Mushi to Medama - LightNovelsOnl.com
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I was very beautiful once, more beautiful than anything else on this world. I was more beautiful than the sun, than precious stones, more beautiful than all the beauties that were ever known to humanity.
Everyone should have acknowledged this fact.
Everyone should have raised their arms in jubilation and praise me.
The entire world should have striven to preserve my beauty for eternity.
However -
These idiots never understood this!
I was at the pinnacle of happiness three years ago.
"And here comes the genius magician - Mon Lambo!"
The audience, a full house, cheered for me. The stagelights gathered and shone on me. The music was solemn, and the sounds of clapping did not fade for a long time. How many others in world could enjoy the same amount of attention as me, and hear their own names being called back to them by the audience with a mad pa.s.sion?
Mon. Mon. The genius magician, Mon Lambo.
Everyone should have respected this name. Historians should have included my name into the list of past heroes without a doubt. Everyone should have called me a genius, and loudly proclaimed me as a miracle while tears rolled off their faces. That was expected. I was different from those mortals. Everyone living in the same era as me should have given thanks to the blessing of G.o.d.
I was very satisfied. I became very arrogant, and I considered myself as a human chosen by G.o.d. Everyone else was merely a lowborn human who had been created to compliment my existence. I was a firm believer of this.
Until I was betrayed by those lowborn humans.
The one who betrayed me was a vile woman in the same theater company as me.
I was born in a filthy ghetto that I don't even want to remember the name of, and I pa.s.sed my childhood there. Someone died every day, the air was murky, and we never had enough to eat. Family and friends would stab each other in the back for just one coin. It was a rotten town.
I crawled out of that place, and then began to wander and perform on the streets. I gave up everything, and strove to keep practicing my craft underground. While all the other people were still sleeping in their warm beds, I practiced my magic alone underneath the cold night sky.
Men are not born as geniuses. One becomes a genius during his lifetime. Those who do not become geniuses only fall short because they are lazy, and do not experience the maddening resolve to hone their craft even if it kills them. They are but mundane creatures who waste their precious lives in foolishness and confusion.
I sat silently on the side of the road and looked at the children my age as I kept considering this. I was genuinely a little bit jealous. Those children didn't experience any hards.h.i.+ps, and yet they were undoubtedly happier than I was. I, who tried everything I could to make a living for myself. I would not tolerate this.
Now I remember this. I was looking down upon those foolish people from my height. I will let you, those of you who consider happiness as your natural due and does not work hard, recognize just how much of a failure your lives have all been.
I am the one worthy of happiness!
I have more patience than anyone else! I worked harder than anyone else! I craved happiness more than anyone else!
You fools, you who are living a life like lukewarm water, who blindly believe that someone will spoon-feed you happiness if you wish for it, I will show you what I am capable of! I will become someone great, someone beautiful, someone outstanding, and then I will show you what I am capable of!
This self-depreciation, overflowing with jealousy, became my drive, and I used it to keep climbing towards the top of the world.
I thought that, after my performance on the street was reported, the TV station should then appear and invited me to a program. Of course, I was a genius, after all. The entire world should have acknowledged my existence. That was inevitable. After all, I was the chosen one! I would of course become happy. I was different from all those mediocre creatures. I was someone living seriously and striving to be better!
In the blink of an eye, I became someone famous. Everyone was praising me. However, those remarks around me did not satisfy my pride, not at all.
They should praise me more! More! More and more people should see me. More and more people should envy me. I want those people who are greedily enjoying their peaceful lives to feel regret and shame about themselves!! Ahahaha! I am completely different from all of you! I don't care how you debase me. That's just the wailing of losers! Go grit your teeth in hatred as you gaze upon me with jealousy! You mediocre humans! You ordinary creatures!
All you have to do is to be jealous of me! All I have to do is to feel regret for your foolishness! That would be supreme happiness for me! I would laugh so hard I can't even close my mouth! Ahahaha! Hahaha! Think of why you can't be as happy as Mon Lambo! Mutter to yourself! Feel free to feel jealous and frustrated until you go mad!
Envy me in your wails! Envy me in your desperation! This pain, this regret that could almost cut your body up piece by piece, will be used to cure my sorrows!
You idiots! Feel jealous! Ahahaha! Ahahahahahaha!
I would feel annoyed even if I p.r.o.nounce that name, so I shall call her 'that woman'. That woman didn't try anything herself, but just became a performer through her family. People like those are the people I hate the most. She never perfected her performing skills, and simply chattered about her thoughts. She flirted as if she was trying attract people around her all the time. It disgusted me. She would escape to safety as soon as she ran into trouble, and always asked for help from others. She never considered ways to solve problems whenever she had issues, and always ran away.
But although she was so despicable, she was very smooth when it came to dealing with other people. Everyone loved her.
On the contrary, I didn't want to interact with other fools, and I was isolated.
Compared to practicing their skills and performing on a bigger and grander stage, women like her put more thought into staying in their current place, where they could just live with ease. And I, this genius magician that that was a supreme gem of humanity, was someone that made the atmosphere more ominous, someone who was a bother.
This ostentatious and despicable situation continued in the theater company. That woman made up rumors, saying that men in the company were commanded to woo me. It was so stupid. She could not win over me in our craft, so she started to hurt me with rumors, wis.h.i.+ng to defeat me through alienation and other roundabout methods. It was ridiculous.
I completely ignored her existence, and worked diligently like always.
In the end, that woman was completely confused, while my prestige kept rising. The atmosphere was so good. It felt so happy to look down upon the fools from my height. Yet that woman kept looking towards me with her jealous, slavishly hateful gaze! Woman, why do you hate me? The only reason others did not acknowledge you was because you did not try hard enough!
Things would often get very fun after the performance ended. I enjoyed the audience’s cheers and clapping on my own. However, she made many mistakes during the performance, even with moves that could be easily mastered with the slightest practice, and she was mocked. I swore that, unlike her, I would not harm others and cause others to be despised. My personality also wasn’t inclined to spread such baseless rumors. If I had the spare time to knife someone in the back, I would rather perfect my skills, and improve myself.
However, on that day, I reached the limit of my endurance.
I faced her, faced that woman who frequently made me feel inadequate and whom I disliked, and spoke what I thought to her face:
“Do you know why you are not receiving praise like me?”
I looked down, a rising desire for sadism welling up in my heart as I gritted my teeth and hissed:
“Because you are not me!”
Then, in order to make even an idiot like her understand this, I began to explain in a tender and simple way:
“I am someone chosen by G.o.d, whereas you are but some worthless trash. Even the audience knows this. You didn’t try as hard as I did, but you were so sure of yourself, as if you got the same praises as me. If you have the time to despise me, you should go practice those moves that even a newbie can muster.”
And as soon as I finished speaking -
She emitted a mad cry, and threw the flask of sulfuric acid she had hidden in her dress towards my face. The sound of the audience cheering was still echoing behind me. However, I could only hear my own shocked screams, and the terrified yells that came as my skin was scorched away.
Even so, I still believed that this world was fair.
G.o.d must exist somewhere, and strictly looking over the matter of retribution in His abode. If I strove for it, if I had strived for it, then happiness must be arranged for me. If I kept working to improve myself, then I would definitely achieve the appropriate result.
The world is fair. I will definitely be happy. I have always worked hard since the day I was born, and never slacked, always holding on to the thought that I will one day become happy.
However... However!
Using the money I saved up, I spent three years trying to restore my face to its previous form using plastic surgery, my terrifying face, ruined by sulfuric acid. Yes. As long as I didn’t give up, I could recover as many times as I needed, from whatever came my way. I was able to work hard and leave that terrifying and rotten ghetto, arriving at where I am today. What are these scars on my face to me? I believe I will once again be welcomed by the audience. I have no doubt of that.
The genius magician, Mon Lambo, is here!
The packed house was full of cheers. The stagelights focused all on me. Solemn music, and the reverberating sound of clapping. I believed from the bottom of my heart that those scenes would once again appear.
That's because I am the person chosen by G.o.d! Therefore, I've only suffered a small setback, and just needed to rest for a little bit. No one can replace a genius like me. Once I re-emerge, the audience would once again bestow their cheers and praise on me.
But my hopes were crushed.
They were completely shattered, and I fell into the worst situation possible.
The first time I felt a hint of what was to come was when I was introducing my magic performance at a TV station.
I was actually chased out of there. It was unbelievable. I still clearly remember the words they said:
You are done. Your magic has fallen behind the times. Your performance is just entertainment to the audience, like a TV program or a video game. Your tricks will soon be forgotten as soon as other fun products come up.
There are many things that can replace you.
Huh? I was shocked. It was unbelievable. Wasn't I a genius? There was nothing that could replace me. Hey, how many people had the same talents as me? How many others had worked as hard as me in practicing my magic?
And while I was feeling such unease, that woman was living comfortably before me. She was the one who burnt my face – but thanks to those eloquent and versatile lawyers of hers, the unforgivable sin that she committed was completely erased. Yet she appeared before me at this time. That b.i.t.c.h looked down upon me and shrieked in laughter as if she saw something extremely ridiculous. Her face was full of a disgust as she spoke:
“Do you understand now? You are not a genius. You are nothing!”
Split split split. The stiches on my face from the cosmetic surgery started to split apart. I could feel that the rotting flesh was already exposed.
“There are many, many things that can replace you. You are not a genius, and there is nothing special about you. No one treated you as someone chosen by G.o.d. You are just an average actor. You are just a frivolous thing to be consumed by the public, just like any other entertainment! Ahahaha!”
You mediocre people.
You mundane creatures!
This is so foolish. Isn’t there a G.o.d in this world? What is happening? Why, why do people who strive do not get recognition from others? Why is someone so brutish, foolish, and base, able to wear such a self-satisfied expression, while a genius like me had to fall into such a state?
Everything was upside down!
I want to be special! I want to be a genius, to be someone chosen by G.o.d, someone praised by all! I don’t want to be completely forgotten by people so quickly! I don’t want to be a cog in this capitalist machine! This is scary! So scary so scary so scary! It’s so scary to be completely forgotten by people! No matter how much I tried, no matter how much I strove, I would lose the recognition of others with just the smallest mistake. It’s so scary!
The structure of this world must be all wrong.
It should be fair! G.o.d! The world should be fair! I should be praised and complimented! G.o.d! Please realize this and come to your senses!
Everything has gone crazy! The logic in this world is all weird! It must be all messed up! If I can't even become happy, then this world is definitely messed up!
"Ahhhhhh! If you understand this, then hurry up and disappear! You has-been!"
Listening to those words she said, my sense of reason completely crumbled.
Who did that b.i.t.c.h think she was?!
You unbearably mundane creature, who the h.e.l.l do you think you are?!
Had I been someone ordinary, then I should have been finished. It would have been a tragic story of failure that happened all around us, a story full of anger and sorrow. But it wasn't over yet, no matter if it ends in happiness or misfortune - no, it would definitely end in happiness.
One of the wandering Fragments of G.o.d discovered me, and a soul governed by hatred took root in the fertile soil.
I only knew about the name Ultimate s.h.i.+eldThe Weakest later. Do what thou wilt - that was what the Fragment said to me.
When I came to my senses, that woman's body laid lifeless before me, and I stood before it, covered with blood.
That was probably the start of everything, the start of this world's journey towards the end.
I will treat everything fairly. I will rebuild this world into a just one.
The Snow White born with her beauty finally obtained happiness at the end - that shouldn't be right. It is only fitting that the Jealous Queen should obtain the final victory in this world. That person who kept striving for happiness, who never slacked even for a moment, that Jealous Queen.