Wilson's Tales of the Borders and of Scotland Volume XIII Part 22

"A strange sail right ahead, sir."

"Very well, my boy. Can you make out what she is?"

"She looks small, sir--not bigger than a boat."

The officer made his report to the captain, who kindly entered into the spirit of the thing, to gratify the men, and desired to be informed when the boat was near the s.h.i.+p.

"We are nearing the boat fast, sir." And the captain made his appearance on deck, to reconnoitre the approaching stranger.

"s.h.i.+p ahoy!" roared a voice ahead; "lay your maintopsail to the mast, and give us a rope for the boat."

"Forecastle there!--a rope for the boat! Let go the maintop bowline!

Square away the mainyard, after-guard!" bawled the officer of the deck.

In the meantime, the unfortunates who had never crossed the line were driven below; the "gratings" were laid on fore and aft, and sentries were stationed at the hatchways to prevent escape.

A bugle-note was now heard murdering the "Conquering Hero," who soon made his appearance in person, over the bows, and stood for a moment in a _graceful_ att.i.tude on the night-head, where he really cut quite an imposing figure, with his robe of sheep-skins and flowing beard of "oak.u.m," and grasping in his extended hand a trident, with a fine fish on its p.r.o.ngs. A few minutes after he had descended into the "waist,"

the screen we before mentioned was withdrawn, and the procession moved on. First came the s.h.i.+p's musicians, fantastically dressed for the occasion, and playing "Rule Britannia" with all their might and main; next came the triumphal car, surmounted by a canopy decorated with flags of all nations, under which were seated Neptune, Amphitrite, or Mrs Nep, as Jack calls her, and a little triton; and immediately in the rear followed the _suite_, consisting of the barber, doctor, clerk, and about a dozen half-naked and particoloured demiG.o.ds, who acted as water-bailiffs. Each of these gentlemen merits a particular description; for they were all great men, in their way. The doctor wore an immense _floured_ wig, and an uncommonly long, unwholesome-looking nose, and over all a rusty piece of tarpaulin, pinched into three corners, to represent a hat; under his arm he carried his family medicine-chest, the lid of which was open, and displayed to view pills and powders of all shapes, sizes, and colours, in great profusion; and in his hand he carried a large bottle, labelled, "Neptune's elixir." The barber carried, slung over his arm, his shaving-box (a large tar bucket), with brushes to correspond; the pouch in the front of his ap.r.o.n was filled with little etceteras, such as boxes of _grease_ for the hair, _powder_ for the teeth, &c.; and in his hand he brandished three razors, each about three feet long--one made of smooth iron hoop, the next about as genteel as a hand-saw, and the third, meant for particular favourites, with teeth grinning at each other, half-an inch apart, more or less. The clerk, or scribe, was a dandy of the first water: he had on a small raree hat, which looked as if it had been forced up on one side by an immense crop of oak.u.m curls, which sprouted most luxuriantly from under one of the rims. His whiskers were pointed to the wind with the greatest nicety; and from behind his ear peeped the quill, his badge of office; while a little inkstand dangled at his b.u.t.ton-hole. The tips of his nose and ears were almost hidden by a most magnificently stiff collar, and his chin nestled in a bed of frill, made to match the collar of the best _foolscap_. All these _gentlemen_ wore _long togs_.[6]

[Footnote 6: Coats]

On came the pageant: Neptune's sheep-skins and trident looked very majestic; Amphitrite, a tall, high-cheek-boned Scotch "topman," with the a.s.sistance of a little red paint and oak.u.m locks, and arrayed _cap-a-pie_ in cabin finery, made a very pa.s.sable representation of a she-monster; the barber brandished his razors; the scribe paraded his list, and, every now and then, made use of an old frying-pan, with the bottom knocked out of it, for a quizzing-gla.s.s; the jack-_tars_ who acted as sea-horses pranced as uncouthly as jack-_a.s.ses_; and the coachman, seated on the fore-part of the car, and proud of his livery and shoulder-knots, cracked his whip, d----d his horses for _lubbers_, and _singing out_ to them, "Hard a-port!" contrived to _weather_ the after hatchway, and then _bear up_ round the "capstan," where, with a graceful pull-up of the reins, very much like a strong pull at the mainbrace, and an "Avast there!" to his obedient cattle, he stopped the car. The captain was standing under the p.o.o.p-awning, in readiness to receive his majesty, who welcomed him most graciously to his dominions.

"Glad to see you once more, Captain Oak.u.m," said he; "it warms the c.o.c.kles of my heart to fall in with an old friend; and my wife here and I both wants comfort of some kind, after our long morning ride over the water; the cold air is apt to give one a cold in the stomach." The doctor immediately stepped forward with his bottle, and presented it to his majesty. "No, no," said he; "none of your doctor's stuff for _me_; keep that for my children; Captain Oak.u.m knows my complaint of old."

The captain laughed, and his steward, taking the hint, produced a bottle containing a different kind of _elixir_, which old Neptune seemed to quaff with peculiar relish. A gla.s.s was then offered to Amphitrite, who pretended to reject it, and tried to blush--in vain.

"Come, come! none of that 'ere humbug, old gal," said the king; "tip it over; it'll do you good." And away it went, where many of its fellows had gone before.

"Ah!" said she, smacking her lips with unqueenlike gusto, "glorious stuff to drive out a cold!"

The whole of the suite were immediately seized with the same complaint, and all required the application of the same remedy.

"I understand, Captain Oak.u.m, you have a good many of my children on board."

"Yes, a few. I hope you will treat them kindly."

"Oh, leave that to me, sir; I'll give none of them more nor they desarves."

He then thrust out his trident to the captain's steward, with a graceful air, as if he meant to impale him; but it was only for the purpose of presenting the fish on its p.r.o.ngs, as an addition to his honour the captain's dinner.

"I wish it war better; but we've had a sad sickly season down below, and all the dolphins and bonitos are on the doctor's list with influenzie."

During this interview, the men were all standing near the gangway, armed with buckets of water, wet swabs, &c., impatient for the commencement of the fun.

"But I must wish you good-morning, Captain Oak.u.m; I have no time to lose. I have two or three other s.h.i.+ps to board this morning."

"Good-morning!"

The band struck up "Off she goes." "Carry on, you lubbers!" said the coachman. Crack went the whip--off pranced the horses--and away whirled the car, which no sooner approached the gangway, than the procession was greeted with torrents of water, and his "G.o.ds.h.i.+p" was half smothered in his own element. After gasping for breath, and shaking off the superfluous moisture, Neptune and the _fair_ Amphitrite took their station on "the booms," to superintend the operations of the day. The clerk handed to his majesty a list of his new subjects, who were recommended to his peculiar attention.

"Richard Goldie is the first on the list," said Neptune; "send him up!"

And away scampered the Tritons (or constables), who were naked to the waist, the upper parts of their bodies being hideously painted, fantastic-looking caps on their heads, and short painted staves in their hands. The main-hatch "grating" was lifted, and up came our friend Richard, blindfolded, between two constables, laughing and joking with his captors as he came along. As soon as he made his appearance, Neptune exclaimed--

"Who have we got here? I ought to know the cut of that younker's jib.

Ay, I'm blowed if it isn't the same that was cruising about the other day after a drowning s.h.i.+pmate. One of the right sort that. Just put my mark upon him--give him a touch of the tar-brush, and let him go."

Almost untouched, Richard was allowed to escape forward, where he immediately equipped himself with a wet "swab," and prepared to follow the example of those around him.

"Edward c.u.mmin! Bring Edward c.u.mmin!"

And c.u.mmin made his appearance, escorted as Goldie had been, with a face almost as white as the handkerchief that blinded his eyes, and s.h.i.+vering with antic.i.p.ation. The attendant Tritons seated him on the edge of the jolly-boat at the gangway; and the barber, turning to Neptune, and holding up his three razors, said--

"Please your honour, which?"

"Let us hear first what he has to say for himself," said Neptune.

"Where do ye come from?"

"From Scot----oo! oo!" said the poor fellow, as the barber thrust a well-filled tar-brush into his mouth.

"How long is it since you left it?"

But c.u.mmin had gained experience; he set his teeth, pressed his lips together, and sat, a ludicrous picture of fear, mixed with desperate resolution.

"A close Scot, I see," said Neptune; "give him some soap to soften his _fizz_, and teach him to open his mouth. Shave him clean."

The barber lathered his victim's cheeks with tar, which he _dabbed_ on without much regard for his feelings; while the Tritons, with their hands in his hair, _tugged_ his head about in the proper direction. The operation was performed with the "favourite's" razor, which left the furrows of its _fine_ edge upon his cheeks. The doctor was standing by with his vial of tar-water, and his box of indescribable pills, ready to take advantage of every involuntary gasp of the poor patient. At last, after daubing his hair with rancid grease, "to make it grow," the bandage was suddenly taken from his eyes, and he was thrown backward into the boat, and left floundering among the tarry water, till some charitable hand dragged him out. Half-drowned and half-blinded, c.u.mmin staggered forwards, blessing his stars that his torments were over; but, alas! he soon found that he had escaped from the fangs of the torturing few, only to encounter the tender mercies of the vindictive many. Groans and hisses from all quarters gave token of the dislike in which he was held--bucketfuls of water were dashed in his face, and a rope drawn suddenly right across, tripped up his feet, and he floundered on the deck at the mercy of his tormentors, who, whenever he attempted to rise, dashed torrents of water upon him, and half-buried him in wet "swabs."

Mad with rage and mortification, wearied and exhausted, c.u.mmin at last reached the forecastle, where he sat down for awhile, to recover breath and strength.

"Come, c.u.mmin, man," shouted Goldie to him--"come and join the sport."

There was something in Goldie's joyous and laughing tone which jarred upon c.u.mmin's excited feelings--it seemed to him like an insult, that his companion should be so merry and happy, while he was sitting, like an evil spirit, scowling on the scene of mirth before him. He made no reply to Goldie, but muttered to himself--"Laugh on, my young c.o.c.k of the walk; you shall pay dearly for your fun." From that day, c.u.mmin became an altered man in manner; he no longer attempted to conceal his dislike to Goldie, but on all occasions did his utmost to thwart and annoy him. He used to pace up and down the deck, in gloomy silence, while the rest of the crew were sleeping around him; and dark and deadly were the thoughts that crowded through his brain. He felt that he was disliked and avoided by all his companions, and, attributing their estrangement to the arts and influence of Goldie, over and over again did he vow bitter revenge against him. But how was his revenge to be gratified? There was the rub. He was too much of a coward to attack him openly, and feared to attempt any secret mischief, as he knew that he would be immediately suspected as the author of it; for his hatred to Goldie had, by this time, been remarked throughout the s.h.i.+p, where, it was equally obvious, Goldie had no other enemy. But, while he is meditating mischief, we must go on with our story.

When the Briton arrived in Madras Roads, several vessels were lying at anchor there; and one of them, a small merchantman, had her foretopsail loose, and "blue-peter" flying. This was the Columbine, a Liverpool s.h.i.+p, which was expected to sail that night about twelve o'clock. As c.u.mmin stood on the forecastle in the evening, after the hammocks were piped down, looking gloomily at that vessel, his countenance suddenly brightened up. He rubbed his hands together, and laughed aloud; then checking himself, and looking cautiously round, to see whether any one was near him, he dived below. At midnight, the Columbine "got under way," and stood to sea.

Next morning, while was.h.i.+ng decks, the officer of the deck called out, "Mids.h.i.+pman! I don't see c.u.mmin; send him up."

"c.u.mmin!--Richard c.u.mmin!" was echoed round the decks; but no Richard c.u.mmin appeared.

The hands were called out to muster; c.u.mmin did not answer to his name.

Strict search was made for him, but he was nowhere to be found. The first and most natural conclusion was, that he had deserted to the Columbine; but it was too late now to ascertain. But that belief was a good deal shaken, when one of the men, who happened to have been awake at eleven o'clock the night before, said that he had heard a loud splash in the water, and ran immediately to the "port" to look out; but all was silent again; and, if it was, as he now supposed, c.u.mmin, he must have gone down immediately. He did not give the alarm at the time, for he was half-asleep when he heard the noise, and thought he must have been mistaken. While the man was giving this evidence on the quarterdeck, up came Goldie with a piece of paper, which he had found on the pillow of his hammock, on which were scrawled the following words:--"Richie, I must put an end to this life of misery and mortification; when I am gone, perhaps you will think more kindly of me. I was wicked enough to talk of revenge. I leave my chest and all my traps to you. Be kind to my poor mother, for the sake of your unhappy s.h.i.+pmate." It was now evident to all that the poor fellow, whose dejection and reserve had been long noticed, had committed suicide; and, much as he was disliked, his disappearance cast a gloom over the s.h.i.+p's company for some days. Goldie grieved sincerely for him, now that he was gone--all his violence, all his tempers were forgotten, and Richard only thought of him as the friend of his boyhood, and the companion of his early days; and he was much affected by the kindly feeling manifested in his note.

We must now transport ourselves, for awhile, on board the Columbine, and follow Edward c.u.mmin and his fortunes. On the night of the Briton's arrival in Madras Roads, c.u.mmin, who was a capital swimmer, dropped unperceived under the bows of the Columbine, about an hour before she got "under way," and climbed into the "head" by a rope that was hanging overboard. He pa.s.sed the look-out on the forecastle; but the man, being half-asleep, took him for one of the s.h.i.+p's company. He then _dived_ down the main-hatchway, and concealed himself in the "heart" of one of the cable-tiers, where he remained undiscovered during the day. Next night, when all was quiet, he stole up on the gundeck, and was in the act of helping himself out of one of the bread-bags there, when a man of the mess, who happened to be awake, seized him as a thief, and dragged him on the upper deck.

"Bring a light, quartermaster," said the mate; "let us see who this skulking thief is. Holloa!" continued he, starting back, with surprise, "who the deuce have we got here? Where did you spring from?"

"I came up from the cable-tier to get something to eat, sir; I was very hungry."