River's End: River on Fire Part 17

Joey's gaze was on her. He nodded and smiled from a distance and she nearly glowed under his approval. Waving his hand in farewell with a final smile, Hailey did the same before she attended to the multiple tasks at hand. She had no idea where to head or what they'd find, but she was sure she could still drive and might have been the only one who was thinking clearly enough to do so. She jogged with Erin and Kailynn to their houses. Finding the keys to the large Suburban, she turned on the ignition of the old vehicle that started after several attempts. She first went to Allison's house and helped her load all of their baby stuff as Allison's tears streamed like a waterfall. She told Hailey softly, "I'm so scared."

Hailey gripped her hand. "We all are."

Nodding, Allison strapped her baby in the car seat and piled in beside her.

Next, they got Kailynn. Carrying just one small bag, she helped her father limp toward the vehicle. She glanced at Hailey with hot tears streaming from her face. Next came Erin, who had Charlie with her, and each one was clutching a bag. Bare-bones necessities. Kate and Cami came running down the road from their house, which was across the street from the ranch. Yep, they too were carrying only one bag each. Hailey's heart ached for all of them as she gripped the steering wheel and hot tears threatened to blur her vision. Her blood, rus.h.i.+ng with adrenaline, made her body tremble. No. She could not succ.u.mb to her own fear. Joey was counting on her to get his family to safety. And that was what she fully intended to do.

Hailey called out, "Is everyone here? Got all the essentials?"

Their choked affirmations were followed by a thick silence that descended upon all of them. Hailey punched the accelerator when she saw the ranch gate up ahead. They could see three men crossing the fields in the distance, herding the frantic horses that kept dancing and galloping erratically together. There were no longer any working sprinklers due to the power outage. The men waved as Hailey drove through the gate, and Hailey thought she might puke. It seemed so final. And so scary. The sky glowed further upriver, a ridge of red that looked like a dark spine running along the mountains. Plumes of black smoke billowed. When the flames finally broke over the crest of the mountain, she fled the ranch. Dust swirled behind her as she sped way too fast on the unpaved road. On the main highway, dozens more cars zoomed by. It was a universal panic flee. They watched the distance growing between the ranch and them as thick smoke hung in the foul air, raining burned bits of the towns and trees already engulfed by the inferno.

Hailey's stomach cramped, and tears flowed amidst intermittent sobs from all the occupants of the overloaded vehicle. Even Rosie, the baby, seemed to sense the tension and remained quiet. Cami cried against Charlie's shoulder. He stared out the window, his face pale and sickly looking.

"It'll be okay," Hailey said to no one in particular, knowing what a useless, stupid plat.i.tude it was. She didn't know what else to do at a time like this. She was the obvious outsider and had the least to lose. But Erin sat across from her in the front seat, and she responded. Wiping away her tears, she smiled and nodded at Hailey. Hailey nodded back.

"Hailey's right. As long as there is one Rydell left breathing, there will always be the Rydell River Ranch."

And with those haunting words, Hailey turned the last corner and the ranch disappeared from the rearview mirror.

Chapter Fourteen.

HAILEY DROVE TO PATTINSON only to find it in a state of complete evacuation too, along with the neighboring golf course community. The only safe place now was the Columbia River, s.h.i.+ning cool and blue against the imminent mushrooming clouds of black smoke.

Darkness was descending rapidly. They drove further down the highway, towards Brewster, unclear where they were going or what they would do when they got there. The Red Cross shelters had already moved forty miles away. When the kids got hungry, food was brought out from some of the bags, along with bottles of water. They pulled into the local high school where firefighters and volunteers from across the state were set up. There were multi-colored tents and a makes.h.i.+ft camp.

They all got out of the Suburban still clutching their meager belongings. Erin recognized a group of women and a rancher. They embraced, crying, eagerly asking each other for any new information. "Where's Jack?"

"He stayed behind," Erin said quietly.

They shook their heads. "d.a.m.n fool."

Erin stiffened her back. "We have forty-plus horses. He couldn't just leave them to... to burn alive."

Hailey offered her hand on Erin's shoulder in support. This wasn't the time for criticism or judgmental comments. The rancher sighed. "It's. .h.i.t Pattinson. At least ten homes burned up, and many more are still in its path. We're on alert here. It now appears to be circling around from the west and south. The Columbia is the only break that can stop the southwestern front right here in its tracks. It's a fifty-mile long firestorm. Never seen anything like it before."

As more neighbors and community members joined their group, that seemed to be the consensus... It was like nothing anybody had ever seen before. They'd all survived wildfires before, even big ones. And a disastrous flood occurred in 1948 as well as plenty of hard winters. This was not a forgiving landscape. But never before had anything destroyed so many affected areas or left such a vast wasteland in its wake.

The fire traveled almost twenty-five miles down the valley before it hit Pattinson, something no one foresaw. That morning, the citizens of Pattinson awoke and believed they were safe and would be okay. From a measly eighteen thousand acres, the blaze grew to an estimated two hundred thousand acres by the day's end. Another town, further up at the north end of the fire, was flattened too.

There was utter confusion. People stood around, staring up at the blazing mountains in awe. They couldn't help gawking at the limitless size and power of the conflagration. Glowing in deep red embers made it even eerier against the night. Some people wailed and cried, while others could only stand in stunned wonder and respect. The kids began to grow frightened. Rosie was long ago snuggled against Allison, and Cami was crying in Kate's arms, becoming hysterical at times for fear that AJ could be in danger. Charlie stood beside Erin, now totally pale and frozen with terror.

"Erin, come, and bring your family. You can stay with us."

Erin nodded and hugged the kind man and woman who offered. Hailey followed her, learning they were cousins of Jack's dad. They were an older couple that lived in a large house with plenty of river front footage on the Columbia River. They gave the family blankets and set up spare beds to use. The fire had been dubbed the River's End Complex fire, owing to the first four places where it ignited just outside of River's End. In only three days, it had obliterated almost four hundred square miles and burnt down more than three hundred homes, not to mention all the outbuildings, shops, and garages. Even the orchards and fields were not wet enough to survive the relentless heat.

There were now almost twenty-nine hundred firefighters working the fire, two hundred and twelve fire engines, and thirteen bulldozers, trying to contain the staggering one hundred eighty-two-mile perimeter. And still they couldn't get any kind of containment accomplished.

They awoke the next morning, after little sleep. The smoke and flames were still glowing red hot above and around Pattinson. It was even visible from the Columbia River, where they quietly shuffled out on the green lawn to watch. All night long, the whirling blades of helicopters hummed above them, scooping giant buckets into the Columbia and filling them with water to drop off on the fire lines. There were so many fire lines and fronts that despite the manpower and all of their most earnest efforts, they made little progress... It was like spitting on a blazing football field to put out the flames. Coffee was being served and they went back in the house to eat breakfast. Quiet filled the room. The fear everyone felt was beyond words.

Then a neighbor Erin knew came to the house with more news. "The north flank of the fire is kicking up again from the wind this morning. They're worried it could swing back around to the valley. It came right down to the edge of River's End last evening... now their primary concern is whether or not it's going to burn up the other side of the river."

A chorus of screams and cries followed his somber news. "That's the ranch," Erin whispered. She fell to her knees. Kailynn rushed forward and they huddled together, crying. Feeling less than useless, Hailey went into the kitchen to help their gracious, life-saving hosts with the food preparation and more drinks. It was the least she could do. Then she offered to run to the local, nearly empty grocery store to scrounge for whatever canned goods were left. Her stomach cramped and bothered her all afternoon as everyone stayed glued to the small, handheld radio provided by their hosts. There was no power and no communication. No internet or phones. It was so odd to be cut off from everything they now needed so badly. Like an island floating in the middle of the Pacific. As if things couldn't get any worse, a bout of diarrhea suddenly hit Hailey and lasted three hours. Her nerves seemed to be eating through her stomach. Mortified, she huddled in the bathroom, but strangely enough, no one noticed. They were all dealing with their own misery and fear. Last night was so creepy, and more traumatic than a horror movie, so how could anyone stand to relive it? What were the chances that a fire could circle back around? It was incomprehensible. It was an insatiable beast, greedy, merciless, and ravenous. There was nothing in its path that it spared. And now? How dare it turn around and come back for more?

Hailey prayed hard, Let Joey be okay. Where was he? Which end of the fire was he stationed on? Its sheer volume was unfathomable. Please let Jack, Ian, Shane, Ben and AJ be okay. Then she remembered Kailynn's brother, who was working for another rancher up in a canyon that fed into the Rydell River when it broke out. Kailynn hadn't heard from him since. It was a depressing cl.u.s.ter-f.u.c.k of intermittent crying, hurting, confusion, fear, and terror. At other times, a deathly silence subdued them. Some tried to play cards, staying sedate, just to keep their minds from driving them crazy with worry. Wondering, dreading, dying... What could be happening at the ranch right now?

Until the all-clear was officially given and the residents were allowed to start filtering back down to the valley and their homes, no one knew what to expect. How many lost everything, and how many were saved or partially salvaged, either by luck, changes in the wind direction, hot-shot fire crews or well-placed backfires, no one knew. The only silver lining so far was there were no injuries or deaths reported. Crossing their fingers, they slowly started to drive up the once familiar road, following its twists and turns as it paralleled the river up the valley.

Their once lush valley was no longer recognizable. All around them was a barren, burning, smoking moonscape of gray ash. Black skeletons of the shade trees, charred corpses of livestock, and fallen power poles, broken and smoking, no more than large torches filled the landscape. There was still no power and no phone lines. They were incommunicado. No words were spoken. Everyone experienced the same sickening shock as the car crept forward. Everyone was hoping that what they would find would be somewhat better than what they pa.s.sed by. Hailey could not think of any words in the English language that could describe the scope or magnitude of what they saw. It was as dead as a moonscape. A barren, lost land, the perfect setting for a zombie movie. Only there was nothing fake about this. They were observing death in its most primal, random, and brutal dimension. Charred trees, dead animals, chimneys from lost houses, burnt out machinery in the outbuildings, and the list went on. What could be left of the home this family had cherished for over a century? What, if anything, remained of the Rydell River Ranch?

Chapter Fifteen.

JOEY WAS RUNNING EXCLUSIVELY on panic and adrenaline. He was so exhausted, he felt like he could've tipped over with only the touch of a feather. Having had very little sleep in the last few days, he was stationed on the north end of the valley, at the furthest northern flank. The last three days and nights tested his endurance. He was digging ditches, cutting brush, and doing everything he could to clear the land around his neighbors' houses as the fires kept approaching ever closer. There wasn't enough. There were not enough men. Not enough equipment. And not enough time. The last report he heard said there were three thousand firefighting personnel and numerous aircraft, including seven UH-60 Black Hawk helicopters from the Was.h.i.+ngton National Guard and a DC-10 air tanker. But it still wasn't enough.

There was so much fire, and far too many houses and other structures, as well as farms and ranches and orchards, the centers of so many families' livelihoods. It seemed so hopeless, like trying to drain all the water out of Lake Superior with a measuring cup. They were completely outsourced; the possibility of prevailing had all but become a bad joke... but still, everyone fought on with whatever they could. Putting out each spark, smoking ember, and smoldering flame, they fought on and on for every inch of their land, and every tree and building in their town.

The communication logistics were complicated. Joey jumped when a hand landed on his shoulder. "Jo?"

He glanced at his friend and neighbor, who lived further up the valley, Claston.

"Yeah?" Joey's voice was gruff and hoa.r.s.e from inhaling so much smoke.

"You need to go home now."

Joey froze and closed his eyes. Claston wasn't suggesting he go home to rest up and regain his health with a nice, refres.h.i.+ng nap. Home. His home.

That had to mean his home was burning.

Claston didn't have to say another word. He just nodded when Joey finally opened his eyes and stared at him in disbelief. Drawing in a breath, he coughed from the added smoke and minute particles already in his ragged, battered lungs.

Joey turned and walked away from the fire line. He was fully excused to leave in order to save his home or mourn its loss.

Heading downriver, he was fortunate to hitch a ride with Sully Riggs, who was driving the newly re-opened main highway. Sully was headed home too, and as anxious as Joey to see if his small mobile home was still standing. Sully lived in the hills right above the ranch. The entire blackened valley glowed in eerie lines that appeared at the top of the ridges and far off mountains. It was all encompa.s.sing, fully encircling them. How the h.e.l.l could all of this, the entire horizon and verdant valley be on fire?

Joey heard it already raced through the town of River's End and reached the edge of every riverfront property of the small town. The only things that held back the ceaseless flames were the green gra.s.s and alfalfa, the fruit trees and diligent work of the firefighters. They swiftly dug out several fire breaks and lit backfires when the main blaze came too close. It was handled superbly, and no structures in the town were lost, despite blackening all the yards and lawns.

River's End fared far better than Pattinson and the golf course. From what he heard, over a hundred homes were destroyed in a strange, haphazard pattern that showed no sense or logic in its madness and fury. One residence was burned to the ground, yet the two homes on either side of it were still standing. In other neighborhoods, entire streets of houses were gone, while the next street over seemed untouched. Random. Beyond anyone's control. Beyond all comprehension. That's what was so cruel about a fierce and brutal fire like this. Any control or containment was beyond the realm of possibility. No matter how hard they tried, they could not make any progress in its repression. No one was immune to this Armageddon.

Joey wanted to believe the ranch was spared. Since it was across the river and that side seemed to avoid the fire storm, maybe... His heart sank as they came to the turnoff from the main road. As they approached the dirt road that led to his home, Joey saw the smoke piles all over their land. Blackened trees, still full of hot embers, sparked and popped under the intense heat. The mountain looked so bare and uninhabitable. Being usually covered in tall, fat sagebrush, wildflowers, and gra.s.ses, there was nothing left alive. Not a single leaf. All of it was incinerated. For miles and miles, as far as they could see down the road and all the way to the top of the mountain to the Horn, every bit of vegetation was gone. Tall pine trees once dotted the land in idyllic random cl.u.s.ters; but now, most were burnt skeletons and some had already fallen to the ground, smoldering piles of ash. Joey knew they would not survive in the years to come; slowly, one by one, they would eventually fall over dead.

Ugly.

That was the only word his head could grasp and cling on to. Not the loss. Or the choking fear of what he would discover, but the shallow realization that the familiar land he so loved, and his family loved as much as if it were their own blood supply, was charred black and barren... ugly.

Taking a deep breath, Joey held it inside his lungs and slowly expelled it, trying to release some of his grief, fear and paralyzing anxiety. He fought the urge to open the truck door and jump out. The impulse to bolt, and never face the horror that now lay before him and his family was so tempting right then. The other urge, which he almost snarled at Sully, was for him to drive the f.u.c.king truck! He was also consumed by an insatiable urge to get there. To see his home. His family's legacy. His former life.

Rounding the corner offered a view of the usually verdant fields of alfalfa and grazing horses that characterized so much of the ranch, Joey was as eager as he was dreading the sight. He could only remember the way the lush foliage swept and rolled in hilly mounds towards the river. And the town of River's End in the distance, splashes of colored dots that identified all the ranches and many of the outbuildings, which always provided a solid, comforting view to Joey. Like tidy decorations adorning the otherwise natural setting.

Now? What he saw now made his breath catch in his chest. f.u.c.k! Just... f.u.c.k! He scratched his head, running his hands through his hair as he bent forward and looked down towards the dirty floorboards of the truck. He shook his head and screamed in silent denial. No...No...NO!

Everything had burned.

The ranch, his family's homestead and life's blood, was burned beyond recognition. Tears streamed down his face. He could not stop them as his mouth dropped open in staggering wonder. The river flashed a reflection, and he turned to see it was still blue and flowing, like a mocking reminder of what once stood beside it. And once existed for more than one hundred years only half an hour before.

The fire first attacked the horse pastures. On a field that was deliberately left unplanted to rest, which was part of their normal farming practice, there was nothing growing yet to replenish it. Left unwatered, it was drier than the rest of the field and mostly black now. Smoke continued to rise up like a giant, steaming pile of horse s.h.i.+t in the hot, dry sun. Only it wasn't horse s.h.i.+t, it was what used to be his home.

Sully kept driving, and thankfully, didn't comment. He knew better than to offer ridiculous plat.i.tudes. He respected Joey and allowed him his tears without breaking the ensuing silence. He accelerated the truck once more and they slowly proceeded. They found the spot where the fire had jumped the river, another surprise that no one ever considered happening. A swath of ditch line that was dry funneled right onto their land. That was the path the fire followed. As they started down the main driveway, the huge gates and signs that once hung above the resort driveway and the ranch were gone. Only the metal screws remained, the single trace that they ever existed.

Sully stopped the truck and all Joey could do was stare; he was stunned. He grabbed the door handle finally and stepped out of the truck. Stumbling in his grief, he fell to his knees and forced his sad eyes to a.s.sess the broken, ruined, burnt remains of his family's precious house. His parent's house, his grandparent's house, Jack's house... Ian's house... Shane's house... his house.

All gone.

He never once considered the possibility that the ranch house would burn. How could this have happened? They were always so careful to keep it surrounded in lush, green alfalfa and irrigated orchards. How did the fire manage to extend its disastrous arms so far? But he knew the reason why. All the sparks and embers blew on the gusting wind, drifting a half mile before dropping down to start new fires on the rooftops and eaves of buildings that otherwise could not have been touched. It could not have been avoided in any way because it was totally unforeseeable. Never having had such a fire as this before, no one could have predicted its direction or progress. Not only in River's End, but the entire state for that matter.

All that was left were the black, smoking, smoldering embers of the Rydell family's entire life and business. Miscellaneous household items were nearly unrecognizable in all the torched refuse that littered the site. The chimney, that beautiful, river-rock, huge fireplace that rose up two and a half stories was all that still stood of his family's household.

A collective gasp filled the entire van as the women and kids, evacuees (who knew Hailey could ever be called such a thing) became a horrified chorus. Everyone gaped in breathless alarm at the burned, flattened, debris-laden, smoking expanse that was once the setting for a beautiful house, a home, a family business, a resort, and a ranch.

Their cry of dismay was almost instantaneous once they rounded the last corner. Erin's hand covered her open mouth and she screeched and shuddered, her eyelids full of tears and nearly blinding her. Luckily, Hailey was the driver; no one else could have handled that task. Allison, Kailynn, Kate, Cami, and Charlie all groaned in unison as they moaned and covered their eyes.

"Oh, Jack..." Erin kept mumbling while shaking her head. "Oh, Jack..." Her mumbling was scaring Charlie, judging by the paleness of his face. His eyes grew huge and hollow as he stared at Erin while she continued chanting. Finally, she leaned forward, clutching her middle with despair. "The house. Oh, G.o.d, our house. I never believed it could burn..."

She was sounding almost incoherent as she added, "I thought maybe a barn, or an outbuilding, a dry field... but not the house. Not the Rydell house."

"Our house," Charlie said softly.

Erin stilled as she swiftly turned to Charlie and clutched his hand. "Our house." She almost choked on the words.

Hailey bit her lip. Her own eyes filled with streaming tears. Who wouldn't have cried? Conflicting emotions of compa.s.sion, anger, grief, and horror choked her and she was at a total loss for words. She could not believe all the pain she saw around her.

Allison gasped, "Our home... our house..."

Hailey stared up towards the orchard where Allison was looking, and sure enough, she saw another smoking, empty lot right next to the orchard. The orchard was still standing, but burned and singed all along the rows that hugged the road and the river. The center, however, seemed green still. Allison clasped Rosie against her shoulder. She was sound asleep in her car seat, but Allison seemed to need her now as hot tears streamed over her face and she stared up in utter desperation at where her house once stood.

Everyone murmured as they cried over the terrible, unending, pervasive loss. Then they rounded another corner and came to the driveways... and more signs of ruin.

"That sign, the one that says the Rydell Ranch, hung here for over a hundred years. The original settlers of this place hung it. It survived all these years and now..." Erin whispered, interrupting herself with another bout of tears.

They all s.h.i.+vered.

Kate gasped when she saw the land she owned with AJ down the road from the main gate. Their manufactured home had simply exploded. It looked as if it just popped. Bizarre pieces of metal and plastic littered the ground, although the twin propane tanks were still standing eerily in place. Allison gripped Kate's hand and Kate swallowed and shook her head. She wiped her eyes, but ignored her own grief in favor of Cami, who was already whimpering softly. She took the teen into her arms and Cami buried her face against Kate's chest. Kate glanced around, her tears aching to fall, but knowing she had to remain strong. She shook her head and Hailey compared her helpless gesture to the chaos. The surrealistic sight was incredulous to all of them. So much was gone. The burden of comprehending how much was lost made Hailey's head hurt. She was incapable of picturing how much damage they were dealing with.

Kate rocked Cami gently as Cami sobbed in heartbreaking whimpers. She was no more than a lost little girl in a teenager's body. "Our house... oh, my G.o.d, Kate. It was everything. My-my pictures... Mom... I didn't think to take them... I just thought... oh, G.o.d. Her-"

Hailey's own tears were nearly suffocating her. A sob escaped her lips and she turned her head away and stared harder out the winds.h.i.+eld, gripping the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white. Feeling overwhelmed by all the blackened debris and smoke as more of it entered her ragged senses, she began to feel like everything was suffocating her. Cami's mother was dead, which was why she first came to the ranch. AJ was her dad, whom she had known nothing about previously, and Kate was a complete stranger. Nothing could replace whatever memory she retained of her mother.

Kate pushed Cami's face into her chest as she shushed and rocked her, patting her back and rubbing her matted, bedraggled dreadlocks.

"Shh, baby girl. We'll rebuild all of it. Like we always planned to. We'll just be doing it sooner now. Don't worry; it'll be okay. I have some things in my office. It's okay, it'll be okay..." On and on, Kate soothed Cami. Hailey's arms ached to console the crying teen and she wished for her own teen to be there. Of course, Brianna's loss was different from Cami's, but Hailey considered her own teen's grief every bit as valid as Cami's. Brianna lost the family she needed and cherished and couldn't realize it was disintegrating until it was already transparent to everyone else.

There was no consolation to be found. Everyone lost everything. Kailynn gripped the armrest, sobbing intermittently as she embraced Erin in her arms. Her face was pale, and her brother, Caleb, was still unaccounted for. Her worry was real and evident in her eyes.

As they drove further onto the Rydells' land, they all eagerly looked towards the cl.u.s.ter of houses down by the river.

Sniffs and sighs escaped multiple lips. It was impossible to decipher who said what. "The houses are still there."

Joey's house was still standing. And Shane's shop. Even the main barn and arena.

"Oh, no, even the cabins..." Allison pointed upriver. The upper half of resort cabins had burned, as they were closest to the swath of burnt sagebrush, and not the green fields of alfalfa. The fire followed the river, burrowing below the cabins and ruining all the lovely stairs and walkways. "So much was lost..."

"So much was spared..."

Hailey turned towards Kate's quiet statement. Kate bravely squared her shoulders, still gripping her sobbing stepdaughter. She met Hailey's eyes, Allison's, Erin's and finally, Kailynn's. "All of our lives were spared. Our homes can be rebuilt. We know AJ, Jack, Ian, and Shane are safe and accounted for."

Joey wasn't mentioned. No one had heard from him in hours.

"Look."

They all got out of the van and looked towards where Erin was pointing. Up on the road towards where Shane and Allison's house once stood, were four male figures. They were just standing there against the backdrop of gloom and doom.

Erin cried out. "It's Jack, Ian, Shane... and thank G.o.d. Joey."

Hailey's heart nearly stopped and started. She hadn't realized how consuming her stark fear for his safety had become. But there they were, up on the road, surveying their land and all of the destruction, the Rydell brothers.

Tears flowed in everyone's eyes again as they stared up at them with long sighs of relief. Hailey fell to her knees and then on her hands as she rocked herself, her shuddering tears blinding her as she embraced her joy. The loss, all the losses, mainly other people's but also her own. Life was so unfair and hard and random and chaotic. She'd never seen so much devastation as she did today. Cami caught her attention. She was crying hysterically after losing the only memories she had of her dead mother. Charlie was staring around, looking disoriented and confused. His lips trembled and his hollow, empty eyes regarded all the male figures that he'd looked up to all of his life. The ones who were supposed to protect him, and keep him safe... and stop his home from burning to the ground.

Hailey stayed on all fours as she released her wracking sobs. She was crying for Brent, Brianna, and Jacob and the home she lost.

It all seemed to converge into one huge expulsion that she had no idea was coming. The homes... the lives that were ruined... the pointlessness of it all... the horror... and finally, the relief she felt in knowing that Joey Rydell was still alive.

A pair of hands landed on her shoulders, pulling her up. Strong, capable, grown up hands. She turned and found Joey, who held her as she pushed her upper body against his chest. She let her tears fall as he held her tightly, his lips brus.h.i.+ng over her hair. He was talking to her gently, in soft whispers. She lifted her face and observed the area around her. Everywhere she saw couples embracing, crying, and clutching each other. The sheer ma.s.s of them made her react even harder. There was so much pain and so much loss. How could anyone not be crying in the face of such a disaster? Overwhelmed. Grief-stricken. And numb.