.
'Remember what I am, and where you are!'
Giovanni's manner changed so suddenly that she would have been suspicious, if she had not been too much disturbed to reason. She fancied that she still controlled him.
'You are right,' he said; 'I beg your pardon. Only tell me when I may see you again.'
'Not for a long time--not till you can give me your word that you will control yourself. Till then, we must say good-bye.'
He was so quiet, all at once, that it was easier to say the word than she had expected.
'No,' he answered, 'not good-bye, for even if you will not see me, I shall be near you.'
'Near? Where?'
'I am living in my brother's rooms at the Magazine. I am in charge till he gets well. I asked permission to take his place on the day I arrived, from the Minister himself.'
'You have taken his place!' She could not keep her anxiety out of her voice.
'Yes, and I hope to get a shot at the fellow who wounded Ugo. But the post suits me, for the upper part of this house is in sight of my windows. If you look out towards the river, you can see where I live.'
He spoke so gently that she lingered instead of leaving him at once, as she had meant to do.
'And besides,' he went on, in the same tone, 'I shall come here every day until my brother can go home. I may meet you at any moment, in going to his room. You will not refuse to speak to me, will you?'
He smiled. He seemed quite changed within a few moments. But she shook her head.
'You will not see me here again,' she answered, 'for my week's turn as supervising nurse will be over this evening and I am going to a private case.'
'To-night?' Giovanni asked, with a little surprise.
'Yes, to-night.'
'Do you mean to say that you do not even have a day's rest after being on duty a whole week? What a life! But they must give you a few hours, surely! What time do you go off duty, and at what time do you go to your new patient? I suppose they send for you?'
'Yes, at about eight o'clock. That is the usual time, but I never know long beforehand. Arrangements of that sort are all made by the Mother Superior.'
It did not seem unnatural that he should ask questions about her occupation, now that he was calmer, nor could she think it wrong to answer them. Any one might have listened to what they were saying.
'I daresay you do not even know where you are going this evening?'
Giovanni said.
She thought that he was talking only to keep her with him a little longer. Overstrained as she had been, it was a relief to exchange a few words quietly before parting from him.
'It is true,' she answered, after a moment's thought. 'I daresay the Mother Superior mentioned the name of the family, but if she did I have forgotten it. I shall get my instructions before I leave the house, as usual. I only know that it is a new case.'
'Yes,' Giovanni said, as if it did not interest him further. 'All the same, it is a shame that you should be made to work so hard! Before I go, tell me that you have forgiven me for losing my head just now. I think you have, but I want to hear you say so. Will you?'
It seemed little enough to forgive. Sister Giovanna felt so much relieved by his change of manner that she was even able to smile faintly. If he would always be as gentle, she could perhaps ask leave to see him again in six months. Now that the storm was over, it was a pure and innocent happiness to be with him.