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"For a tea?" she asked. "A--a large one?"
She spoke with forced calmness, but her hands had the artist's flutter, the enthusiast's eagerness to be doing.
"I'll get samples," she went on; "there's not a minute to be lost; not-- one--moment! I'll work all night rather than fail her. You will not wish"--she dismissed us abruptly--"to go with me to the shops?"
"No; Miss Wins.h.i.+p attracts too much attention."
Alas, it's true! It has become an ordeal for me to venture into a shop.
But what a blessed thing if my beauty should bring success and ease to this poor, struggling little widow--just by my wearing a dress she has made! Oh, she'll not be the only one! What if Kitty sometime wins fame by painting my picture, or Cadge by writing of me in her "Recollections?" Why shouldn't I inspire great poems and n.o.ble deeds and fine songs, like the famous beauties Miss Coleman told about? Yes, even more than they; there was not one of them all like me!
Next evening when Aunt brought the samples upstairs, I was reading to the Judge in the library, and the others were listening as if stocks and bonds were more fascinating than romances.
"Shall we pray for a second Joshua, arresting the sun, pending deliberation?" asked Uncle, displeased at the interruption.
"Why, Bake, there's scarcely ten days, and how we'd feel if Nelly didn't look well!" cried Aunt Frank; and we all broke out laughing at the bare idea of my looking ill!
"I never saw any one to whom dress mattered so little," Aunt Marcia said, as she folded up her silk knitting. "But Mrs. Edgar insists upon her four fittings like any Shylock haggling for his pound of flesh; it is written in the bond."
When she had trotted away home with her prim elderly maid, like a pair out of "Cranford," Ethel made an impressive announcement:--
"The General will pour."
"Returned hero from the Philippines?"
"Oh, dear, no. Meg Van Dam could face Mausers, but a Red Cross bazaar was as near as she got to the war. We call her the General because--oh, you'll find out. Meg is Mrs. Robert Van Dam."
"Oh, I think I've seen that name in the papers. Aren't they grand people?"
"Why, yes; rather; we don't know the Van Dams; Meg's only just married.
You might have read about her mother-in-law, Mrs. Marmaduke Van Dam, or her aunt-in-law, Mrs. Henry Van Dam, or Mrs. Henry's daughters; the family's a tribe. But Meg, why, we went to school with Meg; she's just the General."
My dress came home to-night--white and dainty. Ah, at last I've something to wear that's not "good" and "plain" and "durable"! But there was an outcry, as there has been at every fitting, because I won't wear stays.
Eccentric, they call me; as if Nature and beauty were abnormal!
When I was arrayed in it, Aunt and Ethel led me to the library for Uncle's inspection.
"Is to-morrow the day set to exhibit to Helen other aspects of New York than the scholastic?" he asked, looking up from his paper. "The first appearances of a young girl in modern society are said to be comparable with a 'Looking Over by the Pack,' as described by Mr. Kipling. May Mrs.
Baloo and Mrs. Bagheera and Mrs. Shere Khan have good hunting to-night, and be kind to-morrow to our womanling."
"Why, Bake, you know just as well as I do there aren't any such people coming. I believe it's just one of your jokes," sputtered Aunt. "Nelly, dear, turn slowly round."
She had dropped on her knees beside me, busy with pins and folds, and Joy was lisping the caution, born perhaps of experience, "Don't you thoil it, Cothin Nelly, or Nurthey'll vip you," when Milly came into the library; and with her was Mr. Hynes.
"Lovely! Isn't it, Ned?" cried Milly. "It's for to-morrow."
Mr. Hynes scarcely glanced at the dress, then looked away again, with indifference that somehow hurt me.
"Very pretty," he said languidly. "Cla.s.sic, isn't it? By the way, Judge, I think you'd be interested--"
And then he began to tell Judge Baker about some horrid auction sale of old books!
I was surprised. I couldn't account for it. To hide my disappointment--for I do want to look my best to-morrow, and then everybody has taken so much pains---I bent over Joy, tying and untying the ribbons that held the rings of soft hair in front of her ears.
"Thop, Cothin Nelly; you hurt!" she screamed.
As soon as I could, I ran to take off the dress. How could Aunt so parade me? Of course the women Mr. Hynes knows must have all their dresses from city dressmakers.
But I believe, after all, he did notice, for I saw him colour before he turned sharply away. To please Milly, he might at least--
He called the dress cla.s.sic; it's just long, soft folds without messy tr.i.m.m.i.n.gs; and, oh, it's not vanity to peep at myself again and again and to dream of to-morrow. I'm gloriously, gloriously beautiful! If John comes to-morrow, I do hope he'll wear gloves. He has good hands, too; well-shaped--
Why, of course; Mr. Hynes must admire me.
CHAPTER III.
SNARLING AT THE COUNCIL ROCK.
Jan. 10.
To-day has been heaven!
There was a famous lawyer among Aunt's guests and a United States Senator and a real author, a woman who has written books; but people brushed past them all for a word with me!
And I'm going to the Opera! I shall sit in a box. Mrs. Van Dam says I'll make the sensation of the season! I'm going to the Opera!
When men came this morning with palms and flowers to decorate the house, I ran off to the Park. I did almost run, really. There was a song at my lips: "Gladdest, oh, gladdest, most beautiful in the world; blessed, most blessed, most beautiful in the world!" and the "tap-tap" of horses' feet on the asphalt, the "b-r-r-r-rp" of the cable cars and the rattle of elevated trains kept time, until all the city seemed ringing with my joy.
I know it's foolish; if I had been beautiful from my childhood; if I could have grown up to think of it as a matter of course; if I had been used to the awe of men and women's envy, I might think less about it, might even fancy that I would have preferred learning or wealth--for we all love what we have not. But now--it is so new, so marvellous!
I had plenty of things to think about when I could calm myself. Only yesterday I'd had a long talk with Prof. Darmstetter.
"The experiment is not yet complete," he declared. He had asked me to stay for--but that is a part of the secret which is to pa.s.s with this record from me to all women.
"You are beautiful," he said; "mein Gott, yes! More beautiful t'an any ot'er voman since t'e appearance of man on eart'. But perfectly beautiful?
I do not know; I t'ink not yet. Who can tell for v'at ultimate perfection Nature destined t'e human body? But we shall see. T'at perfection you shall reach. In a veek, a mont', t'ree mont's--I cannot tell. Ve must vait and experiment and still vait, but success is a.s.sured--absolute success. I shall gif it. I do not know if t'e human type is t'e highest t'at eart' is capable of supporting, but it is t'e highest present type, and it shall be my vork to gif it t'at for v'ich it has hungered and t'irsted, and towards v'ich slowly it has groped its vay; it shall be my vork to gif humanity beauty and perfection."
The light that illumined his yellow, wrinkled face made me cry out:--
"All the world will bless you! All women will be grateful as I am grateful--"
"Ach!" he snapped with a sudden change of countenance. "I shall be von more name and date to make harter t'e student's lessons and longer t'e tables--t'at is grat.i.tude! Vit' t'e vorld we haf at present no concern.
For t'is, indeed, you bless me--t'at I am not a quack to make public an incomplete discofery, for ot'er quacks to do mischief. You are glad t'at it is vit' you alone I concern myself. But you are not grateful; you are happy because I say t'at you shall be yet more beautiful; t'at is not grat.i.tude. You might--"
At the eager shrillness of his voice I drew a step away.
"Indeed I'm grateful, whether you believe it or not!" I cried. "You think all women so selfis.h.!.+ Of course I'm glad that I alone am in the secret, but you proposed it yourself, and I rejoice as much as you do that some day--by and by--other women will be happy as I am happy--"