A Twofold Life Part 19

_Heinrich_ knit his brow as he looked at the picture. "I should not have the courage to choose this Lady. Those eyebrows, that pouting, scornful mouth."

"Yes, Ottilie's pleases me far better," said the prince.

"And besides, I see no object in this marriage. What is an alliance with the little country of D---- to a prince like your Highness?

Princess Ottilie, on the contrary, is immensely rich; more friendly relations with the court of H---- would be desirable in every respect, and Ottilie is a Catholic; she might--that is----"

A clock struck ten. The prince started up.

"The council must begin. Ottmar, you are my amba.s.sador; set out on your journey to-morrow morning, and negotiate the matter for me at the court of H----. Consult the physicians, and if you think it advisable, in G.o.d's name win Ottilie for my wife! From all you say she will be best suited to me. The sacrifice must be made at once. Farewell till we meet in the council of state, dear count."

Thus was the weal or woe of a n.o.ble, precious life decided, and again _Heinrich's_ egotism demanded a victim. Accident had thrown one into his hands in the person of Ottilie. _Heinrich's_ resolution was firm.

He knew that if Ottilie became his protectress at the court of N---- his power would be unbounded and immovable; for he did not doubt that with her intellect she must succeed in ruling the prince as well as the country. In any case, his influence over her was more a.s.sured than it could be over a princess who was a stranger to him; so a marriage with the latter must be prevented at any cost: it might baffle all his hopes. When he pa.s.sed through the antechamber, his plan was already formed, and around his lips played the triumphant smile which was always visible when he guided men like puppets. Every preparation was immediately made for the journey:

"Anton," said _Heinrich_, during the packing, "didn't you see anything of Princess Ottilie on your way through H----?"

"No, Herr Baron. She seldom drives out, for she is much worse than she used to be."

"Anton, for Heaven's sake, do me the favor not to tell any one that! Do you hear? Finish the packing, and then go this very night to the Hohmeier'sche Restaurant; there you will find the valet of the prince's confessor, Ehrhardt,--they will point him out to you if you ask for him; join him as if by chance. Tell him about H----, and turn the conversation upon the Princess Ottilie. Then say what you know of her beauty, her piety, etc. See that you have as many listeners as possible,--the more the better. Speak of her hair, her eyes, but especially her generosity; in short, make their mouths water, but do not allow any design to be perceived."

"I understand, Herr Baron," said Anton, smiling. "I'll manage as carefully as possible, and to-morrow the whole city shall be full of the princess's praises."

"That is right, my old friend. I don't think you forgot anything in the village," said _Heinrich_, well pleased.

He wanted to see Cornelia again, but the evening was spent in making various preparations for his journey, and his plan of obtaining Ottilie for the prince required thought and time for consideration. He would compensate himself for the sacrifice after his return, and meantime devote himself entirely to his mission. "How am I to appear before her?--how am I to woo her for another without offending her, when I know that she has loved me, perhaps does still?" This question engrossed his mind, and its difficulties had a peculiar charm for him.

In the course of the evening a court official brought a bill of exchange for five thousand florins for "Count Ottmar's steward, Albert Preheim." The prince had given him this sum from his own private purse as a sort of compensation for his sufferings. He would not allow himself to be humbled by _Heinrich's_ proud reserve, and thus made amends for the injustice which had thrown Albert entirely upon _Heinrich_ for a.s.sistance.

Albert's joy knew no bounds, but his grat.i.tude to _Heinrich_, whom he considered the indirect cause of this favor, was even greater. Thus they set out on their journey, Albert and Anton as happy men, while he to whom both owed their good fortune, whom both loved and honored, knew no happiness, no peace, dest.i.tute of support in himself, and unsympathizing even towards those to whom he showed kindness. Already the city lay behind him. He looked back towards Cornelia's house, from thence the dawn would crimson the horizon, from thence his sun would rise to pour light and warmth upon him, and with foreboding longing he gazed over the snow-covered fields towards the golden streaks in the east. The morning air blew icily over his brow; here and there under the snow lay dry branches of frozen weeds; not a bird, not an insect, was stirring far or near: frozen nature was silently awaiting the spring. It was even so with him. His mission, his petty intrigues, everything at that moment retreated into the background, and covered itself with the icy mantle of eternal indifference. From that strip of light life must come to rescue him and lure fresh germs from the frozen clods. The rising sun threw its rosy glimmer into his eyes till they filled with tears; it seemed as if they flowed from his own breast, as if his own feelings and not the light had called them forth, and he might shed more. But he was mistaken, for when he turned his eyes from the dazzling rays the treacherous fountain dried. The unfeeling man could not weep: the blessing of tears was denied him; and the vanished spell left the egotist cold and unsatisfied.

XIII.

A SACRIFICE.

Directly after his arrival, _Heinrich_ went to Ottilie's physician to make inquiries about the state of her health. It was of importance to himself to be correctly informed in this respect; for it would have been very useless to base his ambitious plans upon one doomed to an early death. With her, these, and perhaps even the favor of the prince, might sink into the grave; since he had described her as healthy, the responsibility would fall upon him if she died. The physician, it is true, said that she was delicate, but, according to the principles of the old school, declared that her illness was a nervous one; and _Heinrich_ boldly requested a private audience with Ottilie to obtain her consent before he presented himself to the Prince of H---- as an amba.s.sador.

As he pa.s.sed through the antechamber, a fair-haired little waiting-maid issued from Ottilie's room, glided by, starting violently as she caught sight of him, and disappeared through a side door. _Heinrich_ perceived with astonishment that it was Roschen. The servant ushered him into the reception-room. The uniform, unvarying stream of hot air from a Russian stove vibrated around him with suffocating sultriness, increased by the fragrance of numberless flowers grouped in hot-house fas.h.i.+on in the lofty windows of stained gla.s.s. The heavy carpets and portieres exhaled warmth; it seemed to _Heinrich_ as if his lungs were bursting with the longing for a breath of fresh air. He dreaded this first meeting, for in Ottilie's presence his insolent frivolity deserted him, and he stood before her as if she were his conscience. The fervent heat and deathlike stillness that surrounded him increased his embarra.s.sment.

There is something strange in the official silence of royal apartments, which rouses the greatest excitement and impatience in any one who is anxiously awaiting an important audience. This was the case with _Heinrich_. He wished to repeat what he was to say to Ottilie, but could no longer remember it. "How shall I appear before her?" was his only thought; and the polished courtier feared this great soul whose prophetic vision had penetrated his inmost heart, and which he now approached like a thief, to try to steal it for his own plans.

A clock struck twelve, and was answered from every side by a mult.i.tude of larger and smaller ones, whose buzzing and humming lasted several minutes; then all was silent as before. _Heinrich_ uttered a deep sigh.

Why did she linger so long? Was she, too, obliged to collect her thoughts, and could she not obtain the composure needed to receive him?

"Oh, G.o.d! if she should love me still!" he thought, wiping the cold perspiration from his brow.

Just then a door opened noiselessly,--he did not notice it,--and Ottilie floated across the room as lightly as if her feet did not touch the carpet.

_Heinrich_ started as if roused from a dream, when, beautiful as a glorified spirit, she stood before him. Both looked at each other a moment in silence neither could find words; their souls were too full for the narrow forms of speech.

At last Ottilie held out her hand to him, and there was deep sadness in her expression as she said, "Is it really you?"

"I understand the reproof in your question, princess," replied _Heinrich_. "I was prepared for it; and yet accompanied with that voice and glance, it now pierces deep into my breast. As the amba.s.sador of my princely master, I had courage to appear before you--as your friend. My heart trembles, for I well know I shall not bear your sublime, angelic judgment."

Ottilie motioned to him to be seated. "Yes," she began, after a pause, "I had wished to see you a different man, and I do not even know whether I still have the right to tell you so."

"Speak! heap upon my head the whole burden of your accusation, princess."

"Do not fear reproaches from me. All that there is to be said I represented to you, if I remember rightly, long ago. You did not obey my warning voice; what was useless then will also be vain now."

_Heinrich_ covered his eyes with his hand, as if obliged to conceal his tears; and yet it was not all hypocrisy, for it really seemed to him as if a pang of remorse shot through his breast.

Ottilie remained silent for a long time.

"Be merciful, princess," pleaded _Heinrich_; "you reproach me with my change of opinions, but you do not know what may exert an influence over a life, how even the most independent man may be forced into a course contrary to his wishes, and where he must be untrue to himself; therefore be charitable, princess; do not give me up!"

"Ah, how could I!" exclaimed Ottilie, in an outburst of feeling. "Do you not see that I grieve for you, pity you, deeply and sincerely? I do not accuse you; but let me lament that you have defrauded yourself of all true happiness. Do not tell me the career you have adopted satisfies you; in it you can neither follow your own convictions nor develop your talents. I speak now as a woman who has done with self, who is bound to life by no wish, no hope. What have you made of yourself, Ottmar? How have you used the gifts G.o.d so richly, so abundantly, bestowed? I have carefully watched your political activity; alas that I must say it you have fallen lower in my eyes the higher you rose in the world. Forgive the harshness," she pleaded, extending her hand to him, "it is the most heartfelt anxiety that speaks from my lips. Do you not see the double danger to which you are exposed? You are robbing yourself of your moral freedom as well as the nation of its political rights; you are servilely bending your n.o.ble soul to the dominion of principles in which you do not believe, making yourself the slavish supporter of an impotent reaction. Thus you are losing your intrinsic dignity, and sooner or later your influence as a statesman; for a new and invincible spirit, purer than that of the revolution, is pervading the nations,--the spirit of a profound political knowledge.

We cannot subdue this with cannon, nor shut it into prisons; where we believe it to be shattered, it unites again above our heads. It is the child of the age, and unceasingly advances, demanding its rights. And you, instead of throwing yourself into the free current and allowing your breast to expand with the universal impulse, prop yourself with narrow-hearted blindness against the crumbling steps of a throne, to withstand the weight of the approaching shock. You will fall, and as an enemy of ideas which you cherish with every drop of your blood, fall a victim to your hypocrisy, not your convictions. Then you will seek to find compensation in yourself, and perceive with despair that by your perpetual untruthfulness you have destroyed yourself."

"It is very possible," murmured _Heinrich_.

"Oh, believe me; through many a sleepless night I have stretched out my hand to you to draw you out of the gulf into which I saw you sinking.

Yet I still trust you; what you did could not estrange me. I still hope, still pray for you; I can say no more than I have already done; but I know that although you have not yet listened to me, quiet hours will come, hours of repentance, when my long silent words will unite with the voice of your conscience,--then, perhaps, you will obey me."

_Heinrich_ seized Ottilie's hands and gazed into her sparkling eyes. A deep blush was glowing upon her cheeks. "Ah, the old magic! Ottilie, Ottilie," he cried, "I fear I am too deeply entangled in hypocrisy! If you could read my soul you would reject me."

"This is one of the moments of depression which utterly subdue such natures. To-morrow, in another mood, you will smile at it. But it is true that you think yourself worse than you really are, that you have less faith in yourself than I in you. Every power needs to be used, even that of the soul. Exert your strength in doing right, then you will first ascertain your own capabilities."

"Ah, princess, how am I to help myself? I know not; I have gone astray into this path, and cannot find strength to retrace my steps. I am well aware that my political career is not in accordance with the spirit of the age; when I entered upon it I really had no other thought than to save myself from a momentary humiliation by the Jesuits, and therefore considered my position in N---- a mere episode. But by degrees my success, and the magnificent means at my command for the advancement of my apparent purposes, charmed me. My influence over the prince tempted me irresistibly. The power he placed in my hands roused all the ambition of my nature. Power, Ottilie, has often transformed a hero into a despot. This being the history of my political development, everything else follows as a matter of course. As everything was at the command of the feared and admired favorite, I felt myself justified in enjoying all. That, in so doing, I formed many a sacred tie only to break it again, and profaned many a bond that already existed,--everything was considered allowable, because everything was granted to me,--you will of course suppose. But I will confess to you, to you alone of all human beings, that this haughty, envied Ottmar became a crushed, wearied, joyless man, an egotist,--who does not even love himself. I can no longer distinguish between truth and falsehood; for everything has two sides, and, as no voice within my breast pleads for either, I decide in favor of the one which will bring me the most immediate advantage. There is no philanthropy in my nature, and thus I make men happy or miserable according as it will be profitable or injurious to myself. I perceive that all this is reprehensible; I envy those who act from principle; I would fain be virtuous, yet cannot discover what virtue is; for my blase feelings make me perceive, in all the dogmas of religion, morality, and philosophy, only arbitrary beliefs without any eternal foundation, which change at every advance of the nations in civilization, are now wrested here, now there, nay, even dependent upon the fas.h.i.+on of the day; and thus I have formed the despairing conclusion, that there is no virtue, believe the loathing of my own deeds which sometimes seizes upon me to be a relic of old school prejudices, and despise myself. Therefore I have no rule of conduct for my acts except advantage; and when this is obtained, it does not make me happy. I scorn it, as well as the men by whose weakness I won it!"

Ottilie had hung upon his words in breathless suspense. This frank self-accusation had borne her along with it, and she was obliged to collect her thoughts before she could reply.

"Then you are even more unhappy, more worthy of commiseration, than I feared. All lofty, independent natures yield unwillingly to the human law of right and wrong; for the same power which instilled the theories of goodness lives also in them and justifies them in giving its law to themselves. But in you, my friend, this power was only sufficient to dissolve existing beliefs, not to make them unnecessary to you, for you are now wandering, unsupported, without any clear standard of measurement, amid the ruins of your shattered world of ideas. You are seeking for a higher divine law, and because it does not reveal itself to you you despair of virtue. It would be useless to refer you to religion, for you do not believe it; but even without religion a man of lofty character feels a moral want, which, without regard to reward or punishment, impels him toward the right. Though such a man is never quite happy, for only faith can give the highest joy, he will yet experience that peace which a pure conscience bestows. But you have destroyed even this. Your heart is desolate, your soul flutters wearily upon the ground. I no longer see deliverance, blessing, or hope for you. So I must behold the fairest work G.o.d and nature ever made, the n.o.ble image in which I joy with reverent admiration, sink into the dust, and stand powerless, unable to stretch out a hand to save for G.o.d a soul which he has favored beyond all others. Alas, Ottmar! By the sorrow in my own heart, I feel how your Creator mourns over you!" She leaned back upon the sofa and wept aloud.

_Heinrich_ could not resist the contagion of her emotion. For the first time the request he was about to make seemed like sacrilege, and yet he could not give up all his carefully matured plans for the sake of a "fit of sentimentality," as he mentally called it. He perceived that she clung to him with unchanging affection, and that no political considerations whatever would induce her to wed with such a nature as that of the prince. If he won her, it would only be by means of his influence over the heart so susceptible to his power. Years before she had taken an oath that she would never become his wife, so she must either part with him or marry his ruler. The more she loved him the greater was his power over her, the more surely he would succeed in convincing her that she could not live without him. Thus he was compelled to throw the whole weight of his own personal attractions into the scale, and there was a strange blending of honesty and hypocrisy in his plan of persuasion. He really felt what he wished to say, but his manner of turning it to account was artfully calculated, and converted truth into falsehood. "Your Highness," he exclaimed, at last, "I have come to bring you a crown; but at this moment I see a halo s.h.i.+ning around your head, and can scarcely venture to offer the pitiful diadem of royalty. Princess, it is of great importance to my interests to bind you to the country in which I play a part; I came here to obtain your hand for the prince, to cunningly win your consent, even at the cost of your happiness. But before your n.o.ble nature all the arts of diplomacy dissolve into nothing. Therefore, my friend, I will leave you free to choose, will not steal the decision of your destiny, but tell you frankly that it is from selfishness I press my master's offer, for I wish, I long, to have you near me. Your character is formed, your opinions are matured, you will advise me when G.o.d is silent in my own breast. You will aid me to give a new direction to our politics, one more in harmony with the spirit of the age; supported by you, I will venture it, without you I cannot. Look, Ottilie, the crafty diplomatist is prostrate in the dust before your victorious truthfulness, and prattles out his whole programme like a school-boy. I do not plead for the country whose salvation you would be, nor in the name of a philanthropy I have never known, but by which I might win your gentle heart; I do not implore you to aid a nation I helped to crush: I renounce all this acting, and plead simply and openly for myself; for in this hour I perceive more clearly than ever what you are to me. If I have hitherto thought I needed you for the attainment of certain advantages, I now know that you will do more for me by teaching me to despise as well as dispense with them."

Ottilie gazed silently into vacancy; her breath came more quickly, and her hands were burning as though with fever.

"I know," continued _Heinrich_, "that it is the sacrifice of your whole life; but you have yourself given me the courage to ask it, for you give me the belief that you will make it."

"Oh, G.o.d I what do you ask?" Ottilie began. "You wish me to marry,--to destroy my life! Is it possible? Have I deserved this from you? You wish to lure me from my home to a desolate career of grandeur, to chain me to a man whom I know to be a cold-hearted weakling, and scorn as a mere tool in the hands of the oppressors of his people. And by the painful act I am to perform I do not even make one person happy."

"Ottilie, how can you say so? Thousands will lavish blessings upon you, the grat.i.tude of thousands will recompense you, if the happiness of one whom your presence can transform into another man does not reward you,"

cried _Heinrich_, reproachfully.

"Ottmar, if I knew that I should be permitted to exert a good influence over you, no sacrifice would seem too great. But you are deceiving yourself now, as usual. You are easily moved, easily excited: the moment carries you away with it; the present person is in the right with you, and when you turn your back upon this room the emotions you have experienced will be effaced with all their impressions. What influence did I exert over you while you lived in H----? It would be precisely the same thing again, and then I should not even be allowed the one consolation of mourning for you unheeded, in quiet solitude."

"Do you think me so unstable?"