Uncle Sam's Boys as Sergeants Part 16

Even an officer is likely to be ordered about a good deal as though he were a dog. Eh, Sergeant?"

"I have never felt like a dog, sir, since entering the Army."

"Oh, I dare say Wright is quite proper in his order, you know. I'll go up and drop in on him right now."

Both sergeant and sentry saluted again as this very unusual officer turned on the speed and went driving lazily up to headquarters'

building.

Algy Ferrers had his cigarette going by the time that he stepped leisurely into the adjutant's office.

"Some one told me you wanted to see me, Wright," began Algy.

Lieutenant Wright wheeled around briskly upon his subordinate.

"I want to see you, Mr. Ferrers, only to pa.s.s you on to the colonel.

I'll tell him that you're here."

Adjutant Wright stepped into the inner office, nodding his head at the colonel, then wheeled about.

"Colonel North will see you, sir."

Algy took three quick whiffs of his cigarette, then tossed it away. He had already gained an idea that a young officer does not go into his colonel's presence smoking.

"So you're here, sir?" demanded Colonel North, looking up from his desk as Algy came to a halt before him.

"Yes; I'm here, Colonel--or most of me is. My, how seedy I feel this afternoon! Do you know, Colonel, I'm almost persuaded to cut out social----"

"Silence, Mr. Ferrers!" commanded Colonel North very coldly. "Concern yourself only with answering my questions. Yesterday afternoon you were warned that you would be officer of the day to-day."

"Bless me, so I was," a.s.sented Algy mildly.

"Yet this morning you failed to be present at guard-mount."

"Yes, sir. I'll tell you how it happened."

"Be good enough to tell me without delay."

"Colonel, did you ever hear of the Douglas-Fraziers, of Detroit?"

"Answer my question, Mr. Ferrers!"

"Or the Porterby-Masons, of Chicago?" pursued Algy calmly. "Both families are very old friends of our family. They and some others were very much interested in my being a soldier, and----"

"You being a soldier!" exploded the irate colonel under his breath.

"And so they and some others who were on their way to the coast on a special train had their train switched off at Clowdry last night. They expected to get in at eight, but it was eleven when they arrived last night. However, sir, they telephoned right up to me and tipped me off to join them at once at the Clowdry Hotel. So what could I do?"

"Eh?" quivered Colonel North, who seemed momentarily all but bereft of speech.

"What could I do, sir? Of course I couldn't turn down such old friends.

Besides, there were some fine girls with the party. And it was too late, Colonel, to go waking you over the telephone, so I just went down to the quartermaster's stable and got my car out and was mighty soon in Clowdry."

"There might have been nothing very serious in that, Mr. Ferrers, had you returned in time for guard-mount this morning."

"But I simply couldn't. Don't you understand?" pleaded Algy with good-natured patience.

"No, sir! I don't understand!" thundered Colonel North. "All I understand, sir, is that you have disgraced yourself and your regiment by failing to report as the officer of the day."

"Let me explain, sir," went on Algy, with a slight wave of his hand.

"When I got to the hotel the Douglas-Fraziers had ordered dinner. They were starved. I had a pretty good appet.i.te myself. Dinner lasted until half past one. Then we had a jolly time, some of the girls singing in the hotel parlor. After they'd turned in, between three and four in the morning, the men insisted on hearing how well I was coming along in the Army."

"They did?" inquired the colonel, with an irony that was wholly thrown away on Algy.

"Yes, sir. And then we sat down to play cards. First thing we knew it was ten in the morning. Then we had breakfast, and the ladies got downstairs before the meal was over. The Douglas-Frazier train couldn't pull out until three thirty this afternoon. So, after they'd gone to so much trouble to see me, and had put up such a ripping time for me, of course I had to stay in town to see them off."

"Naturally," a.s.sented Colonel North with fine sarcasm.

"I am glad you understand it, Colonel, and so there's not a bit of harm done, after all. I'm an ignoramus about guard duty, anyway, and I'll wager the guard got on better without me, after all. And now, Colonel, since I've given you a wholly satisfactory explanation as to why I simply couldn't be here to-day, if you've nothing more to say to me, sir, I'll go to my quarters, get into my bath and then tumble into bed, for I'm just about dead for slee----"

Colonel North rose fiercely, looking as though he were threatened with an attack of apoplexy.

"Stop all your idiotic chatter, Mr. Ferrers, and listen to me with whatever little power of concentration you may possess. Your conduct, sir, has been wholly unfitting an officer and a gentleman. If I did my full duty I'd order you in arrest at once, and have you brought to trial before a general court-martial. You have visited upon yourself a disgrace that you can't wipe out in a year. You have--but what's the use? You wouldn't understand!"

"I'm a little dull just now, sir," agreed Algy. "But after a bath and a long night's sleep I'll be as fresh as ever."

"You'll have neither bath nor sleep!" retorted the colonel testily.

"You'll go to your quarters and get into your uniform without a moment's delay. You'll be back here in fifteen minutes, or I'll order you in arrest. And you'll finish out your tour of guard duty. You'll be on duty and awake, sir, until the old guard goes off to-morrow morning. More, you'll remain all that time at the guard house, so that the sergeant of the guard can be sure that you are awake."

"Good heavens!" murmured Algy.

"Further, Mr. Ferrers, until further orders, you will not step off the limits of the post without express permission from either myself or Major Silsbee. Now, go to your quarters, sir--and don't dare to be gone more than fifteen minutes."

Lieutenant Prescott, hearing some one move in Mr. Ferrers' rooms, looked in inquiringly.

"Oh, but I'm in an awful hurry. I've got to get back to that beastly colonel," explained Algy.

"Beastly? Colonel North is a fine old brick!" retorted Prescott indignantly.

"Well, he has an--er--most peculiar temper at times," insisted Algy.

"Why, he seemed positively annoyed because I had obeyed the social instinct and had gone away to meet old friends of our family."

"Have you any idea what you did to-day?" demanded Lieutenant Prescott.

"Ferrers, you've been guilty of conduct that is sufficient to get an officer kicked out of the service for good and all."

"And just between ourselves," sputtered Algy, "I don't believe the officer would lose much by the operation. Have you any idea of the social importance of the Douglas-Fraziers and of the----"

"Oh, hang the Douglas-Fraziers and all their works," uttered Prescott disgustedly. "Algy, are you ever going to become a soldier?"

"You're as bad as the colonel!" muttered Ferrers. "What the Army needs is a little more exact understanding of social life and its obligations."