Lady Maude's Mania Part 38

"Yas, oh, yas," said Sir Grantley; and he took his seat beside Maude.

"Tryphie," said Tom, "I can't help it. I must be off. This fellow makes me ill. May I go?"

She gave him a nod of intelligence, and he said something about being ready for dinner, and left the room to go out, take a hansom, and bowl down to one of the clubs, where he was soon so busily engaged in a game of pool that he forgot all about the dinner.

Very shortly after, Maude rose, bowed to Sir Grantley, and left the room with Tryphie, when the baronet crossed to Lady Barmouth's side, and was soon engaged in a most interesting conversation, whose murmur sent Lord Barmouth into a pleasant slumber, out of sight in a lounging chair, where he was quite forgotten, when her ladys.h.i.+p suggested that Sir Grantley should go with her to her boudoir to see the last new presents sent in for Maude.

"And you would like to wash your hands, too, before dinner," said her ladys.h.i.+p. "We will not trouble about dressing to-night."

Sir Grantley opened the door, and the old gentleman was left alone to wake up about a quarter of an hour later to find it was dark, and sit up rubbing his leg.

"Oh, damme, my leg," he said, softly. "Where--where are they all gone?

Why it's--it's past dinnertime," he said, looking at his watch by the dim light. "I shall be doosed glad when everybody's married and--and-- and--why the doose doesn't the dressing-bell ring? Heigh--oh--ha--hum!"

he added, yawning. "There's--there's--there's another of those abominable organs. I--I--I wish that all the set of them were at the bottom of the sea, for I lie at night with all their tunes coming back again, and seeming to grind themselves to fit the pains in my leg. Poor girl! she was always encouraging the fellows. Why dear me! Damme, haven't I got a single sixpence left to give him, to go away. No, that I haven't," he continued fumbling, "not a sou. She--she--she does keep me short," he muttered, opening the French window and looking out. "Oh, he's done playing now, so I shan't want the money. Why eh--eh--eh?

Why--he--he, he! the fellow's talking to one of the maids. He--he--he!

Hi--hi--hi! They will do it. I--I--I was a devil of a fellow amongst the girls when I was a young man; but now--oh, dear, oh dear! this wind seems to give me tortures, that it does."

He closed the window, but stood looking out.

"You'd better take care, you two, that my lady don't catch you, or there'll be such a devil of a row. He's--he's going down into the area.

Well, well, well, I shan't tell tales. He--he--he! Hi--hi--hi!" he chuckled, sitting down and nursing his leg. "I remember when I was about twenty, and d.i.c.k Jerrard and I--he's Lord Marrowby now, and a sober judge!--when we got over the wall at a boarding-school to see pretty Miss Vulliamy. Oh, dear, dear, dear, those were days. They preach and talk a deal now about being wicked, but it was very nice. I used to be a devil of a wicked fellow when I was young, and--and flirted terribly, while lately I've been as good as gold, and, damme, I haven't been half so happy."

He stopped rubbing his leg for a while.

"Everything's at sixes and sevens, damme, that it is. I'm nearly famished, that I am. If it hadn't been for that bit of chicken I should have been quite starved. Her ladys.h.i.+p's too bad, that she is. Cold boiled sole, rice pudding, and half a gla.s.s of hock in a tumbler of water. I can't stand it, that I can't. Damme, I'll make a good dinner to-night, that I will, if I die for it. I'll--I'll--I'll, damme, I'll kick over the traces for once in a way. Tom will help me, I know. He's a good boy, Tom is, and he'll see that I have a gla.s.s of port, and-- damme, where's Maude and her ladys.h.i.+p, and why isn't dinner ready? and-- eh--what?--what the devil's that. There's something wrong."

For at that moment a piercing shriek rang through the house, and there was the sound of a heavy fall upon the floor.

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE.

TOM DIPHOOS STAYS OUT LATE.

"Half thought I should have seen Charley Melton here; perhaps he has started for Italy after all," said Tom, who had gone straight to Barker's and engaged in a game of pool. "Might have stirred him up, but he don't seem to mind it a bit. Well, no wonder, seeing how he was treated."

"Red upon white; yellow's your player," said the marker, and Tom went up to make the stroke required of him; then he turned once more to glance at the table next to him, and watched two or three of the bets made.

"Past ten," he said to himself, glancing at his watch. "That's getting back to dinner. Never mind, I'm not the party wanted by her ladys.h.i.+p.

Charley must have known she was to be married to-morrow. I liked him too," he said, gazing at the players. "He's a big, strong, n.o.ble-looking fellow. Ah, well! I suppose that's because I'm little.

One mustn't go by outside appearances. Perhaps it's all for the best."

Just then a friend proposed that they should drop in at one of the theatres and see the new burlesque; and after a little hesitation Tom consented to go. After this a kidney had to be eaten at a tavern; so that it was one o'clock when he reached home, to find the lights burning, and a cl.u.s.ter of servants in the hall.

"Hallo, Robbins, what's up? House on fire?" he cried, as the butler admitted him, looking very solemn and troubled.

"No, my lord. Oh, dear no."

"Don't be an old image. What is it? Sir Grantley had a fit?"

"My young lady, my lord," said the butler in a solemn, mysterious whisper.

"Not ill--not ill?" cried Tom, excitedly.

"No, my lord," said the butler, "not ill, but--"

"Confound you, you great pump. Speak out," cried Tom, angrily.

"Gone, my lord--been missing hours. Her ladys.h.i.+p has been having fit after fit, and his lords.h.i.+p is 'most beside himself."

"Bolted!" exclaimed Tom; and, running into the dining-room, he threw himself into a chair and laughed till his sides ached.

"Poor Wilters! oh, Lord, what a game! Cut!--skimmed!"

He got up, and stamped round the room in the very ecstasy of delight, "The little smug hypocrite!" he said. "That's why she was so sanctified and sad to-day. Well, bless her, I like her pluck. Sold, my lady, sold!"

He suddenly woke up to the fact that he ought to go upstairs, and, turning serious, he walked into the hall.

"Where's her ladys.h.i.+p, Robbins?" he asked.

"Upstairs, my lord."

"Where's Sir Grantley?"

"Went out, my lord, about ten, to find that tail, straight man, sir, as came--Mr Hurkle."

"And he hasn't found him?"

"No, my lord, I s'pose not."

"Good job too," said Tom, shortly, and running upstairs he entered the drawing-room so suddenly that her ladys.h.i.+p, who was lying upon a sofa, being fanned by Tryphie, began to shriek.

"There, don't make that row, mother," said Tom, coa.r.s.ely. "Hang it all, what a smell of lavender!"

"Is that you, Tom?" sobbed her ladys.h.i.+p, as Justine came in with a bottle of hot water to apply to her mistress' feet.

"I suppose so, unless I was changed at my birth," he said, laughing at Tryphie, and then giving his father a free-and-easy nod. "Spirits and water--internal and ex."

"Oh, my boy, your wicked, wicked sister!" sobbed her ladys.h.i.+p.

"Serve you right," said Tom.

"Such a wanton disgrace to her family."

"Of course," said Tom.

"I shall never get over it."