News Writing Part 7

After killing Mrs. Benton, Wallace, and the Weston boy, Carlton set fire to the Lewis "love bungalow." The wounded were unable to care for themselves. They narrowly escaped death in the burning building. Arrival of rescuing parties attracted by the fire alone saved their lives. A hatchet was the weapon used by Carlton. The slayer escaped after the wholesale murder. He is thought to be headed for Chicago. A posse under command of Sheriff Bauer of Spring Green is hunting the man. The story of the terrible tragedy enacted in the Lewis "love bungalow," where for some years the celebrated sculptor and the former Mrs. Cross had been living in open defiance of the conventionalities, was a gruesome one as it came to light to-day. Carlton is twenty-eight years old. He is married. His wife lived with him at the Lewis home. He had been employed by Lewis for six months. He was formerly employed by John Z. Hobart, proprietor of Hobart's restaurant. He is five feet eight inches tall, of medium build and light in color. What caused the trouble or the fury of Carlton is not known. Who first fell is not known. What is known of the tragedy is this: Shortly after noon to-day villagers in the little village of Spring Valley, where the Lewis bungalow is and always has been something of a mystery as well as a wonder to the residents, saw smoke coming from the "love bungalow" on the hills. Villagers ran to the place. The fire department responded to the alarm. The bungalow was rapidly being consumed. Some one entered the house. It was a shambles. Mrs. Benton was found dead. Wallace was dead. Both had been literally chopped to pieces by the infuriated negro. The bungalow was barricaded before entrance was forced. After the dead had been discovered the wounded were found. They were dragged out. The conscious told disjointed stories of the tragedy and of the awful fury that seemed to possess Carlton, the cook. The latter was not to be found. He was at first thought to have taken to the hills. Later it was thought he might be hiding in the underground root cellar but no search lights were available. Men with guns surrounded the house. The negro will be lynched if he is found, it was thought this afternoon.[17]

[17] _Chicago American._

=134. Bing-Bing-Bing Style.=--On the whole, this bing-bing-bing style of writing cannot be commended. Its value in rapid narrative, where excitement prevails and the reader's emotions are greatly aroused, is evident. But the style, indulged in too freely, produces a fitful, choppy effect that is not good. The sentences should be longer and more varied in construction. Examination of the preceding ill.u.s.tration shows that it has only three words or phrases used for subconnection, and only four complex sentences.

=135. Emphasis.=--Next to clearness in holding the interest of the reader comes emphasis, which may be had by avoidance of vague literary phrasing, by a due regard for tone in the story, and by condensation of expression. The first two overlap, since the whole tone of a story may easily be destroyed by an affectation of literary phraseology. These two, therefore, may be considered together.

=136. Vague Literary Phrasing.=--Many cub reporters feel, when they begin to write, that they must express themselves in a literary style, and to gain that style they affect sonorous, grandiloquent phrases that sound well but mean little. In nine cases out of ten these phrases are the inventions of others and meant much as used in their original connection. But as adopted now by a novice, they are vague, only hazily expressive, lacking in that sharp precision necessary for forceful presentation of news.

=137. Tone.=--It is this vagueness of expression that as often as not destroys the tone of the story. One may be aiming at portraying the dignity and simplicity of a wedding or the unmarred happiness of the occasion, but if one attempts to equal the joy of the event with the bigness of his words, one will produce upon the reader an effect of revulsion rather than interest. An ignorant, but well-meaning, reporter on an Eastern weekly concluded a wedding story with the following sentences:

After the union of Miss Petty and Mr. Meydam in the holy bonds of wedlock, the beautiful bride and handsome groom and all the knights and ladies present repaired to the dining-room, where a bounteous supper interspersed with mirth and song awaited them. After which they tripped the light fantastic toe until the wee small hours of the morning, when all repaired to their beds of rest and wrapt themselves in the arms of Morpheus.

This selection happens to be a conglomeration mainly of worn-out expressions current in literature for the past two or three centuries.

But any use of phrases too large or too emotional for the thought to be conveyed will result in an equally dismal failure. All the words, phrases, and ideas in the following are the writer's own, but the effect is practically the same as in the preceding story:

The scene and the occasion were both inspiring. The music was furnished by the birds, which were at their best on this bridal day. A meadowlark called to his mate across the lake, asking if he might come and join her. A brown thrush in a tree on the hill near by sent forth across the water a carol full of love and melody such as a Beethoven or a Chopin would strive in vain to imitate. The hills were dressed in their prettiest robes of green. The water was quiet. Nature was at her best. And the bride and groom, both in tastiness of dress and in spirits, were in harmony with nature.

The writer, too, in striving after a definite tone must be equally apprehensive of unintended suggestions caused by an unfortunate closeness of unrelated ideas. This fault was ill.u.s.trated in a story by an Iowa reporter who wrote that "Lon Stegle took Mrs. Humphrey and a load of hogs to Santo Monday," and of an unwitting Pennsylvania humorist who said, "Audry Richardson, while visiting his sweetheart in Freedonia last Sunday sprained his arm severely and won't be able to use it for ten days or two weeks." If the tone of the story is meant to be dignified, unintended humor may make the presentation absurd.

=138. Varied Sentence Length.=--The story tone is greatly affected also by the length of the sentences. If one's sentences are unnecessarily long, the effect will be heavy and tiresome. If they are markedly short, the result will be a monotonous, choppy, jolting effect, like a flat wheel on a street-car. The bing-bing-bing style just discussed is an ill.u.s.tration of the latter. The writer should aim at a happy medium, with simple constructions and a tendency toward shorter sentences than in other kinds of writing. Twenty words make a good average sentence length. It is necessary to remember that one's stories are read not only by the literati, but by the uneducated as well. One must make one's style, therefore, so fluent, so easy, that a man with a speaking vocabulary of five hundred words can read and enjoy all one writes.

=139. Condensation.=--The value of condensation of expression need not be discussed at length here as it is taken up fully in the next chapter.

Suffice it to say now, however, that a diffuse style is never forceful.

The reporter must condense his ideas into the smallest s.p.a.ce possible.

Often that s.p.a.ce is designated by the city editor when the reporter, on his return to the office, asks for instructions, and nearly always it is only about half enough. But he must follow directions to the letter. Woe to the novice who presents a thousand words, or even six hundred, when the city editor calls for five hundred. Sometimes, however, he will find that the city editor has allotted him more s.p.a.ce than he can easily fill. In such a case, let him give length by introducing additional details. Mere words will not suffice. They do not make a story.

=140. Final Test of a Story.=--The two cares for the reporter, then, in writing the body of the story are accuracy and interest. Accuracy is worth most, and is attained by strict adherence to truth, with plenty of proof for the truth in case it is questioned after publication. Interest may be had by making all statements clear, coherent, forceful. But there is no precise form or method by which accuracy and interest may be obtained. The reporter is given unlimited range in selecting, organizing, and writing his news. He may follow or disregard at will the standard types of other newspaper men's stories, which should be taken as models only, never as laws. For the final test of the goodness of a story is its effect upon the reader. If it attains the desired result without conforming to the patterns given by other writers, it will become a new pattern for itself and for similar stories. Get accuracy and interest, then, no matter what the method.

XI. THE PARAGRAPH

=141. Paragraph a Mark of Punctuation.=--Discussion of the paragraph really belongs under the head of punctuation, since its purpose is to set off the larger divisions of the story in the same way that the period and the comma mark sentences and phrases. The indention of the first line catches the eye of the reader and notifies him silently to stop for a summary of his impressions before starting a somewhat different phase of the story. Its purpose, like that of the other marks of punctuation, is clearness and emphasis. Yet since its very lax laws are much the same as those of the story, it must be noticed independently.

=142. Clearness.=--The first requirement of the paragraph is that it shall be clear. Its relation to the paragraphs preceding and following must be evident at a glance. If transitional phrases and sentences or relation words are necessary for making the relation clear, use them; but as a rule, as stated concerning the story as a whole, reliance for clearness in and between paragraphs is placed mainly on the natural and close sequence of ideas.

=143. Emphasis.=--Next to clearness, the important thing to strive for in the news paragraph is emphasis. Proper emphasis is not a virtue; it is a necessity, because the eye of the rapid reader, as he glances down the columns of the paper, catches only the first words and phrases at each paragraph indention. And according as those words and phrases interest him, so will he take sufficient interest in the paragraph as a whole to read it. For this reason the beginning of each paragraph especially should be emphasized by placing there the most important details. The reporter should guard against putting even dependent clauses and phrases used for subconnection at the beginning of a paragraph, but should envelop them, rather, within the sentence. He should not begin successive paragraphs with the same words or phrases or with the same construction. It is remarkable how unfavorably such small details influence readers. All this does not mean that the paragraph should end lamely. It cannot conclude with the emphasis of the beginning, it is true, but it may be well rounded at the end and its lack of emphasis in details may be compensated with vigor and deftness of expression.

=144. Paragraph Length.=--The length of one's paragraphs should also be a matter of due consideration. They must be not only brief, but brief looking. The modern reader will not brook long ones. Single-sentence paragraphs are frequent, particularly in the lead. Two- or three-sentence paragraphs are common. Half-column paragraphs are unendurable. The average newspaper column permits lines of about seven words each, so that twenty lines, or 140 words, should be the limit of a paragraph. Eight or ten lines is a good average length. Because of this necessary brevity, the newspaper paragraph allows no topics and subtopics within its limited s.p.a.ce, but throws every subtopic into an individual paragraph. This the reporter may follow as a safe rule in paragraphing: whenever in doubt about the advisability of a new paragraph, make one.

XII. THE SENTENCE[18]

[18] Teachers having cla.s.ses sufficiently advanced may find it advisable to pa.s.s hastily over this chapter, or may omit it entirely.

=145. Requisites.=--The same laws of accuracy and interest hold for the sentence as for the story as a whole. But in the sentence they are more rigid,--due in the main to the fact that the sentence is briefer and more readily a.n.a.lyzable. And while one sympathizes with the overworked reporter who served notice upon critical college professors that "when the hands of the clock are near on to press time, and I have a million things to write in a few minutes, I don't give a whoop if I do end a few sentences with prepositions," and concluded by saying, "If I had as much time as the average college professor has, I probably could write good grammar, too";--while one sympathizes with the time-driven newspaper man who never has sufficient leisure to polish a story as he would like, the fact still remains that the reader cannot tell from looking at a story, nor should he be allowed to tell, how much rushed the reporter was. The only thing the reader is interested in is the story, whether it is good or not; and if he does not regard it as worth while, if the sentences are faulty, ungrammatical, weak, he will read another story or another paper.

=146. Grammar.=--The first point to regard in seeking accuracy in the sentence is good grammar. This may seem a trivial injunction to offer a coming star reporter on a great metropolitan daily; but the city editor's a.s.sistants have to correct more grammatical errors in cub copy than any other kind of mistake except spelling and punctuation. The main violations of grammar may be cla.s.sified conveniently under four heads: faulty reference, incorrect verb forms, failures in coordinating and subordinating different parts of a sentence, and poor ellipsis.

=147. p.r.o.nouns Referring to Ideas.=--Probably the most prolific cause of bad grammar and of obscurity of meaning in news writing may be found in the use of unclear p.r.o.nouns. One or more instances may be found in almost every paper a reader examines. A reporter should a.s.sure himself that every p.r.o.noun he uses refers to a particular word in the sentence and that it agrees with that word in gender and number. The use of a p.r.o.noun to refer to a general idea not expressed in a particular word is one of the commonest causes of ambiguity and obscurity in newspaper work. In the following sentence note what a ludicrous turn is given the sentence by the use of _which_ referring to an idea:

A card from C. A. Laird, son of Harry Laird, informs the _Democrat_ that his father is slightly improved and that they now have hopes of his recovery, although he suffers much pain from his fractured jaw, which will be good news to his many Lock Haven friends.

=148. Agreement of p.r.o.nouns in Number.=--A second prime cause of incorrect reference is found in a writer's failure to make a reference word agree in number with the noun to which it refers. Such faulty reference occurs most frequently after collective nouns, such as _mob_, _crowd_, _council_, _jury_, _a.s.sembly_; after distributive p.r.o.nouns, such as _everyone_, _anybody_, _n.o.body_; and after two or more singular and plural nouns, where the reporter forgets momentarily to which he is referring. In the following sentences note that each of the italicized p.r.o.nouns violates one or more of these principles, thereby polluting the clearness of the meaning:

The mob was already surrounding the attorney's home, but _they_ moved so slowly that we got in ahead.

We have heard more than one express _themselves_ that next year Merrillan should have the biggest celebration of the century.

Everyone who had any interest in the boat was inquiring about _their_ friends and relatives.

A peculiar thing about each one was that _they_ chose a husband with a given name that rhymed much the same with _their_ own. Mrs. Baker was Josephine Ramp and secured Joe as her husband; Arnie Hallauer and Annie Ramp, Gust Lumblad and Gusta Ramp, and Eugene Carver and Ella Ramp. The _latter_ is a widow. The given name of each one commences with the same letter in each instance.

=149. Ambiguous Antecedents.=--Then there is a use of the p.r.o.noun with an unclear antecedent buried somewhere in the sentence, so that the p.r.o.noun seems to refer to an intervening word. Such a misuse really is a matter of clearness rather than of grammar, and should come under the next section of this chapter, but it will be discussed here for the sake of including all misuses of the p.r.o.noun at once. The ambiguous use of p.r.o.nouns is the most common error of faulty reference. The following are typical ill.u.s.trations:

The Rev. Mr. Tomlinson states that he wants a steady, religious young man to look after his garden and care for his cow who has a good voice and is accustomed to singing in the choir.

Atkinson telephoned that he was at Zeibski's corners in his machine and had his wife with him. She had died on him and he wanted the garage company to come out and pull her in.

=150. Split Infinitive.=--Next to faulty reference in frequency comes the use of incorrect verb forms. Of these probably the most common error among cub reporters is the employment of the split infinitive,--_to quickly run_ instead of _to run quickly_. The split infinitive is not necessarily an error. There are times when one's precise meaning can be expressed only by the use of an adverb between _to_ and its infinitive.

But as a rule one should avoid the construction. Certainly there was no excuse for the following in a Chicago paper:

President Yuan s.h.i.+ Kai declared he was willing to permit Professor Frank Johnson Goodnow of Brooklyn, legal adviser to the Chinese government, to in August accept the presidency of Johns Hopkins University.

=151. Infinitive and Participle with Verbs.=--The use of the infinitive and the participle with the past tense of verbs is also a cause of frequent error. Our English rule regarding these parts of the verb is mainly a matter of usage, accuracy in which may be attained only by habits of correct speech. But if the reporter will bear in mind that the infinitive and the participle have no finite tense of their own, that they always express time relative to the time of the main verb, he will have taken a real precaution toward preventing confusion. For example, the newspaper man who wrote,

Detective McGuire had intended to have arrested him when he began blowing the safe,

did not say what he meant, because the past infinitive here makes the writer say that Detective McGuire had intended to have the yeggman already under arrest when he began blowing the safe. What the writer meant to say was:

Detective McGuire had intended to arrest him when he began blowing the safe.

Likewise the reporter was inaccurate who wrote:

Going into the bas.e.m.e.nt, they found the cocaine stored beneath a heap of rags.

He was not accurate, unless he meant that they found the cocaine while on the way to the bas.e.m.e.nt. The cause of his inaccuracy lies in the fact that the time expressed by the participle _going_ varies from that of the main verb. What he should have said was,

Having gone into the bas.e.m.e.nt, ...

or better,

After going into the bas.e.m.e.nt, they found the cocaine stored beneath a heap of rags.

=152. Dangling Participles.=--Another detail for careful attention in the use of the participle is the necessity of having a definite noun or p.r.o.noun in the sentence for the participle to modify. It is wrong to write,

Having arrived at the county jail, the door was forced open,

because the sentence seems to say that the door did the arriving. The sentence should be written,