General John Regan Part 45

"Doyle," said Dr. O'Grady, "that's the American again. That's Billing."

"Bed.a.m.n!" said Doyle excitedly. "You're right. It's him sure enough."

"Go and seize him. Take him into the hotel. Drag his subscription out of him if you have to use a knife to get it. Whatever happens don't let him go again."

Doyle realised what his duty was before Dr. O'Grady had stopped speaking. He ran across the square to the statue. Mr. Billing, heedless of Moriarty's threats, was lifting the sheet still higher. He had read the inscription and wanted to inspect the statue itself. Doyle seized him by the shoulder.

"Come you along with me," he said, "and come quiet if you don't want me to give you in charge of the police."

Dr. O'Grady, watching from a distance, saw Mr. Billing marched off towards the hotel. Then he turned to Lord Alfred again.

"I must apologize," he said, "for running away from you like that. But we couldn't have talked with that fellow, Doyle, pestering us. You don't know Doyle, of course. If you did, and if you happened to owe him a little money you'd realise how infernally persistent he can be."

Lord Alfred had also been watching the capture of Mr. Billing. He wanted to understand, if possible; what was going on round about him.

"What is your friend doing with the other man?" he asked.

"Only capturing him," said Dr. O'Grady. "You needn't feel any anxiety about that. The other man is an American and a thorough-paced swindler.

Nothing will happen to him that he doesn't deserve. But we mustn't waste time. We've still got to unveil the statue. You go on with what you were saying. You were just going to tell me what the Lord-Lieutenant's difficulty is."

"You invited His Excellency down here," said Lord Alfred, "to unveil a statue??"

"Quite right. And we have the statue ready. There it is." He pointed out the statue as he spoke.

"The statue," said Lord Alfred, "purports to represent General John Regan."

"It does represent him. There's no purporting about the matter. The General's name is on the pedestal. You'll see it yourself as soon as you unveil it."

"It now appears," said Lord Alfred coldly, "that there never was such a person as General John Regan."

"Well? Try and get along a little quicker. I don't see yet where the insult to the Lord-Lieutenant is supposed to come in."

"You asked the Lord-Lieutenant to unveil a faked-up statue, and you have the amazing a.s.surance to say now that you don't see that you've done anything wrong."

"I don't."

"But there never was a General??"

"Do you mean to say," said Dr. O'Grady, "that the Lord-Lieutenant supposed that the General really existed?"

"Of course he supposed it. How could there be a statue to him if he didn't? We all supposed it. It wasn't until His Excellency began to prepare the speech he was to make that we found out the truth. He wrote to the British Museum and to the Librarian at the Bodleian??"

"I'm sorry he took all that trouble. We didn't expect anything of the sort."

"What did you expect?"

"Oh, I don't know. A few words about the elevating nature of great works of art?particularly statues. You know the sort of thing I mean. How the English nation occupies the great position it does very largely because it flocks to the Royal Academy regularly every year. How the people of Ballymoy are opening up a new era for Ireland. But I needn't go on. You must have heard him making speeches scores of times. That was all we wanted, and if we'd had the slightest idea that he was taking a lot of trouble to prepare a learned lecture we'd have told him that he needn't."

"But how could he make any speech about a General who never existed?"

"My dear Lord Alfred! What has the General got to do with it? We didn't want a speech about him. We wanted one about his statue."

"But it isn't his statue. If there was no General there can't be a statue to him."

"There is," said Dr. O'Grady. "There's no use flying in the face of facts. The statue's under that sheet."

"It's not. I mean to say that there may be a statue there, but it's not to General John Regan. How can there be a statue to him when there was no such person?"

"Was there ever such a person as Venus?" said Dr. O'Grady. "There wasn't. And yet every museum in Europe is half full of statues of her.

Was there ever such a person as the Dying Gladiator? Was there ever a man called Laoc.o.o.n, who strangled sea serpents? You know perfectly well that there weren't any such people, and yet some of the most famous statues in the world are erected in memory of them."

"But His Excellency naturally thought??"

"Look here," said Dr. O'Grady, "if we'd asked him to unveil a statue of Hercules in Ballymoy, would he have gone round consulting the librarians of London and Oxford to find out whether there was such a person as Hercules or not? Would he have said he was insulted? Would he have sent you here to ask for an apology? You know perfectly well he wouldn't."

Lord Alfred seemed slightly puzzled. Dr. O'Grady's line of argument was quite new to him. He felt sure that a fallacy underlay it somewhere, but he could not at the moment see what the fallacy was.

"The case of Hercules is quite different," he said feebly.

"It's not in the least different. It's exactly the same. There was no such person as Hercules. Yet there are several statues of him. There was no such person as our General, but there may be lots of statues to him.

There's certainly one. There's probably at least another. I should think the people of Bolivia are sure to have one. We'll ask Billing when we see him."

"Is he the priest who mistook me for the Lord-Lieutenant?"

"Oh, no. He's the swindler whom Doyle caught. By the way, here's Doyle coming out of the hotel again. Do you mind if I call him?"

Doyle crossed the square very slowly, because he stopped frequently to speak to the people whom he saw. He stopped when he came to Father McCormack and whispered something to him. He stopped when he came to Major Kent. He stopped for a moment beside Mrs. Gregg. He seemed to be full of some news and eager to tell it to everybody. When he saw Dr.

O'Grady coming to meet him he hurried forward.

"I have it," he said, "I have it safe."

"The cheque?" said Dr. O'Grady.

"Better than that. Notes. Bank of Ireland notes."

"Good," said Dr. O'Grady. "Then it won't make so much matter if we don't get the pier. I'm having a hard job with Lord Alfred. It appears that the Lord-Lieutenant is in a pretty bad temper, and it may not be easy to get the pier. However, I'll do my best. I wish you'd go and fetch the illuminated address. Is Thady Gallagher safe?"

"He's making a speech this minute within, in the bar, and Mr. Billing's listening to him."

"Good. Get the illuminated address for me now as quick as you can."

Doyle hurried off in the direction of the hotel. Dr. O'Grady turned once more to Lord Alfred.

"By the way," he said, "before we go on with the unveiling of the statue would you mind telling me this: Have you got an ear for music?"

Lord Alfred had recovered a little from the bewildering effect of Dr.

O'Grady's argument. He reminded himself that he had a duty to perform.

He regained with an effort his original point of view, and once more felt sure that the Lord-Lieutenant had been grossly insulted.