Why not go to JUSCO with me, Valkyrie? Volume 1 Chapter 3 Part1

Translator: Crown Princess JUSCO(Kaelpie)    Editor: Yuzuhaa    Proofreader: Penguin    TLC: s.h.i.+mizuA, Kiyo-hime

Chapter 3

Imperial Princess Fau: "To tell the truth, the tank being worth 900 people was a bluff. They greatly inflated it. … At most, it's worth about 200."

Princess Pau: "No, that doesn't matter. You aliens made a miscalculation… Even though it's an octopus type it didn't attack with tentacles! We had a princess and a female knight in front of you and you attacked with ray guns. Seriously, what a waste."

1

"You guys, don't run away! You have to clean up properly and then you can go home!"(Tomeko)

"Kupy! Kupy!"

Aliens were cleaning the living room and garden while being yelled at by my grandmother. By the way [Kupy, Kupy] was the cry of the octopus infantrymen. It's a little cute.

The wall burnt by ray guns s.h.i.+ned beautifully when wiped with a dust cloth.

"…Be at ease. After considering what will happen if I'm lost, I made my infantry bring my latest invention: the 'Even if it hits, it will only get dirty' ray beam."(Fau)

[Oooh, what wisdom! The eighth princess sure is wise!](Wii)

"…Ahem. Praise me more."(Fau)

Princess Fau, isn't your wisdom extremely pessimistic?

By the way, Miya was caught by Grandma when trying to escape.

"Hey, you also have to clean up! Give it up. In the old days, your old hag and I used to fight over the Banchou[1] seat in this area. To think that her grandchild is also going after our Rinichirou."(Tomeko)

"It's not like I was after Rin or anything… Besides, I don't think it matters who my grandmother is."(Miya)

That's right Grandma. Stop s.h.i.+pping everyone. Miya has already told me plenty of times before, 'It's not like I like Rin or anything'.

Well, for now, let's set aside the matters with the Hasturea.n.a.liens-.

"Princess Pau, I'd like to talk to you a little."(Rinichirou)

"Hm? What is it Rinichirou?" (Paulirifa)

"There are two things I must tell you. One is about the TV and internet. The other one is about how 'Otherworlders aren't rare in this town'."(Rinichirou)

"You said something about both of those just now?"(Paulirifa)

"That's right. Err… Let's talk about the latter for the time being. As you can see from these aliens, in this town, it's not rare for people from other worlds to come to an 'ordinary j.a.panese life'."(Rinichirou)

"Does that mean there are more otherworlders other than us and the aliens?"(Paulirifa)

"Oh, there are plenty. For example, the office near the town hall is home to the 'Temporary Government of the Sanctuary Undersea Nation of Atlantis', and the outskirts of the town have the 'Vlad Faction from the Transylvania Earldom' living there. Then, at the bakery near the school there's the 'World's most famous government in exile': 'Free France', but──" (Rinichirou)

"Wait… Wait a minute, Rinichirou."(Pau)

"What is it?"(Rinichirou)

"Until now we were the ones who did the boke/fool and you did the tsukkomi/retort, but now you are suddenly doing the boke/fool. I'm no good at being the tsukkomi."(Paulirifa)

"No, I didn't say that to be the boke. It's all true."(Rinichirou)

"You're lying! There shouldn't be so many governments in exile! To begin with, wasn't that 'Free France' the government in exile during World War II? When France was occupied by Germany? Because I'm an otaku I'm familiar with《Sphera》's World War II you know."(Paulirifa)

"It's a long story── Originally this Heike town, as its name suggests, was founded by the Heike clan of fallen warriors that fled here. Therefore, since long ago we've actively accepted fugitives from other worlds."(Rinichirou)

"I see."(Paulirifa)

"And in 1939, World War II broke out. The French who were defeated by Germany, fled here to Heike town and made a "Free France" government in exile──"(Rinichirou)

"No, that's a little…" (Paulirifa)

"Other people that saw it imitated it and soon we had governments in exile appearing all over the place. After that, they've repeatedly increased and decreased and so currently we have seven."(Rinichirou)

In this town of 873 people, there are 7 governments in exile. ──Actually, if you count in Princess Pau's and Krau's Holy Eis Kingdom government in exile that makes eight. The population becomes 875 too.

"Hmm… Isn't that a lot of them? Moreover, there is a considerable amount of history here."(Paulirifa)

"That's right. Incidentally, the Heike fallen warriors are still living here." (Rinichirou)

"Did you call us?"

Speak of the devil. The next door neighbor's freeloader showed up.

"Yo, Rinichirou, I brought vegetables from our house. …Oh? Are you by any chance the rumored princess?"

"Thou are?" (Paulirifa)

"I am Taira no Kagekiyo. I'm a Heike. I freeload on the second floor next door."(Kagekiyo)

"How… Even though Heike(平家) means first floor!?"(Paulirifa)

"I have been told that a million times."(Kagekiyo)

I don't know Kagekiyo's actual age, but apparently, he's around 20 years old. He was always someone who felt like a [Refres.h.i.+ng older brother], except that he always has arrows stuck in his shoulders and back, giving him a fallen warrior look.

"By the way, there was a game in which I had a leading role in a game arcade long ago.[2]"(Kagekiyo)

"Oh, you were that 'Kagekiyo'. I knew it." (Paulirifa)

"Hahaha, I feel so embarra.s.sed when I remember that costume."(Kagekiyo)

I don't know it, but it seems to have been a sorta famous game.

"Well then Rinichirou, I'm going now." (Kagekiyo)

"Bye, thanks for the vegetables." (Rinichirou)

The fallen Warrior Kagekiyo leaves fresh asparagus and peas, and goes home. He's a nice guy, but every time he comes by we have to clean up the blood that drips from his arrow wounds. ──Well, anyways.

"So this is why this town accepts all asylum seekers since long ago, as you see governments in exile can be established as you wish without any problems. It's also a measure to prevent the town from becoming depopulated. So people like Princess Pau aren't so rare."(Rinichirou)

"Uhmm… What can I say, I'm disappointed. I feel like my value just went down."(Paulirifa)

"Don't be discouraged. The value of a person isn't determined by uniqueness alone. Also, this is supplementary  ──Because the town is like this, you can go through the exile procedures easier than in other munic.i.p.alities. Even without marriage, you can live in this town and make a government in exile."(Rinichirou)

"How!? But grandmother…"(Paulirifa)

"Grandma tricked you. It's because she wants Krau as a daughter-in-law."(Rinichirou)

"What, she lied to me!"(Paulirifa)

If you think about it, isn't that a terrible story? Because she deceived you and tried to marry me off. I thought Princess Pau would be angry because of that but──

"Rrrr, how tactician like… As I expected, a talent such as that will be necessary to rebuild the Holy Eis Kingdom…"(Paulirifa)

And her evaluation of my grandmother kept increasing. Well, it's good you're not angry. If it were me, I would absolutely not want to let that kind of hag into my country.

"Then I can live in j.a.pan without Rinichirou and Krau having to marry? From now on it's the dream j.a.panese life! I'm free to watch late night anime and use unlimited internet, plus I can go to Akihabara as an envoy!" (Paulirifa)

"No that's impossible." (Rinichirou)

"Huh…? Why not?" (Paulirifa)

"That's because this is the countryside." (Rinichirou)

It's hard to tell her the truth, but I can't keep silent anymore.

This was not Tokyo, but the countryside.

"What!? What does that mean? Didn't you say this is Tokyo? Because there's a lot of farmland I was certain it was around Nerima… So this is the famous Saitama countryside, huh? Or, no way, no way… Is this the Gunma prefecture also known as the dark grounds of the internet!?"(Paulirifa)

"No, not that. Also, I will say this for the time being, but Saitama is a splendid city, you know? There are barely any other City Prefectures within the country aside from that one. I know the rumor about Gunma's internet but, as for the Kanto region, that place is still better than here."(Rinichirou)

"T-Then this is an even more remote area than Gunma…?"(Paulirifa)

"That's right."(Rinichirou)

Has she finally understood the situation? The princess trembled while turning pale.

"This is far away from Tokyo, a rural town on the prefectural border of Gifu, Nagano, and Aichi. Looking at the map it doesn't seem that far away, but because of its half-baked distance, there is no bullet train or airplane so it takes time to get to Tokyo; a genuinely remote area. Besides the NHK,  there are only two private channels that aren't malfunctioning. Originally we weren't even getting radio waves. In the old days, we would only have white noise on TV, but that changed with digital broadcasting."(Rinichirou)

"W-what…!! If we're so far away from Tokyo, I won't be able to go to Akihabara or Otome Road! Moreover, to think that even the TV signal didn't reach here… even though those unreceivable channels are the channels that are full with late-night Anime! My live-anime… Ah, that's right! The internet!? How about the internet!?"(Paulirifa)

"I'm sorry but… Your iPad isn't broken. There just isn't any cell tower around here."(Rinichirou)

"Wh… Wh-What!? No way, how it can be…!!"(Paulirfia)

"The optic cable for internet doesn't pa.s.s through this town. Neither ADSL and ISDN[3]. The branch office of NTT[4] is too far away, and in the first place PCs aren't very popular around here. 'It makes a man soft' they say and therefore there's a strong resistance to it here." (Rinichirou)

"Isn't this town unbelievable in various ways!? It's even more astonis.h.i.+ng than having 8 governments in exile located here … so, are you trying to say that you can't use internet in this town?" (Paulirifa)

"No, don't worry. It doesn't mean it's absolutely impossible. If it's this house some internet is possible. My mother used a PC for work. There is also a line."(Rinichirou)

My mother is currently on a long business trip with my father overseas, so during that time, I have permission to use her PC.

"Oh, good job Rinichirou! Then let's use it at once!"(Paulirifa)

"Later, later. It's no good now."(Rinichirou)

"Mu, why not? Is the PC's condition that bad?"(Paulirifa)

"No, it's because it has unlimited internet only after 11:00 pm."(Rinichirou)

It's an internet that costs royalties if you use it normally, but it becomes free to use from 11:00 pm to 8:00 am.[5]

It's called [Telehodai time], or [Telepho time] for short.

"You can use it as much as you like after 11:00 pm"(Rinichirou)

When Princess Pau heard that──

"Uu~~ Huu~~"(Paulirifa)

While shouting strange things, she fainted on the spot.

I began feeling sorry for her.

Footnote:

A delinquent boss of an area. Referencing Genpei Tōma Den. An arcade game made by NAMCO in 1986. This is his character looks like. 
ASDL: Asymmetric digital subscriber line.
ISDN: Integrated Services Digital Network.
Just read the wiki cuz I don't understand. j.a.panese main telecommunication company. NTT wiki page here. Kaelpie: I actually had this at one point. It was f.u.c.king h.e.l.l. He actually has a better one cuz mine was free from midnight to 8am.