A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume Ix Part 59

CHURMS.

Bravely resolved, i' faith!

LELIA.

But, to be short-- I have a secret friend, that dwells from hence Some two days' journey, that's the most; And if you can, as well I know you may, Convey me thither secretly-- For company I desire no other than your own-- Here take my hand: That once perform'd, my heart is next.

CHURMS.

If on th'adventure all the dangers lay, That Europe or the western world affords; Were it to combat Cerberus himself, Or scale the brazen walls of Pluto's court, When as there is so fair a prize propos'd; If I shrink back, or leave it unperform'd, Let the world canonise me for a coward: Appoint the time, and leave the rest to me.

LELIA.

When night's black mantle overspreads the sky, And day's bright lamp is drenched in the west-- To-morrow night I think the fittest time, That silent shade[s] may give us[159] safe convoy Unto our wished hopes, unseen of living eye.

CHURMS.

And at that time I will not fail In that, or ought may make for our avail.

NURSE.

But what if Sophos should meet you by the forest-side, and encounter you with his single rapier?

CHURMS.

Sophos? a hop of my thumb!

A wretch, a wretch! Should Sophos meet Us there accompani'd with some champion With whom 'twere any credit to encounter, Were he as stout as Hercules himself, Then would I buckle with them hand to hand, And bandy blows, as thick as hailstones fall, And carry Lelia away in spite of all their force.

What? love will make cowards fight-- Much more a man of my resolution.

LELIA.

And on your resolution I'll depend.

Until to-morrow at th'appointed time, When I look for you: till when I leave you, And go make preparation for our journey.

CHURMS.

Farewell, fair love, until we meet again. Why so: did I not tell you she would be glad to run away with me at length? Why, this falls out, e'en as a man would say, thus I would have it. But now I must go cast about for some money too. Let me see, I have outlawed three or four of Gripe's debtors; and I have the bonds in mine own hands. The sum that is due to him is some two or three hundred pounds. Well, I'll to them; if I can get but one half, I'll deliver them their bonds, and leave the other half to their own consciences: and so I shall be sure to get money to bear charges. When all fails, well fare a good wit! But soft; no more of that. Here comes Master Gripe.

_Enter_ GRIPE.

GRIPE.

What, Master Churms? what, all alone? How fares your body?

CHURMS.

Faith, sir, reasonable well: I am e'en walking here to take the fresh air.

GRIPE.

'Tis very wholesome, this fair weather. But, Master Churms, how like you my daughter? Can you do any good on her? Will she be ruled yet? How stands she affected to Peter Plod-all?

CHURMS.

O, very well, sir; I have made her very conformable. O, let me alone to persuade a woman. I hope you shall see her married within this week at most,--(_Aside_) I mean to myself.

GRIPE.

Master Churms, I am so exceedingly beholding to you, I cannot tell how I shall requite your kindness. But, i' the meantime, here's a brace of angels for you to drink for your pains. This news hath e'en lightened my heart. O sir, my neighbour Plod-all is very wealthy. Come, Master Churms, you shall go home with me: we'll have good cheer, and be merry for this to-night, i' faith.

CHURMS.

Well, let them laugh that win. [_Aside. Exeunt_.

_Enter_ PEG _and her_ GRANAM.

PEG.

Granam, give me but two crowns of red gold, and I'll give you twopence of white silver, if Robin the devil be not a water-witch.

MOTHER MIDNIGHT.

Marry, Jesus bless us! why, prythee?

PEG.

Marry, I'll tell you why. Upon the morrow after the blessed new year, I came trip, trip, trip, over the market hill, holding up my petticoat to the calves of my legs, to show my fine coloured stockings, and how finely I could foot it in a pair of new corked shoes I had bought; and there I spied this Monsieur m.u.f.fe lie gaping up into the skies, to know how many maids would be with child in the town all the year after. O, 'tis a base vexation slave! How the country talks of the large-ribbed varlet!

MOTHER MIDNIGHT.

Marry, out upon him. What a Friday-faced slave it is: I think in my conscience, his face never keeps holiday.

PEG.

Why, his face can never be at quiet. He has such a choleric nose, I durst ha' sworn by my maidenhead (G.o.d forgive me, that I should take such an oath), that if William had had such a nose, I would never ha'

loved him.

_Enter_ WILLIAM CRICKET.

WILL CRICKET.

What a talking is here of noses? Come, Peg, we are toward marriage; let us talk of that may do us good. Granam, what will you give us toward housekeeping?

MOTHER MIDNIGHT.

Why, William, we are talking of Robin Goodfellow. What think you of him?

WILL CRICKET.

Marry, I say, he looks like a tankard-bearer that dwells in Petticoat Lane at the sign of the Mermaid; and I swear by the blood of my codpiece, and I were a woman, I would lug off his lave[160] ears, or run him to death with a spit. And, for his face, I think 'tis pity there is not a law made, that it should be felony to name it in any other places than in bawdy-houses. But, Granam, what will you give us?

MOTHER MIDNIGHT.

Marry, I will give Peg a pot and a pan, two platters, a dish and a spoon, a dog and a cat. I trow, she'll prove a good huswife, and love her husband well too.

WILL CRICKET.

If she love me, I'll love her. I' faith, my sweet honeycomb, I'll love thee _A per se A_. We must be asked in church next Sunday; and we'll be married presently.

PEG.

I' faith, William, we'll have a merry day on't.

MOTHER MIDNIGHT.

That we will, i' faith, Peg; we'll have a whole noise of fiddlers there.

Come, Peg, let's hie us home; we'll make a bag-pudding to supper, and William shall go and sup with us.

WILL CRICKET.

Come on, i' faith.

[_Exeunt_.

_Enter_ FORTUNATUS _and_ SOPHOS.

FORTUNATUS.

Why, how now, Sophos? all _amort_? still languis.h.i.+ng in love?