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Jori's whisk stuttered to a stop at precisely the moment that Sawyer realized Erica was serious. Sure, she'd never taken an interest in the family business before, so maybe Erica didn't have any reason to think she might want to now. But it still stung that Erica could so easily relegate her to server after the work she'd done managing in her stead.
"Waitress."
"Yeah, you've still got your uniform, don't you?"
Sawyer could tell from Brady's expression that he realized Erica's error. She turned away from his sympathetic gaze. Her blood ran hot but she kept her expression stone cold. She shook her head slowly, remembering how she'd returned the uniform to the linen closet the day Erica had collapsed-the day she'd a.s.sumed the reins of Drake's. Temporarily, she reminded herself.
"Why wait until Monday, Erica? Why don't you just take over right now?" Sawyer drew the keys to Drake's from her pocket and tossed them on the counter in front of Erica. "I'm done."
She didn't even look at Jori as she headed for the back door, ignoring Erica's confused exclamation and Brady's plea to return and talk about it. Head down, she had the engine of the Solara cranked and her hand on the gear s.h.i.+ft when she heard a knock on the car window. Without looking up, she pressed the b.u.t.ton to roll down the gla.s.s.
"Sawyer, hold on a minute." Jori touched her shoulder.
Her pride only dented but not destroyed, Sawyer held up a hand to silence her. "She's on her own."
"Sawyer-"
"Not now," she snapped. Jori's fi ngers still rested on her * 219 *
shoulder and their warmth seeped through her s.h.i.+rt, making her long to step out of the car and pull Jori into her arms. She wanted so much from Jori. More than she had from anyone in so long, maybe ever. And that thought alone had her searching the street for the quickest escape route.
"Please, talk to me. I know Erica upset you just now."
"I can't talk about that right now."
Jori suspected that Sawyer's behavior wasn't entirely about her anger with Erica. "Are we not okay? Because I thought things were going well with us, and last night was-well, incredible.
Then this morning I woke up and you were gone."
"I need some s.p.a.ce."
"Okay. I'll call you later, and-"
"Jori, I need to sort some things out."
Jori pulled her hand away and stared at Sawyer, confused.
She'd watched Sawyer's enthusiasm for her work at Drake's grow with every day, so despite any pretense to the contrary, she knew Erica's apparent inability to see Sawyer's accomplishments had hurt her feelings. But that didn't explain Sawyer's absence that morning or the distance between them now. She needs s.p.a.ce. Jori could almost manage to deny the trickle of fear at not knowing what "s.p.a.ce" meant for them, but she couldn't ignore the slash of pain in her chest.
She stepped back and was barely clear of the car when Sawyer backed into the street and took off.
Sawyer maneuvered through downtown traffi c more aggressively than she should, ignoring two honking horns and one angry motorist whom she was sure would have fl ipped her off if she'd glanced his way.
Instead, she drove back to her apartment on autopilot while replaying the conversations with both Erica and Jori. Her anger with Erica was easy to fi gure out. Erica always made it plain that she didn't expect too much from her, and then when she didn't put forth the effort to prove her wrong, Erica practically gloated.
What surprised Sawyer more was the hollow feeling in her * 220 *
chest when she thought about Jori. She usually knew when a relations.h.i.+p was about to end. It began as an itch beneath her skin and blossomed into full-blown restlessness eased only when she fi nally broke it off. She had come to expect the rush of relief that followed the last time she saw a woman. But with Jori, she didn't feel any of the usual cues. She was happy when they were together, and when they weren't, Jori was always on her mind, in sweet antic.i.p.ation of when she would see her again.
But that had changed the night before. Jori's murmured declaration of love had been so quiet, Sawyer almost hadn't heard it. As the words sank in, Sawyer's heart had kicked with fear as she realized how much she wanted-no, needed-that love.
Jori had snuggled against her and Sawyer had wished she never had to let her go. Somehow, while she was preoccupied with the pace of life, love had sneaked in on her. She'd barely slept, wanting to ingrain the feel of Jori into her arms, because she knew in the morning she would fl ee. Sawyer simply couldn't bear the knowledge that Jori now had the power to devastate her.
"f.u.c.king coward," she muttered. "Guess I'm job hunting again." In the past, she'd enjoyed the process of looking for a new vocation. Usually, she was tired of what she'd been doing and antic.i.p.ated the promise of starting over. But today felt different, and she refused to examine why.
* 221 *
* 222 *
CHAPTER TWENTY.
Sawyer stood on Brady and Paige's front porch holding a gift bag decorated with a red cartoon sports car. She glanced once more at the driveway. She'd parked behind Erica's Land Rover so she had a pretty good idea what to expect when she got inside. She hadn't spoken to Erica in two weeks, having ignored several phone calls from her.
She knew she was being stubborn and she wasn't ready to give in yet, but she hadn't been able say no when Quintin had called and invited her to his birthday party. So she took a deep breath and pressed the doorbell. Seconds later feet thundered on the other side of the door, and when it swung open Quintin stood there fl anked by his brother and six of their friends.
"Hey there, birthday boy." Sawyer ruffl ed his already mussed hair as she stepped inside.
"Aunt Sawyer, I'm fi ve. I'm catching up to Daniel, he's only six."
Sawyer smiled at his logic. Once again she saw a refl ection of her early relations.h.i.+p with Erica.
"No, you're not, dummy. I'm going to be seven in two months," Daniel a.s.serted, making it clear he wouldn't let his brother pull even with him.
"Don't call your brother a dummy," Paige said as she came * 223 *
from the kitchen. "You boys go play and let Aunt Sawyer come in the house, please."
Sawyer followed Paige into the living room, trying to appear as if she was glancing around casually. Derrick Ames sat at one end of the sofa and Brady in the chair nearby.
"She's in the kitchen." Paige paused as she pa.s.sed Sawyer.
"Why don't you go in there and help her with the cake."
"I don't think-"
"That wasn't a request."
Paige's tone was unexpectedly fi rm, and when Sawyer looked at her, her expression didn't invite argument.
"Yes, ma'am," Sawyer muttered.
Erica was opening a box of birthday candles when Sawyer entered the kitchen, and suddenly Sawyer remembered the day an older boy had asked fi fteen-year-old Erica out. But the Drakes wouldn't let their daughters date until they were sixteen, so they didn't allow her to go.
"It's not fair," Erica had screamed at their mother. "Sawyer's old enough, but she's not pretty, so n.o.body even wants to date her. So why can't I go?"
All these years later, Sawyer recalled this comment and others like it. Now, it seemed ridiculous that she would let Erica's childish frustration color her view of herself. Those three little words, "she's not pretty," had stuck in a soft spot deep inside her and festered for years. And coupled with her confusion about her s.e.xual orientation during that time, Erica's barbs had fed the doubts about her self-worth that grew each time she looked at herself in the mirror.
When she stripped away what she now knew was a normal sibling rivalry, she realized she was stronger than she'd thought.
And she knew she should decide for herself what she wanted for her life, not let Erica's past resentment cripple her.
As Sawyer crossed the room, Erica looked up and paused before she counted out six candles. Sawyer picked one of them * 224 *
up and swirled it between her fi ngers, tracing the spiral grooves carved in the sides.
"You haven't returned any of my calls," Erica said quietly as she sank the candles into the thick white icing on the cake in front of her.
Sawyer shrugged. "I've been busy."
"I wanted to offer you a job."
"You shouldn't have any trouble fi nding another server."
"Oh, I've already hired another server." Erica paused again, and when she spoke apology laced her tone. "But I'm having trouble fi nding a trustworthy manager."
Sawyer knew her astonishment showed on her face. "I don't think me working for you is a good idea."
"You wouldn't be. We'd be working together." Erica held out her hand and Sawyer gave her the candle. "I've had some time to really take in the changes you made at Drake's while I was gone and I'm impressed. The new scheduling system is so much easier. And the CEO of Vesticom called. He wants to make the brunch meetings a quarterly event for his people, and he's reserved the private dining room for an annual employee-appreciation dinner."
"That's nice, but I still don't think us working together is good for either of us."
"It could be. Listen, I'm sorry. I didn't give you enough credit for your hard work, and I've meddled in your life. But you have to know why I've acted this way."
Sawyer did know. But she didn't think it would be easy to break such a long-standing pattern in their relations.h.i.+p.
"So here's my plan. You come back to Drake's, as co-manager, and handle the bulk of the management. I want to split my time between that and the kitchen-with Brady. I know it's not a foolproof solution. You and I will probably still b.u.t.t heads.
But we're family, Sawyer, and if the three of us work together, we could all benefi t. We'd each have a lighter workload and could * 225 *
spend more time away from the restaurant. Since I went back to work, I feel like Paige is raising my daughter, and I'd love to have more time with her."
Sawyer considered Erica's proposal. It had merit, but one big drawback. She would have to face Jori, and she wasn't sure she was up to that yet. Since they last spoke, Sawyer had almost convinced herself they were both better off if they ended it-until she lay down at night and longed for the feel of Jori's soft skin against hers. But, she reminded herself, she'd just decided she would go after what she wanted in her life, and, truthfully, she wanted Jori.
As if reading her mind, Erica said, "And as your fi rst offi cial act as manager, I need you to help me keep my pastry chef."
"Keep your pastry chef?"
"She gave me her resignation letter yesterday."
"What? Why?"
"She wouldn't say, but I suspect it has to do with you. d.a.m.n it, Sawyer, this is why I asked you not to go after her. I knew you would screw up my staff."
Sawyer rolled her eyes at the familiar chord of accusation.
"Okay. I can't change overnight." Erica acknowledged her slide back into their old dynamic. "Just fi x it, please. I don't want her to leave. I'd like it if you two could at least fi nd a way to work together."
Sawyer sighed. "I'll talk to her." Tomorrow.
"Get her to stay," Erica ordered, then her voice gentled. "You really love her, don't you?"
"Yeah. I guess I do."
"Then tell her."
It was certainly the last advice she thought she'd ever get from Erica.
"I know what I said about the two of you. But she's miserable, and you look like you haven't slept in days. Maybe I was wrong.
If there's a chance you can make each other happy-well, you both deserve that."
* 226 *
"She makes me more than happy, Erica." Sawyer searched for the words and fi nally settled on the simplest explanation.
"She fi lls me." That's when she knew she couldn't end things with Jori. For the fi rst time in years, she would risk heartbreak for the chance at happiness.
By the next night Sawyer still didn't know what to say to Jori. She'd rehea.r.s.ed the conversation about a hundred times, trying out every scenario she could think of, from Jori embracing her right away to Jori forcibly throwing her out. Fearful that she would upset Jori, Sawyer decided to wait until after Drake's closed to talk to her. So when she arrived early, she stalled by going to the bar and ordering a beer, which she nursed for the next hour.
The bartender, a slim brunette, leaned against the bar and met her eyes. "Last call, sugar."
"I'm good." The bar area had emptied until Sawyer was the only one still perched on a stool.
"I heard you don't work here anymore."
"Nah, I just took a few days off. I'm back starting Monday."
She rolled the bottom of her empty bottle in slow circles against the scarred mahogany.
"You going to hang around and walk me out?" The brunette winked suggestively.
Sawyer laughed, knowing she was teasing. "Now, I don't think your husband would like that very much."
"No. Probably not."
Sawyer glanced at her watch. "I'll catch you later." She stood and crossed the dining room.
As she walked into the kitchen Chuck, Brady, and Jori looked up. Sawyer saw surprise cross Jori's features, followed by a fl ash of emotion Sawyer couldn't identify, and then her expression went blank. Jori held a sharpening steel in one hand and a large * 227 *