Internet Dates From Hell Part 7

Recognizing the large number of responses, I slowly scrolled through them. One in particular caught my eye. It was from a gentleman named Tom from New Jersey. "Hmm, New Jersey," I thought to myself."That settles my first concern." After this, I looked at Tom's age. This guy was two years my senior. I read on, discovering that he was previously involved in a few long-term relations.h.i.+ps, so the prior relations.h.i.+ps concern was also satisfied. After divulging his nonmarital status, I felt most comfortable. While reading farther, I determined that Tom's response was creatively personal, like no other that I had ever received before.

Subj: WOW-What a Profile Date: 11/02/2003 10:00:40 PM Eastern Daylight Time From: uofatom88 To: NordicAngel Hi, Your username and photo caught my eye. You mention in your profile that your legs are your best feature, but I couldn't get a clear view in the photos, so I wanted to tell you that you have a beautiful face with incredible blue eyes.

I read your profile... WOW, you sound like an absolutely amazing woman with an incredible appet.i.te for travel and culture. There isn't anything on the list that I wouldn't enjoy doing myself. Being born in Germany and moving 10 times during the first 11 years of my life, traveling was ingrained in my brain. I lived in Germany in the early 90's and began traveling extensively through Europe. Now I make a trip every summer exploring a new corner of the continent. I've been to some of the places on your list including Zermatt, Venice, Pisa (one of your photos), and Tuscany.

In fact this past summer, I rented a convertible and toured the wine country of Umbria and Tuscany for a week and then went to the Island of Sardinia for a week long biking trip with some close friends and family.

I am extremely family oriented and have a great relations.h.i.+p with my immediate family and all of my relatives. I see my father, who lives 10 minutes away, at least once a week. Even though my sister and her husband live in Boulder, CO, I still get out there twice a year. In fact I'll be there over Thanksgiving.

What type of photography do you do? I always wanted to get into some serious photography after taking a cla.s.s in college, but never took the time. Now I just use my digital camera with reckless abandon. I think I have a pretty good eye for composition, due to my architectural background. I earned a Bachelors in Architecture from the University of Arizona.

What's the significance of your username? Are you or your relatives from Scandinavia? I would love to hear back from you.

Tom Referring to several exotic locales that I had listed in my ad, I sensed a connection. That took care of my fifth request. He obviously enjoyed culture. Expressing his fondness for his family, I sensed his paternal instinct loud and clear. Tom even stated that he was a man not afraid to get married. That about wrapped it up! Now for the icing on the cake, I thought to myself as I downloaded his photo attachments. I realized after viewing half of the available shots, that half was enough. Although on the thin side, he was not only trim, but also fit. His attractiveness enthralled me. He was dressed comfortably and casually. What got me was that he was smiling in all the photos, and not posing awkwardly or rigidly like most men did in their online photos. That did it! That satisfied number three. No more flashy or pretentious men! The more time I spent looking at his photos and rereading his email, I came to the realization that he was different, in a good way.

I noticed that Tom had sent the e-mail days before. Since I was away for the weekend and did not have Internet access, I hadn't responded earlier. I made haste in answering his e-mail. I wasted no time in giving him both my home and cell phone numbers. Even though giving out my phone number was always a nono, I made an exception this time. All I could think of was reeling in this keeper.

With a combination of fatigue and newfound hope, I focused on getting a good night's rest and antic.i.p.ating the work week along with his call. In an effort to defray any unnecessary late chitchat with my friend Charlene, I shut my cell phone off and put my home phone on answering machine mode (after one ring).

As fate would have it, I slept like a log. Eight hours went by like eight minutes. I can't remember the last time I slept that soundly! Normally I am up at least one or two times for a variety of reasons. Since the sun hadn't come up yet (because November in New York is the second darkest month of the year due to daylight savings time), I triple-checked my clock radio to make sure it was 5:30 AM. Then I hit the floor running. Before I knew it, I was in my car heading toward the Midtown tunnel, humming an old Police song, "Message in a Bottle." Over and over again I sang the words, "Sending out an SOS." By the third time, my cell phone rang. Since I was already halfway through the tunnel, the cell screen displayed "No Service." "d.a.m.n," I thought to myself."Who the h.e.l.l could that be at this early hour in the morning?" There's only one thing worse than a late night phone call, and it's the evil twin-the early morning one. They both spell trouble. By the time I emerged on the Long Island City side of the tunnel, I calmed myself and became more focused with the day ahead. No one in his right mind would call me at this time of the day, or would he?

I nervously attached my hands-free phone earplugs in the event that the caller would try again. Before Sting could get the second chorus of "Roxanne" out, the phone rang. "It's him," I thought despairingly. But it wasn't. It was just my friend Charlene, also a fellow teacher, calling to inform me that she had just called in sick and was wondering if I could help the sub find her emergency plans.

"No problem," I answered. "Do you have bus duty today? In that case, I'll call you at 3:30. Feel better," I added.

"Phew," I thought to myself. "Thank G.o.d, it wasn't Tom. I don't know what I would have done if it were."

The day went by without a hitch. Charlene's succinct plans were in the top drawer of her desk, where she feared they weren't. The sub needed no a.s.sistance. Just as well, I thought to myself. Looking at Charlene's replacement, I thought, where on earth did they dig up this old fossil? She had to be at least eighty-two years old! Just like the night's sleep, the day went smoothly. I was in the car headed home when I turned on my cell phone. I noticed that I had two messages! Impulsively listening, at first I couldn't identify the voice, but then he said his name was Tom. He asked me to call him back on his cell or his work number. I decided to wait until I got home to make the call. To this day I even remember the time I called him-4:45 PM-just catching him before he left work.

The conversation went well and we spoke for over an hour. I know that I recommended keeping the first phone conversation short; however, in this case I made an exception because our conversation felt so natural. I used the opportunity to learn more about Tom. For instance, he lived on his own and was a homeowner. That cleared my concern regarding men still living at home with their parents. I also found out that Tom was born and raised in Hamburg, Germany. His voice was pleasing. I sensed a slight accent. He was certainly scoring points in my book! As we chatted, as crazy as this sounds, I couldn't think of anything other than the possibility of him being my future husband. I know I have said this before, but this time I actually felt it. As we spoke, I looked at his picture, and I could sense an immediate bond. We felt equally comfortable discussing everything from music to family to films, and we planned to meet that coming Tuesday.

Due to some poorly prepared Indian cuisine that I had insisted on having the night before, I awoke to terrible stomach pains. "Great," I thought to myself, "I'm going to have to cancel what might be the most important date in the last six years." I called Tom from work to ask for a rain check. I sensed some disappointment in his voice. To provide some rea.s.surance that I was still interested in meeting, I told him that we could talk on the phone after he left work. With a little help from some antacids, I endured a full day at school. What a difference a day makes. The day before couldn't have run more smoothly, but the following day was miserable. There was nothing worse than little children buzzing around my desk when I had the ever-present fear of diarrhea, and to make matters worse, that year I wasn't a.s.signed a teacher's a.s.sistant to relieve me. Deciding that the trip back to the city would be too precarious, I called my folks and beseeched them to let me stay the night. I promised I would stay far away from them, as long as a toilet was nearby. They agreed, as long as I stayed in the upstairs bedroom.

As luck would have it, Tom showed his true colors by calling three times, each time to see if I was feeling better than the last time. Again, our conversation just flowed naturally. After the battery in my cell phone died, I switched to my parents' home phone. I didn't realize how late it was until my mother picked up the phone to make a call and rudely interrupted me with "Trish, are you still on the phone? Remember, you need to get some sleep to let your body recover." I was quite embarra.s.sed and apologized to Tom. He told me not to worry and that it was sweet that my mom was so concerned. Before we said our good-byes, we agreed to meet for brunch on the coming Sat.u.r.day.

Sat.u.r.day came and he called to inform me that he was in front of my apartment building. I broke out in a cold sweat from nerves as I made my way down in the elevator. I exited my building and caught a glimpse of him standing next to his car with flowers in hand. He was even more handsome than any of the photos that I had seen.

While greeting each other, he handed me the flowers. As he opened the door, I sensed my nervousness increase. I thought to myself, "This man obviously has good manners," while I thanked him and told him that I had to run back up to my apartment to put the flowers in water. I thought, "This could buy me some calm down time."

As I returned to the elevator doing an involuntary odd dance, Ralph smiled at me and said, "Trish, does this one have potential?"

"Like no one else, Ralph," I exclaimed as I pressed the elevator b.u.t.ton to my floor.

"Flowers on the first date! Boy, that guy has some cla.s.s!" Ralph proclaimed.

As the elevator doors were closing behind me, I loudly blurted, "I think we have found the one Ralph!" Once in my apartment, I composed myself, only to realize that I might be going on my very last first date. This is the kind of moment that changes one's life forever I thought. Immediately I felt the onset of an anxiety attack. It didn't make sense to me, for this is what I was looking for. Having it made me panic-stricken. Apparently, I had spent the last six years in an unreal world. This adult dose of reality drove me to fear.

"Are you nervous?" I asked as I entered Tom's car.

"Of course, aren't you?" he said.

"Yes, so am I," I answered.

What was I afraid of? What was he nervous about? What was wrong with us? We both laughed and immediately were at ease. Miraculously, by New York City standards, we managed to find a parking spot right in front of the restaurant. After several lines of meaningless banter and a giggle here or there, we simultaneously caught each other staring. It was at that point we realized we had to step up to the plate. No more batting practice. The game was on!

After we were seated, our conversation flowed so well that we sent the waiter away three times because we were nowhere near ready to order. I guess that semi-serious stare/laughter did the trick. This situation called for concentration. Although we were hungry, food was not the main objective that afternoon. It took us thirty minutes before we ever even opened the menu, and, due to our mutual attraction, to this day neither one of us can remember what we ate.

"I can't remember the last time I was this comfortable with someone on a first date, can you?" Tom asked.

Thinking carefully before I answered and probably taking too much time, Tom grabbed my hand and asked me what was taking so long. It was just the touch of his hand that guaranteed me the sincerity and kindness that I had never experienced before. I finally felt at home, exactly where I was supposed to be. Ironically a tear appeared on my left cheek. I say ironic because it was he that discovered it, not I.

"What's wrong? Am I going too fast? Take as much time as you need," he concluded.

I was lip-locked. I couldn't speak if I had to. A knot appeared in my esophagus and the waterworks began to flow. I looked through my veil of tears just to see a horrified Tom. It looked like he was going to have a stroke.

"Please, Trisha, say something, anything. Tell me to go away or even shut up!"

It was at this moment I began to lose my self-security. I don't remember if I excused myself or not, but I bolted to the ladies' room in record time. Luckily, it was empty. Like a teenager, I locked myself in one of the stalls and had the following argument with myself. I think I said the following: "What the h.e.l.l is the matter with you, Trish? Why are you acting like this? This feeling is exactly what you've wanted to feel all your life. You'll be d.a.m.n lucky if he's still sitting where you left him if you have enough guts to get off this toilet."

It was at that time I heard the door open and saw the appearance of two black sneakers.

"Excuse me, Miss, your date wants to know if you're OK." an apparent waitress inquired.

"Thank you so much," I said while I opened the stall door, "I just got cold feet and I don't know why," I blurted.

"It's OK, happens to best of us."

As she led me out of the bathroom, she reminded me that my mascara was a mess. Boy was she right. Although I was looking at myself in the mirror, Elvira the vampire-like Queen of Halloween, was looking back at me.

"You have some?" she asked as she pointed to her own eye makeup. It was at that point I felt most comfortable, but looked horrible. I demurely nodded to her. She said good luck and asked if there was anything she could do for me. I was so choked with emotion, I could hardly speak; therefore, I merely waved good-bye. Her warm smile and gentle nod a.s.sured me I was in a good place in more ways than one. I rapidly repaired with Revlon and exited the restroom.

As fate would have it, Dean Martin's "Amore" was playing. I began to laugh out loud, causing a couple of waiters and at least one cook to stare. I couldn't help but recall my two older brothers would sing their version of this song, which was vulgar, yet hysterical. I couldn't stop laughing all the way to the table.

The look on Tom's face was one of sheer confusion.

"Are you feeling all right? We can leave," he said.

"No, I just needed a moment. I was overwhelmed with the level of comfort that you offered. I know it sounds like a cliche, but I feel like we were meant to meet. To be honest, I panicked."

It was his turn to grow silent. Suddenly I returned the favor and without hesitation I reached over and grabbed his hand. Seconds later Tom leaned over and kissed my cheek as he whispered in my ear, "Thank G.o.d, you feel the same way as I do."

It was Tom's turn to open the flood gates. He talked incessantly for a least forty minutes-everything from modern architecture, to Munich, Germany, to the New York Mets, to pistachio ice cream and then some. We even compared our misguided dating stories. He confided in me about his last relations.h.i.+p and how it felt empty and that he was looking not for someone he could live with, but for someone he couldn't live without.

Although I normally would have suggested ending the date after a brief encounter, I followed my gut and agreed to prolong our meeting because we had already spent countless hours on the phone, and he seemed to be pa.s.sing every test. All of my fears and concerns were disappearing. Exchanging travel stories, we walked a few blocks and enjoyed the rest of the afternoon strolling through Central Park. He asked if I had ever taken one of the buggy rides at Christmastime. I sensed some permanence here since it was only November and I had to get through Thanksgiving first. I lied and said no and asked had he.

"No, I always wanted to go with someone special, but never felt a strong enough connection with anyone," Tom stated.

"Yes, I agree. These romantic events need to be shared with the right person," I remarked.

"Do you have plans for December?" Tom whispered.

"Yes," I unconsciously created a pregnant pause. After a few seconds I said, "With you, of course."

The sweet smile on his face warmed me as we leisurely finished our walk through Central Park. But as all good things do, this date too had to end. Both of us had already made other commitments for that evening. Tom had to attend a black tie affair with his two bosses and their wives, and I had planned to have dinner with Greg. Tom drove me back to my apartment and walked me to the door. It must have been the first time in a very long time that I felt extreme sadness as we said our good-byes. A nice hug, a kiss on the cheek, and a wave as he got back into his car. My body was overcome with a variety of emotions ranging from extreme happiness to sadness, but mainly happiness. As I pa.s.sed Ralph, on the way to the elevator, he proclaimed, "Must have been a pretty good date considering how long you were out."

"You don't know how good!" I exclaimed.

I decided to let Ralph in on the details at another time. I was too excited about the time I had just spent with Tom and wanted to tell Greg all about it now, rather than waiting until dinner. I spent the next three hours in Greg's apartment recapping everything that took place that afternoon. Greg could barely get a word in the entire time, but he didn't mind, since he hadn't seen me that happy in quite some time.

Ever the gentleman, Tom called the very next day to thank me for a wonderful first date. I kept thinking it was I that had reason to be thankful. Little did he know, at that time, how many dates from h.e.l.l I had been through in the previous six years. After recounting some of the previous day's highlights, he went on to tell me that he had decided to hide his profile, since he didn't want to date anyone else. I was blown away. How could he be so serious so quickly?

I asked him, "Are you sure?"

"I have never been more sure of anything in my life," he responded. "I feel extremely comfortable when I'm with you; it is as if we have known each other for much longer."

"It is as if our souls have been apart and now helped us find each other," I added.

"I guess that is what they mean by soul mates," he finished my thought.

Here I was, more than six years of Internet dating, and I had finally found what I was always looking for. I couldn't believe how lucky Tom was, since I had been his first and only Internet date.

Falling in love over the course of four months, Tom proposed to me at One if by Land, Two if by Sea, a historic carriage house converted to the most romantic restaurant in New York City. The proposal was followed by a horse and buggy ride in Central Park. Only five months later, we were married in St. Patrick's Cathedral and remain happy to this day.

Fairy tales really do come true. The most important lesson that I have learned is not to give up hope. Never give up hope that you will find your partner, bringing your search to an end. Like Emily d.i.c.kinson said, "Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul."

Part III.

Posting a Personal Ad.

Dos and Don'ts.

Every person describes himself or herself as honest, attractive, and kind. Be more descriptive, show a photo, and let the reader be the judge of your attractiveness. If you are more than twenty pounds overweight, then state that. Some people are interested in a plus-size partner. Don't apologize for how you look. "This is who I am," should be your motto. Celebrate yourself as being unique. There is a mate for everyone. Not everyone likes the same things. The media try to dictate what is beautiful. Don't buy into it. Some men love voluptuous women, some love Asian women, and some love redheads. Some women love tall men, and some women prefer nerdy types; no one should dictate to you what is beautiful. You should not be a slave to fas.h.i.+on. You should wear what looks good on you and what celebrates your uniqueness. Strength is s.e.xy, and self-confidence is s.e.xy. If someone doesn't like you for some physical attribute that you have or do not have, then this person is not for you! Why should you compromise "you" for someone else? Believe that all your natural changes show the depth of your wisdom and the profoundness of your knowledge.

If You Are a Woman Seeking a Man.

First, it is a must to post a recent head shot. Have the photo taken with a simple background, minus any distractions such as people or signs. Wear a simple top; black or white is best. Don't do your hair big, don't put on too much makeup, and don't wear anything too s.e.xy unless you want only men who are looking for s.e.x to answer your ad. Smile in your photo and show that you are approachable. If you are slim, include your weight. List what you do for a living. Include interests and pastimes. Most importantly, state what you are looking for in a mate. Post the ad and see who responds. I wouldn't recommend answering any ads if you are looking for a conventional committed relations.h.i.+p. Instead, let the man approach you first and then respond. Look at other women's ads and see how they are written, and then write yours differently. Your ad should be light and breezy, not heavy. The ad should not contain the following words: marriage, ex-boyfriend, ex-husband, or s.e.x. These words are too heavy, and men don't really want to read ads that are emotionally heavy. Below are two sample ads: a do and a don't.

Do-be descriptive, show that you are fun and interesting, be unique like no other. This one is looking for a sophisticated gentleman with cla.s.s and style.

______________________________________.

5'8", fit, athletic, brunette, green-eyed, attorney, 34 years old. I have been described as cute, have a great smile and enjoy laughing. I am pa.s.sionate about skiing in Vermont, sailing, dancing barefoot, world travel, wreck-diving 100 feet below, and exploring NYC. I am seeking a committed relations.h.i.+p with an educated self-sufficient Christian or Catholic 30-40-year-old professional. Photo a must.

Don't-be negative, sound like a gold digger or like you are full of yourself. This ad will only get low cla.s.s or s.e.xually deviant responses.

______________________________________.

5'8", hot brunette, green-eyed attorney, 34 years old. I am gorgeous and have a great body. I like to ski, boat, dance, and take vacations. I am looking for a handsome rich guy to spoil me rotten. No Games Please. Losers need not reply.

After you receive a response from someone you wish to contact, you should not rush to respond immediately. Wait between eight and twelve hours to write back. Don't respond on a Friday or Sat.u.r.day night because it will give the impression that you are lonely or desperate. You want a person to think that you are social and busy and that Internet dating is just a small part of your life. It is much more desirable for someone to think that you are popular and out and about and living your life, rather than being home in your pajamas on a Sat.u.r.day night, waiting with baited breath for a response from your ad. Also, when you respond back, limit your e-mail message to a few lines, such as "Thanks for responding. I too think we may have a lot in common. What's the next step?" The object at that point is to get to know the person via phone and face-to-face, not to begin a pen pal relations.h.i.+p.

Use your ad and e-mail only as a tool toward a more reality-based introduction. Hopefully, he will write back asking for your phone number. Then you can give him your cell number and have him call you and ask you out on a real date. Men do like to pursue and, by calling you, they feel as if they are in charge. If you wish to call him instead, you can request his number and then block the number that you are calling from by pressing *67. When you speak with him, keep it under thirty minutes. You should be able to detect any negativity in that amount of time. If he puts down others or his ex or if he complains about anything, tell him that you have to go and will talk soon. You will not want to meet him if he's still upset or mad over his ex or is a negative or complaining person. If the conversation goes well and the guy asks you out, suggest that you meet for coffee or tea. Coffee is quick and you can get out of the date in less than one hour. Also, make sure that you choose a meeting place that is close to where you live. A thoughtful man will make the first move and come to you. If not, he's used to getting his way and you will not want to meet him anyway. Also, cab fare and gas can get very expensive for one coffee. If he asks you out, he should pay. Make sure that your first date is during the daytime or twilight and in a crowded place. Let a friend know whom you are meeting and give your friend your date's phone number. Let her know that you will call her when you return from the date, as a safety precaution. End the date after one hour, even if it is going well. Even before the date, you can mention that you have plans or something to do later that same day. He can always make a future date with you. If you sense that it is not going well or you don't like him, don't worry-there are plenty of fish in the sea.

If it does work out and your date seems interesting, then by all means, go out with him again. Wait at least three days. Back-to-back dates become boring and he may lose interest if you are too available. Don't e-mail or call him unless you are returning his e-mail or calls. You don't want to seem too desperate. As much as the guy likes the girl, it becomes annoying if she calls too much. He may lose interest quickly. Too many relations.h.i.+ps end because one person smothers the other and leaves nothing to the imagination. You should still live your life, go to the gym, and meet friends for dinner in between dating. There is nothing worse than a guy thinking a woman has no one else but him.

If You Are a Man Seeking a Woman First, you should have a recent photo. Make sure that it is a solo shot of you. Two photos are better than one. You should post one head shot and one body shot. Make sure you are wearing something casual. Jeans and a s.h.i.+rt are fine. Don't use a main photo where you're in a suit or a tux because it will look like you are trying too hard or it will attract gold diggers. Don't use a photo that includes your friends or one taken at a bar. It will look like you are a partier or a player. Don't use a photo with an ex-girlfriend; this will just make you look ridiculous. Don't be s.h.i.+rtless or wear a muscle s.h.i.+rt; it will look like you are a Guido or like you are full of yourself. You should be smiling in at least one of the photos, so that you look approachable. Most women don't respond to ads, since they have a lot of email to deal with. Don't include your salary; it's no one's business, unless you want to meet a shallow materialistic b.i.t.c.h. Write a few things to describe what you like to do, such as hobbies, and what you are looking for. Don't be negative; keep it light. Below are samples of a do and a don't.

Do _______________________________________.

Hi, I'm a 35-year-old single male. I am in finance, 6'3", fit. I don't smoke, hardly drink. I enjoy spending quality time with my family and friends, quaint B&B's, sports, long hikes, and much more. I am seeking someone special, who is sweet, caring, family oriented, 28-35.

Don't _______________________________________.

Single again and looking. I am an average looking guy, 6'3" and 35. I am looking for long sensual kisses and baths. I am not into head games. You must be hot, size 4, age 18 to 25.

If you are looking for a committed relations.h.i.+p leading to potential marriage, only respond to ads of women who you could visualize being the mother of your children. Don't write to bimbos, high-maintenance gold diggers, or men haters. Their ads should stand out. If their ads include any of the following phrases, then skip over them: no players, no games, looking for a generous man, I love fine dining and shopping at Bergdorf's, looking for a hot guy, looking for someone to take care of me, used to the finer things in life, I'm spoiled, I'm open-minded, I'm s.e.xy.

If you do write to ads that mention the phrases above, you'll find it to be a total waste of time. These women are out only for themselves and usually have no capacity to be giving or unconditional in a relations.h.i.+p. You will spend most of your time proving yourself and it will drain your bank account. If women write any of the following, beware because they may be very emotionally needy and more trouble than they are worth: connection, dream man, "in the clouds," intimacy, commitment, ex-boyfriend, ex-husband, "I've been hurt," "emotionally available," "in the stars," searching for the one, I recently broke up a long-term relations.h.i.+p, I believe in love at first sight. In most cases, if a woman brags too much about herself, then she is relying too much on her physical attributes: I am beautiful, I'm gorgeous, I have a great body.

Choose a woman who can define herself as caring, honest, sincere, cultured, well traveled, artistic, creative, thoughtful, and empathetic. A woman who has developed a personality beyond her looks is a much more suitable mate for a relations.h.i.+p, unless, of course, you want a selfish, self-centered b.i.t.c.h. Beware of a woman who is concerned with being up-to-date with the latest styles and obsessed with working out six days a week. You can tell what someone is obsessed with by how much the person talks about the topic. If someone talks about one topic over 20 percent of the time, then that topic is the person's obsession. For example, if the woman talks incessantly about her job, then she is very preoccupied with it. If the woman talks about diets constantly, then she is obsessed with dieting and her self-image.

Helpful Hints There are many ways to improve your personal ad. There is the obvious one of including good photos. The more subtle ones are the way that your ad is written. Simply changing a few words can make a great difference. I have listed some suggestions for elaborating on typical hobbies and interests as well as expanding on typical descriptive words that are commonly used.

Hobbies and Interests Instead of This: Write This: Bike riding Cycling through the Tuscan region Boating Sailing away on a catamaran, island hopping in the Caribbean via sailboat Broadway shows Theatre Candlelight Floating candles Comedy shows Cabaret Dancing Dancing barefoot in the sand to the sounds of the steel pan, dancing to the rhythm of the drums Diving Wreck diving 100 feet below, reef diving surrounded by a school of trumpet fish Eating out Exploring the gastronomy of exotic cuisine Fresh flowers Enjoying the rainbow of hues in tropical flowers, fresh cut sunflowers Golf Chasing a little white ball while enjoying everything nature has to offer Horseback riding Equestrian days through forest trails Jogging Feeling free as I run two miles by the sh.o.r.e Lying on the beach Soaking up rays as I feel the silky sand beneath my toes Movies Films/Foreign Films Outdoor dining Sharing a panini at a sidewalk cafe Photography Creating photographic art Reading Being taken away as I read every page of a New York Times bestseller Skiing Skiing in Vail at twilight, skiing down a black diamond in Vermont Swimming Swimming against the waves in ocean waters Travel Exotic travel to unique locales Walking Walking in fresh fallen snow Working out Feeling the rush after bench-pressing 200 pounds Descriptive Words Instead of This: Write This: Black Noir, midnight Blond Flaxen, golden, honey Blue Sapphire, azure, lapis, cobalt Brown Chestnut, almond Cla.s.sy Sophisticated Down-to-earth Earthy.

Dreamer Wanderl.u.s.t.

Fat, full-figured Large, plus size, Rubenesque Flirtatious Charming Funny Comical Gray Salt and pepper Green Emerald, sea green, turquoise Honest Forthcoming, sincere Housewife Domestic G.o.ddess Interested in ...

Pa.s.sionate about .

Interesting.

Fascinating Kind, likeable.

Endearing Kinky Open-minded, adventurous.

Love of life Joie de vivre Marriage-minded Commitment-minded.

Muscular, built Buff Not living at home Independent Positive thinking Optimistic Pretty, attractive, hot, beautiful Graceful, outstanding Red Auburn, scarlet Rich Self-sufficient, self-made Self-absorbed.