The True Woman Part 2

In her the imagination and fancy have such a lively play, that the homeliest principles a.s.sume forms of beauty. In intellectual pursuits she is destined to excel by her fine sensibilities, her nice observations, and exquisite tastes, while man is appointed to investigate the laws of abstruse sciences, and perform in literature and art the bolder flights of genius. She may surpa.s.s him in representing life and manners, and in the composition of letters, memoirs, and moral tales, in descriptive poetry, and in certain styles of music and painting, and even in sculpture. But she will never write an Iliad or a Paradise Lost, or tragedies like those of Aeschylus. She will never rival Demosthenes in producing a political oration, nor a ma.s.sive philosophic history like Thucydides. She will not paint a Madonna like Raphael, nor chisel an Apollo Belvedere. The logic of Aristotle, the polemics of Augustine, the prodigious onsets of a Luther, the Inst.i.tutes of a Calvin, the Novum Organum of Bacon, the Principia of Newton, the Cosmos of Humboldt--the like of these she will never achieve, nor is it desirable that she should.

Women seldom invent. There are all manner of inventions, often hundreds of applications in a single day, for patents at the Patent Office, yet among them there are no female applicants. Woman cannot compete with man in a long course of mental labor. The female mind is rather quiet and timid than fiery and driving. It admires rather than covets the great exploits of the other s.e.x. Woman never excelled in architecture. To her belong the gentler arts of quiet life and retirement, where she has power to soften and refine the heart of him who is accustomed to battle with the elements and the forces of external nature.

We might speak at length of woman's gentle nature, present striking examples of female submission, endurance, and heroism, and speak in general of her charms and of her beneficent influence in domestic and social life. It would be equally pertinent, perhaps, to exhibit brilliant specimens of female genius and culture in the more graceful walks of literature, science, or art. These gay flowers of humanity lie scattered all over the vast field of history. But our subject leads us in another direction. Woman as a helpmeet finds in her own nature the natural introduction to the spheres of usefulness and influence ever open to her. She has a body, a mind, and soul. She must help, physically, mentally, and spiritually. The household partners.h.i.+p is opened to her physical nature. This relation is good as far at it goes. But it is only the beginning. It is rather the result than the commencement of the union. There is a closer tie found in intellectual companions.h.i.+p. Mind comes in contact with mind; the wants of the intellect are met, and a union is the result. Men engaged in public life, literary men and artists, have often found in their wives companions and confidantes in thought no less than in feeling. And as the intellectual development of woman has spread wider, and never higher, they have been mutual helpers, suited to each other. Roland and his wife in Paris, William and Mary Howitt of England, and Mr. and Mrs. Browning, are beautiful ill.u.s.trations of this principle, though they are exceptional in their character. As a rule, when men find helpers in women, there is no community of employment. Harmony exists in difference no less than in likeness, if only the same key-note governs both parts. Woman the poem, man the poet! Woman the heart, man the head! Such instances lie all about us. Man rides to battle, while his wife is busy in the kitchen; but difference of occupation does not prevent that community of inward life, that perfect esteem which causes him to say,--

"Whom G.o.d loves, to him gives he such a wife"

And yet there is a still higher realm open before woman, because of her spiritual nature.

Woman as a helpmeet needs something besides a well-stored mind. She requires a heart filled with pure affections. Here we perceive how essential to her well being is submission to Christ.

The a.s.sumption of the New Testament is, that we possess an animal nature. The meaning of the word _flesh_, in all the New Testament writings, is, that the human family are living in an animal condition.

It is taught that in that condition it is impossible for them to understand higher truths, or to feel higher influences, or to enter into the experiences which belong to the full development of the higher faculties. Christ came to us, suffered, and died for us, that an escape from this lower into the higher realm might be possible. It is possible. There is inherent under the divine influence the power of recreating, so that the soul shall escape from the prison-house of the flesh, and shall henceforth lead the mind and the body into a higher realm of thought and action. The very nature of woman makes her susceptible to religious impressions. Her lively imagination, her quick sensibilities, and her ready sympathy enable her readily to give Christ, the personification of every manly attribute and the embodiment of every virtue, a welcome to her soul.

It is possible for woman's spiritual nature to so marry Christ, that her physical nature can, without a great sacrifice, forego the joys of earthly companions.h.i.+p. Hence some women mated with a brute of a man, s.h.i.+ne as Christians, and make excellent mothers. Woman as a Christian is a helpmeet indeed and in truth. Her power as such is felt in the church and in the world. She is peculiarly adapted to carry forward enterprises which have to do with meliorating the condition of society. Who is so adapted as she to manage an orphan's home, or to minister to the sick in hospitals, or to give support and sympathy to the aged, or to train children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord? The first requisite to companions.h.i.+p is a heart imbued with the love of Christ. _A heart must be emphasized_, for a heartless woman is a terror in society, but a woman with a great heart, reverent and obedient to G.o.d, and full of love for Christ and his work, is a benefaction to a man, to a home, to a community, and to the world.

"Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised." And a woman that feareth the Lord and serveth him, is praised and prized beyond rubies. The next requisite to holiness may be said to be skilfulness in the home. Woman must be trained to household duties. If she lacks here, she is wanting in much that makes her a real wife or mother or sister.

America, the land of homes, finds the housewife essential to its future. Housework in woman is ever honorable. It ought to be her glory and her pride. Let us make it so more and more.

The second requisite is intelligence. A woman must keep up with man in literature, in general news, in what interests the community, and especially in growth in grace, and in the knowledge of the word of G.o.d, if she would make her home attractive. Thus shall they

"Sit side by side full sunned in all their powers Dispensing harvests; Self-reverent each and reverencing each Distinct in individualities; But like each other even as those who love, Then comes the statelier Eden back to man.

For it is possible in wedded pair a harmony More grateful than harmonious sound to the ear."

Said Count Zinzendorf, in regard to his wife, "Twenty-five years'

experience has shown me that just the helpmeet whom I love is the only one that could suit my vocation. Who else could have so carried through my family affairs? Who lived so spotlessly before the world?

Who so wisely aided me in my rejection of a dry morality? Who so clearly set aside Pharisaism, which, as years pa.s.sed, threatened to creep in among us? Who so deeply discerned as to the spirits of delusion which sought to bewilder us? Who would have governed my whole economy so wisely, richly, and hospitably, when circ.u.mstances commanded? Who have taken indifferently the part of servant or mistress without, on the one side, affecting an especial spirituality; on the other, being sullied by any worldly pride? Who, in a community where all ranks are eager to be on a level, would, from wise and real causes, have known how to maintain inward and outward distinctions?

Who, without a murmur, has seen her husband encounter such dangers by land and sea? Who undertaken with him and sustained such astonis.h.i.+ng pilgrimages? Who, amid such difficulties, would have always held _up her head and supported me_? Who found such vast sums of money and acquitted them on her own credit? And, finally, who, of all human beings, could so well understand and interpret to others my inner and outer being, as this one, of such n.o.bleness in her way of thinking, such great intellectual capacity, and so free from the theological perplexities that enveloped me?" Let any one peruse, with all intentness, the lineaments of this portrait, and he will be impressed with the fact, that it is possible for woman to fulfil her mission, and become a true helpmeet. This woman was not a copy. She was not a cipher. She was an original; and while she loved and honored her husband, she thought for herself on all subjects, with so much intelligence, that he could and did look on her as a sister and friend also.

The third and highest grade of marriage union is the religious, which may be expressed "as a pilgrimage round a common shrine." This includes the other,--home sympathies and household wisdom,--for these pilgrims know how to a.s.sist each other along the dusty way.

These facts should be remembered in her education. The beautiful forms which everywhere exist in nature should be impressed upon the female mind, and the treasures of elegant literature should be opened to her in no stinted measure.

A well-disciplined and a well-stored mind she does indeed require; but a heart of pure affections, a lively imagination, and quick sensibilities to give depth, and form, and beauty, and vivacity to the character of her mind, are so peculiarly feminine accomplishments, that without them a woman of the greatest intellect is, as it were, uns.e.xed and disrobed of her loveliest charms. She may be a Queen Elizabeth, and conquer a Spanish Armada, but she will never conquer the heart, nor be recognized as a model of female character. She is to be the mother of her race. This fixes the sphere of her duties in the home. Think of Helen Olcott, the wife of Rums Choate; of the first Mrs. Webster, and of her influence upon that man who won the proud appellation, "The Great Expounder."

The story is told of Daniel Webster meeting a woman with her two boys loaded down with bundles, at the Jersey Ferry, in New York. The lady had lost her fortune through the failure of her husband. She was poor, and the old set ignored her. But she lived in a little cottage in New Jersey, and made it bright with her face of love. She was tired and sad. Many had pa.s.sed her. Mr. Webster, seeing her perplexity, offered to relieve her of her bundles, and take charge of one of the boys.

They entered the cars. He talked to her of her G.o.d-given trust, of her work, and of the results that would naturally flow from her efforts; of the province of a mother, of the trust reposed in her by G.o.d himself. She was encouraged and strengthened, and when she came to the depot, she said, "Please, sir, give me your card, that I may mention your name to my husband." She hurried out, and looked at it, and saw the name of Daniel Webster. The woman was thrilled with the joy that came to her in her sphere of service. Earth knows no fairer, holier relation than that of mother; and she turned with delight from the bubbles and froth of fas.h.i.+on to the grand work before her of raising men for G.o.d and humanity.

"The treasures of the deep are not so precious As are the concealed comforts of a man Locked up in woman's love. I scent the air Of blessings when I come but near the house.

What a delicious breath marriage sends forth!

The violet bed's not sweeter."

Think of the realm in which woman may rule. If she be elegant and refined; if she has learned how to govern, first herself, and then those about her, there is a charm diffused through the home which reveals itself in the good order of the establishment, in the politeness of the servants, in the genial disposition of the children, in the delightful intercourse of the different portions of the household, and in the fact that "her husband is known in the gates when he sitteth among the elders of the land. Strength and honor are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously; but thou excellest them all."

In such words did King Lemuel praise this excellency of woman. Blessed memory! Who does not remember that one form of the old-fas.h.i.+oned mother,--the law of whose life was love; one who was the divinity of our infancy, and the sacred presence in the shrine of our first earthly idolatry; one whose heart was ever green, though the snows of time had gathered in the boughs of her life-tree; one to whom we never grow old, but in the plumed troop or the grave council are children still; one who welcomed us coming, blessed us going, and forgets us never; one who waits for the echo of our returning footstep, or who, perhaps, has gone on to the better land, and keeps a light in the window for those left behind.

Such women have power now as did the Hannahs and the Ruths of the olden time. When thinking of them, you are convinced that, young or old, they remain among the best of G.o.d's gifts to man. This leads us to remark further, that woman's right to be a woman implies her right to help woman. Woman must be true to her s.e.x, or society will neglect its duty. That old story of Ruth and Naomi has ploughed through the world, because it reveals woman's power as a helper. Ruth clung to Naomi, and Naomi helped her daughter to find Boaz, that n.o.ble prince in Israel; and so she became identified with the succession of promise. The life of Mrs. Sigourney ill.u.s.trates the same truth. See her among the young, calling forth their powers, and starting them in a career of usefulness. Impressed with the importance of an education, she aided by her pen, as by her example, to induce the ladies of her acquaintance to obtain a thorough knowledge of the primary branches that enter into daily use.

We want a woman to be intellectual without being puny. We ask that she remain a pliant vine, and that she be not made into the rugged oak.

Woman owes it to herself that she be fitted to occupy any position in society. In this land, as in no other, the barriers of caste are removed, and every line of separation obliterated. The rich and the poor meet together.

The cultured sewing-girl is quite likely to become the wife of the future millionnaire; and the lady reared in the midst of every luxury, and endowed with a fortune, amid the reverses of fortune may be compelled to draw upon her own resources of labor, and of love, and culture, to stay up the hands and encourage the heart of the man more than ever dependent upon her for happiness and hope.

Such a woman Irving must have painted when he wrote, "I have often had occasion to remark the fort.i.tude with which women sustain the most overwhelming reverses of fortune. Those disasters which break down the spirit of a man, and prostrate him in the dust, seem to call forth all the energies of the softer s.e.x, and give such intrepidity and devotion to their character, that at times it approaches to sublimity."

Nothing can be more touching than to behold a soft and tender female, who had been all weakness, and dependence, and alive to every trivial roughness, while treading the prosperous paths of life, suddenly rising in mental force to be the comforter and supporter of her husband under misfortunes, and abiding, with unshrinking firmness, the bitterest blasts of adversity.

As the vine, which has long twined its graceful foliage about the oak, and been lifted by it into suns.h.i.+ne, will, when the lordly plant is rifted by the thunderbolt, cling round it with caressing tendrils, and bind up its shattered boughs, so it is beautifully ordained by Providence that woman, who is the mere dependent and ornament of man in his happier hours, should be his stay and solace when smitten with sudden calamity; winding herself into the rugged recesses of his nature, tenderly supporting the head and binding up the broken heart.

To fill this feature of the wife, education is essential in household affairs, quite as much as education in books, in music, and the ways of fas.h.i.+on is essential to the young wife whose husband has suddenly become rich, and has given up his chambers and taken an elegant house in some fas.h.i.+onable street.

It is as bad to fall from the heights of opulence, and know not how to sweep a room, make a bed, or cook a meal, as it is to rise to an exalted position, and know not how to welcome company or preside at a feast.

The women in America who suddenly become elevated in rank, and buy pictures by the yard and books by the cord, are quite as abundant as are those who lose fortune and rank, and are compelled to seek menial employments.

The happiness secured by the proper employment of time, and by the cultivation of the mind, furnishes a high incentive to exertion.

Contrast the woman who is educated with the one uneducated. See her in her home, reigning a queen, while her uneducated sister, though she may have wealth and beauty, will constantly feel the lack of that which gold cannot procure nor fortune provide. "We are foolish, and without excuse foolish," said Ruskin, "in speaking of the 'superiority' of one s.e.x to the other, as if they could be compared in similar things. Each has what the other has not; each completes the other, and is completed by the other; they are in nothing alike; and the happiness and perfection of both depend on each asking and receiving from the other what the other only can give. Their separate characters are briefly these: The man's power is active, progressive, defensive. He is eminently the doer, the creator, the discoverer, the defender. His intellect is for speculation and invention; his energy for adventure, for work, for conquest, whenever war is just, whenever conquest is necessary. But the woman's power is for love, not for battles; and her intellect is not for invention or creation, but for sweet ordering arrangement and decision. She sees the qualities of things, their claims, and their places. Her great function is Praise; she enters into no contest, but infallibly judges the crown of contest. By her office and her place, she is protected from all danger and temptation. The man, in his rough work in the open world, must encounter all peril and trial. To him, therefore, the failure, the offence, the inevitable error; often he must be wounded, or subdued, often misled, and always burdened. But he guards the woman from all this. Within his house, as ruled by her,--unless she herself has sought it,--need enter no danger, no temptation, no cause of error or offence. This is the true nature of home,--it is the place of peace; the shelter, not only from all injury, but from all terror, doubt, and derision. In so far as it is not this, it is not home; so far as the anxieties of the outer life penetrate into it, and the inconsistently-minded, unknown, unloved, or hostile society of the outer world is allowed, either by husband or wife, to cross the threshold, it ceases to be home; it is then only a part of that outer world which you have roofed over and lighted a fire in. But so far as it is a sacred place, a vestal temple, a temple of the hearth, watched over by household G.o.ds, before whose faces none may come but those whom they can receive with love,--so far as it is this, and roof and fire are types only of a n.o.bler shade and light,--shadows of the rock in a weary land, and light as of the Pharos in the stormy sea; so far it vindicates the name, and fulfils the praise, of home. And wherever a true wife comes, this home is always round her. The stars only may be overhead; the glow-worm in the night--cold gra.s.s may be the only fire at her foot; but home is yet wherever she is; and for a n.o.ble-woman it stretches far round her, better than ceiled with cedar, or painted with vermilion, shedding its quiet light far, for those who else were homeless."

Possess these qualifications and woman will be respected and beloved.

Her area of usefulness will be enlarged.

The man of brains and of industry and economy, has the promise of wealth and position much more certainly than the indolent son of a wealthy father. Respect such young men, and fit yourselves, young women, to be worthy of them.

Remember position is emptiness itself, unless there be talent, piety, and culture to adorn it.

We have asked the poor to help the rich. It is equally important that the rich help the poor. It is impossible to overestimate the value of those visitations of the n.o.ble few who leave their homes and seek out the little room of the poor seamstress, and carry sunlight and love and comfort into the abodes of the impoverished and the sorrowful.

Not only that, but it is possible and practicable for women of wealth and culture to help their s.e.x to reach positions of respectability and usefulness.

Mary Lyon is known and honored throughout the world for her work in behalf of women.

Imagine our first ladies opening their parlors to girls who earn by industry and diligence in study, by purity of heart and blamelessness of life, the right to attention and respect.

Let it be known that the woman who makes a good record in the shop shall be respected in the home, and that she who becomes skilled in thought and acquainted with scientific research, should find thereby an introduction to society, that will enn.o.ble her, and it is impossible to describe the effect that would be produced upon the minds of all. In this work women of culture can keep step with Jesus, and become the benefactresses of their s.e.x and blessings to mankind.

Let woman help woman, and society will be reformed. Let man be true to woman, and society will be adorned.

Of late there have been going round the press pen portraits of Bulwer, d.i.c.kens, and Carlyle. The two first are separated from their wives, and their lives are sunless and their homes are empty. Carlyle, that dry and laconic talker and that fierce hater, is made beautiful when you read that he conducts his company to the pretty sitting-room of his wife.

Mrs. Carlyle is a lively, pleasant creature, and a world of thought beams from her dark eyes. She has learned a great deal; her father gave her a most profound education, and she is possessed of a keen, yet mild judgment, of which her husband himself is afraid. There she sits sewing with her handsome fingers a new cravat for her Diogenes.

In these surroundings all feel at ease, and Carlyle becomes talkative and witty, and displays his whole famous eloquence. Happy the man who grows witty in the society of his wife, and finds there the atmosphere calculated to promote his highest, grandest, and fullest development.

Mutual confidence is essential to happiness. The woman cannot confide in the man unless he can sympathize in her tenderness; nor can the man counsel with the woman, unless she can in some measure look upon the world as he looks upon it.

Hence it is wisely ordained that in every great man there are to be seen some of the feminine elements, and in every great, true woman, there are always to be found some elements of the sterner s.e.x.

It is because the ballot has a tendency to make woman the rival rather than the companion of man, that it is opposed to the purest sentiments of woman. She wishes no division, and cannot tolerate independence or separation from the object of her love. Love cannot feed on strife.

The husband and wife are one, though G.o.d made them male and female. If one acts in opposition to the other, domestic peace is slain on the altar of love. What G.o.d hath joined, let not potentates or anything else put asunder. It is an old truth, "Better a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox with hatred therewith." Man asks that his wife be pure, that she know but little of the deceptions and trials of trade, that she come not in contact with the rough exterior of life, that ever before the mind of man there might stand forth the beautiful ideal woman, whose influence irradiates the faith, with the light of love, in his journeyings through the wilderness.