Valentine M'Clutchy, The Irish Agent Part 71

On speaking, he put his hand into his pocket, and pulling out the _Hue and Cry_ of a certain date, read a description, and, as he advanced, he turned his eyes with singular sagacity and satisfaction upon the person and features of poor Easel.

"Browbeater was right," said he; "you are here at full length in the _Hue and Cry_--middle size--of rather plausible carriage--brown hair--hazel eyes--and a very knowing look--the upper lip a good deal curled; which I see is the case; known to be in the possession of more money that ought to belong to a person in your condition--and lastly, before you came here you were hawking high treason in the King's County, in the character of a ballad-singer and vagabond. You have expended sums of money among the poor of this neighborhood, with no good intention towards the government; and the consequence is that Whiteboyism has increased rapidly since you came amongst us."

"But on what authority do you arrest me now?"

"I might arrest you at any time on suspicion; but here are affidavits, in which it is sworn that you are believed to be a popish spy and treasonable agent; and besides I have instructions from the Castle to take you."

"But what am I to do?" asked Easel,--"I am a stranger, and known here by n.o.body, This, certainly, is not a very Irish reception, I must say, nor is it very creditable to the hospitality of the country. You were civil enough to me when you expected me to become an Orangeman."

"Ah," replied Val, "that's a proof of your ability; you overreached me then, which is what few could have done. No--none but a master-hand like you could do it. Mr. M'Loughlin," he proceeded, "would you allow me a separate room for a few minutes? I am anxious to put some questions to this mischievous vagabond, privately."

"With all my heart," replied the other; "go into the dining-room."

"Now, you scoundrel," said Val, "that you may labor under no mistake, I think it fair to tell you that Browbeater and I know everything about you, and all the Protean shapes you have gone through for the last three years, in different parts of the kingdom Now listen to me, you d----d impostor; listen to me, I say--you have it in your power to become a useful man to the present government. They have revived the Spy system, and there is no doubt, from your acquaintance with the designs and proceedings of Whiteboyism, and of Popery in general, that you can afford very important information on the subject; if you can, your bread is baked for life. You know not the large, the incredible large staff of Spies that we have at work, and believe me, when I tell you that if you make the proper disclosures to me I shall recommend you in the strongest terms to Browbeater, who will have you placed high upon the list of informers--a respectable cla.s.s of men, let me tell you, and extremely useful--so that you will be well and liberally paid for your treachery, I mean that treachery which has _amor patriae_ to justify it. We will not attempt to control your genius in any way; you can take to ballad-singing again, if you like, or any other patriotic line of serving the government which you choose. Having premised me this much, allow me now to ask you your real name."

"For the present I must decline answering that question."

"Very proper--I see you know your business: and it is not my wish that you should say anything to criminate yourself--certainly not. But in the meantime, that you may see I am not at all in the dark, I tell you that your name is Larry O'Trap, a decent journeyman carpenter by trade, but as much a painter as I am a parson."

"I won't submit to a private examination," replied Easel; "examine me publicly--that is, before the gentlemen in the next room, and I will answer you to better purpose, perhaps; but I hate this hole and corner work."

"You will give no information, then?"

"I don't exactly say that--it is probable I may."

"Think of it, then," said Val, "and let me tell you, there is little time to be lost. I shall speak to you once again before I commit you--that is, after I shall have punished this villain M'Loughlin, whom I hate as I hate h.e.l.l; and mark me, you scoundrel, and reflect on this,--I am a man who never yet forgave an injury; therefore don't make me your enemy. This M'Loughlin insulted me some years ago in Castle c.u.mber, and it is that insult that I am this day revenging upon his head--so think of my words."

"I shall think of them; I shall never forget them."

"Keep this fellow in close custody," said Val to the constables, as they re-entered the parlor--"until the business of the day is over. Mr.

Sheriff, it is time now that you should do your duty."

"I countermand that order," said Easel. "You see, Mr. M'Clutchy," said the sheriff, smiling, "that here is a countermand."

"Here is your rent in full, Mr. M'Clutchy," said M'Loughlin, "and lest notes might not prove satisfactory, as they never do to you, there it is in gold. You will find it right."

"Well, really I am glad of this," said Val, "it would have been painful to me to have gone to extremities. Still there is the Ejectment to take place, as the leases have expired: but that, my good neighbor, will be merely a form. Of course you will be permitted to go in again as caretakers; but in the meantime we must get the furniture out, and receive possession in the proper way. I was angry, Mr. M'Loughlin, a while ago, as I said and spoke hastily--for indeed I am rather warm when promoting Lord c.u.mber's interests; G.o.d forgive him in the meantime, for the disagreeable duties he too frequently put to me--duties for which I am certain to incur the censure."

"I countermand the order," repeated Easel, with a singular smile on his face; "and desire you, Mr. M'Loughlin, to withhold your rent."

"You!" exclaimed Val, looking at him. "Yes!" he replied, walking over, and looking him sternly in the face.

"If it were worth while to ask your name I would--but I believe I know it already."

"Perhaps not."

"Well, perhaps not; and pray what may it be?"

"I will tell you, sir," replied Hartley. "This gentleman is--"

"Larry O'Trap, a Spy and Whiteboy Agent," said Val, looking into the Hue and Cry, and again surveying Easel. "He is imposing on you, Mr.

Hartley."

"This gentleman, sir," proceeded Hartley, "is the Honorable Richard Topertoe, brother to the Right Honorable Lord c.u.mber--"

"And who has the honor to present you with this communication from that n.o.bleman," said Mr. Topertoe, "which contains your Dismissal from his Agency; and this to you, Mr. M'Slime, which also contains your Dismissal as his Law Agent. The authority of each of you from this moment ceases; and yours, my sterling, excellent, and honorable friend, from this moment recommences," said he, turning to Mr. Hickman. "This letter contains your re-appointment to the situation which you so honorably scorned to hold, when you found it necessary, as his Agent, to oppress the people. Will you be good enough, Mr. M'Loughlin, to call in Mr.

Harman and those other people? You shall not be left in the dark, sir,"

he proceeded, "as to the extent of our knowledge of your dishonesty, treachery, and persecution."

"Truly, my friend M'Clutchy, it is our duty now to act a Christian part here. This dispensation may be ultimately for our good, if we receive it in a proper spirit. May He grant it!"

M'Clutchy's face became the color of lead on perusing his dismissal, which was brief, stern, and peremptory--or as the phrase goes--short, sharp, and decisive. It was written by Lord c.u.mber's own hand, and to give it all due authenticity, had his seal formally attached at the bottom. Harman now entered, accompanied by Darby, Poll Doolin, and a number of those persons among the tenantry, whom M'Clutchy had robbed and persecuted. On looking at them, after having twice perused the letter of dismissal, his hands and knees trembled as if he were about to fall, and on attempting to fold the letter, it was visible to all that he could scarcely accomplish it.

"Now," proceeded Mr. Topertoe, "I may as well inform you that I have made myself thoroughly and most intimately acquainted with your conduct in all its revolting phases; I have read and transmitted to my brother two letters which pa.s.sed between you and this pious gentleman, Mr.

M'Slime, here, upon the subject of Messrs. M'Loughlin and Harman's property--than which, nothing more flagitious could--in the way of business, or in the performance of any public duty--enter the heart of man. Just Heaven! a poor creature, perhaps prompted by the cravings of hunger, will steal some paltry matter, not worth half a crown--perhaps a pocket-handkerchief--and forthwith out comes justice, oh, not Justice, but Law in her stead, with sword in hand, and scales most iniquitously balanced; and, lo! the unfortunate wretch is immediately dragged to a prison, and transported for life to a penal colony; whilst at the same time, rapacious villains like you, will plunder by wholesale--will wring the hearts of the poor, first by your tyranny, and afterwards rob them in their very dest.i.tution. The unhappy, struggling widow, without a husband to defend her, you would oppress, because she is helpless, and your scoundrel son would corrupt her, were she not virtuous. You would intoxicate an aged man that he might, in the unguarded moments of inebriety, surrender a valuable lease into your keeping. You would not receive your rents, except in gold, or which you made the wretched people pay, ruinous, murderous premium, by selling it but to them from day to day. You--in fact have now neither time nor patience to enumerate your monstrous corruptions and robberies, although I know them all, as you shall find ere long. There is one act, however, so refined in diabolical depravity, so deeply narked by a spirit of cowardice, revenge, and cruelty, that I might almost question whether, in the lowest depths of h.e.l.l itself, anything so d.a.m.nably black and satanic could originate--I allude to the plan which you conceived and got executed by your heartless, cowardly son, aided by that old woman who stands therein your presence, for ruining the stainless reputation of Mr. M'Loughlin's only daughter."

"I can prove that," said Poll, "and here I am ready and willing to do so."

"In this, however, thank G.o.d, you have failed," he continued, "yes, in this, and every other act of your villainy you have been detected, and shall be exposed and punished before the proper tribunal. It is you, sir, and such scourges of the poor and industrious cla.s.ses as you, who goad the unhappy, the dest.i.tute, and despairing people into crimes that are disgraceful to the country; it is you, and such as you, who force them, maddened by your cruelty and oppression, to fall back upon revenge, when they cannot find redress or justice in the laws of the land. Unhappily the whole kingdom is studded too thickly with such men, and until property in this unfortunate country is placed upon an equal footing between landlord and tenant--until the rights and privileges of him who farms and cultivates the soil, are as well protected and secured by law as are those of the other party, so long will there be bloodshed and crime. The murderer is justly abhorred, apprehended, and punished as he ought in the sight of G.o.d and man to be: but is there no law to reach unprincipled wretches like you, whose grinding rapacity, dishonesty, and inhumanity, furnish him with the motives and incentives to the crime he commits? As for you, gentlemen, and honest men as you are," he proceeded, addressing M'Loughlin and Harman. "you remain, of course, in your farms; you shall have reasonable and fair leases, and, what is more, your credit shall be re-established on as firm a footing as ever.

You shall be enabled to resume your business on an ample scale, and that as sure as I am master of two hundred thousand pounds. And now, O'Drive, a word with you:--I have fully discovered your treachery to both M'Clutchy and M'Slime; you were a willing agent in carrying out their hard and heartless excesses. You were, in truth, a thorough bailiff, without conscience, feeling, or remorse. In no instance have you ever been known to plead for, or take the part of a poor man; so far from that, I find that you have invited and solicited their confidence, only--in case they did not satisfy your petty extortions--that you might betray them to your relentless employer, whilst, under all possible circ.u.mstances you fleeced them by threats, and acted the vampire on a small scale. You are no longer a bailiff on this estate, and I have the further satisfaction to a.s.sure you, that in consequence of a private interview I had with the new bishop, the Right Rev. Dr. Lucre, concerning your appointment to the situation of under goaler at Castle c.u.mber, I have succeeded in getting it cancelled; so that you are at liberty to carry your low knavery to the best market you can get for it.

In all this, I am authorized by my brother, who, I trust, will soon see the erroneous notions which he entertains upon the subject of property, and his duties as landlord. You, my dear friend, Mr. Hickman--my friend, I say with pride, and the friend of the poor with still greater pride--you will have the goodness to receive from Mr. M'Clutchy and M'Slime all books and doc.u.ments pertaining,to the estate, that are in their possession."

"Well, be my sowl," said Darby, who was the first to break the silence that followed these observations; "if you were Lord c.u.mber himself, instead of his brother, I'd call that same tratement of me as purty a piece of ingrat.i.tude as ever came acra.s.s me;--me that gave you most of the information--that sould them both, I may say--an' the letthers too that convicted them, are they forgotten?"

"There is your friend and kindred spirit, Mr. M'Clutchy," replied Mr.

Topertoe, "who, only that he never forgives an injury, might get you a secret appointment among the Castle Spies and Informers, with whom, or rather it would appear, with the gentleman who drills them, he has considerable influence. It is for such a respectable corps that your talents are best adapted."

"Of a truth," said Solomon, "this is a turning of the tables, to use a somewhat vulgar adage. As for me, I know it is good to be purified in the furnace, and scourged with many stripes, as it is a fresh proof that I am cared for."

Up until this moment M'Clutchy had not uttered a single syllable, but, as we have said, he trembled very much, his temples throbbed, and his brow fell. The squint in his left eye became deeper and more guilt-like.

The revulsion of feeling, coming upon him so unexpectedly as it did, was dreadful, and the tumult within him quite beyond the power of language to describe.

He merely said, and this with parched lips and slow enunciation--

"Very well, Mr. Topertoe; your wishes touching the giving up of all doc.u.ments connected with the property shall be duly complied with, as far as I am concerned. That, is all I choose to say just now."

"And so far as I am concerned," said Solomon, "I can say that mine also shall be rendered up with rejoicing--with rejoicing that I have no further intercourse with a profligate and most unchristian landlord.

I feel that in this thing I have cause to be rather thankful than otherwise."

"Now, M'Clutchy," said M'Loughlin, "I could overlook all your dishonesty and treacherous misrepresentation of me to Lord c.u.mber--your attempt to oust us out of our farms, and to put your son and M'Slime in our places--your suppressing the fact, besides that we offered a thousand pounds apiece for a renewal--your whispering away our commercial reputation, and thereby bringing us in the end to ruin--all that, I say, I could overlook and forgive; but for your foul and cowardly attempt to destroy the fair fame of our spotless child--for that, sir, in which, thank heaven, you failed, I now say, I trust, with honest pride, and tell you face to face--if you had only the manliness to look in mine--that I feel this to be the hour of my triumph--but not of my vengeance, for I trust I am a Christian man."

"As for me, M'Olutchy," said Harman, "really, on looking over your whole conduct--into which there comes not one single virtue belonging to our better nature--I am so filled with indignation, and a perception of the baseness and blackness of your heart and character, your revenge, your perfidy, and above all, your cowardice, that I can feel nothing for you but a loathing and abhorrence that really sicken me when I think of you."

"What could you expect," observed Poll Doolin, "from the son of Kate Clank and villainous ould Deaker?"

M'Clutchy never raised his eye, but taking up his hat, he and Solomon, followed soon after by Darby, took their departure in silence; Solomon occasionally shrugging his shoulders and throwing up his eyes, like a persecuted man.

"There is now no further use for preserving my incognito," observed Mr.

Topertoe, "and as you, Mr. Sheriff, have had your journey for nothing, I shall feel obliged if you will join these gentlemen at the Castle c.u.mber Arms to dinner, where we can have an opportunity of talking these and other matters over more at our leisure."