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"How did yours first show itself?"
"I hardly know. I used to be subject to sudden attacks of faintness; but I am not sure that they had anything to do with the disease itself."
Just what Maude was becoming subject to! She had told him of a fainting-fit in London; had told him of another now.
"I suppose the doctors warn you against sudden shocks, Bob?"
"More than against anything. I am not to agitate myself in the least; am not to run or jump, or fly into a temper. They would put me in a gla.s.s case, if they could."
"Well, we'll see what skill can do for you," said Hartledon, rousing himself. "I wonder if a warmer climate would be of service? You might have that without exertion, travelling slowly."
"Couldn't afford it," was the ingenuous answer. "I have forestalled my pay as it is."
Lord Hartledon smiled. Never a more generous disposition than his; and if money could save this poor Bob Kirton, he should not want it.
Walking forth, he strolled down the road towards Calne, intending to ask a question or two of the surgeon. Mr. Hillary was at home. His house was at this end of Calne, just past the Rectory and opposite the church, with a side view of Clerk Gum's. The door was open, and Lord Hartledon strolled into the surgery unannounced, to the surprise of Mr. Hillary, who did not know he was at Calne.
The surgeon's opinion was not favourable. Captain Kirton had heart-disease beyond any doubt. His chest was weak also, the lungs not over-sound; altogether, the Honourable Robert Kirton's might be called a bad life.
"Would a warmer climate do anything for him?" asked Lord Hartledon.
The surgeon shrugged his shoulders. "He would be better there for some things than here. On the whole it might temporarily benefit him."
"Then he shall go. And now, Hillary, I want to ask you something else--and you must answer me, mind. Captain Kirton tells me the fact of his having heart-disease is not mentioned in the house lest it should alarm Lady Hartledon, and develop the same in her. Is there any fear of this?"
"It is true that it's not spoken of; but I don't think there's any foundation for the fear."
"The old dowager's very fanciful!" cried Lord Hartledon, resentfully.
"A queer old--girl," remarked the surgeon. "Can't help saying it, though she is your mother-in-law."
"I wish she was any one else's! She's as likely as not to let out something of this to Maude in her tantrums. But I don't believe a word of it; I never saw the least symptom of heart-disease in my wife."
"Nor I," said the doctor. "Of course I have not examined her; neither have I had much opportunity for ordinary observation."
"I wish you would contrive to get the latter. Come up and call often; make some excuse for seeing Lady Hartledon professionally, and watch her symptoms."
"I am seeing her professionally now; once or twice a week. She had one or two fainting-fits after she came down, and called me in."
"Kirton says he used to have those fainting-fits. Are they a symptom of heart-disease?"
"In Lady Hartledon I attribute them entirely to her present state of health. I a.s.sure you, I don't see the slightest cause for fear as regards your wife's heart. She is of a calm temperament too; as far as I can observe."
They stood talking for a minute at the door, when Lord Hartledon went out. Pike happened to pa.s.s on the other side of the road.
"He is here still, I see," remarked Hartledon.
"Oh dear, yes; and likely to be."
"I wonder how the fellow picks up a living?"
The surgeon did not answer. "Are you going to make a long stay with us?"
he asked.
"A very short one. I suppose you have had no return of the fever?"
"Not any. Calne never was more healthy than it is now. As I said to Dr.
Ashton yesterday, but for his own house I might put up my shutters and take a lengthened holiday."
"Who is ill at the Rectory? Mrs. Ashton?"
"Mrs. Ashton is not strong, but she's better than she was last year.
I have been more concerned for Anne than for her."
"Is _she_ ill?" cried Lord Hartledon, a spasm seizing his throat.
"Ailing. But it's an ailing I do not like."
"What's the cause?" he rejoined, feeling as if some other crime were about to be brought home to him.
"That's a question I never inquire into. I put it upon the air of the Rectory," added the surgeon in jesting tones, "and tell them they ought to go away for a time, but they have been away too much of late, they say. She's getting over it somewhat, and I take care that she goes out and takes exercise. What has it been? Well, a sort of inward fever, with flushed cheeks and unequal spirits. It takes time for these things to be got over, you know. The Rector has been anything but well, too; he is not the strong, healthy man he was."
"And all _my_ work; my work!" cried Hartledon to himself, almost gnas.h.i.+ng his teeth as he went back down the street. "What _right_ had I to upset the happiness of that family? I wish it had pleased G.o.d to take me first!
My father used to say that some men seem born into the world only to be a blight to it; it's what I have been, Heaven knows."
He knew only too well that Anne Ashton was suffering from the shock caused by his conduct. The love of these quiet, sensitive, refined natures, once awakened, is not given for a day, but for all time; it becomes a part of existence; and cannot be riven except by an effort that brings destruction to even future hope of happiness. Not even Mr.
Hillary, not even Dr. and Mrs. Ashton, could discern the utter misery that was Anne's daily portion. She strove to conceal it all. She went about the house cheerfully, wore a smiling face when people were present, dressed well, laughed with their guests, went about the parish to rich and poor, and was altogether gay. Ah, do you know what it is, this a.s.sumption of gaiety when the heart is breaking?--this dread fear lest those about you should detect the truth? Have _you_ ever lived with this mask upon your face?--which can only be thrown off at night in the privacy of your own chamber, when you may abandon yourself to your desolation, and pray heaven to take you or give you increased strength to _live_ and _bear_? It may seem a light thing, this state of heart that I am telling you about; but it has killed both men and women, for all that; and killed them in silence.
Anne Ashton had never complained. She did everything she had been used to doing, was particular about all her duties; but a nervous cough attacked her, and her frame wasted, and her cheek grew hectic. Try as she would she could not eat: all she confessed to, when questioned by Mrs. Ashton, was "a pain in her throat;" and Mr. Hillary was called in. Anne laughed: there was nothing the matter with her, she said, and her throat was better; she had strained it perhaps. The doctor was a wise doctor; his professional visits were spent in gossip; and as to medicine, he sent her a tonic, and told her to take it or not as she pleased. Only time, he said to Mrs. Ashton--she would be all right in time; the summer heat was making her languid.
The summer heat had nearly pa.s.sed now, and perhaps some of the battle was pa.s.sing with it. None knew--let me repeat it--what that battle had been; none ever can know, unless they go through it themselves. In Miss Ashton's case there was a feature some are spared--her love had been known--and it increased the anguish tenfold. She would overcome it if she could only forget him; but it would take time; and she would come out of it an altogether different woman, her best hope in life gone, her heart dead.
"What brought him down here?" mentally questioned Mr. Hillary, in an explosion of wrath, as he watched his visitor down the street. "It will undo all I have been doing. He, and his wife too, might have had the grace to keep away for this year at least. I loved him once, with all his faults; but I should like to see him in the pillory now. It has told on him also, if I'm any reader of looks. And now, Miss Anne, you go off from Calne to-morrow an I can prevail. I only hope you won't come across him in the meantime."
CHAPTER XXVI.
UNDER THE TREES.
It was the same n.o.ble-looking man Calne had ever known, as he went down the road, throwing a greeting to one and another. Lord Hartledon was not a whit less attractive than Val Elster, who had won golden opinions from all. None would have believed that the cowardly monster Fear was for ever feasting upon his heart.
He came to a standstill opposite the clerk's house, looked at it for a moment, as if deliberating whether he should enter, and crossed the road. The shades of evening had begun to fall whilst he talked with the surgeon. As he advanced up the clerk's garden, some one came out of the house with a rush and ran against him.
"Take care," he lazily said.
The girl--it was no other than Miss Rebecca Jones--shrank away when she recognized her antagonist. Flying through the gate she rapidly disappeared up the street. Lord Hartledon reached the house, and made his way in without ceremony. At a table in the little parlour sat the clerk's wife, presiding at a solitary tea-table by the light of a candle.