His Noble and Righteous Route to the Harem Volume 1 Chapter 3

And so, without any huge mishaps, a month pa.s.sed by since the tranquil Kingdom of Rhodesia welcomed the gorgeous princess from the northern empire.

During that time, in the castle–

“The Fried Mullet Incident” (Over the course of twenty minutes, the queen reproached the king for eating a fried mullet from its head.)

“The King’s Red Vest Incident” (The queen laughed scornfully at the king’s new red tunic, comparing it to the cra.s.sness typical of a nouveau riche’ dumb son.”

“Lambda’s Necklace Incident” (The queen gave her amethyst necklace, a gift from the king, to her horse Lambda.)

“Kiki’s Red Vest Incident” (The queen gazed at Kiki, her pet white monkey, and said, “Really now, you’re such a dope.” after putting a red vest just like the King’s on her pet.)

And so on. Many small incidents between the king and the queen transpired, and whenever one came up, both inside and outside the castle,

“His Majesty is so pitiful!”

There would be a ma.s.sive chorus. And young girls would be especially indignant at the queen,

“I can’t believe that cold and cruel queen. Just this morning in the corridors, when His Majesty walked by from the other end, she stared at His Majesty with a face cold enough to start a snowstorm. When the kind His Majesty asked, ‘Morning. How are you feeling?’ with a refres.h.i.+ng smile, she responded, ‘I was feeling fine until just now, but now I don’t feel well.’ with a cold voice!”

“How terrible!”

The maids working at the castle would pause in their cleaning and raise voices of sympathy one after the other.

“Why does Her Majesty treat His Majesty so coldly? Even though His Majesty is so wonderful.”

“I know. His Majesty’s golden hair and green eyes are dreamy and his personality is bright and kind as well. Even though His Majesty is the ideal husband.”

“I bet she thinks that a half-commoner man doesn’t even count as human when compared to her high blood as the daughter of an emperor. Don’t act like you’re all that when you’ve never even peeled an egg yourself!”

“Even though if I was His Majesty’s wife, I would cherish His Majesty.”

“Me too. I’d never be sarcastic nor would I glare at His Majesty. I would kindly listen to what His Majesty has to say, offer him my knees to rest his head on, peel an apple then feed it to His Majesty’s mouth… I want to become His Majesty’s sanctuary–”

“Me too–!”

Mixed among the maids was a tall girl wearing a knight’s uniform feeling fidgety. Her long black hair was tied into a single bun atop her head and she had a crisp and earnest-looking face. She is the female knight Evelyn. Due to her gallant looks and caring personality, she was relied upon by the maids. Since King Ludwik took the throne, she’s mixed in with the maids’ chitchat even more often than before.

Even so, she doesn’t proactively join in on the conversations. Rather, she simply listens in on “The Latest News on King Ludwik” that the maids share and secretly resented the queen’s cold att.i.tude.

Evelyn reveres King Ludwik like a G.o.d.

During the coronation parade, Evelyn was managing the crowd of spectators when she fell from her horse. Of all things, she rolled over in front of His Majesty’s carriage disgracefully and was about to die from the shame and pity when His Majesty personally got off the carriage and approached her, asking

—Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself somewhere?

gently as His Majesty looked upon her with refres.h.i.+ng green eyes.

Since then, to Evelyn who swore absolute devotion to King Ludwik, seeing His Majesty abused by the queen vexed her so much it was like her stomach was being eaten away.

(If—just if, I was His Majesty’s lover)

Being hooked along by the maids’ delusions, Evelyn felt her cheeks burn as she opened her eyes wide and inflated her cheeks.

(W-what am I thinking. My duty is to serve the king as a knight beyond the question of gender. To begin with, for someone like me whose family just recently gained influence, the difference in status between me and His Majesty is– but, compared to that treacherous queen I can better understand and console His Majesty… No, I mustn’t think such insolent thoughts–.)

Evelyn’s face got hotter and hotter and her heart beat stronger and faster, to the point where it felt like others would be able to hear it.

“I-I-I-I-I-I-It’s about time for me to return to the order of knights.”

She left the maids’ gathering.

On the other hand, at the salon where the daughters of n.o.blemen gather to mingle–

“It’s only a matter of time before Her Majesty returns home.”

Therese, the eldest daughter of the Falma Family, one of the Three Grand Duchies of Rhodesia, sat on a soft sofa as she opened a feathered fan in front of her shallow b.r.e.a.s.t.s and glowed in satisfaction.

Therese, who had her ruby-red hair curled floridly, was raised to become the queen.

Her nose is elegant and tall, her lips full and pompous, her waist slim and slender. Only her b.r.e.a.s.t.s were a bit flat and lonely, but to Therese who habitually states that women with big b.r.e.a.s.t.s are vulgar and vapid, it wasn’t a problem at all.

That my b.r.e.a.s.t.s are somewhat small isn’t even worth troubling myself over when I have such high blood and am this beautiful and exceedingly refined.

That’s right. I don’t lose even when compared to the queen.

“As expected, a bride from a foreign country both thinks and behaves differently, so there’s bound to be a clash. I feel so sorry for His Majesty.”

She said in an affected show of sympathy, but the shape of her mouth was completely loose.

“It’s just as you say Miss Therese–.”

Therese’s groupies, fellow daughters from n.o.ble families, agree with her.

“The one befitting His Majesty who was born and raised in Rhodesia is Miss Therese, a fellow Rhodesian who hails from a nationally famous family.”

“If Princess Katerina divorces His Majesty and returns to Endra, the next queen is bound to be Miss Therese.”

Therese slackened the area around her mouth and on the surface warned “You’re jumping ahead of yourselves.”, but inside her heart she was already visualizing the wedding program.

(It must be grander than Queen Katerina’s ceremony. The cathedral in which Queen Katerina and His Majesty held their ceremony is ominous, so we’ll do it in a church connected to my family. As for season, spring would be good. The petals of bluebell flowers shall cover the floor generously. Oh my, the spring of next year is just the blink of an eye away.)

I wonder if I should start moving things forward now. As Therese thought it over, she picked up an apple tart and put it in her mouth, narrowing her eyes at the refres.h.i.+ng taste.

“Ahh, it’s completely autumn now isn’t it?”

Meanwhile, the king’s close aide Adelheid made a grimace with her elegant face.

“Things are excee–dingly bad.”

As soon as she entered the king’s office, she entered into lecture mode against Ludwik.

“At this point, everyone in the country is aware of the discord between Your Highness and Her Majesty. The young maidens working inside the castle are clamoring that they want to be Sire’s lover in Her Majesty’s stead. It’s only been a month since the marriage, but there are already rumors that the divorce is only a matter of time, which are making the citizens feel anxious.”

Ludwik put his hand against his temples as if he was enduring a headache as he sits on his office chair.

“If the two of you don’t get along, it will increase the strength of Duke Walter’s faction. In particular, the influence of the merchant Elmond has been rising rapidly recently. He’s spent a lot of money in contributions to Duke Walter. It’s becoming a problem.”

In short, from a political standpoint as well, Ludwik and Queen Katerina must achieve a harmonious relations.h.i.+p.

“I doubt the Endrish Emperor, who gifted to our country his precious daughter, would be pleased to learn that the princess is being slighted.”

“I know, Adelheid. Even I’m doing my best as well, like the hero of antiquity who forced the giants to retreat to the spirit world in the forest. But, I’m on the verge of death after having my heart smashed over and over again by the mace with thorns of ice that the king of giants, Barbaros, wields.”

“In other words, Sire is saying that Sire still hasn’t properly become husband and wife with Her Majesty, right?”

Ludwik sighed in response to Adelheid’s point.

“How are we supposed to become husband and wife when she won’t even let me enter her room? Are you going to tell me to consummate the marriage forcefully in the courtyard in broad daylight? If I tried that I think I’d be stabbed with the ancestral sword she secretly brought along with her. Moreover, rumors that the Rhodesian king isn’t just a country b.u.mpkin but even a rapist would spread you know.”

Ludwik had expected that they could become a happy couple with time after the episode where he comforted the queen on their wedding night and she became beet red when she woke up the next day.

But then he was banned from entering her room, glared at with chilling eyes at every turn, and slighted in both overly perfect Dahl and cold Endrish. The wall of ice surrounding the queen continues to become taller and thicker day by day.

On rare occasions, Queen Katerina would glance towards him for just a moment with upturned eyes as if worried that she went too far. When that happened,

(This person is just awkward isn’t she. She’s actually a gentle and delicate girl underneath it all.)

Ludwik would make wishful interpretations again like this, but then Queen Katerina would immediately turn her head to the side even more sharply than usual.

“Corell dela polesé (This is why I hate b.u.mpkins.)”

She would say with a cold voice, turning his hopes to dust.

(I don’t want to say bad things about the person who became my wife, but could it be that Queen Katerina has a bad personality? Isn’t that why she remained an unsold leftover until the age of seventeen despite being the princess of a great empire?)

Ludwik suspects that this is what Adelheid was going to mention about the princess that time before the wedding when she started to say something only to stop herself and change the subject.

That the princess has a problematic personality–.

“In any case, so long as she continues to hate me as a b.u.mpkin that was raised as a commoner, things won’t improve regardless of how hard I try.”

“As one who serves Sire, I find that exceedingly vexing. Even though Sire is a gentleman whom one can’t find fault with whether it be personality or looks–”

Adelheid gently narrows her eyes.

“However, if we don’t immediately turn things around, girls who aspire to be Sire’s lover might sneak into Sire’s room. The other day, I received a report that a silhouette seeming to belong to that of a young girl was climbing a tree in the courtyard at night from a soldier on guard.”

“S-something like that happened?…!”

As Ludwik tightened his voice, that he witnessed a suspicious person trespa.s.s into the queen’s room from a tree branch through the window crossed the corner of his mind, but he is pulled back by Adelheid’s words.

“As such, how about we start by having Her Majesty understand Sire’s charm points?”

The next day, in the afternoon.

“……”

“……”

On top of the terrace illuminated by the gentle Autumn sunlight, Ludwik and Queen Katerina sat facing each other.

Each had a sketchbook on top of one’s knees. The one who prepared this is Adelheid.

“Starting now, I’d like to have the two of Your Highnesses draw each other’s portrait.”

She announces with a nice and cool voice.

Your Highnesses need to spend some time together as a couple. Accordingly, how does cultivating a shared hobby sound? His Majesty is very talented at drawing. I’m sure His Majesty can depict Madam’s beauty fully without losing a single detail.

–Women’s hearts flutter when they learn of talents men have that they didn’t expect. If Sire can make an appeal of Sire’s artistic cultivation, I think Her Majesty’s impression of Sire as an uneducated b.u.mpkin will change as well.

Adelheid had said that to him.

(It’s true that I’m good at drawing portraits of women.)

That Ludwik was a sensation for drawing female customers dressed up in his sketchbook during his time serving customers in the castle town must not have escaped Ludwik’s capable grand chamberlain.

The girls would gaze at Ludwik, who ran his colored pencils across his sketchbook, with glittering eyes, and when he showed them the finished sketch their eyes and cheeks would light up even more.

Ludwik’s dream was to make Rhodesia into a country filled with beautiful women by picking out clothes that pull out the girls’ glamor.

(If I were to pick out clothes for the queen… I would capitalize on her elegant and slender figure with a simple top– one that would fit her torso and arms snugly… the collar would have a bit of height, and the chest area would be open to the extent just before it becomes coa.r.s.e. In contract, from the waist down it would be fluffy… Oh yeah, I should layer several transparent cloths on top of each other and shape them like flower petals. As for the color… it would have to be white after all. It would help bring out the beauty of her violet eyes and golden hair. Her hair would be done up in a sidetail and the ends curled lavishly… a pearl barrette would compliment her hair nicely.)

To begin with she’s as beautiful as a fairy queen, so there’s plenty of worth in dressing her up. The image in Ludwik’s mind steadily becomes clearer and more detailed.

Ahh, the queen truly is beautiful.

I want to make her prettier and prettier. I want to help her s.h.i.+ne as a woman.

Halfway through, Ludwik became engrossed in his work and moved his hand about as he cycled through the colored pencil in use one after the other.

At first, Princess Katerina frowned as though she felt ill at ease, but seeing Ludwik run myriad colored pencils across his sketchbook, her expression turned to that of curiosity as she glanced over here and there.

“It’s complete.”

Ludwik relaxes his shoulders and reveals his sketch of Queen Katerina wearing an elegant white dress, upon which

“How beautiful! It’s the spitting image of a fairy queen wearing a dress made of light.”

Adelheid lauded in a loud voice. Queen Katerina’s cheeks flushed red as a look of entrancement surfaced on her violet eyes.

(It seems she’s taken with the sketch.)

As Ludwik unconsciously slackened his cheeks, his eyes met with hers, upon which she displayed a countenance of sudden realization. She lowered her eyes and bit her tongue as if weakened, after which she abruptly pouted her lips and raised her eyebrows as she began to sketch Ludwik’s face with a fearsome force.

(mm…? Her strokes seem to be rather violent though. I wonder what her sketch of me looks like…)

(I wonder how I look in her eyes. Even if I don’t look like an Adonis to her, I’d be happy if she draws me with a pleasant face.)

Curious, Ludwik casually rises slightly from the bench and pushes his hands against the table as he leans forward and peeks at where Queen Katerina’s hands are.

Upon which–

(T-this is supposed to be me!?)

What was drawn is a fiendish man with eyes slant to the point of caricature and his mouth wide open like a roaring beast.

“My face doesn’t look like that!”

It was so mean that Ludwik couldn’t help but protest, upon which Queen Katerina answered flatly,

“I only drew what I see.”

You’re saying this is what you see? While absorbing the shock, Ludwik protests further.

“My eyebrows aren’t so bushy, and aren’t the eyes too slanted? Besides, what’s with the fire coming out of my mouth? And this head that’s twice the size of the body makes no sense considering the human form, and this face is impossible for a human as well.”

“Have you never looked in a mirror before? This is what your face looks like.”

“I don’t spew fire from my mouth.”

“The ugliness of your heart is embodied on your face.”

“Are you saying my true character is that of a fire breathing monster?”

As the mood soured, Adelheid cut in.

“Are Your Highnesses thirsty? I’ve prepared some tea expressly imported from the East, so please take a break and enjoy it.”

Queen Katerina turned to the side in a huff.

With an awkward air between the two as usual, they pick up their respective tea cups and drink the tea. Ludwik thought the taste is rather peculiar; it’s awfully sweet with a bitter aftertaste. Queen Katerina is furrowing her eyebrows as well.

“How is it?”

Adelheid asks in a nice and cool manner.

“I-it has a very complex taste doesn’t it?”

“……”

“In that case, please drink some more.”

Adelheid fills her cup a second time.

Queen Katerina cringed her face as she drank three full cups of the tea. Perhaps she doesn’t dislike the taste despite her expression after all?

(I can’t believe she can drink something this nasty–…)

As Ludwik gazed at Queen Katerina, her neck suddenly dropped violently to one side.

She managed to lift her head back up, but her head begins to sway again.

She put her right hand to her forehead looking ill.

On the other hand, Ludwik also began to feel somewhat fuzzy within his chest. Furthermore, his head began to feel hazy as if lost in a mist.

(What’s wrong with me. My body feels hot suddenly.)

Queen Katerina looks like she’s in pain, squeezing her eyebrows together and opening her mouth slightly. Her expression appears quite erotic to Ludwik, making his heart jump in alarm.

(W-what is this! Why is seeing the queen suddenly making my heart flutter?)

Though he was sullen from having been drawn like the atrocious criminal in a wanted poster just before, to feel his heart pitter-patter for her like this now is abnormal.

However, seeing Queen Katerina’s pant slightly while her white cheeks gradually redden into a blush, Ludwik feels his heart start to beat even more tempestuously.

“Oh my, Madam. What’s the matter?”

Adelheid asks, upon which Queen Katerina murmurs in a hoa.r.s.e voice,

“Haree… Zlocia (I suddenly… feel ill).”

Perceiving sensuality in her frail voice, Ludwik feels even more and more flurried, upon which

“That’s not good. Well then, Sire, please escort Madam to her room.”

“Why don’t you call a maid? Besides, I also feel ill…”

The fuzziness in his chest and the dizziness in his head intensifies, along with which the queen also became more and more bewitching.

“Is that so? Then before Sire feels any worse, Sire must escort Madam to her room as her husband.”

Adelheid advises persistently.

Ludwik felt ill enough that he didn’t have the energy to defy Adelheid, and also considering that Queen Katerina does seem to be in very bad shape, he stayed silent without complaining.

“Well now, Sire.”

Urged by Adelheid, Ludwik ended up taking Queen Katerina to her room.

The distance from the courtyard terrace to Queen Katerina’s room is short, but as both of their strides are staggering, if they don’t support each other they’ll end up falling over.

“D…Don’t touch me, please.”

“But if I don’t support you, you’ll collapse.”

“I can walk by myself.”

“Look at how you’re staggering.”

“That’s you.”

As the two repeat such exchanges, they arrive in front of her room.

Though he received a perpetual ban from entering her room,

“It’s an emergency so I’m entering.”

He opens the door without waiting for a reply.

Perhaps feeling too bothered to speak, Queen Katerina doesn’t say anything. On the contrary, she’s grasping tightly onto Ludwik’s clothes and leaning against him.

Just now, Ludwik incidentally realized that this was the first time he touched her body.

The wedding kiss was a miss due to her dodging her head to the side. Their wedding night consisted of the queen crying on the bed and Ludwik saying, “Don’t worry, I won’t do anything.” and eagerly comforting her until she ended up falling asleep from fatigue, after which he pulled the comforter over her body and gazed at her face made wet by tears.

Having a girl who until then had glared at him with eyes full of caution look so fragile with her eyes closed, Ludwik felt his heart skip a beat and thought that he wanted to protect her. He thought that when she wakes up, he ought to greet her, eat a warm breakfast with her, and discuss how they want their married life to be together.

Ludwik believed that things would definitely go well.

Ludwik had experienced with his beautiful new wife a wedding night that felt tranquil, yet awfully bittersweet and ticklish to the heart.

Things didn’t go as expected though…

(I wonder if our relations.h.i.+p would be different now if I had redone the wedding kiss properly and consummated our marriage on the wedding night without saying something naive like “I won’t do anything.”)

Ludwik thought about such things with his wavering mind.

It might be because he could see Queen Katerina, who is grasping tightly onto his s.h.i.+rttail with her slender fingers, as a fragile girl who needs to be protected, just like that night.

Ludwik tried to lower her into a sitting position on her bed, upon which

“Le…lera nois (I…I’m fine now.)”

She brushed his hand aside with a red face; at that moment, her dainty feet stumbled and collided with Ludwik’s ankles, causing their feet to entangle with one another as they collapsed onto the bed.

“Wah!”

Ludwik’s hands thrust deeply into the comforter stuffed with geese feather, and he breathed in her elegant and lightly sweet fragrance from right under his nose.

Underneath his body, there is something frighteningly soft and delicate.

Upon realizing that that something is Queen Katerina’s dainty body, that he’s right on top of that same body, and seeing her face partly covered by her frayed and disordered hair, Ludwik’s heart jumped so hard he felt like it would fly out of his mouth.

(I-I have to get up quickly!)

Ludwik tries to get up, but his body refuses to listen.

Ludwik feels his head become hotter and hotter, his pulse elevate, and her sweeeeet fragrance occupy both of his nostrils entirely. He can’t help but want to continue embracing her slender body, enjoying the feel of her hair that’s like silk thread, and breathing in her wonderful fragrance.

(Now that I think about it, we’re a newlywed couple, so there’s no need for me to get up.)

Whether it’s her small face or her slender throat, all of her skin is frosted white and almost transparent. Her lips are pink like flower petals, and her violet eyes are like a gem made of solidified drops of violet extract.

Really, she’s a beautiful princess just like a dream.

Ludwik slid his arms around her back and embraced her tightly.

Queen Katerina’s body quivered frailly. Even her frightened gesture stirred his heart as well.

She raised some sort of complaint in Endrish.

“Sulaea dol”

Her voice was tiny and weak. She’s probably fl.u.s.tered.

–I’m scared… Please be gentle.

His mind converted what she said conveniently like so, making his already burning head flare in heat.

“Nei”

Ludwik, who hugged Queen Katerina tightly against him, felt his earlobes tickled by her ephemeral breaths.

(Nei. That means no, right…?)

–You can’t.

“Nei, silberrida solyun daryu heito nei”

–No, you can’t. It’s still daytime and you’re already– do stop. Ahh, really, you caan’t.

It’d be difficult for one to consider her feeble gestures, which consisted of clumsily shuffling her narrow shoulders and slender arms about, as a serious sign of protest, the sight of which absolutely numbed Ludwik’s brain.

The queen pushed back against Ludwik’s chest frailly and squeezed out,

“…Y-You’re… heavy.”

in Dahl with a strained voice.

In response, Ludwik finally raised his body up a little, upon which her face, dyed deeply red, appeared right beneath his line of sight.

She looks up at Ludwik with her glistening violet eyes, and her small, partly open lips are trembling like a maiden awaiting a kiss from her lover.

Her sweetness caused his chest to tighten.

(Is this really, that queen? Not someone else?)

Queen Katerina wouldn’t make such an inviting expression. She would surely glare at Ludwik with a frosty gaze. Yet, she’s looking up at Ludwik with completely fl.u.s.tered eyes while nervously stiffening her body that’s touching him in innocence.

“W-what do you plan to do…”

There was no sense of composure from her tone, and the way the last syllable of her sentence quivered is irresistibly sweet.

Ludwik also muttered hoa.r.s.ely,

“Really… I wonder what’s going on–”

What’s the matter with me?

To think I’d want to tightly embrace the queen and become one with her.

“I deeply regret saying I wouldn’t do anything to you.”

Ludwik muttered painfully, upon which the queen’s narrow shoulders and long golden eyelashes trembled, and her expression increasingly fanned the flames of desire as it became frailer and frailer.

“I want to revoke that promise.”

Queen Katernia trembles as her breath is taken away.

Ludwik looked down upon her glistening violet eyes and conveys seriously,

“Isn’t it fine for us to become real husband and wife by now?”

Queen Katerina’s eyes opened widely again. While thinking that her face, which seemed fl.u.s.tered and bewildered, is awfully adorable, Ludwik feels his head spin as he approaches her slightly parted lips with his so as to fulfill the kiss to seal their vows that he failed to do at the ceremony.

She doesn’t resist.

With her beet red face which was lost in chaos, she continues looking up at Ludwik without moving.

If anything, she looks like she’s waiting for Ludwik to kiss her.

(We can finally become true husband and wife.)

As Ludwik’s lips are about to touch her pure, pink lips.

“I-I! I’ve gotta read the Scriptures!”

(Hahh?)

Ludwik stopped and stared at her blankly, confused.

(Scriptures?)

For a moment, he thought that Queen Katerina blurted out something in Endrish. That’s how confused he was.

(Wait, did she say watas.h.i.+ [I, casual] instead of watakus.h.i.+ [I, polite] just now? And also, she said “gotta” instead of “have to” like a townsgirl would.)

As Ludwik was befuddled, Queen Katerina pushed against Ludwik’s shoulders and lifted his body up from hers in one jerk, crawling out from underneath him. She quickly clutched her elegantly bound Book of Scriptures that lay on the side of her bed.

She hastily brings it with her to the window and really begins to read. Out loud even.

“Helma frodia anastern toris kalia slei slei raeyarl (All creation is G.o.d’s gift to us. G.o.d’s love covers the entire world.”

It’s said that the world’s first Book of Scriptures was written in Endrish.

Thus, even churches in Rhodesia recite in Endrish for the important ceremonies. What Queen Katerina is reading aloud is a famous verse.

The citizens of the Endrish Empire are said to be fervently religious, taking pride in being the land where faith originated. But, why does she have to read it now of all times?

“Is that… something you have to read right now?”

With her back still facing Ludwik, Queen Katerina spoke politely this time in flawless Dahl.

“I always read the Scriptures before I go to bed.”

Who from where made that rule?

“El faral lukia saldarnya cresta bellu (Improprietous desire is poison that distances us from G.o.d; be wise and eliminate it.)”

“It’s still noon though.”

“Whether it’s nighttime or noon, I’ve gotta read the Scriptures before going to bed!”

Ah, she’s speaking like a townsgirl again.

“Soma haryll trista (Be gone, obscene evil spirit.)”

(What the, isn’t that a verse for exorcism?)

Ludwik gets off the bed with a frown on his face and walks towards Queen Katerina.

The unbearable throbbing that scorched his body just before was completely lost. Ludwik couldn’t even be bothered to care anymore. Having the Scripture recited before him right before the act, is there any man that wouldn’t wilt?

If Queen Katerina is reading the Scriptures loudly so that people in the hall can hear her, Ludwik wanted to let her know that she needn’t worry about him anymore, so how about she closes her Holy Book. Standing right behind her, he spoke.

“Hey,”

Upon which, Queen Katerina suddenly turned around.

She hooked the outer ends of her eyebrows upward, made her eyes into triangles, and her face was as ferocious as the white wolf itself.

At the same time, she raised her hand high and slammed the Holy Book’s spine down against Ludwik’s forehead.

“Trista Delura–! (Vanish, evil spirit!)”

She screeched as she completed the arc of her swing with all her strength.

Ludwik, who took a holy strike to his forehead from the side diagonally, was blown to the side, hitting his head on the corner of a cabinet.

“Gue!”

Ludwik groaned like the frog that was slapped onto the wall when it tried to sneak into the bed of a princess in a certain fairy tale and collapsed onto the floor facing upward.

In his field of vision, he sees Queen Katerina panting roughly while tightly gripping the Holy Book with one hand.

Her golden hair the color of melted gold was completely unraveled, falling onto her slender shoulders dispersedly, and her white cheeks were stained rose red.

However, no matter how beautiful she is, to Ludwik she looks like a fanatic nun who preys on innocent people under the pretense of an exorcism.

As his consciousness receded, Ludwik learned that the Holy Book can be a weapon and that he mustn’t carelessly make a move on the queen.

And thus, a new incident named “Bam! The Queen’s Holy Book Incident” was added to the record of the strife between the King and Queen of Rhodesia.

“They say His Majesty was knocked down by the queen with a holy book!”

“I heard the queen shouted, “Vanish, evil spirit!” to His Majesty!”

“Even though His Majesty earnestly escorted Queen Katerina to her room after she became ill from drinking too much black tea, Her Majesty suddenly snapped, saying ‘Please don’t touch me with your foul hands.'”

“How horrible. That must be how His Majesty got a bruise on His forehead.

“Good grief, to be treated like an evil spirit the moment one is alone with his wife in the bedroom is intolerable for a man.

“No kidding. Being the princess daughter of the holy emperor, it can’t be helped that she’s haughty, but there’s a limit to things.”

“I’m so glad that my wife is the daughter of a farmer.”

“Yeah, the daughter of an emperor isn’t someone to take as your wife.”

Like so, voices of sympathy once again rose further abound throughout the castle.

The next day. As Ludwik sat in his office chair patting his forehead which had turned blue, Adelheid said regretfully,

“The aphrodisiac that I slipped in the tea was professed to be strong enough to cause a man and a woman uninterested in each other to lose themselves in burning pa.s.sion the moment their eyes meet, but it seems three cups wasn’t enough for Queen Katerina. I should have had her drink two or three more cups.”

“Adelheid, you made us drink something like that!?”

Ludwik peeled his eyes wide open.

(No wonder I suddenly felt so aroused after I drank the tea. That Queen Katerina looked so sensual, that I felt flurried just looking at her, and that I embraced her after I fell down onto the bed on top of her must have all been the aphrodisiac’s fault.)

Incidentally, when Ludwik looked up what the queen first muttered when he fumbled on top of her, he learned that it meant, “Please stop, if you don’t cease this base behavior immediately, divine punishment will be handed down.”

After that incident, when their eyes inadvertently cross in the dining hall, the queen would glare at Ludwik like the white wolf and cover her entire body in an armor of ice.

She seems to have become extra wary after Ludwik’s encroachment onto her. Her fiercely angry countenance telegraphed, “Don’t come any closer to me, don’t address me, you brute!”

Their relations.h.i.+p as husband and wife became even dicier than before.

“I’m deeply sorry. Next time I’ll have Her Majesty drink at least six cups.”

“Give me a break. That’ll only escalate her fanatic exorcism and make her call all Rhodesians evil spirits before long you know.”

In the first place, trying to get a couple to consummate their marriage with drugs isn’t something a young woman would normally come up with. (Well, I’ve never asked Adelheid how old she is, so maybe she isn’t young actually.)

As the lump made on his forehead began to throb painfully–

Ludwik was informed he had a guest.

Upon arriving at his private chamber,

“Big Brother! It’s been awhile.”

The young girl wearing a dress that only reached above her knees stood up from the sofa, and her evenly trimmed flaxen hair rustled about back and forth as she ran towards Ludwik and clung onto him.

She’s Ludwik’s stepsister Lottie.

“Hi Lottie. You did well to make it here. How’s the store? Are Father and Martin the same as usual?”

Martin is Ludwik’s kind and docile half brother born between Ludwik’s stepfather and his mother who just turned four. As Ludwik reciprocated Lottie’s hug, Lottie looked up at him with wide and round eyes.

“Yeah, everyone’s doing well. Though the store lost its poster boy, I’m doing my best as its poster girl so you don’t need to worry. Tourist customers who come to visit the store that the king used to work at when he was a commoner have come in such waves that it’s even busier than before.”

She answered Ludwik.

When their parents married, Lottie was still just a baby who just began to toddle. She became very attached to Ludwik, so much so that the first word she learned to say wasn’t Mommy or Daddy but “Bi Broda”.

She would always follow Ludwik around.

『I wanna be with Bi Broda.』

She’d want to do everything with Ludwik and imitate his behavior, so Ludwik came to pay attention to his language and his table manners. Since if he said something uncouth or ate in a coa.r.s.e manner, it would pa.s.s on to Lottie.

That Lottie calls herself boku [I, masc.] was also an imitation of Ludwik.

“Lottie, you’re a girl so you have to say watas.h.i.+ [I, fem.] not boku.”

He tried to correct her many times, but she just wouldn’t change. Even now, Lottie still continues to call herself boku with a bright and lovable voice like that of a small bird.

Even now that Ludwik has become king, she came here to visit him with the same smile as before.

Today she’s wearing an airy knee-length dress, a headdress with a large side-ribbon, and socks that are almost knee-high. All of them were designed by Ludwik.

Lottie asked innocently as soon as she sat down next to Ludwik on the sofa. She a.s.sumed a diminutive posture, with her knees touching and her hands on her knees.

“Big Brother, I heard when you tried to get intimate with Her Majesty during midday you were struck with a Holy Book and fainted?”

“W-whom did you hear that from!”

Don’t tell me the rumor has already made its way around town?

To Ludwik who became fl.u.s.tered, Lottie replied nonchalantly,

“The maids in the hallway were chatting about it as I waited for you. Also, the guards who escorted me to this room were also talking about it. It seems it’s become a hot topic?”

Ludwik dropped his shoulders dejectedly.

(Isn’t it questionable to gossip about your king so much all around the castle? Isn’t there something fundamentally wrong with that?)

“Ah, but, everyone sympathized with Big Brother. They said things like, ‘I feel so sorry for His Majesty. If it was me that His Majesty came desiring, I’d gladly entertain Him. I’d be okay with Holy Book play and evil spirit play too, yet–.'”

“Wahhhhhhhh.”

Ludwik yelled as he reflexively covered both of Lottie’s ears.

(These things are still too early for Lottie whose b.r.e.a.s.t.s have finally just begun to swell slightly. In the first place, Holy Book play? Evil spirit play? I know nothing about that either!”)

Ludwik gently removed his hands from Lottie, whose eyes were wide in surprise. He then brought his face near hers, and as one would instruct a child,

“You see, Lottie. I didn’t really commit any misconduct towards the queen. I only approached her as the king.”

He states, distorting the truth to some degree. In response, Lottie smiles sweetly.

“I see– it’s tough being the king isn’t it–. There, there.”

She reached out with her hand and petted the lump on Ludwik’s forehead.

(Ah, having family is so nice…)

As Ludwik’s heart, which had been on edge due to Queen Katerina, begins to unravel tenderly, it becomes filled with kindness.

“Guess what, Big Brother? Martin can read books now. He’s engrossed in thick and bulky books. Father boasted proudly that his great-great-grandfather had aimed to be a scholar, so he must be whom Martin inherited his intellect from. He bought books packed with words that would normally be considered too difficult for children to read. But, it seems that Martin’s reading those books little by little as well.”

“I see, I’ll send some books as a gift next time too.”

“Yeah, Martin would definitely like that. I had actually wanted to bring Martin along today. I figure Martin, being as docile as he is, wouldn’t cause any trouble in the castle. But, it seems he’s a little afraid of going somewhere he’s never been to before without Father. And Father… he said he’d feel nervous in a castle, so–”

Ludwik hasn’t met his stepfather since the one time he brought Lottie and Martin along to the castle for the wedding ceremony.

“It’d be nice if I could visit home, but…”

Ludwik’s heart, which had become filled with cheer from talking to Lottie, deflated in the blink of an eye, and he became lonely as though his body became empty inside.

If he told Adelheid he wants to visit his home, she might let him. However, if he returns with knights and the extravagantly decorated royal carriage, he would inconvenience his family with a great deal of public attention.

Seeing Ludwik make a gloomy face, Lottie clasped Ludwik’s hand together snugly with her childish hands and said brightly,

“You know, I came to plead for something from Big Brother today.”

“What is it?”

Upon Ludwik asking, Lottie opened her boyishly vigorous eyes wide as she turned her eyes upward towards Ludwik.

“Yeah. The dress that Big Brother designed for me has become too small, so I thought I’d like a new dress–”

“I see. You’re in your growth period after all.”

“Yup yup, I’m steadily growing bigger every night. When I wake up every morning it feels like I’ve gotten taller.”

“I’ll make a dress on the baggy side for you to grow into then. Let’s take your measurements.”

“You’ll make one for me? Aren’t you busy with work as the king?”

Lottie inquired a little concernedly, upon which Ludwik rustled her hair as he patted her head.

“It’s fine. It just so happens that I just finished approving a set of official doc.u.ments. Besides, even if I am busy, I wouldn’t decline to make clothes for you, Lottie. You’re my exclusive model after all.”

Lottie’s cheeks slacken into bliss like a puppy.

“Hooray! I love you, Big Brother.”

She clings onto Ludwik while remaining seated on the sofa, rubbing her slackened cheeks against the side of Ludwik’s neck. The sweet scent of wild gra.s.s grazed past Ludwik’s nostrils, and her rustling flaxen hair stroked Ludwik’s neck.

Even if she’s grown taller, she’s still like a child in this way.

“It’s ticklish, Lottie.”

While smiling, Ludwik gently frees himself from Lottie’s arms and prepares a tape measure.

For Ludwik, taking Lottie’s measurements and making her clothes are routine activities. With each change of the season, he enjoyed imagining what clothes he wants to have Lottie wear next. Also, there isn’t any girl who can bring out the appeal of Ludwik’s somewhat eccentric designs better than Lottie.

Upon seeing sketches of Ludwik’s original designs, most girls would react like this:

“Well it’s cute… but I think it shows too much leg…”

Or,

“I think it’s a liiittle bit too bold for me… and my legs would get cold. Sorry, I’d rather have a dress with a normal length.

And beyond simple hesitation,

“Ludy, could it be you have a leg fetish? Or is it that you get off from making girls wear embarra.s.sing clothes?”

Girls would be taken aback from Ludwik’s original designs, but there was an exception.

“Big Brother’s dresses are the best for me!”

Only Lottie would happily wear his dresses; her appreciation made Ludwik happy as well.

“Now then, let’s see how much you’ve grown in half a year.”

Ludwik kneeled down in front of Lottie who was in celebration mode and his face naturally closed in on her chest as he wound the tape measure around her slender waist from behind.

“Yeah, you really have grown. You’re right; the size I’ve used for you until now would probably feel uncomfortably tight.”

Ludwik slackened his cheeks, upon which,

“Geeez, I don’t need my waist to grow bigger.”

Displeased, Lottie puffs her cheeks and twists to the side.

“The part that grew lies above my waist.”

“Sure, sure.”

Ludwik let out a giggle as he moved the tape measure up from her waist.

Ludwik first measures the circ.u.mference underneath the b.r.e.a.s.t.s then around them. Lottie squirmed several times and let out cute chirpy laughs like a little bird.

“Hey now, if you don’t stay still, I can’t measure properly you know.”

“I can’t help iiit.”

She said in a spoiled tone.

“So, how is it Big Brother? Did my b.r.e.a.s.t.s grow?”

“Yeah, they’re plumper than when I measured them in spring.”

“See?”

Since Lottie looked down at him with a delighted face, Ludwik reciprocated, looking up at her with a grin with his hands still clinching together the tape measure wound around her b.r.e.a.s.t.s.  It was then–

A hesitant knock sounded from the door.

(I wonder who it is?)

Before he could answer the knock,

“Kii!”

He heard an animal’s chirp as the door opened with a clank.

A small white monkey with a long and thin tail is hanging from the doork.n.o.b.

It seems the one who opened the door is this monkey. The adorable monkey with round eyes was called “Kiki” and was Queen Katerina’s pet that she brought with her from Endra. Normally he’s kept in the gla.s.shouse in the courtyard, but being unusually clever, he often escapes outside by opening the lock himself, to the point that the lock has had to be replaced over and over again.

Incidentally, the red vest that the monkey is wearing is the imitation of Ludwik’s red vest that was the topic of public controversy.

That the monkey suddenly opened the door is not a problem. The problem is, Queen Katerina was standing in front of the door. Not only that, she’s focusing on Ludwik with a terribly paled face, tightly furrowed eyebrows, and eyes filled to the brim with reproach.

Mainly at where Ludwik’s hands are.

His hand that held up the tape measure was touching the upper side of Lottie’s small, developing b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Even if it’s a common sight between a designer and his model, to an outsider, surely it looks like a lecherous man plotting to do bad things to a young girl.

“No no, I’m just taking her measurements!”

He explained.

However, Queen Katerina immediately begins to shake her shoulders and quiver her lips. As she grabs the white monkey Kiki, who had been hanging dexterously from the doork.n.o.b, she yells in Endrish,

“Zlotto!”

And threw Kiki at him.

“Uwaahh!”

Failing to foresee that she would throw Kiki at him, Ludwik let go of the tape measure and stood in front of Lottie so as to cover her. Kiki latched onto Ludwik’s face and scratched with all his might using his small claws.

“Uwaaahh, Uwaaahh!”

In the king’s private chamber which ought be peaceful, screams resound one after another.

“Big Brother!”

With a bright red face, Queen Katerina walked briskly towards Lottie, who was in a panic trying to pull Kiki away from Ludwik’s face, and grabbed her arms. She spoke in a flurry, saying things like “You mustn’t be together with such an immoral man! How lecherous despite a sincere-looking face! Argh, I’ve had it. Lechers who pretend to be refres.h.i.+ng are the worst!” with a dreadful impetus as she took Lottie outside with her.

“Big Brotheeeer–”

Ludwik heard Lottie’s voice fade away while being scratched mercilessly by Kiki.

Ludwik only learned that “zlotto” means pervert after Lottie left the castle while still worried about him to return home.

Ludwik, whose face was full of scratches, was looking down at the definition in the dictionary with a sour look. Adelheid addressed him with a meek face,

“The reason Her Majesty visited Your Highness’s bedroom is that I had told her that Sire’s little sister wanted to see her pet monkey. I thought that if Sire’s little sister and her pet are present, a gentle mood would arise in which Your Majesties would be able to reconcile. It appears that my a.n.a.lysis was still far too shallow. I’m deeply remorseful.”

She lowered her head.

Naturally, there hasn’t been a word of apology from Queen Katerina.

“It’s your fault for doing things that would be misunderstood. Even if the two of you are siblings, there’s a limit to things. Your hand that held up the tape measure was lewd, and your eyes that looked up at your little sister as you were kneeling were those of a criminal himself.”

She had said something along those lines…

Ludwik closed the Endrish dictionary and said in a steep voice.

“Alas, things have become even stormier. At this point, I just want to eat what I like and do what I like leisurely by myself to rejuvenate my body and soul for the rest of the day. As such, please bring my meals to my room.”

“I don’t mind, but the truth is a bit of work has piled up.”

“Hah? You didn’t say anything about that during the day.”

“After the daily briefing a large amount of paperwork that I need Sire to look over suddenly came in.”

“How much?”

“About this much.”

Ludwik gazed dumbfoundedly at the doc.u.ments and files that Adelheid had had someone bring piled into a mountain on the table.

There’s ten times more than usual!

“I’ll have your meals brought to you as you wish. That would let you work more efficiently too. How about a Lavinian-styled custard royale stuffed with duck and garnished with Ca.s.sis sauce? It’s the chef’s self-boasted specialty. The black truffle soup and Doloonian-styled quail and avocado salad are superb as well.”

As Ludwik gazed back at the mountain of pending doc.u.ments, he muttered weakly,

“…I want b.u.t.tery baked potatoes with skin on, minced pork stuffed-cabbage stew, boiled fish head seasoned with wine lees… Also, teriyaki grilled snake and watered-down wheat-beer.”

Ludwik lists his comfort foods that he fell back on back when he was living a rich life as a commoner, upon which

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think such dishes are in the chef’s repertoire. I could explain the details and have him attempt an imitation, but I’m afraid it might hurt his pride as the king’s chef, so I can’t recommend doing so. As for the beer, we don’t have any, so I’ll have top grade wine diluted with lots of water in its place.”

Adelheid says nonchalantly.

(Are you telling me that once one becomes king, one can’t even drink cheap tavern wheat-beer nor eat rustic stew anymore?)

Feeling increasingly dispirited, Ludwik dropped his shoulders.

That was the night that Ludwik snuck out of the castle and went to a pub in town.

TN Afterword

Drugged Katerina sure was cute huh? One has to respect how much discipline she has to resist her l.u.s.t after three cups of the tea when Ludwik surrendered after just one. What a strong girl she is! I really respect her~ Bit brutal though afterwards in this chapter. Even someone as nice and patient as Ludwik has to be on the verge of las.h.i.+ng out if things don’t change soon. spoilers: Fortunately, things do change soon after =).

Also, if you’d like to show some appreciation for my work I made a ko-fi account.

Not expecting much, but eh, if someone wants to give, then I will gratefully take.

Of course, if you enjoy the story, I encourage you to buy a copy of the book as well to support the author. There are many digital versions out there that you can conveniently buy. Amazon.co.jp, Rakuten kobo, etc… I now have two copies of this novel actually after I ended up buying a digital version to help with the translation. This is also the first time I bought an ebook, so I only realized just now how useful and convenient they are… don’t think I’m ever going back to print.

I’ve gotta say though, translating is a lot of work! Way more than I expected when I took it up. I sped things up for this chapter but it still took ~20 hours if not more. I want to warn you guys ahead of time that I can’t promise I’ll translate the whole series, but I do promise to finish this first novel at least.

Lastly, I watched Your Name/Kimi no Na Wa in the theater this week. Pretty good! Great scenery p.o.r.n as usual from s.h.i.+nkai. What was unusual for s.h.i.+nkai was [spoiler] the happy ending.