Mushi to Medama Vol 3 Chapter 2

Night 2: Granulated Sugar and a One-sided Love

A turbulent, whirling, malignant current.

A writhing, wavering, unpleasant torrent.

“But I don’t understand.”

Saibara Mitsuki – Unpleasant Counter-current – stood on one foot on top of a high telecommunication tower with a perplexed look on her face. She was on a tower deep into the mountains, a small distance away from Kannonsakazaki. This area contained numerous telecommunication towers and was completely covered by a dark stretch of forest. The only building in the vicinity was a giant mansion, likely owned by some rich person.

Although she was a.s.sailed by the strong mountain wind and almost fell down many times. Mitsuki managed to stay where she was with an astounding balance and kept muttering to herself.

No. Not to herself.

Mitsuki and Mina

“Well,” with no need to hide its existence, the head was taken out of the secured bag and looked down upon the world with Mitsuki, “it’s not only Kannonsakazaki that had an increase in the number of monsters. Monsters are popping up frequently and simultaneously all over the world.”

“Why?” Mitsuki held down her hat with the round ears and asked. “This has never happened before. Why would monsters suddenly multiply?”

“I don’t know – G.o.d Mus.h.i.+ Emperor won’t tell me everything. However, I must be the reason why monster have multiplied.”

Upon hearing this, Mitsuki opened her eyes wide in shock: “So Sis is the culprit – but I trusted you so much –” She then tossed the head upward from her already terrifyingly elevated position on top of the telecommunication tower.

“Woahhhhhhhh?!!!!!!” Spinning, the head screamed as it flew up into the sky. “Hey, you are really stupid! Let me finis.h.!.+ I was going to say I lost my Greater Fragment before finding a suitable successor! Now Sterilization Disinfection, this ‘role’ that represses monsters, disappeared – Kyaaaa!! This is so high! I’m spinning so quickly! This is so scaryyyyyyy!”

Looking at the screaming head, Mitsuki stuck out her tongue and poked herself on the head.

“Teehee~ Mitsuki didn’t understand and said the wrong thing.”

“You’re going to remember this – you witless kid!”

Mitsuki didn’t look up at the head screaming on top of her. She tried to sort out her thoughts.

The numbers of monsters increased because Sterilization Disinfection no longer existed. Sterilization Disinfection, who was tasked with distinguis.h.i.+ng right from wrong and ruthlessly eliminating evil, had always annihilated the monsters that appeared in this world.

Did the monsters all appear because the ‘role’ of Sterilization Disinfection could no longer be fulfilled?

She could understand the reasoning – however, it was also possible somebody set down a trap in Sterilization Disinfection’s absence. Although she didn’t know what anyone would want to do with monsters, Mitsuki felt an uncanny premonition from her ‘role’ that specializes in detecting evil intentions.

Let’s figure out the enemy’s goal. The result of these multiplying monsters would be chaos in the world – and the death of humanity.

That would mean –

Mitsuki closed her eyes in thought.

That would mean – what would it mean?

“Hold on, Ki-chan! What are you thinking about! Did you forget about me?”

“Sis, you’re being very loud. I’m trying to think.”

“You did forget me!”

"Donk"

The falling head smacked onto Mitsuki’s head, causing her to lose her balance.

Wobbling, she tipped over the edge of the steel telecommunication tower, plummeting quickly towards the ground.

“Huh?”

In the air, she rolled once, twice...and smashed into the ground.

Thump

At a familiar yet uncommon sound, Kuroki Tatsue furrowed her brows slightly and looked out from the luxuriously decorated window.

However, a sharp sound of rebuke quickly flew her way: “Tatsue-san, focus. You can’t be distracted by sounds from the outside.”

“Yes, Sensei.” Tatsue lowered her head and her expression became sullen.

The Kuroki family – a subordinate branch family of the Sakaki family who controlled the world – was one of the wealthiest families in j.a.pan.

Tatsue was the eldest daughter of the Kuroki family. Her future was all but secured. However, that was also why she could not afford to be lazy, and even had to endure unusual amounts of mental and physical anguish.

Tatsue had always been a caged bird ever since she was born.

Now you are just an ugly duckling, but one day you will become a beautiful swan. With such a fairytale preposition from her mother, Tatsue was given a severe regimen in education and trainings to reach her full potential. However, be it academics, arts, or sports, she could not achieve perfection in any one category, and it hurt every time she was berated for her lack of talent.

Kuroki Tatsue was the step-sister of Sakaki Guryū, who was born as a swan and will one day soar to the top of the world. If he died, or refused to inherit the Organization, Tatsue would take his place in her role as ‘insurance’.

Her mother – the lover of Sakaki Ganhō, who was the current CEO of the Sakaki Organization – also hoped for this outcome.

Fortunately or not, her elder brother Guryū didn’t seem too interested in the Organization. There was still some real hope that Tatsue may become the head of the Sakaki Organization in the future.

But Mother should have known the truth all this time.

I’m not even an ugly duckling. I am only a raven without any talents whatsoever. Even if I live in a cage, given quality foods, industriously was.h.i.+ng my feathers, I could never become as beautiful as I wish. No matter how much I am told to “Become whiter! Become white and beautiful!”, I can never manage that as a raven.

Tears welled up in Tatsue’s eyes.

She wanted to run away from her house many times.

I’m trying very hard too. I understand what everyone expects of me. But no matter how much I train myself, how much I strive for the goal, I remain far from my brother’s perfection.

I believe there are fundamental differences between people’s inborn talents.

I can’t do this. I am a Kuroki. I cannot take a Sakaki’s place.

“Seriously.”

In the sound-proof music room, the female tutor crossed her legs and sighed at Tatsue, who was practicing her violin. She could have said this either intentionally or not, but –

“Her brother could play it better.”

This sentence pierced through the most fragile part of Tatsue’s soul.

Your brother is more outstanding. Your brother is better. Your brother is more talented. You need to look up to your brother, brother, brother, brother.

“I…”

With a “bam”, Tatsue threw the violin onto the ground and lowered her head gloomily: “I am not big brother’s subst.i.tute!”

“Tatsue-san!” Angered, the tutor stared at Tatsue through her thin gla.s.ses: “What are you doing?! Keep practicing!”

A despicable silence ensued.

Cold tears dripped down Tatsue’s cheeks as she stared back at the tutor: “If you like big brother that much, then go teach him instead. I – I’m not big brother’s subst.i.tute!”

This was her limit.

When Tatsue was younger, she had witnessed her mother’s complaints, hidden behind the older woman’s fawning att.i.tude.

Tatsue is useless. That girl won’t make it. She said that. No one acknowledges me. No one looks at me.

I’ve known this for a long time, but I tried my best to pretend that I don’t.

“Tatsue-san!”

Outraged, Tatsue glared furiously at the tutor, who was stretching her hand towards her.

“I hate you!”

She yelled and invoked a tornado. The tutor was blown away and smashed into the wall.

Tatsue was somewhat satisfied, but she soon felt empty again. She opened the door of the music room and ran downstairs.

She had the ability to control wind, an ability that her older brother did not have.

This was the first time Tatsue was aware of being herself. She had always been regarded as ‘Sakaki Guryū’s subst.i.tute”.

Tatsue has always been told to follow Sakaki Guryū’s path as closely as possible over the years.

No one expected to see Tatsue’s own future. No one loved Tatsue. No one looked at Tatsue.

She realized this –

– And she could endure it no more.

– Mom! The tutor praised my drawings!

– Oh, well done Tatsue. Keep going like this, and you’ll become someone as outstanding as your brother.

– Mm, I’ll do my best! So, Mom, um…

– What’s wrong, Tatsue?

– Praise me.

After watching a horror movie, after being scolded by her tutor, after her pet bird died – she would visit that room every time she encountered something sad or painful. However, as time pa.s.sed by and they grew older, she had stopped doing that.

It was a large long building next to the Kuroki mansion, not intruding upon the outward impression of the main house.

About forty servants of the Kuroki household resided there.

Tatsue carefully sneaked in through the rear kitchen entrance, undetected by anyone. She traversed the long corridor and saw the room she wanted.

The servants, still busy at their jobs, did not seem to have returned here yet. It was quiet everywhere. Dinner time was approaching, but Tatsue didn’t want to go back to the main house. She decided not to have dinner tonight.

She stood in front of the door labelled “Takamikado Mitaka”. Every servant was given a room in this building.

Mitaka was the son of servants, and he was still serving his apprentices.h.i.+p, often sent to do trivial jobs. If she recalled correctly, this was his weekly off-day.

“Mitaka –”

Tatsue knocked the door politely. Though she was surprised at the lack of responses, she still opened the door slowly: “Are you there, Mitaka?”

As she was about to step into the room, she realized the floor was so messy there was not even a clean spot to put her foot down. Her room was always tidied immaculately. Having never seen such an untidy room, she was scared. She looked down and saw the floor covered with magazines, manga, figurines, and some unknown items that had nothing to do with Tatsue’s world.

This room was not like this the last time she visited a few years ago.

“Wh-what…” Tatsue couldn’t help but blush when she saw a manga with a nude female figure. Although she had known this for a long time, she did not expect Mitaka to have fallen to such levels.

“Tatsue?”

She suddenly heard Mitaka’s voice. The room was not big, but she could not see Mitaka. Tatsue looked around her. There was a wardrobe, cupboards, a desktop computer and a bookshelf. A bed was in the corner of the room.

“Honestly, don’t scare me.” Mitaka crawled out from under the bed.

“Th-th-that’s what I was going to say!” Feeling awkward, Tatsue glared at him.

“Just where did you come out from, Mitaka? It’s not like you are an insect or a reptile!”

Somehow, Mitaka had a serious expression and became silent after hearing this. He soon shook his head and picked up some plastic ropes on his bed, tying stacks of manga and magazines together. He was indeed categorizing rubbish into different bags while tying the magazines into one big bundle, as if planning to throw them away.

“What do you want? I’m busy tidying up right now.”

“Tidying – Mitaka –”

Tatsue still did not have the courage to step into the chaotic room. She closed the door after her and stood where she was.

“Don’t you… like these things a lot?”

“It seems so.” As if talking about someone else, Mitaka did not stop his movements.

“But that person calling herself my mother yells at me everyday to clean up, to tidy my room, to stop reading these things. After all, I don’t have much interest in this, so I did what she asked.”

Mitaka was indeed different.

Mitaka’s mother – also one of Tatsue’s personal servants – complained that Mitaka was rebellious, rude, and disobedient.

Clumsily, Mitaka tied a knot with the plastic robe he used to bundle up the magazines, and threw the piles on the bed: “Anyways, whenever I start to tidy up, Mom would look really happy. She even cried out of happiness… I feel good when she is so happy.”

He had a smile on his face as he muttered this. He was stunning. Tatsue felt that her heart, frozen by the behavior of the tutor, gradually melted. Mitaka’s mother was not the only one who was happy to see his transformation.

Mitaka looked sideways with a puzzled expression at Tatsue, who was busy feeling moved.

“What are you doing here anyways? Traces of tears are on your face. Did someone hurt you? Honestly, I don’t know what happened to you, but humans really do love crying!”

“Huh – I, I didn’t.”

Tatsue was very happy that he worried about her. Tears swelled in her eyes, but her proud heart made her lift her chin arrogantly – at the end, she turned her face away.

However, she soon couldn’t bear to watch Mitaka’s clumsiness. Acting on a whim, she crossed the floor littered with manga and dirty clothes and approached his bed.

She sat down on his soft bed and went to help Mitaka. Tatsue was in a demure dress and had limited mobility, but that couldn’t be helped.

“You’re helping me? Tatsue is such a good kid.”

Mitaka said this with total seriousness. Tatsue tilted her head as she picked up the magazines on the bed: “Good kid… that’s a strange compliment.”

“Oh? You told me before that you like being complimented in that way, didn’t you?” Tatsue was surprised that he said this in such a casual manner.

“That was when we were very young. I’m happy you remember that, though.” Tatsue was somewhat happier. Mitaka didn’t forget the memories they shared.

They silently tidied up in this manner for a while, and Tatsue gradually felt calmer. Living all alone in the Kuroki mansion was like standing naked in a snowstorm, but this room contained a warmth that appeased her heart.

“There’s really an awful lot…”

Tatsue picked up a manga volume with a relatively work-safe cover and browsed through it, flipping through the pages.

Mitaka nodded and continued with an emotionless tone, as if talking about someone else: “This takes up about eighty percent of thoughts, ninety percent of his money, and fifty percent of his memories – that’s about how much Takamikado Mitaka is interested in such things. My mind would also have to undergo a lot pressure in order to throw away such things.

“Awesome! And I’m not being sarcastic.” Closing the book, Tatsue said gloomily: “If I am as pa.s.sionate towards something as you are… then perhaps my life would be different.”

How would her life compare with Mitaka’s? Her life consisted of nothing except obedience, striving only because she wanted others to praise her. Wasn’t her life so much duller? Wasn’t her life completely empty?

“I should have a hobby and immerse myself in it… Actually, Mitaka, I like making dolls. Sure, I imagine my tailoring skills aren’t as mature as big brother’s, but it is still quite good.”

“I see… after all, idols created by humans embody the imagination men have towards G.o.d and themselves. Interesting. Will you show them to me someday?”

Although Mitaka said something strange, Tatsue maintained her smile and decided to overlook it.

Her mind naturally calmed down and her heart gradually started to open itself up.

“Mmm, I’ll be very happy to.”

Just spending time with the person she had entrusted her heart to when they were children was a happiness that seeped all the way into Tatsue’s heart.

I wish this could go on forever, she thought.

Tatsue did not forget the black flesh she saw beneath his skin the day before yesterday.

However, Tatsue felt painful no matter what may have been the reason for his transformation.

– A heartache?

Indeed. It must be so. It surprised even herself. She accepted this sentiment. It seemed she sincerely cared and loved this man, whom she had liked very much before and grew more and more reliable as time went on – this Takamikado Mitaka.

“Mitaka, you’re the only one in this entire house who looks at me as Kuroki Tatsue, whereas everyone else thinks Kuroki Tatsue is ‘insurance’. That makes me very happy.”

Tatsue smiled genuinely like a child. Confused, Mitaka replied: “I don’t understand. Of course you are Kuroki Tatsue. I can’t possibly mistake you as someone else. Is that so odd?”

“No.” Tatsue shook her head and said with a soft voice full of happiness: “I am indeed Kuroki Tatsue. That is the correct answer.”

Tatsue smiled. As if affected by her att.i.tude, Mitaka smiled slightly as well. She looked at him, and suddenly felt she wanted to rely on him. With tears in her eyes, she said: “Mitaka…”

“I am so touched –”

The door was opened with a ‘bam’ and a girl covered in blood appeared, as if she was a zombie straight out of a horror movie.

Tatsue was frozen in fear and Mitaka screamed. The pleasant atmosphere suddenly disappeared and was replaced with the voice of the indiscreet girl: “What – I snuck up here because I felt a weird scent, but it’s the same two people as before! But Mitsuki’s heart is pumping. I don’t really know what’s going on here, but my girly heart is being hip-hop-happy!”

With the majority of her words being incomprehensible, the girl enthusiastically pointed towards the duo with her huge gloves: “Alright. Let me connect your hearts together. I am the angel, Unpleasant Counter-Current. Bringing together lovers should also be my ‘role’! I should say, I should say… your anxious and loving expressing is making. Me. So. Excited!”

“…”

“…”

The girl startled as she looked at Tatsue and Mitaka, whose mouths were hanging open in shock.

“Huh? Sis, none of them are responding.”

“Ki-chan, anyone would get scared if an energetic girl covered in blood pops out. By the way, did you say you’re going to help them? You’re going to help them? Not only are you sparing them, but you’re helping – what’s going on?” The intact head asked with a puzzled expression.

Mitsuki nodded and smiled innocently: “Yep. I like a world where everyone is smiling and everyone is happy. I only pray for a peaceful world where Unpleasant Counter-Current isn’t needed.”

The girl who called herself an angel waved her hand and yelled.

“I. Love. The. World!” She smiled dazzlingly.

“I. Love. Humans!” She then jumped up energetically and turned her back to Tatsue and Mitaka.

“Unpleasant Counter-Current’s greatest wish is not a singular love towards the world or towards humans, but that the world and humans would love each other!”

Finally, she turned around and said: “So I hope you can be together. Well, looks like I interrupted you today. I’m leaving now, and maybe we’ll see each other again in the near future. Everyone, everyone, looooooooooooooove, love more! Love the world – love humans – LOVE & PEACE! LOVE & PEACE!”

The incredible girl yelled with an explosive volume as she left.

Tatsue looked at Mitaka and recalled what Mitsuki said. She couldn’t help but blush.

Although she didn’t go back to the main house and spent the night in his room, she couldn’t say a single word to him out of a strange embarra.s.sment.

– It’s not as if we love each other.

Kannonsakazaki Private High School is an ordinary school without a high university acceptance rate or an excellent extracurricular profile. Tatsue’s mother and family incessantly rebuked her for wanting to study there.

After a lengthy debate, Tatsue was allowed half a year for her folly. Six months later – in October – she would be moved to an elite female-only high school chosen by her mother.

It didn’t make a difference to her. This was not an act of meaningless rebellion towards her family just for the sake of going to a normal high school. There was a reason behind Tatsue’s stubbornness and unreasonable desire to attend this school.

She knew that Sakaki Guryū – the next CEO of the Sakaki Organization, the company that secretly controlled the world – was a staff member here.

This was a widespread fact amongst his inner circles. In fact, every single student in the school knew him as well.

What was the reason that Sakaki discarded his glorious future, ignored the disapprovals, and kept working at this school? That reason was widely known even in the school. Was it solely for the girl named Usagawa Rinne? Or was there some other reason?

Tatsue wanted to know that very much.

Moreover, what kept Sakaki going?

What held him up when facing the monumental responsibility of being the next CEO of the Sakaki Organization, a responsibility that almost suffocated Tatsue? Tatsue wanted to know the reason behind his strength and how he kept living so full of confidence.

It was something that Sakaki possessed, but she did not.

She sought this thing with obsession.

However, contrary to her wishes, Tatsue did not even see Sakaki in the school.

After asking some older students, she was told Sakaki hasn’t turned up at the school since last winter, and that his lover Usagawa Rinne had also disappeared.

How odd – Tatsue pondered. Where could those two have gone? She kept thinking this over. After all, she had plenty of time. The curriculum was something her private tutor had taught her long ago. Moreover, in Kannonsakazaki Private High School, where it was compulsory to wear the school uniform, no one would begin a conversation with Tatsue, who always wore a dress and stood out incongruously.

That’s fine. I’m not here to study or to make friends.

But – if that is true, then why does my heart full so overwhelmingly empty?

“There is a shadow behind you~~ - and you turn back to see Saibara Mitsuki!”

Tatsue, who was asking after Sakaki everywhere during lunch break, heard the thunderous voice of the girl behind her and automatically flattened herself on the ground.

“What – ” Tatsue turned around with wide eyes. She saw Saibara Mitsuki dressed in the Kannonasakazaki school uniform standing behind her, complete with that round-eared hat on her head and curly tail on her behind.

“In – deed – we met again, and so soon and so unexpectedly. I am so happy.” Lifting up hands clad in giant gloves, Mitsuki smiled like a child who successfully carried out a prank. It had been two weeks since she first saw her. However, now she had appeared again, just as she had prophesied yesterday in the servants’ rooms in the Kuroki household.

Tatsue was both scared and surprised. Unable to move, she kept staring at the other girl.

“What – what do you want?”

Tatsue took out the fan that she hid in her dress and pointed it emphatically towards the other girl. Bluffing the best she could, Tatsue asked in a shaking voice: “Why… are you following me? And – what… what are you?”

Tatsue recalled Mitsuki’s inhuman movements and regeneration speed as if the latter came straight out of a manga, and also recalled the incredible counter-attack Mitsuki exhibited after absorbing “Dragon’s Breath”. Tatsue already knew Mitsuki was not a normal human.

Then what was Mitsuki?

Yōkai? Monster? Alien?

“Mmm… my big sis said to me…”

“… this is my big sis.” Mitsuki slightly turned to show the bag she carried behind her and smiled. “She said since we won’t kill you, then we should at least subdue you and use you when we need your help.”

“Ki-chan, I know honesty is a virtue, but you’re far too honest.”

The bag emitted a disappointed sound towards Mitsuki, who revealed all her intentions unreservedly.

But that head was a miraculous existence too. Since Mitsuki called her big sis, then they are sisters?

She was completely lost.

While Tatsue kept a reserved silence, Mitsuki smiled innocently: “Mmm, something like that.”

Then she quickly grabbed Tatsue’s hand and said matter-of-factly: “Let’s be friends.”

Tatsue was so shocked she didn’t know what to say. Mitsuki looked at Tatsue with an innocent, genuine smile, a smile that nevertheless felt as if something was missing from it.

“I want to know about you, and you want to know about us, right? So let’s be friends. We can be honest with each other once we’re friends. It’s easy as that.”

She made it sound as if everything should be that way.

Be friends? Be honest with each other? Such naïve words – wasn’t it you who fully intended to kill us?

For some reason, even though she was thoroughly confused, Tatsue found it impossible to refuse Mitsuki’s innocent proposal.

Now Tatsue thoroughly regretted her decision.

“A Nirvana of sweetness! An Utopia of taste! A Paradise of sensations on the tongue! Oh, it is prepared so well – I will be d.a.m.ned if I eat any more of this stuff!”

They were within a dim café named ‘Indian Bar’ close to the school. Tatsue had never known this place existed, as it was beyond the route of the tram she took to school.

But that wasn’t the important part. Suburban cafés like this all had the same taste in their food. Besides, they weren’t here to enjoy the food. Tatsue didn’t eat snacks, so she'd only ordered a coffee.

However…

They were sitting at a four-seat table in front of an ornamental plant in the unlit café, and the girl in front of her, the one wearing a hat with round ears, was currently enjoying her chocolate parfait.

Tatsue’s curiosity was tickled.

In truth, Tatsue liked sweet foods too. She whispered to Mitaka, who was also sought out by Mitsuki and dragged here, and asked him to order one serving of the same chocolate parfait. Tatsue didn’t have a big appet.i.te and knew she couldn't finish the large and seemingly impossible serving of the parfait, so she planned to share it with Mitaka.

Just for that moment, Tatsue let go of all her anxieties and doubts towards Mitsuki and only waited for the chocolate parfait to arrive.

The shop owner, who looked at them as if they were aliens, finally arrived with another chocolate parfait. Before Mitsuki, who was laughing and saying how delicious it was, Tatsue picked up her spoon and took an elegant bite - and froze.

For a moment, she thought her tongue was going to snap.

It was so sweet –

SO SWEET

“Aaaaaaaaaah, uuuuuuurggghhhhhhhh, urrrrrrrrrrrr – so sweet!!!!”

People say spiciness burns the mouth.

Now Tatsue realized sweetness can also burn your mouth.

Tatsue slammed her hand on the table and writhed painfully, turning her tear-filled eyes towards Mitaka. His reaction, if anything, had been worse, as he was lying on the table and twitching after his bite of this overpowering chocolate parfait.

Tatsue rapidly gulped down some water, but that did nothing to wipe away the infernal sweetness. She had to call the shop owner and order a cup of espresso on the spot.

“What, what, what is this? This is enough to kill a man.”

If anyone ever militarized sucrose, turning it into a lethal weapon, the ultimate result would probably be something like this chocolate parfait. The chocolate was very sweet, the creme was very sweet, the ice cream was very sweet, the syrup was very sweet, and the fruits were very sweet.

Sucrose bombarded Tatsue’s unseasoned taste sensors and flooded her brain. Just one bite was enough to produce this effect. Mitsuki, who took one gulp after another – was definitely not human.

“Hum?” With chocolate stains all around her mouth, Mitsuki tilted her head and asked incredulously: “What’s wrong, Tatsu-chan? Is it too sweet?”

“It’s not just too sweet! It’s sweet enough to make one insane! If you fed this to uncivilized primitives who have never even tasted brown sugar, they will probably die on the spot!” Tatsue yelled, her face all red with anger. She looked at Mitaka, who remained lying on the table, out of the corner of her eye. He was even more pitiable since he had taken a bigger bite of the parfait than Tatsue.

Tatsue closed her eyes and sipped her espresso with a sigh.

On the other hand, Mitsuki looked at her incredulously and continued to scoop more chocolate parfait into her mouth.

“Mmm, you can’t comprehend this delicacy? Poor Tatsu-chan.”

“Are you sure your tongue is normal? It’s not completely numb?”

That aside – Tatsue frowned with a sudden realization.

“Tatsu-chan?”

The three of them briefly introduced themselves in the café before the chocolate parfait was served. They were Kuroki Tatsue, Takamikado Mitaka, and Saibara Mitsuki. Mitsuki also introduced that head – she was Saibara Mina, Mitsuki’s sister.

“Indeed.” Mitsuki pointed at Tatsue matter-of-factly. “Your name is Tatsue, so you’re Tatsu-chan.”

She then pointed to Mitaka, who was still lying on the table and was probably dead: “He is Mitaka, so he’s Mi-chan.”

Lastly, she pointed at herself: “I am Mitsuki, so I’m Mitsu-chan. Together we are – ”

“We don’t need a group name!”

This Mitsuki girl seemed to be mad. Tatsue could not relax around her no matter what, not when she still vividly remembered how the other girl attacked them. However, Mitsuki behaved like a little animal and talked like an innocent child, enough to make one put down one’s guard.

Let us be friends, Mitsuki said.

Tatsue admitted she was not optimistic enough to believe what Mitsuki said.

However, Tatsue noticed her guard was lowering ever so slightly with Mitsuki’s straightforward expressions and cute speech. It was only that… it would be very tiresome to treat Mitsuki seriously.

“Another cup, please.”

Mitsuki said this unbelievable phrase, interrupting Tatsue's thoughts and causing her to spit out the coffee in her mouth.

Tatsue coughed and gasped with wide open eyes: “Do, do you want to die? Do you want to die from sweets? You’re crazy!”

“Huh?” With a confused expression, Mitsuki continued: “I eat four or five cups of chocolate parfaits each time I come here.”

“Four or five cups of this stuff…” Just imagining it was terrifying enough. It would be torture.

“Ki-chan, playtime is over.” Suddenly, there came a cold voice.

Tatsue looked towards the direction where the voice came from. She saw a calm expression on the face of the head in Mitsuki’s bag, which was placed on the seat next to Mitsuki. This extraordinary woman, her long white hair tied into a braid, looked at Tatsue with an expression of barely concealed irritation: “I do apologize. You are Tatsue, right? Let’s speak business.”

“Hmm? Good, good. I would like that.”

More like Tatsue would throw up if she kept watching Mitsuki eat. A wave of burning heat rose up her chest and the discomfort spread from her throat to her stomach.

Tatsue put on a somewhat serious expression and stared straight at the head Mitsuki carried with her: “You are… Mina-san?”

“Yes.”

“She said you were sisters – and…” Even though Tatsue had been trained in all sorts of mannerisms, she did not know how to speak courteously to a head. She carefully chose her words as she inquired about a difficult matter.

“Why do you not have a body?”

“Ahh –” Mina closed her eyes and sighed. “Where should I start? Mmm, let me say first that you are our goal, Tatsue-san.”

“Me?”

These monstrous people were after me?

Tatsue was both terrified and helpless. She looked at Mitaka for support, but he was still pa.s.sed out on the table thanks to the parfait. Mitsuki had already started on the second cup of chocolate parfait, and Tatsue could only continue talking with Mina.

Steeling herself, Tatsue replied with seriousness: “May I ask what do you mean by that?”

“Well –” Mina opened her eyes and stared right back at Tatsue: “Did you know there have been more and more monsters moving around lately?”

Monsters?

Tatsue had never seen any monsters, but she heard about them due to coverage on TV and in newspapers. Monsters – unknown creatures that suddenly started to be seen all over j.a.pan.

They had also produced victims.

Teachers at school had repeatedly urged students to be careful.

After all, the serial killer known as the Long-Armed Demon was just prowling in town a few months ago. Rumor has it ten people died from it.

Everyone was still on high alert.

That was not the fullest extent of the monsters’ damage. She heard there had been disappearances in this town. As these disappearances started at the same time as the monster sightings, some had debated whether there was a connection between the two occurrences.

Tatsue nodded and posed a question: “But Mina-san, what are these monsters? Are they a new species? A mutant species? Or humans who love to kill like the Long-Armed Demon?”

“None of those.” For some reason, Mina looked at Mitaka before turning her eyes back on Tatsue.

“Monsters are enemies of humankind. We hypothesize they usually hide in those planes of existence unperceived by men.”

These words sounded ridiculously abrupt and unbelievable. At the same time, they were spoken by a living head, a creature alien to ordinary life, which actually made them more credible.

Mina sighed and continued: “No one knows what they are or why they appear. All we know is that they exist to kill – no, to eat – humans. Like a pestilence, monsters spread all over the world, slaughtering and devouring humans. They will linger in this world as long as humans keep living.”

Strictly speaking, perhaps they are not even alive – Mina muttered.

“Well, humans are not all that weak either. Perhaps this would not be so bad after all. However, whether monsters end up eliminating humans or humans hunt them to extinction, we do not know their purpose. Were they created by men? Or are they required ‘roles’ in this world like us? No one knows any of that.”

She looked down and furrowed her brows with dissatisfaction: “Ki-chan and I are important ‘characters’, responsible for dealing with monsters. But I lost – as you can see, I was defeated.”

“Are… are you ok?” Tatsue couldn’t help but inquire as the other woman spoke with discontent.

“Can you live only as a head? Or – are you –”

A monster too? As Tatsue hesitated whether or not to ask this, Mina narrowed her eyes as if she read the other girl’s mind.

“As we are no longer humans, we could probably also be considered monsters.”

Then she said quietly:

“We were once humans too.”

Saibara Mitsuki’s dairy, December 4th, 2006

Big sis didn’t come out of her room today either. She didn’t reply when I called for her. I won’t be surprised even if she’s died.

Whatever. Someone as depraved as big sis is better off dead.

The hospital sis worked at called this morning. Looks like sis didn’t turn up to work for no reason. The lady who called herself the head nurse roared down the phone that she would fire sis if she keeps taking unapproved leaves.

I told sis this through her door, but she didn’t respond. Maybe she didn’t care.

All this made me late for school. I should study really hard, so I won’t become someone as depraved as big sis… but even if I graduate from good schools, it would be pointless if I become someone as paranoid as big sis and lock myself in my room.

But if I don’t study hard enough, I’d also be considered depraved in the j.a.panese society, where degrees mean everything.

Big sis needs to die soon.

I haven’t brought her any food since yesterday.

Humans should die in a few days without food, right? And if sis dies, would it be my crime? Mom and Dad are the ones with the role of protecting big sis. It’s all Mom and Dad’s problem. I’m innocent.

I came home early because I was worried about big sis.

I saw through the window that big sis was sleeping in her bed. So unrepentant. Leaving school early will affect my final report at the end of the year. Why did I come back just to check on big sis?

If the police search our house due to big sis’s death by starvation, then this diary might be a problem.

I’ve decided to write in this diary one last time today, then get rid of it.

Seriously, I keep writing pointless stuff. Who’s gonna repay me for all the precious time I spent writing in my diary?

Is big sis still alive? I’ve decided to let her die.

I did nothing wrong. I did nothing wrong.

…

(the diary ended here)

“In the distant past – there was a G.o.d.” Mina continued in a calm tone.

“There was a perfect existence named ‘G.o.d’ at the beginning. Either it was shattered, or it was never whole to start with – I believe it was the latter. Anyways, G.o.d became scattered all over the world.”

This story was so immense, so incredible, and so unbelievable. However, Tatsue continued to listen quietly.

Mitaka had already woken up. Apart from Mitsuki, who kept greedily eating the chocolate parfait, everyone at the table was very solemn.

“G.o.d broke into seven Greater Fragments and innumerable smaller Fragments. The duties of Creation, Judgement, and Governance – these Divine ‘roles’ – were separated into seven equal parts and entrusted to the seven Greater Fragments.

Mina stared at Tatsue and admitted freely: “We are the humans who inherited Greater Fragments. We do not know why we were chosen –”

Then she lowered her eyes and continued: “I have lost my Greater Fragment and vacated my ‘role’ – however, I was the ‘role’ that men called Sterilization Disinfection.”

Sterilization Disinfection.

A suggestive and disconcerting phrase.

“Sterilization Disinfection, Unpleasant Counter-Current, Single Room, G.o.d Mus.h.i.+ Emperor, Tear song, Catastrophe, The Weakest… Only seven Great Fragments were created. G.o.d Mus.h.i.+ Emperor called us the seven Kobito.”

Mina said with some displeasure. Her usually unchanging countenance twisted with unhappiness.

The seven Kobito.

That really sounds like the seven dwarves in Snow White.

“Anyways, Catastrophe and Tear song are all fake names. I don’t know their real names. Perhaps they don’t even have human names. Out of convenience, most of us use the names given to us by G.o.d Mus.h.i.+ Emperor.”

Having finished all this in one breath, Mina then continued: “The ‘role’ of Sterilization Disinfection is to remove the enemies of the world or to erase fallen humans – ‘destroying evil’ would sum it up. It is my job to kill monsters.”

She looked sideways at Mitsuki, who sat next to her and eating the chocolate parfait with a trance-like expression.

“Ki-chan is Unpleasant Counter-Current. Her ‘role’ is retribution. Committing evil would result in the same evil being done to you. You have probably learnt about this in school, correct? Retribution- punishment according to the sin – is the Unpleasant Counter-Current within Ki-chan.”

Retribution sounded like a Buddhist term. Various religions more or less have the same idea among them. Like Mina said, this moral concept had been taught time and again in families and school apart from religious teachings.

Retribution.

The ‘role’ of G.o.d punis.h.i.+ng evil.

“She distributed punishment after having reflected back the person’s evil. Ultimately, she can kill sinners with pure justice. That also gave her the weakness of being unable to kill someone with no evil intent. Therefore, there was no purpose in considering which one of our Fragments is better.” Mina added, still looking at Tatsue.

“Let us pick up where we left off. The shattered “G.o.d” harbors the instinct to reunite all its parts and wishes to return to the perfect existence after having collected all the Fragments – that is the divine will of G.o.d. That is also my ultimate goal –”

Mina looked at Mitaka, and her expression briefly became hideous.

“– But I was hindered and failed over and over, and have yet to achieve that goal. Greater Fragments and Lesser Fragments all enter human hosts through certain processes, which allows humans to inherit them and keep this world operational… it is extremely difficult to collect Fragments.”

Fragments – these things live on humans as parasites and were spread all over the world as a result? Mina, who was chosen as a Greater Fragment, made it her goal to collect these Fragments.

The scope of this event was so immense that it was almost unimaginable. Although Tatsue could somewhat understand it, she didn’t feel it to be real, as if she had just heard a legend or a fairytale.

Looking at Mina’s head, Tatsue recalled Mitsuki’s inhuman movements from a while ago.

She then thought of her ability, Dragon’s Breath.

And the abnormal increase in the amount of monsters –

This was not a fake story, but actual fact.

“The same applies to my ability?”

Mina smiled at Tatsue’s words. “Your ability to control the wind is very similar to Tear song’s, which I am familiar with. However – you don’t have a Fragment in you.”

Tatsue didn’t understand the significance of that.

But what Mina said after that shook her mindset.

“Our abilities… Take me as an example. I can spray out a mist from my spray cans, a mist that can completely annihilate anything in existence. That requires a phenomenal amount of energy. Fragments are crystallizations of immense amounts of energy. I can use my power over and over again as long as I have a Fragment.”

Mina then looked at Tatsue: “But the energy within one human is pitifully small compared to a Fragment.”

What did that mean?

Tatsue was starting to get a bad feeling as she looked at Mina. Mitsuki, as if she had been listening in, informed Tatsue: “Tatsu-chan, your abilities are not fully developed. I don’t think you used up too much energy, but you are only a normal human. If you continue like this, you’d lose enough energy in a month for your entire existence to collapse and die.”

“What –”

Die?

Tatsue didn’t comprehend those words. She looked at her fingers and curled them up, then stretched them open again. She was still alive.

I will die – in a month?

It did not feel real.

“Really?”

“Ki-chan doesn’t lie. She won’t pull something like that.” Mina’s tone was mechanical as she stated these facts.

“Humans use their ‘soul’ – what we call energy – to move our body. Once we grow old, sick, or wounded, part of their ‘soul’ is spent to cure those things. Energy can be replenished from eating other living creatures. However, as expenditure usually exceeds supply, humans would die sooner or later – that was the lifespan of humans.”

“Either a Greater Fragment or a Lesser Fragment would render the holder immortal, as every Fragment is a crystallization of huge amounts of energy. Not only do we lose the concept of aging through losing energy, we also don’t need to eat to replenish our energy. I don’t eat chocolate parfait to survive, but only because I like it~” Mitsuki explained while smiling. She had already finished three cups of the chocolate parfait and showed no sign of slowing down anytime soon.

Tatsue couldn’t think. She was been bombarded with so many truths about the world, and on top of that the conclusion that she will die. Mitaka’s expression became gloomy and he murmured: “So that’s why –”. He seemed to have understood something.

“Well, let us end this long conversation.” Mina said this as she looked at Tatsue.

“Tatsue-san, let us make a deal in order to have the best future for the both of us. Our goal is to collect all the Fragments and revert back to ‘G.o.d’.”

“I don’t mind even if I don’t return to ‘G.o.d’, but I will help big sis if that’s what she wants.” Mitsuki smiled innocently.

Tatsue realized a shade of remorse was pa.s.sing over Mina’s face. It was a very human expression.

But Mina's countenance soon reverted to expressionless, as she continued in a decisive tone: “I believe your goal is to obtain immortality. If you are willing to help us, then I promise to help you to evade the ever-expanding number of monsters and the certainty of your impeding death.”

“We’re doing this as your friends.” Mitsuki interrupted her. Mina sighed at this, but the older woman soon recomposed herself: “These means of protecting your life are my part of the deal. The truths of the world I just told you are free.”

Tatsue considered this. If what they said was true, then she would soon crumble and die.

Although she could feel nothing odd with her body, it would be terrifying if it was true.

If that was true – accepting the others’ proposal would be the only way for Tatsue to survive.

Tatsue replied cautiously as she looked back at Mina’s beautiful face: “There’s no such a thing as a free deal. What do you want from me in exchange for my life?”

“Oh, don’t put on that kind of scary expression. We are not devils and won’t ask for your soul. Like I said, our goal is you, Tatsue-san. You are more special than you think.”

Special.

This word has a strange charm for Tatsue, who had been reared as her elder brother’s spare copy.

“Put bluntly, it is your ability we’re after.” Mina said this decisively with a serious face.

“It wasn’t only that you, as a mere human, somehow has a part of Tear song’s ability. As Tear song is a traitor who betrayed the goal of gathering Greater Fragments, who did not wish to revert to the form of G.o.d, I want to know if you can become the key to defeating Tear song, who was always extremely cautious… more importantly, you are an unique existence that does not exist even to my extensive knowledge.”

Looking like an inhuman artwork made by a madman, the beautiful head showed an expression like a girl longing for love: “I long for more knowledge. There are perhaps facts in this world unknown even to me. I want to find them, and use them – I want to revert to the perfect whole.” She looked at Tatsue with an eager, human glance.

“Help me, Tatsue-san – help me achieve that goal. I won’t harm you. If you are still offended towards my rudeness from before, then you are free to boil or roast me whenever you wish.”

“Why?” Tatsue, all pale, squeezed out that word.

“Why are you so…”

Why do you hope to revert to the form of ‘G.o.d’, even if it means you have to go through such pains?

“Well –” Mina murmured: “If you are aware that your current self is not your true self, can you endure that? If you know it’s possible to become a different and bettering being, can you not wish for that? That is what I wish for. That is all.”

That wish – in some ways, that is a dream.

Tatsue understood that thoroughly.

She knew how painful it is to discover she is not herself.

“I understand.” Tatsue nodded and looked at Mina.

“I don’t have a choice either way. Let alone my certain death or encountering a monster, I will be dead if you ever decide to attack me again. I also want to know the truth behind this – ability.”

Tatsue gazed at Mina. The young girl’s forced elegance was long gone. Both her shoulders and her voice shook, but the pride in her eyes refused to disappear.

“I hate leaving things half-done, so let me accompany you two sisters even to the deepest levels of h.e.l.l.”

“Tatsue –” Mitaka looked anxiously at Tatsue. However, Tatsue had made up her mind. She wanted to know exactly who she is and keep living. She really didn’t have any other choice.

“Success!” Mina smiled, then said with a soft voice.

“You won’t die now… Ki-chan!” Mitsuki just finished her chocolate parfait. Mina cast her a cold look.

“Let Tatsue-san eat your flesh.”

“Huh? Well, I don’t mind if that’s what big sis says –”

Tatsue was stunned speechless. She couldn’t believe Mitsuki would answer so easily. Eat… eat flesh? Is this some kind of metaphor? Or is it literally –

“Didn’t I explain it before?”

Mina motioned with her eyes for Tatsue to calm down, and continued: “The only way to obtain energy is to obtain a Fragment or eat other living beings. Mitsuki’s body, full with the power of her Greater Fragment, is the best food! Compared to normal processed food, which are only energy sc.r.a.ps to us, she is hundreds and thousands of times greater than those, correct? You can perhaps gain an energy store even greater than an ordinary Lesser Fragment.”

“But, but –”

Tatsue was perplexed. To eat human flesh – to eat the flesh of an innocent girl who was talking with her right now – how can she possibly eat it?

“Oh, haha, so you weren’t serious about accompanying us to the bottom of h.e.l.l?”

Mina smiled coldly, and continued cruelly: “It is a normal to eat human flesh in h.e.l.l, no?”

That’s a Buddhist creed – Mina muttered and looked up at Mitsuki.

“No. Tatsue-san, you can’t turn back now. Throw away everything you believed in up to yesterday. Believe that you’ve completely lost your common sense and ordinary life. The world you will live in from now on is a world of myths, where human sentiments do not exist. You are now a character in the story between humanity and G.o.d.”

“Mmm – is this enough for flesh?” Mitsuki muttered as a creaking sound was heard.

Nerves. Bones. Muscles. Fat. Skin.

Creak creak.

Blood.

She cut off her own arm.

“Teehee.” As if she was taking off her s.h.i.+rt, Mitsuki smiled as she put her arm on the table.

“Good good, Tatsu-chan. You’ll be saved if you eat this. If you run out of energy, you’ll collapse. You’ll be alright if you absorb enough energy!

“You, you –”

Freak. Crazy. Cut off her own arm then told others to eat it – so abnormal!

Tatsue had felt something wrong from the start. Mitsuki’s cheerful personality was so unnatural, and she didn’t seem to attach any value to her body. Her innocence was as unnatural as an inhuman angel.

“A Greater Fragment – has side effects that don’t come with Lesser Fragments.” Mina explained calmly to Tatsue, who was s.h.i.+vering: “Once we’re forced to perform the ‘roles’ of G.o.d, our personalities would be twisted according to the needs of that ‘role’. I was adjusted to desire perfection and pristine cleanliness, and detest evil. It was a personality fitting for Sterilization Disinfection – As you have seen, Unpleasant Counter-Current removed all negative thoughts from Ki-chan’s mind.”

Her voice echoed sadly.

“Everyone has evil thoughts, right? Envy, hatred, avarice, sadness – people without these emotions only exist in stories and not in the real world. However, in order to re-direct evil, Unpleasant Counter-Current must not have any negative emotions of her own. She must be the reincarnation of unbiased retribution and absolute justice. Therefore, all negative thoughts within Ki-chan had been completely wiped away.

She sighed and looked up at her smiling younger sister.

“Ki-chan’s mind already broke under the burden of the Fragment.”

“It is perhaps hard to believe this just from looking at her, but Ki-chan – she was not someone as innocent and childish as you see today.”

Mina said in a groaning voice as she looked at Mitsuki. The latter was drinking from a cup of water, looking totally innocent with her giant gloves.

Mitsuki only showed a puzzled expression as if she didn’t understand what they were talking about.

“The little sister in my memories – Saibara Mitsuki – is a girl who was dishonest, stubborn, and won’t even be praised even if she tried to be courteous. She had a very short temper, threw stuff, swore at others, and was a hysterical girl in general.”

Tatsue couldn’t help but look towards Mitsuki, She couldn’t imagine that this girl, her mouth dirtied with chocolate cream and smiling optimistically, would behave in such a way.

So the adverse effect of the Greater Fragments was personality alterations?

“We were only planted with Greater Fragments a few years ago. We could not understand what was happening, had no idea, and we didn’t know why Mitsuki would have such personality changes –” As Mina said this, she suddenly looked away at a distance.

“Have you heard of the Jimmu Emperor?

“Jimmu?”

She has heard of this name before.

Jimmu Emperor was the first Emperor of j.a.pan according to the Kojiki, the record of j.a.panese mythologies. He was a foreign prince who arrived on j.a.pan, slaughtered the original inhabitants, created the Yamato Empire, and created the imperialism that continued until today. He was an almost divine figure.

As Tatsue recalled what she learnt in j.a.panese History cla.s.ses, she realized the Jimmu Emperor Mina spoke of was perhaps not the same person as the Jimmu Emperor in the Kojiki.

“The Jimmu Emperor – G.o.d Mus.h.i.+ Emperor – was a Greater Fragment of the same level as Disinfection Sterilization and Unpleasant Counter-Current. His ‘role’ was Revelations. You probably won’t understand this sudden explanation, but you’re free to just listen. The G.o.d Mus.h.i.+ Emperor split his body into six hundred and sixty-six equal parts, and each became a terminal he could remotely control. Using these parts, he will appear before those who obtained Fragments and communicate with them. That’s what he is.”

His ‘role’ is Revelations? He split his body into six hundred and sixty-six parts?

Although she couldn’t understand these sudden words, Tatsue decided not to ask anything and keep listening to Mina.

The café owner had already disappeared. Mitsuki also finished her chocolate parfait. Saying “I’ll help you to make it easier to eat”, she sliced up her arm with her sole remaining hand and placed the meat into the chocolate parfait cup.

Tatsue tried her best not to look at this scene.

Even though she was apprehensive of having to eat that thing soon after, she still looked at Mina with a honest expression.

Mina also nodded. She looked up at her little sister, who kept working away innocently at her terrifying dissections, and kept talking: “The six hundred and sixty-six equal parts of G.o.d Mus.h.i.+ Emperor – those terminals – were called Mus.h.i.+, or flying insects. They are the split-bodies of the red-eyed G.o.d Mus.h.i.+ Emperor, and they will definitely appear in front of people like us, who have come into possession of a Greater Fragment.”

“Mus.h.i.+ –” Mitaka’s eyes widened. Without noticing this, Mina continued.

“As to why they would appear – they were here to explain.”

“Explain?” Tatsue repeated this word. Mina smiled.

“Yes, just like how I am explaining these to you know.” She looked back at Tatsue and went on: “That seems to be the ‘role’ of G.o.d Mus.h.i.+ Emperor. Everything I am telling you now, such as Fragments, monsters, or the Seven Kobito – that knowledge was all told to me by the Mus.h.i.+, those terminals of G.o.d Mus.h.i.+ Emperor.”

There always seemed to be some hatred in her voice. She quickly changed back to the previous topic.

“I also heard this from G.o.d Mus.h.i.+ Emperor – humans with a Greater Fragment inserted into them must die once. Die, and be reborn. In other words, our souls and bodies were changed. That even extended to our minds, and we became creatures very much different from what we were before.”

Mitsuki’s supernatural regeneration powers and the unbelievable strength from her frail body –

Were that all because she had a Greater Fragment inserted within her, was resurrected, and had her flesh modified into something else?

Tatsue gave up considering those hair-splitting details, and she could only try to swallow down as much of Mina’s words as possible.

She’ll have to reconsider the details later.

After all, her science-oriented, logical brain would probably be more confused even if she did consider it.

Then, as if suddenly remembering her past, Mina spoke quietly.

“When I was still a human – it was a shame to admit it, but I was an antisocial recluse. Even with the hospital I was employed at – I was once a nurse – I didn’t go to work. I only shut myself up in my room. I didn’t want to interact with anyone, I didn’t want to be hurt by anyone, and I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I refused everything in the world.”

It was hard to think this was how Mina was, who was now so determined and self-possessed. Did a personality change also happen on her?

Tatsue listened attentively to Mina as she thought this.

“My parents, who lived with me, who didn’t care about me, soon give up on their daughter. But my little sister – Ki-chan – was different. She was an ill-tempered and obnoxious girl, but I think she was a good and gentle child. She would cook for me, do my laundry. She would lecture me almost every day and generally take care of me.” Mina’s face was covered with sadness and her black irises glittered.

“But Tatsue-san… at the end, that was a form of dependence.”

“Dependence?”

Tatsue couldn’t grasp what Mina meant. Confused, she asked: “What… does that mean?”

“Well –”

After a brief consideration, Mina replied with a calm tone: “Ki-chan was a proud girl, like all kids during their rebellious years. She couldn’t stand her surroundings and looked down on everyone else. Wouldn’t such a kid be despised? Ki-chan was indeed despised. She was always alone. No one loved her, and I suppose she must have been very lonely. Therefore, she did her best to take care of me, hoping I would thank her. She always swore at me, but her fragile pride would not last without me constantly showing her my grat.i.tude. Do you understand? That was dependence, no?”

Tatsue listened with a heavy expression. She understood very well the loneliness that came with solitude. Looking at Tatsue, Mina furrowed her brows. She decided not to think about this anymore and continued: “Ki-chan soon became completely dependent on me, who would thank her whenever she brought me food. She no longer cared about anything else. She took care of me, and was satisfied with my grat.i.tude. She did not communicate with anyone else and only sought my affection, which was so easily given… then I decided that it