Mr Punch's Model Music Hall Songs and Dramas - LightNovelsOnl.com
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_Tommy._ No, _that_ I'm not, so _there_ now!
_Jane._ But you _are_!
_Tommy._ And so are _you_!
[_Melancholy music; to which_ TOMMY _and_ _Jane_, _after a few convulsive movements, gradually become inanimate. Enter old_ Farmer COPEER _from gate, carrying a large bottle labelled "Cattle Medicine."_
_Farmer C._ It's time I gave the old bay mare her drench.
[_Stumbles over the children._
What's here? A lifeless lad!--and little wench!
Been eating berries--where did they get _them_ idees?
For cows, when took so, I've the reg'lar remedies.
I'll try 'em here--and if their state the worse is, Why, they shall have them b.a.l.l.s I give my 'erses!
[_Carries the bodies off just before the_ W. U. _re-enters_.
_W. U._ The children--gone? yon bush of berries less full!
Hooray, my little stratagem's successful!
[_Dances a triumphant pas seul. Re-enter Farmer C._
_Farmer C._ Been looking for your little niece and nephew?
_The W. U._ Yes, searching for them everywhere--
_Farmer C._ (_ironically_). Oh, _hev'_ you?
Then let me tell you, from all pain they're free, Sir.
_The W. U._ (_falling on his knees_). _I_ didn't poison them--it wasn't _me_, Sir!
_Farmer C._ I thought as much--a constable I'll run for.
[_Exit._
_The W. U._ My wretched nerves again! _This_ time I'm done for!
Well, though I'm trapped, and useless all disguise is, My case shall ne'er come on at the a.s.sizes!
[_Rushes desperately to tree and crams himself with the remaining berries, which produce an almost instantaneous effect. Re-enter_ TOM _and_ JANE _from gate, looking pale and limp. Terror of the_ Wicked Uncle _as he turns and recognises them_.
_The W. U._ (_with tremulous politeness_). The shades of Jane and Tommy, I presume?
[_Re-enter Farmer C._
_Jane and Tommy_ (_pointing to Farmer C._) His Cattle Mixtures s.n.a.t.c.hed us from the tomb!
_The W. U._ (_with a flicker of hope_). Why, then the self-same drugs will ease _my_ torments!
_Farmer C._ (_chuckling_). Too late! they've drunk the lot, the little vormints!
_The W. U._ (_bitterly_). So out of life I must inglorious wriggle, Pursued by Tommy's grin, and Jenny's giggle!
[_Dies in great agony, while_ TOMMY, JANE, _and_ Farmer COPEER _look on with mixed emotions as the Curtain falls_.
XI.--THE RIVAL DOLLS.
"Miss Jenny and Polly had each a new dolly."--_Vide Poem._
CHARACTERS.
_Miss Jenny_ } By the Sisters LEAMAR.
_Miss Polly_ }
_The Soldier Doll_ } By the Two ARMSTRONGS.
_The Sailor Doll_ }
SCENE--_A Nursery. Enter_ Miss JENNY _and_ Miss POLLY, _who perform a blameless step-dance with an improving chorus_.
Oh, isn't it jolly! we've each a new dolly, And one is a Soldier, the other's a Tar; We're fully contented with what's been presented, Such good little children we both of us are!
[_They dance up to a cupboard, from which they bring out two large Dolls, which they place on chairs._
_Miss J._ _Don't_ they look nice! Come, Polly, let us strive To make ourselves believe that they're alive!
_Miss P._ (_addressing_ Sailor D.). I'm glad you're mine. I dote on all that's nautical.
_The Sailor D._ (_opening his eyes suddenly_). Excuse me, Miss, your sister's more _my_ sort o' gal.
[_Kisses his hand to_ Miss J., _who shrinks back, shocked and alarmed_.
_Miss J._ Oh, Polly, _did_ you hear? I feel so shy!
_The Sailor D._ (_with mild self-a.s.sertion_). _I_ can say "Pa" and "Ma"--and wink my eye.
[_Does so at_ Miss P., _who runs in terror to_ Miss J.'s _side_.
_Miss J._ Why, both are showing signs of animation.
_Miss P._ Who'd think we had such strong imagination!
_The Soldier Doll_ (_aside to the Sailor D._). I say, old fellow, we have caught their fancy-- In each of us they now a real man see!
Let's keep it up!
