Advice to a Mother on the Management of Her Children Part 13

Bakers' bread is certainly the lightest; and, if we could depend upon its being unadulterated, would, from its lightness, be the most wholesome; but as we cannot always depend upon bakers' bread, home-made bread, as a rule should be preferred. If it be at all heavy, a child must not be allowed to partake of it; a baker's loaf ought then to be sent for, and continued to be eaten until light home-made bread can be procured. Heavy bread is most indigestible. He must not be allowed to eat bread until it be two or three days old. If it be a week old, in cold weather, it will be the more wholesome.

162. _Do you approve either of caraway seeds or of currants in bread or in cakes--the former to disperse wind, the latter to open the bowels_?

There is nothing better than plain bread: the caraway-seeds generally pa.s.s through the bowels undigested, and thus might irritate, and might produce, instead of disperse wind. [Footnote: Although caraway seeds _whole_ are unwholesome, yet caraway tea, made as recommended in a previous Conversation, is an excellent remedy to disperse wind.] Some mothers put currants in cakes, with a view of opening the bowels of their children; but they only open them by disordering them.

163. _My child has an antipathy to certain articles of diet: what would you advise to be done_?

A child's antipathy to certain articles of diet should be respected: it is a sin and a shame to force him to eat what he has a great dislike to: a child, for instance, sometimes dislikes the fat of meat, underdone meat, the skin off boiled milk and off rice-pudding. Why should he not have his likes and dislikes as well as "children of a larger growth?" Besides, there is an idiosyncrasy--a peculiarity of the const.i.tution in some children--and Nature oftentimes especially points out what is good and what is bad for them individually, and we are not to fly in the face of Nature. "What is one man's meat is another man's poison." If a child be forced to eat what he dislikes, it will most likely not only make him sick, but will disorder his stomach and bowels; food, if it is really to do him good, must be eaten by him with a relish, and not with disgust and aversion. Some mothers, who are strict disciplinarians, pride themselves on compelling their children to eat whatever they choose to give them!

Such children are to be pitied!

164. _When ought a child to commence to dine with his parents_?

As soon as he be old enough to sit up at the table, provided the father and mother either dine or lunch in the middle of the day. "I always prefer having children about me at meal tines. I think it makes them little gentlemen and gentlewomen in a manner that nothing else will."--_Christian's Mistake_.

THE NURSERY.

165. _Save you any remarks to make on the selection, the ventilation, the warming, the temperature, and the arrangements of a nursery? and have you any further observations to offer conducive to the well-doing of my child_?

The nursery ought to be the largest and the most airy room in the house. In the town, if it be in the topmost story (provided the apartment be large and airy) so much the better, as the air will then be purer. The architect, in the building of a house, ought to be particularly directed to pay attention to the s.p.a.ce, the loftiness, the ventilation, the light, the warming, and the conveniences of a nursery. A bath-room attached to it will be of great importance and benefit to the health of a child.

It will be advantageous to have a water-closet near at hand, which should be well supplied with water, be well drained, and be well ventilated. If this be not practicable, the evacuations ought to be removed as soon as they are pa.s.sed. It is a filthy and an idle habit of a nurse-maid to allow a motion to remain for any length of time in the room.

The VENTILATION of a nursery is of paramount importance. There ought to be a constant supply of fresh pure air in the apartment. But how few nurseries have fresh, pure air! Many nurseries are nearly hermetically sealed--the windows are seldom, if ever, opened; the doors are religiously closed; and, in summer time, the chimneys are carefully stuffed up, so that a breath of air is not allowed to enter!

The consequences are, the poor unfortunate children "are poisoned by their own breaths," and are made so delicate that they are constantly catching cold; indeed, it might be said that they are labouring under chronic catarrhs, all arising from Nature's laws being set at defiance.

The windows ought to be large, and should be made to freely open both top and bottom. Whenever the child is out of the nursery, the windows ought to be thrown wide open; indeed, when he is in it, if the weather be fine, the upper sash should be a little lowered. A child should be encouraged to change the room, frequently, in order that it may be freely ventilated; for good air is as necessary to his health as wholesome food, and air cannot be good if it be not frequently changed. If you wish to have a strong and healthy child, ponder over and follow this advice.

I have to enter my protest against the use of a stove in a nursery. I consider a gas stove _without a chimney_ to be an abomination, most destructive to human life. There is nothing like the old-fas.h.i.+oned open fire-place with a good-sized chimney, so that it may not only carry off the smoke, but also the impure air of the room.

Be strict in not allowing your child either to touch or to play with fire; frightful accidents have occurred from mothers and nurses being on these points lax. The nursery ought to have a large fire-guard, to go all round the hearth, and which should be sufficiently high to prevent a child from climbing over. Not only must the nursery have a guard, but every room where he is allowed to go should he furnished with one on the bars.

Moreover, it will be advisable to have a guard in every room where a fire is burning, to prevent ladies from being burned. Fortunately for them, preposterous crinolines are out of fas.h.i.+on: when they were in fas.h.i.+on, death from burning was of every-day occurrence; indeed, lady-burning was then to be considered one of the inst.i.tutions of our land!

A nursery is usually kept too hot; the temperature in the winter time ought _not to exceed_ 60 degrees Fahrenheit A _good_ thermometer should be considered an indispensable requisite to a nursery. A child in a hot, close nursery is bathed in perspiration; if he leave the room to go to one of lower temperature, the pores of his skin are suddenly closed, and either a severe cold or an inflammation of the lungs, or an attack of bronchitis, is likely to ensue. Moreover, the child is both weakened and enervated by the heat, and thus readily falls a prey to disease.

A child ought never to be permitted to sit with his back to the fire; if he be allowed, it weakens the spine, and thus his whole frame; it causes a rash of blood to the head and face, and predisposes him to catch cold.

Let a nurse make a point of opening the nursery window every time that she and her little charge leave the nursery, if her absence be only for half an hour. The mother herself ought to see that this advice is followed, pure air is so essential to the well-being of a child. Pure air and pure water, and let me add, pure milk, are for a child the grand and princ.i.p.al requirements of health.

Look well to the DRAINAGE of your house and neighbourhood. A child is very susceptible to the influence of bad drainage. Bad drains are fruitful sources of scarlet fever, of diphtheria, of diarrhoea, &c. "It is sad to be reminded that, whatever evils threaten the health of population, whether from pollutions of water or of air,--whether from bad drainage or overcrowding, they fall heaviest upon the most innocent victims--upon children of tender years. Their delicate frames are infinitely more sensitive than the hardened const.i.tutions of adults, and the breath of poison, or the chill of hards.h.i.+ps, easily blights their tender life."--_The Times._

A nursery floor ought not to be _washed_ oftener than once a week; and then the child or children should, until it be dry, be sent into another room. During the drying of the floor, the windows must, of course, be thrown _wide_ open.

The constant _wetting_ of a nursery is a frequent source of illness among children. The floor ought, of course, to be kept clean; but this may be done by the servant thoroughly sweeping the room out every morning before her little charge makes his appearance.

Do not have your nursery wall covered with green paper-hangings. Green paper-hangings contain large quant.i.ties of a.r.s.enic--a.r.s.enite of copper (Scheele's green)--which, I need scarcely say, is a virulent poison, and which flies about the room in the form of powder. There is frequently enough poison on the walls of a room to destroy a whole neigbourhood.

There is another great objection to having your nursery walls covered with _green_ paper-hangings; if any of the paper should become loose from the walls, a little child is very apt to play with it, and to put it, as he does every thing else, to his mouth. This is not an imaginary state of things, as four children in one family have just lost their lives from sucking green paper-hangings.

Green dresses, as they are coloured with a preparation of a.r.s.enic, are equally as dangerous as green paper-hangings; a child ought, therefore, never to wear a green dress. "It may be interesting to some of our readers," says _Land and Water_, "to know that the new green, so fas.h.i.+onable for ladies' dresses, is just as dangerous in its nature as the green wall-paper, about which so much was written some time since. It is prepared with a large quant.i.ty of a.r.s.enic; and we have been a.s.sured by several of the leading dressmakers, that the workwomen employed in making up dresses of this colour are seriously affected with all the symptoms of a.r.s.enical poisoning. Let our lady friends take care."

Children's toys are frequently painted of a green colour with a.r.s.enite of copper, and are consequently, highly dangerous for him to play with. The best toy for a child is a box of _unpainted_ wooden bricks, which is a constant source of amus.e.m.e.nt to him.

If you have your nursery walls hung with paintings and engravings, let them be of good quality. The horrid daubs and bad engravings that usually disfigure nursery walls, are enough to ruin the taste of a child, and to make him take a disgust to drawing, which would be a misfortune. A fine engraving and a good painting expand and elevate his mind. We all know that first impressions are the most vivid and the most lasting. A taste in early life for everything refined and beautiful purifies his mind, cultivates his intellect, keeps him from low company, and makes him grow up a gentleman!

Lucifer matches, in case of sudden illness, should, both in the nursery and in the bedroom, be always in readiness; but they must be carefully placed out of the reach of children, as lucifer matches are a deadly poison. Many inquests have been held on children who have, from having sucked them, been poisoned by them.

166. _Have you any observation to make on the LIGHT of a nursery_?

Let the window, or what is better, the windows, of a nursery be very large, so as to thoroughly light up every nook and corner of the room, as there is nothing more conducive to the health of a child than an abundance of light in the dwelling. A room cannot, then, be too light.

The windows of a nursery are generally too small. A child requires as much light as a plant. Gardeners are well aware of the great importance of light in the construction of their greenhouses, and yet a child, who requires it as much, and is of much greater importance, is cooped up in dark rooms!

The windows of a nursery ought not only to be frequently opened to let in fresh air, but should be _frequently cleaned_, to let in plenty of light and of suns.h.i.+ne, as nothing is so cheering and beneficial to a child as an abundance of light and suns.h.i.+ne!

_With regard to the best artificial light for a nursery._--The air of a nursery cannot be too pure; I therefore do not advise you to have gas in it, as gas in burning gives off quant.i.ties of carbonic acid and sulphuretted hydrogen, which vitiate the air. The paraffine lamp, too, makes a room very hot and close. There is no better light for a nursery than either Price's patent candles or the old-fas.h.i.+oned tallow-candle.

Let a child's _home_ he the happiest _house_ to him in the world; and to be happy he must be merry, and all around him should be merry and cheerful; and he ought to have an abundance of playthings, to help on the merriment. If he have a dismal nurse, and a dismal home, he may as well be incarcerated in a prison, and be attended by a gaoler. It is sad enough to see dismal, doleful men and women, but it is a truly lamentable and unnatural sight to see a doleful child! The young ought to be as playful and as full of innocent mischief as a kitten. There will be quite time enough in after years for sorrow and for sadness.

Bright colours, plenty of light, _clean_ windows (mind this, if you please), an abundance of _good_-coloured prints, and toys without number, are the proper furnis.h.i.+ngs of a nursery. Nursery! why, the very name tells you what it ought to be--the home of childhood--the most important room in the house,--a room that will greatly tend to stamp the character of your child for the remainder of his life.

167. _Have you any more hints to offer conducive to the well-doing of my child_?

You cannot be too particular in the choice of those who are in constant attendance upon him. You yourself, of course, must be his _head-nurse_--you only require some one to take the drudgery off your hands! You ought to be particularly careful in the selection of his nurse. She should be steady, lively, truthful, and good tempered; and must be free from any natural imperfection, such as squinting, stammering, &c., for a child is such an imitative creature that he is likely to acquire that defect, which in the nurse is natural.

"Children, like babies, are quick at 'taking notice.' What they see they mark, and what they mark they are very p.r.o.ne to copy."--_The Times_.

She ought not to be very young, or she may be thoughtless, careless, and giggling. You have no right to set a child to mind a child; it would be like the blind leading the blind. No! a child is too precious a treasure to be entrusted to the care and keeping of a young girl.

Many a child has been ruined for life by a careless young nurse dropping him and injuring his spine.

A nurse ought to be both strong and active, in order that her little charge may have plenty of good nursing; for it requires great strength in the arms to carry a heavy child for the s.p.a.ce of an hour or two at a stretch, in the open air; and such is absolutely necessary, and is the only way to make him strong, and to cause him to cut his teeth easily, and at the same time to regulate his bowels; a noise, therefore, most be strong and active, and not mind hard, work, for hard work it is; but, after she is accustomed to it, pleasant notwithstanding.

Never should a nurse be allowed to wear a mask, nor to dress up and paint herself as a ghost, or as any other frightful object. A child is naturally timid and full of fears, and what would not make the slightest impression upon a grown-up person might throw a child into fits--

"The sleeping, and the dead, Are but as pictures: 'tis the age of childhood That fears a painted devil."--_Shakspeare_.

Never should she be permitted to tell her little charge frightful stories of ghosts and hobgoblins; if this be allowed, the child's disposition will become timid and wavering, and may continue so for the remainder of his life.

If a little fellow were not terrified by such stories, the darkness would not frighten him more than the light. Moreover, the mind thus filled with fear, acts upon the body, and injures the health. A child must never be placed in a dark cellar, nor frightened by tales of rats, &c. Instances are related of fear thus induced impairing the intellect for life; and there are numerous examples of sudden fright causing a dangerous and even a fatal illness.

_Night-terrors_.--This frightening of a child by a silly nurse frequently brings on night-terrors. He wakes up suddenly, soon after going to sleep, frightened and terrified; screaming violently, and declaring that he has seen either some ghost, or thief, or some object that the silly nurse had been previously in the day describing, who is come for him to take him away. The little fellow is the very picture of terror and alarm; he hides his face in his mother's bosom, the perspiration streams down him, and it is some time before he can be pacified--when, at length, he falls into a troubled feverish slumber, to awake in the morning unrefreshed. Night after night these terrors hara.s.s him, until his health materially suffers, and his young life becomes miserable looking forward with dread to the approach of darkness.

_Treatment of night terrors_.--If they have been brought on by the folly of the nurse, discharge her at once, and be careful to select a more discreet one. When the child retires to rest, leave a candle burning, and let it burn all night, sit with him until he be asleep, and take care, in case he should rouse up in one of his night-terrors, that either yourself or some kind person be near at hand. Do not scold him for being frightened--he cannot help it, but soothe him, calm him, fondle him, take him into your arms and let him feel that he has some one to rest upon, to defend and to protect him. It is frequently in these cases necessary before he can be cared to let him have change of air and change of scene. Let him live, in the day time, a great part of the day in the open air.

A nurse maid should never, on any account whatever, be allowed to whip a child. "Does ever any man or woman remember the feeling of being 'whipped' as a child, the fierce anger, the insupportable ignominy, the longing for revenge, which blotted out all thought of contrition for the fault or rebellion against the punishment? With this recollection on their own parts, I can hardly suppose any parents venturing to inflict it, much less allowing its infliction by another under any circ.u.mstances whatever. A nurse-maid or domestic of any sort, once discovered to have lifted up her hand against a child, ought to meet instant severe rebuke, and on a repet.i.tion of the offence instant dismissal." [Footnote: _A Woman's Thoughts about Women_.]

I have seen in the winter tune a lazy nurse sit before the fire with a child on her lap, rubbing his cold feet just before putting him to his bed. Now, this is not the way to warm his feet. The right method is to let him romp and run either about the room, or the landing, or the hall--this will effectually warm them, but, of course, it will entail a little extra trouble on the nurse, as she will have to use a little exertion to induce him to do so, and this extra trouble a lazy nurse will not relish. Warming the feet before the fire will give the little fellow chilblains, and will make him when he is in bed more chilly. The only way for him to have a good romp before he goes to bed, is for the mother to join in the game. She may rest a.s.sured, that if she does so, her child will not be the only one to benefit by it. She herself will find it of marvellous benefit to her own health; it will warm her own feet, it will be almost sure to insure her a good night, and will make her feel so light and buoyant as almost to fancy that she is a girl again! Well, then, let every child, before going to bed, hold a high court of revelry, let him have an hour--the Children's Hour--devoted to romp, to dance, to shout, to sing, to riot, and to play, and let him be the master of the revels--