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"Did you have any pale ale?"
"No; we didn't have the pail."
A cement maker advertises that his cement is strong enough to mend the break of day.
Rowley Powley, pudding and pie, Kissed the girls and made them cry.
But _entre nous_, that legend of yore Only tells half; they cried for more!
"Are you the photographer?"
"Yes sir."
"Do you take children's pictures?"
"Yes sir."
"How much do you charge?"
"Three dollars a dozen."
"Well, I have to see you again. I've only got eleven."
THE MAN--Edison's a wonder, isn't he?
THE MAID--I don't think so! You can't turn his incandescent lights down low.
"When were walking-sticks first invented?"
"When?"
"When Eve presented Adam with a little Cain."
"Pat," said one Catholic friend to another, "how would you like to be buried in a Protestant graveyard?"
"Faith an' I'd die first!"
--No matter how high an awning may be suspended, it is only a shade above the street.
An Irishman, just landed, seeing an electric-motor car running for the first time, exclaimed: "Well, well, Ould Nick must be pullin' it wid a string."
DAME RUMOR ought frequently to have her named spelled without the e.
"Where are you working now?"
"I'm working down in a match factory."
"How is business?"
"Light."
An Irish doctor advertises that the deaf may hear of him at a house in Liffey street, where his blind patients may see him from ten till three.
"Where are you going, my pretty maid?"
"Out automobiling, sir," she said.
"May I go with you, my pretty maid?"
"If you can steer the old thing, you may," she said.
