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A: Cos he didn't pay for her chips.
Q: Why does an Ess.e.x girl keep her feet out of the bath?
A: So her ankle chains don't get rusty.
Q: How do you know when Ess.e.x girl's got her period?
A: She stays in to wash her hair.
Q: How does an Ess.e.x girl get dinner for her guests?
A: h.e.l.lo? Is that Pizza-to-go?
Q: What's the difference between an Ess.e.x Girl and a gerbil?
A: An Ess.e.x Girl doesn't stand a hope in h.e.l.l of getting a date with a Hollywood star.
Q: Why did the Ess.e.x girl join a golf club?
A: She wanted to become the inter-course champion.
Q: Why do Ess.e.x girls love snooker?
A: They like men who go in off the pink.
Kevin: 'Ere Trace, fancy trying something from the Kama Sutra?
Tracey: You know I don't like Indian food, Kev.
TV Interviewer: What do YOU think about the Green Belt?
Ess.e.x girl: You shouldn't wear it with a pink frock.
Q: What's the difference between Ess.e.x girl and Mount Everest?
A: Fewer people have been up Mount Everest.
Q: What's the difference between dating and Ess.e.x Girl and travelling on the Star s.h.i.+p Enterprise?
A: The Star s.h.i.+p Enterprise only goes where no man has gone before.
Q: Why does an Ess.e.x Girl wear earrings?
A: She wants to look like her dad
Fact: An Ess.e.x girl is the only person that can trip a guy up and be on the floor before him.
Did you hear about the Ess.e.x girl who thought the Gulf Conflict was a new Volkswagen convertible?
Q: Why is an Ess.e.x girl like an anchor?
A: She goes down so quickly.
Ess.e.x Man : D'you know why I love you?
Ess.e.x girl: I give in.
Ess.e.x Man : Tha's right.
Q: What's the difference between Ess.e.x girl and Heinz Tomato Soup?
A: There's no artificial colouring in Heinz Tomato soup.
Q: What is the Ess.e.x Girl attachment on a Swiss Army Knife for?
A: Getting feet out of steering wheels.
Q: What's the difference between Ess.e.x girl and a turkey?
A: A turkey doesn't gobble at night.
Q: What's the difference between Ess.e.x girl's p.u.s.s.y and a tube of glue?
A: You might consider sniffing a tube of glue.
Q: Why does an Ess.e.x girl where patent shoes?
A: To check she's still got her knickers on.
Q: Why doesn't Ess.e.x Girl snort c.o.ke?
A: The bubbles get up her nose.
Q: How do you find an Ess.e.x girl's G-spot?
A: Promise her a weekend in Marbella.
Q: How do you find an Ess.e.x girl's c.l.i.toris?
A: Turn left at the handbrake.
Q: How do you confuse an Ess.e.x girl?
A: Take her out in a left hand drive car.
Q: Why does an Ess.e.x girl where cheap perfume?
A: To keep the flies off her kebab.
Q: How does an Ess.e.x girl hold her liquor?
A: By the ears.
Q: Why did the Ess.e.x girl give up aerobics?
A: She couldn't put her legs together.
Q: What is the difference between an Ess.e.x girl and a table?
A: A table only gets laid 3 times a day.
Q: Where does Ess.e.x girl get together with her friends?
A: The VD clinic.
Q: An Ess.e.x girl told her boyfriend that lights must flash and bells must ring when he made love to her.
A: So they did it on a Pinball machine.
Q: What is the most essential item in Ess.e.x girl's make-up kit?
A: Clearasil.
Q: What is the difference between a supermarket trolley and an Ess.e.x girl?
A: A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.
Q: What's the difference between an Ess.e.x girl's knickers and Alton Towers?
A: You have to pay to into Alton Towers.
