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Q: An Ess.e.x girl asks her boyfriend to kiss her somewhere wet, warm and smelly A: He took her to Canvey Island.
Q: Why did the Ess.e.x girl complain of s.e.xual hara.s.sment in the office?
A: The boss asked her to get down to some hard work.
Q: What is the difference between the t.i.tanic and an Ess.e.x girl?
A: Only 1500 men went down on the t.i.tanic.
Q: What is the difference between Ess.e.x girl and the Moby d.i.c.k?
A: The Moby d.i.c.k swallowed less seamen.
Q: Why is an Ess.e.x girl like an old was.h.i.+ng machine?
A: They both drip when f*cked.
Ess.e.x Couple at a Southend United football match: Kevin: Great tackle!
Sharon: An' a neat a.r.s.e.
Q: Why did the Ess.e.x girl fail her driving test?
A: She forgot to check the mirror before going down on the examiner.
Q: What's the difference between an Ess.e.x girl and a carpenter?
A: Ess.e.x girl has longer nails.
Q: Why does an Ess.e.x girl grow her nails long?
A: To get to the really difficult bogeys.
Q: What happened to the Ess.e.x girl who bought a vibrator?
A: She knocked all her teeth out.
Q: What is Ess.e.x girl's idea of sophistication?
A: Malibu-flavoured condoms.
Did you hear about the Ess.e.x girl who thought Harvey's Bristol Cream was a bust-enlarging lotion.
Q: What do Ess.e.x girls like best about policemen?
A: Their s.h.i.+ny helmets.
Q: What's the best chat-up line when picking up an Ess.e.x girl?
A: Me motor's outside.
Q: What is an Ess.e.x girl's favourite position for s.e.x?
A: The mercenary position.
Q: How does an Ess.e.x girl turn off the light after having s.e.x?
A: She closes the car door.
Q: How did Ess.e.x girl know it was all over?
A: Her friend said she was on the Wayne.
Q: What does Ess.e.x girl say before s.e.x?
A: Me name's Sharon.
Q: What does an Ess.e.x girl say after s.e.x?
A: Do you all really play for the same football team.
Q: What makes an Ess.e.x girl's eyes light up?
A: A torch shone in her ear.
Q: How do you know if an Ess.e.x girl has had an o.r.g.a.s.m?
A: She drops her bag of crisps.
Ess.e.x couple go for a walk: Ess.e.x Man: Are you comin'?
Ess.e.x girl: Nah, it's just the way I'm walkin'
Q: Why don't Ess.e.x girls like Father Christmas?
A: Because he only comes once a year.
Q: What is the difference between an Ess.e.x girl and an ironing board?
A: An ironing board's legs are difficult to get apart.
Q: What is the difference between an Ess.e.x girl and a was.h.i.+ng machine?
A: You can dump your load with a was.h.i.+ng machine and it won't follow you around for a week.
Q: Where do Ess.e.x girls do their shopping?
A: Boys R Us
Q: Why don't Ess.e.x girls vote?
A: They can't spell 'X'
Q: What's an Ess.e.x girl's favourite hymn?
A: O Come All ye faithful.
Q: What's the difference between Ess.e.x girl and Snow White?
A: Snow White didn't slept with more than 7 men at once.
Q: What is the difference between an Ess.e.x Man and an Ess.e.x girl?
A: An Ess.e.x girl has a higher sperm count.
Q: What does an Ess.e.x girl do with her a.r.s.ehole after s.e.x?
A: She takes him down the pub.
Q: What's the difference between meeting an Ess.e.x girl and a Club 18-30 Holiday on the Costa Del?
A: There's only a 99% chance of s.e.x on a Club 18-30 Holiday.
Q: What's the difference between an Ess.e.x girl and a Walrus?
A: One is big, fat, ugly with a moustache and smells of fish.
The other is a Walrus.
Q: What's the difference between Ess.e.x girl and a plate of spaghetti?
A: The spaghetti moves when you eat it.
