On Dublin Street #3 Before Jamaica Lane - Page 78

The door slammed shut behind me, jerking me out of my stupor.

‘What are you doing here?’ I demanded, my hands clenching into fists at my sides.

‘Angus helped me out.’

That traitor! ‘Oh, he is so off the Christmas list,’ I fumed.

Nate’s lips twitched. ‘Don’t do anything drastic. I was quite persuasive. The poor guy couldn’t help himself.’

‘Oh, I’m sure.’ Angus had probably melted under Nate’s warm, chocolaty gaze. ‘Now if you don’t mind, you need to leave.’ I gestured to the door, trying not to visibly shake. I felt like I hadn’t seen him in a hundred years and I did not like the warm fuzzies I was getting in my stomach from just being in his presence.

‘I can’t. I need to explain something first.’ He stood up and to my utter shock he began to pull his T-s.h.i.+rt up and off.

‘What are you doing?’ I snapped, reaching forward to stop him, until my eyes caught sight of his tattoo.

My heart began to thud. Loudly.

His eyes never leaving me, Nate dumped his T-s.h.i.+rt on the desk. ‘I made the change to the tattoo a few weeks ago. What you said during our breakup … it got inside me, Liv. I’ve had a lot of time to think, to process. To move on. And this’ – he gestured to the tat – ‘I wanted to talk to you about it, what it means, since the day I got it.’

The stylized ‘A’ on his chest had been expanded to the word ‘After.’

A lump the size of Mexico formed in my throat.

Nate took a step toward me, his gaze intense, raw, and his words were low and rough with emotion as he said, ‘Before you, there was Alana. I can’t change that, Liv, and I don’t want to. She was my first love. It was a simpler kind of love. It was the love of two children.’ He searched my face, apparently trying to gauge my reaction to this, but I was stupefied. Nate continued quietly, ‘I always thought that I kept a distance from women because I knew I’d never be able to love someone the way I loved her. I was wrong. I kept my distance because I was afraid of finding the kind of love my parents have, and I was afraid of what it would do to me if I lost that kind of love.’ He took another step toward me and with each step he stole another breath from me. ‘I never meant to fall in love with you. But I did. I felt it the first night I made love to you. I tried to walk away then because I’ve never felt so lost and yet so f**king found as I felt that night looking into your eyes as I moved inside you. I thought I should walk away … but I couldn’t stay away from you.’ He smiled. ‘Totally f**king addicted at the first taste of you. I’m so sorry I put you through h.e.l.l. I’m sorry I was selfish. I’m sorry I ever made you doubt what you knew was between us from the start. Because it has been there since we met, Liv. The s.e.x lessons just pushed it to the fore. Since we met, I’ve enjoyed being around you more than anyone else. I laugh harder with you. I feel more myself with you. I trust you with me – the real me. When something goes wrong, or right, or I hear a funny joke, or I see something bizarre, you’re the first person I want to talk to about it. Fuel all that with the best f**king s.e.x I’ve ever had in my life, and it’s no wonder I’m a goner.’ His voice deepened again as he took one last step toward me. ‘I want you all the time, Olivia. The past few weeks have been torture without you. And despite what you might still think, I promise there has been no one else. How could there ever be?’

I didn’t even realize I was crying until he cupped my face to catch my tears on his thumb.

‘Alana was my first love and I’ll never forget her. She’s a part of me and always will be. But I know it’s time to move forward, it’s time to start living in the after. You’re that for me, Liv. You’re the love of my life.’

The sob burst forth before I could stop it and Nate caught me, leaning his forehead against mine as he rubbed his hands soothingly down my arms.

‘Please, Liv. Please tell me what I need to do to make sure you believe that.’

I swallowed, trying to calm the ache in my chest that was causing the sobs. Sucking in a deep breath, I gazed down at his chest and gently touched the new tattoo.

After

I tilted my head back to give him a watery smile. ‘You’ve already done it.’

Nate’s arms slid around me, his head dipping so he could growl against my lips, ‘I love you so f**king much.’

My heart jumped and I closed my eyes in pure relief. ‘I love you, too.’

He kissed me.

Hard.

And I clung on for dear life.

We stumbled back against the table as we kissed each other as if it were the last time we’d get the chance. Turning us, Nate lifted me onto the table without breaking our connection and I immediately wrapped my legs around him, urging him closer. My hands pressed deep into the muscles in his back as he gripped my hips. I sucked on his tongue and felt his answering hard-on nudge insistently between my legs.

A loud burst of laughter from outside managed to force its way between us, and I jerked back, shaking my head dazedly. ‘We can’t,’ I panted breathlessly. ‘Not here. Do you know how many students have gotten up to no good on this table?’

His eyes bright with l.u.s.t, color high on his cheeks, Nate looked a little nonplussed at first as he gazed past me to said table. Finally, he lifted his hopeful gaze. ‘My place is a five-minute walk from here.’

Surprise shot through me and I smiled slowly. ‘I’ve never seen your place.’

Tenderness softened Nate’s expression as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. ‘I’d really like you to see it now, babe.’

I bit my lip, musing over it. I didn’t muse long. ‘Angus does owe me some vacation time. I’m sure he won’t mind me taking a half day.’

Nate’s hand was warm and strong in mine, and since his strides were eating concrete I had no choice but to hurry along with him or have my arm pulled out of the socket.

After Angus grinned knowingly at my half-day request and then quickly granted it, Nate had grabbed my hand and hauled a.s.s out of the library. Without saying one word he pulled me along with him over the Meadows and into Marchmont.

I was now being ushered up the stairs in his building at super speed. On the second floor, without letting go of my hand, I might add, Nate dug his keys out of his pocket, opened the s.h.i.+ny black door one-handed and dragged me inside.